Bedtime Prayers

The scene: Emma, in bed under protest after having lots of fun with Dora ("Who will help Benny climb the wall?" "I do!!"). Mummy and Daddy, kneeling bedside...

Mummy: Okay, let's pray... (I usually have to do the "repeat after me" thing)
Emma: JESUS, THANK YOU [pronounced "dank do"] (Caps show the extra volume and excitement in her voice!!)
Mummy: For Daddy
Emma: FOR DADDY
Mummy: Thank you for Mummy
Emma: DANK DO FOR MUMMY
Mummy: Thank you for Toby
Emma: DANK DO FOR NONY
Mummy: Thank you for our home
Emma: DANK DO HOME
Mummy: Thank you for our food
Emma: DANK DO FOOOOOD
(Mummy and Daddy break down in hysterical laughter!)
Mummy: We love you Jesus
Emma: I LOVE YOU JESUS
Mummy: Amen
Emma: AMEN!!
Mummy: Okay, time to go to sleep
Emma: NOOOOOOOO...

Maybe it's just us, but we think Emma's hilarious.

She's back!!!

I am pleased to report that the real Emma is back!!

After getting a decent night's sleep Emma was up at 7am and ready to play. She didn't cough once until about 10.30am!! After a few coughs I gave her a nebulizer treatment, which is just a saline mist for her. It really helped and she was pretty clear until nap time.

As for the whiny, clingy behavior - not today!! The only time she approached whiny was after dropping a book on her foot and she needed consoling. When I went down to the basement to do the laundry she simply said "okay, bye Mummy!" Awesome. I had no shadow following me into the kitchen either. It was great.

During her nap she was all congested and I had to suction the mucus out of her throat as she doesn't clear it well by herself. She ended up sleeping for about 3 hours with just a couple of cough breaks!

As for Toby, he's still a bit congested but is his happy self 99% of the time. He's trying really hard to roll from his back to his belly and if he's left on his belly he pushes himself backwards on the floor.

Since both the kids are sick we will be missing Aunt Kimberly's birthday dinner, which sucks, and we aren't quite sure what to do about church this weekend. If we do take them they would not be in the nursery or running around since we don't want to spread it.

I started sneezing this morning, which I hope is due to a lack of dusting on my part and not the same germs the kids have!!

I just hope we're all healthy for Easter as it's supposed to be beautiful weather and obviously a special weekend.

4 little words

After giving her a bath and drying her hair, we put Emma to bed tonight. As usual, Scott and I leaned over her and prayed with her. As I stood up to leave she pointed to her cheek for another kiss! And as I walked toward the door Emma shouted " I love you Mummy."

No amount of sleep could have restored my energy like those four words.

Nurse Mummy

As you might expect both kids fell asleep on the way to the doctors this morning! Unfortunately Emma had to wake up and Toby did anyway.

You might wonder why we have reacted to the idea of croup or even just a serious cough in such a dramatic way. After all, all kids get them and it's no big deal. This is one of those situations where Emma's diagnosis comes in to play and we go on the alert.

As you know, Emma has obstructive sleep apnea, and is prone to block her airway in her sleep. A pain in itself. Complicate that with a virus that causes inflammation of said airway and you could have a real problem. Taking into account that Emma has an especially narrow airway in the first place and you understand why we are looking for any way to heal the problem.

Thankfully our doctor was on the same page without me having to say a word, and has prescribed a short course of antibiotics, just in case there are any nasties lurking in the airway or lungs. Right now though, her lungs sound clear and her ears look good too!

Tonight I'm seriously considering putting her in her pajamas and then taking a drive in the car. She's taking a nap right now, but I don't know how much sleep she's getting as she coughs and cries every few minutes.

One good thing is that she ate some food at lunch-time (yes, in the living room watching Dora - don't judge me!!), but I am increasing her bolus feeds from the newly reduced 2 to the full 4 until she is doing better. Keeping her hydrated and nourished are more important for now.

Dr. K also suggested Benadryl might help with the cough and help sleep. It may also make her hyper, so we'll have to try it out!!

Please keep Emma in your prayers, she's a mess on little sleep. Toby too - he's still rattling every now and then, but seems to be over the worst of it. I wish I could be sure Scott and I won't get it too!!

Emma coughed all night. Got no sleep. I brought her into bed with us at 6am. She threw up, and we gave her tylenol.

She has coughed maybe twice in the past 2 hours. What's up with that??

She's also all perky and chatty!!

Kids.

No sleep zone

By 6pm last night Scott and I were concerned. After we'd all been outside for an hour (I'm so versatile!) playing, we came in for dinner and Emma started coughing. She didn't stop and hasn't stopped.

We called our doctor around 6.30pm and he agreed it sounded like croup. Toby probably had it too, but is already doing much better. We started Emma on the same treatments which help marginally for a short time.

I went out for a few hours and Scott put her to bed. When I came home she seemed drowsy but not sleeping - no surprise there. We went to bed when the nurse came, but I got up at 3am after listening to Emma coughing and crying through the night.

She was so pleased to see me and I sat on her bed cradling her. I guess I must've sat on her feeding tube because when I laid her down to vent her, the whole g-tube had come out of her belly. I grabbed a new one and popped it in!

Then I suggested to the nurse we give her a treatment. She set the machine up, handed it to me and I held it for Emma. After a few minutes she mentioned she'd given her one only 2 1/2 hours earlier! Great, now I was worried I'd overdosed her. I figured she would tolerate a higher dose than Toby and I stopped it right away, so hopefully it was not a problem.

After sitting with her for a while, and wishing she had a big bed I could just lay in with her (doh!) I persuaded her I could go back to bed and the nurse would read to her.

After about an hour Toby was up for his early bottle. I waited as long as I could in bed to see if he'd fall back asleep and then realized if I was laying there awake I may as well feed him!

After two thirds of the bottle I noticed a "huge" spider on the wall above his door. My initial thought was of course "SCOTT!!!" but he was sleeping and for some reason gets mad when I scream blue murder in the middle of the night because of an insect/arachnid!! So I quickly (but gently) laid Toby in his crib, where he started to cry, and ran to grab some paper towels - several so in no way could the creature break through and touch me or would I feel it as I crushed it!! (Gotta love phobias)

Unfortunately it dropped to the floor - you can visualize me jumping a mile here!! But it was dead and I picked it up with my paper towel bunch. Phew! I picked Toby up and explained how I'd saved him from the big nasty spider!

He didn't really want the rest of his bottle and was bouncing around on my lap laughing and "talking" (that's babbling for those of you without kids. I didn't realize babies "talk" without actual words when I was pre-motherhood!).

I remembered how I'd been nervous I'd find it tough to bond with a boy, not having had brothers etc. As I looked into his little chubby and incredibly cute face, I realized that it's not about boy or girl, but their personality. We have been blessed with two children with truly incredible personalities and I couldn't love them more.

I'm exhausted, of course, but I have no shortage of energy to sit by my baby's bedside when they need me, to keep doing what needs to be done to care for them. Stopping is not an option. In the same way, my heart is full of love for them and when you have one child you can't imagine how you can find room in there for another, but you don't divide your love, it just doubles...

If you hadn't guessed already, I have a point to make. Our Heavenly Father feels the same way about us. He never tires of us, even our childish ways, but instead loves us with an infinite love that we can not escape. When we are in need, He is with us. When we feel pain He offers us comfort and hope. When we feel like no-one understands us, He knows our every thought, feeling and want.

God is not just there for the times when you "need" Him. He is there for all times and wants to be part of the joy in your life, to celebrate with you when you receive His blessings. He's just waiting for us to cry out to Him and He'll be right there.

True to my word, I got us out of the house today!! Emma was coughing constantly so I figured the fresh air might help. Our destination? Babies 'R' Us.

First I should say that I do not like BRU. If there was a consistent alternative, I would take it. However, for Easter outfits it's a good bet. They also had most things on "sale" - that's such a deceptive term!!

Anyway, we started with a dress for Emma. I saw one I liked with big colored spots on it and headed towards it. As we did I mentioned something about getting her a dress and she said "flowers." I confirmed that she wanted one with flowers!

I held two up and she picked her favorite. Then I grabbed another and she chose between those. And again and again. The dress she picked (I think she picked it - I tried to be impartial, and it wasn't the cheapest!!) has a lilac pattern (no flowers!) and a little shrug to wear over her shoulders (that sold me as I don't have an appropriate cardigan!!). They didn't have a pair of white shoes to go with it, so we'll pick some up, but they will be worn a lot over the spring and summer.

Then on to Toby! Boys have a smaller selection. I drew the line at a $25 linen blazer for a baby, and opted for the shirt + pant + sweater-vest combo! I decided to honor Granddad Bob by selecting a golf logo and argyle knit!

I'll try them on the kids when Scott's home so we can decide if we need to exchange anything!

After we checked out and headed for the door Emma pointed at the Sesame Street ride-on fire engine, as she always does. Since we had no place else to go and she's not feeling good I decided to give her a go on it. What's 50c to make my girl happy?!



I warned her that it was going to move and to hold on, which she did. She loved every second and of course asked to go again when it stopped. I had no more quarters, so I had to say no. I am always very proud when her response is "okay" so being turned down (although I had to say it a couple of times)!

Daily Hope

Perspective causes us to love God more
by Rick Warren

I pray that you may have your roots and foundation in love, so that you, together with all God's people, may have the power to understand how broad and long, how high and deep, is Christ's love. Ephesians 3:17-18 (TEV)

Perspective causes us to love God more. The better we understand the nature and ways of God, the more we love him. Paul prayed "that you may have your roots and foundation in love, so that you, together with all God's people, may have the power to understand how broad and long, how high and deep, is Christ's love." (Ephesians 3:17-18 TEV)

Perspective helps us resist temptation. When we look at a situation from God's viewpoint, we realize the long-term consequences of sin are greater than any short-term pleasure sin might provide. Without perspective we follow our own natural inclinations: "You may think you are on the right road and still end up dead." (Proverbs 14:12 CEV)

Perspective helps us handle trials. When we have God's perspective on life we realize that "... in all things God works for the good of those who love him..." (Romans 8:28) and that "the testing of your faith develops perseverance." (James 1:3).

Perspective was one of the reasons Jesus was able to endure the cross (Hebrews 12:2). He looked past the pain to the joy that was set before him.

While Toby continues to improve, Emma deteriorates!!

Yesterday during therapy Emma was uncooperative, whiny and frustrating. She deliberately threw the ball away from Melissa, several times, laughing each time! When Melissa was showing me some exercises to do with Toby, Emma was climbing all over me for attention.

By the time Scott came home I was exhausted trying to comfort Toby and appease Emma.

Thankfully they were both in bed asleep by 8pm, leaving me to catch up on my ironing!! Actually I didn't mind since I was ironing "new" clothes - ones I had put away in 2008 and never wore last year as I was pregnant. They all fit again, and it's like having new clothes for the spring!!

Back to the kids... Toby was up at 10.30pm so we gave him a nebulizer treatment and then a bottle. The treatment must have really loosened him up as he started coughing and then threw up the whole bottle, all over Scott (tee hee!!). Toby was relieved and then sucked down a whole other bottle to replace it!

He slept until 4am when I gave him a couple more ounces, before waking up for good at 7.30am. He was all smiles both times and seems to enjoy the treatment. The boy is back!

Around 6.30am Emma started coughing alot. I stayed out because I try not to go in until the nurse leaves so she doesn't play us off against each other. However right before she left, the nurse called down to ask if I wanted her to leave Emma coughing. I went upstairs and she stopped immediately. I had thought there was some faking going on!!

After she got up and became "my shadow" again the coughing did continue, only less so. I am fairly certain that she has picked up Toby's cough, which also started as a dry cough. That is not good! I'm not too worried about the sickness itself, I can handle whiny and clingy when there is a reason. I'm more worried about her eating.

The past week she has also been difficult at mealtimes, refusing to eat as much (or at all) as she should. Now that we have dropped another tube feed her eating is a big deal. In fact yesterday she opted for nap over lunch and was asleep by 12.15pm! If she needed to sleep that much then she must be sick.

The weather is warmer and dry today so I am going to try and get us out somewhere, anywhere in the car.

Toby is much more himself and yesterday he was laughing, smiling and happy to be playing with his toys. He's figured out how his hands work now, so he is reaching for things he wants. By bedtime he was almost rolling from his back to his front - almost!! No amount of cheering helped.

Aunt Julie brought home a nebulizer for us to borrow and help his breathing. We are very thankful since it would cost us a lot to rent one.

I had a headache by the time Scott got home so he took charge of the kids and sent me out for some "me time" - grocery shopping!! Hey, take the break when you can I say!! He had dinner ready when I got back and after we gave the kids a bath I was going to bed early.

Then the phone call came - we weren't going to have a nurse for the night. We're not sure if a nurse called out or one was even scheduled - I'll be asking more questions today!! Anyway, it was not welcome news.

I went to bed at 9pm for a couple of hours, and took over the kids at 11.30pm. Toby didn't wake up to eat until 1am, when I gave him a bottle and nebulizer treatment. He was up again around 5am for the rest of the bottle. He finally got up at 7am.

As for Emma, well she started out good, but I must have gone in there about 5 times. Even without the CPAP on she was fussing. A couple of times she called out but was a sleep when I went in, so she must've been dreaming! Other times she complained her belly hurt, and as she has formula continuously pumped in through the night it was likely gas. She was up at 6.30am.

I felt really guilty when she did finally wake up because somewhere toward the end of the night she had thrown up and it was all in her hair. I gave her a quick bath to wash her hair.

Since the MMR has been ruled out for causing this change in behavior, and I am in denial that she might be becoming a terrible toddler(!) I am assuming she is tired and may also still have some earache. More importantly - it will pass!!!?

Elusive sleep, when will you be mine???!!

Two sick kids and no sleep!!

That's a summary of the past week!

It all kicked off on Tuesday when Toby spiked a temperature of 100.9f, a low-grade fever. His cheeks were bright red and he was hot. since he has been chewing on his arm for a few weeks we put it down to teething.

Over the course of the week a cough developed which by the weekend had him screaming every time he coughed. It doesn't seem to be croup (which is contagious, anyone who thinks it isn't!!) but sure is congested.

On Saturday night Scott and I tried to watch a DVD (My Life As A House - obscure, but really a great movie). It took us about 5 hours total as we had to keep pausing to deal with Toby. We tag-teamed through the night in holding him as he would not sleep unless we held him. He was also hardly taking any milk, so we'd diluted it to stop it adding to the congestion.

I do not want to take the kids to church when they might be sick, it's not fair to other kids for a start, however when we are both serving there is no alternative! This week Scott stayed home until close to the end of the first service, which was when he was needed, so at least they got extra rest and weren't disrupting things.

For the second service I had the kids out in the lobby, away from other kids and somewhere Emma could run around. In hindsight I could have brought them home, but I wanted to stay in case I was needed again. Besides, our friend Erika was only to happy to hold Toby the whole time!

We finally spoke to the doctor on Sunday afternoon, and of course he improved somewhat last night. He was asleep on Scott at 6.30pm, put to bed right away with an humidifier, and the window open - he falls asleep fast outside!! He woke up at 9pm after I screamed outside his room (I swear something dropped on me as I opened the door to check on him!) He took 5/6oz milk and went back to sleep.

I got up at 1am and 4am to give him 3 oz before he went back to sleep. At 6am he took 6oz and slept until 9am.

He's definitely smiling more than he was last week, but is still not the happy boy we know.

As for Emma, who knows whats up with her!! The past few days she's been so clingy to me, flipping out when I went out for a few minutes, even though she was home with Daddy. At church she did the same thing so we couldn't leave her in the nursery. (Note: I would normally recommend parents just leave their kid there anyway, but Emma just doesn't act like that, so something is going on.)

Last night was the first night she got into a deep sleep - we can tell from her heart rate!! She was getting up an hour earlier last week as the nurse could only stay until 6am and Emma wants to get up when she sees no-one in her room! Hopefully getting them to stay until 7am again will help.

Also she's been sweating in her sleep, on her head. This is a big sign of apnea and we don't see it often anymore. However there are no other signs of sickness, so I am attributing it all to the MMR vaccine she got 2 weeks ago - apparently it can leave them feeling crappy for a while after.

As you can imagine, with very little sleep and kids both cranky and clingy (there is only one of me!!!) I'm having trouble getting going today. And after the great weather of last week (sunny in the 70s!) it's gray and rainy today. If ever there was a day to stay in PJs, this is it!!

Roll on summer!!