No news is good news

at least for now! The status quo has been maintained, which really is great news.

They would expect her to be growth restricted by now, but she's been keeping up with other babies! (We simply can't assume that this is a competitive streak she may have inherited from one or both parents!)

Her practice breathing is very good (babies inhale the amniotic fluid and then pee it out!). Isn't it wonderful that they practice this most important skill in advance!

Her movement is also good, in that she is clearly happy (sick babies, like sick adults don't move much!) And apparently I don't even feel it all. When I was on the monitor yesterday she kept moving, and moving and moving! Great? Not when you can't get a base heart rate when the baby is still! It took a little longer than normal, but once the cookies and milkshake I'd just eaten had worn off, she slowed down!! (Until the ultrasound technician tried to see the bowel, then she was off again!)

As for me (Debra!), I am well. My ankles, which until now have been 3-4 times their normal size (no joke, ask Scott) have actually deflated to a relatively normal size, most likely due to all the laying around Im doing on maternity leave! This is day 3, and though grateful that i do not have to work up to the day of delivery, this seems somewhat of an anti-climax!

For the past 10 or more weeks we have prepared ourselves for an early arrival. I wasn't even sure I'd make it to the maternity leave start date! Yet now, at 36wks and 6 days the baby seems content to stay put!

Pregnancy in itself is possibly the most challenging time for patience, and the last weeks especially because you feel like the baby must be ready to come out, they can't possibly get any bigger! However, most first time pregnancies run late, and you can somewhat expect that. To be told it will end early and then not, is much the same thing!

She will come early, as they'll induce before 39 weeks (I hope!), but not the 32 weeks we had feared!! Emma may make an even earlier arrival naturally, which would be desirable and less stressful for her, so let's keep praying she does that.

I do hope that this enormous exercise in patience has lasting results! It would be a shame to not gain anything from the practice. The social worker did tell me that I will need patience more than anything while Emma is in the hospital, so I am praying that God will give me all I need - I'm really not good at being patient by myself!!

Hanging on!

Gestational age: 36 weeks and 1 day
Conditions for labor: 50% effaced, 0% dilated
Looking forward to a week of rest: 100%

That's right, it doesn't look like there'll be any baby announcements in the next few days. That's okay though, I could use a week to catch up on sleep and get the house straight before 'baby bedlam'!

Things are starting to progress, but are moving slowly. The key sign will be "lightning", when Emma's head drops into place in my pelvis and I don't feel like I have a belt tight tightly around my ribs!!

Today was also my last day at work, for 5 months! Someone asked me the last time I was off for that long. I can honestly say it must have been before I started school!! Which does make you wonder how it will be, being off for so long, but no doubt I will be kept busy!

Stay tuned for more updates of the journey into the unknown!!

Med-update!

Today we are at 35 weeks and 5 days! I can't believe we're here already, but then time flies when you have plenty to think about!!

Emma is doing well, her heart looks good, lung function good, movement o'plenty(!) and the bowel loops continue to look okay.

The doctors/nurses all seem to have slightly different opinions on her arrival schedule! Some expect her to arrive spontaneously by 37 weeks (which is considered full-term), others think she may hang on longer, depending on how slow my body is on realizing she's ready to come out (this is typically slow for first-timers, hence the lateness of most first babies).

As an alternative they have suggested they will induce me at 38 weeks, if conditions are favorable (effaced and dilated).

On Friday we'll have the first internal exam to check out my 'readiness'! Please pray that my cervix would begin to efface! It will take some time once it starts, so we want to get it going!

We also need to keep praying that I can deliver her without a c-section - then I won't have such a tough recovery!

The surgical team will be alerted when I go into labor and be right there in the delivery room with us! They'll take her to get settled and most likely she'll be laid up for at least a week.

The social worker said today that the toughest part of this (especially for a control nut like me) will be the slow pace of her progress in feeding and getting to the stage where she can eat orally, and eventually come home.

However some GREAT news is that she qualifies for medicare for about a year, so all medical expenses for her will be totally covered! This is a huge relief because you just don't know wha to expect.

Thanks for praying with us and believing God for the care of this special little girl.

Baby Shower!

Last week I had two baby showers! For those of you not familiar with this custom (namely Brits), a baby shower is party to celebrate a new baby. Customarily held before the birth, and often just women who go. The guests generously bring gifts and wisdom to lavish on the baby. If you're really blessed, you have a great time AND much less to buy for the new arrival!

On Wednesday my office had a surprise shower under the guise of a meeting! We had coffee and donuts, while I opened the wonderful gifts of clothes, books and toys (all for the baby!). It was so nice and really got me excited (and anxious) to prepare the nursery.

Then on Saturday a church meeting turned out to be another baby shower, thrown by my family and friends! There were 30 women in a room for 2 hours with food, cake and gifts! It was alot of fun!! I was so pleased that some of my friends could come that I don't normally see very often (you know who you are!!). I was in quite a daze to catch up with everyone!

Importantly my team won the baby pictionary - without cheating!! (I still don't think "baby blues" can be drawn though!!)

Scott and I are so blessed to have so many wonderful friends and family who gave us everything from diapers (nappies!) to swings, clothes and books! We now have a full shelf of books for Emma to chew, throw, read and love! (Plus I'm sure the other children who come to visit will be glad of the new books! They've been reading Millie Moo for over a year!!)

This pregnancy has been full of so much joy and also tears! When Emma does finally arrive she will truly be a miracle, who taught us how to hope, trust, love and wait. What a special little girl.

Rude Awakening

Today turned out to be much harder than I expected! What is it the Bible says – “Be self-controlled and alert. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour.” (1 Peter 5:8) Well today he seized his opportunity!

With Scott out of town at a conference I came home to an empty house and the enemy prowled around stirring up fear in me.

The appointment today was routine, Emma was moving around, actually making it difficult for my nurse to watch her lungs! She also showed us that she has a head of hair, so I look forward to seeing that. She moved plenty on the monitor and everything looks fine.

There is no sign of labor so far, so clearly she is content in there, which allows her to gain some more weight.

So what was I anxious about? Something Sue the nurse said in passing about the increased risk of babies with Gastroschisis being stillborn. Now let me clarify this – I have read that on every web page I found, yet somehow over the past weeks I have overlooked it.

I’m not sure if the risk is increased by 5% or 5% of babies like Emma are stillborn, but either way, I felt like I took a body blow.

I am now 35 weeks, and we expect her in 2-3 weeks. To think, even just allow the thought to surface, that she might not make it has been something I have not allowed myself to think for some time. Why? Because I have a very real hope that she will come out and we will [only] have to deal with the gastroschisis.

Anyway, I have been asking God to strengthen my hope and diminish the noise the devil is making, trying to rob me of my joy and anticipation. I’m thankful that I know where the fear is coming from and I know who can help me through it – He’s done it through the whole pregnancy!

We are not out of the woods yet, but I can see a clearing through the trees! Thanks God.

Good or bad

One of the thoughts that came to mind 3 months ago was "why do bad things happen to good people?" since that time I have come to a number of conclusions, and if you have thought about the same you may have your own. I thought it would be worthwhile sharing mine in case they resonate with you!

Firstly, there is a flaw in the question! To put ourselves in the "good" category presumes that we are in some way better than other people, and "good". Well, I'm sure there are plenty of reasons to disagree with that, one being that "all have fallen short" of God's perfect standard, and therefore none of us are actually good! The bible says only God is good.

I believe that it is by my faith in Jesus that I am then considered "good" by god, redemption by association (or faith) if you will! But that's beside the point!

If none of us are good there is a tendency to see such trials as punishment, which is not biblical! In fact the Bible encourages us to welcome trials as they are the "lessons" by which God matures and grows us into the character he intended for us to be, and will be in eternity. Whether you are Christian or not, God is at work in this way in our lives.

So, based on that, what have I "learned" from the past few months? Probably more than I even realize right now, but just these few things [below] are enough to me to make me, dare I say it, thankful for what is happening!

I'm sure parents will agree with me when I say finding out your child is sick is remarkably hard, especially for control-freaks like me! You realize there is a problem you can't fix and must release control to someone who can. In our case, yes, the hospital has been a trusted choice for this. But more so, I have been leaving Emma in the hands of her creator - after all, who can fix something better than the one who designed and made it!

I see the need for the hospitals assistance as a call to meet new people and share our hope with them.

This realization of my total dependence on God for everything is a basic concept that really has helped me through this - I don't have to fix it, I am not in control! Phew!!

What else, well Scott and I have been drawn closer to each other, as well as God. Something like this can either isolate you or create a bond of strength and support. Thank God it has been the latter! I could not ask for a better partner to walk through this with.

Patience and perserverance! If someone tells you that your baby needs surgery, but you will need to wait about 20 weeks for it you MUST develop patience. Lets face it, we all need more of that, and I'll confess I've always been a little on the low side!! (Of course many women will likely tell you pregnancy itself is an exercise in patience and perseverance!!)

Encouragement has been important. Not so much for us, but those we love and care about! We have been in the hands of great doctors who give us much encouragement and hope. We have been trying to pass that on to those worried about us. It's not easy! Each of us finds encouragement in a different way. What is clear is that we can help each other to be positive, or we can discourage each other! One is active, the other passive! (Go on, take a guess)

Hope! Emma's middle name, for this reason! Without hope we lose the will to press on. Do we hope that she will be miraculously healed before birth, you betcha! Do we hope that if she isn't totally healed the doctors will be able to take care of her and restore her, of course! But more than that we believe these things are possible.

We hope that out of everything, our experience will help others to view trials differently. This world is not an easy place to live and we must fight for our lives. Seeing trouble and difficulty in a new light, one of opportunity for growth and new direction.

We are all equally good or bad, all imperfect! Nothing we do can change that, however why we fight on and where we place our hope will change who we become in the future. Hopefully this also makes some sense as to why I put my faith and hope in Jesus - to receive the cover of his goodness (perfection) and to seek more of his character in myself, because who I am (not what) is how I will spend eternity!

This posting comes to you at 3am after a particularly disruptive bout of heartburn!! Any extreme honesty and "deepness" is therefore perfectly acceptable!!

Blessings,

Deb

Yeah baby!

34 week check-up and all is well!

Emma continues to grow on schedule and is making all the right movements. Her heart rate continues to function properly and she is "breathing".

Recently I was told they would induce me at 38 weeks, which is a good time and allows them to schedule delivery at a time when the surgery can be carried out right after. However, they may not do that if I am not dilated or effaced! So she really could be in there until her due date of November 22!

My maternity leave is scheduled to begin October 27 and that will stand. It is becoming increasingly difficult to be comfortable at a desk and with the weather turning colder (finally) I'll have to wear shoes to work. ("What?" I hear you cry! well, my feet and ankles store water like a camel's hump, so while my shoe size is the same, the girth of my feet has grown! My shoes get uncomfortable pretty quick!)

I am pleased to say the kitchen will become functional once more this week (we gutted it and put in a new one). It's been a long 6/7 weeks, but is worth it! We should have plenty of time to finish all the other DIY tasks that remain before we have a baby to contend with (for now!).

Please keep praying for Emma. We still believe that God can heal her completely before birth, and if not, we are hoping her hospitalization will be short. We know there are often people that God wants to bring us into contact with to share the Good News, and so we trust in his purposes for whatever time we spend at CHoP!

Just breathe!!

After many years of watching TV and movies featuring the amusing classes of birth preparation, last night Scott and I actually went to one! We were a little late, but what's new (and we weren't the last!).

The instructor started with the basics: changes in the mothers body, with a diagram of how the baby smooshes all her other organs! and then what actually happens when the mother goes into labor. I have to say I'd read all of this online, seen the TV shows etc, but felt it was a good chance to remind Scott just how uncomfortable I am!!! (I am also convinced I was the only one there with grossly swollen ankles!)

Following a brief "go around the room and introduce yourselves" we got down on the floor! Lights out, spread out your blanket and get your pillows! Kay, our instructor, said we could sit how we wanted and named a few positions. While most other couples were hesitant and sat side by side or cross-legged, I instantly leaned back on Scott, stretched out my legs and took my shoes off!! (I felt that this was appropriate given my vast research of media!)

It wasn't long before the others kind of followed suit. The purpose? To learn relaxation for use during the early stages of labor. "Close your eyes and think of your most relaxing place." I was already relaxed, but then she suggested the dads could rub the mothers back or arms - well, I could've fallen asleep right there, slowly drifting off to pan-pipes!!

So we didn't learn a whole lot we didn't know, but as far as I'm concerned, a class that instructs your husband to give you a back rub on demand is worth far more than $70!!!

Next week: breathing!! He-he, haw-haw!!

Stubborn-ness? From where?

Our precious daughter is apparently camera shy! At every ultrasound (I've lost count now) we have tried to get a new picture of her but she insists on being face down every time!

At the appointment on October 5 she was doing acrobatics during the non-stress test, where a monitor is trapped to my belly to track her heartbeat. She wouldn't stay still, which is a good thing, but the monitor kept losing her!! Clearly the chocolate raisins before hand brought on a sugar rush!!

At the next Friday appointment (10/12) they will take her growth measurements again, so we can make sure she's still growing.

I have 18 days left to go before maternity leave, and it couldn't come soon enough! The desk job does not help my constantly swollen ankles at all.

Nursery

I have hyped it up somewhat, so here are the pictures of what I think is the coolest nursery ever!! Hopefully Emma likes it as I'd hate to have to paint over it!!

Our friend George came over and did the stripes for us - what a blessing!! The same guy that did our floors when we moved in.

It's really a great way to get some pattern and colour in the room without the usual 'baby' patterns! Of course, with the accessories it will be much more kid friendly!!

Deb

Power of Prayer

What a day on Friday! First, Scott's truck died when he was picking me up to go to the hospital - I caught a cab and he stayed behind to wait for the repairman! (In the end he got to speak to a homeless 17 year-old about the Lord, so we know what the purpose was behind that!)

Secondly I left my phone in his truck, so I was stressing out!!

Anyway, the appointment went very well and it was alot of fun! Sounds odd but the people in the Fetal Diagnosis and Treatment Ctr at CHoP are wonderful and we had some funny laughs.

Clearly all is well with Emma! She is still growing on schedule and the bowel loops are still free and looking good! (That's important). We had our first biophysical profile - I had two monitors strapped to my belly tracking her heart rate and any contractions. The heart rate should change when she moves, and it was - she moves ALOT so the test was over in 15 minutes!! Hopefully she's so cooperative every time!

I'm now 32 weeks (and 4 days). They said if there are no problems before they'll induce me at 38 weeks, which would be Nov 8/9! That's less than 6 weeks!

Thanks for all your prayers - we know that God is in control and he hears each one.

love

Debra and Scott