Emma will start a new school in September, for grades 2-5.  It's the same school that Scott went to when he was little!  Today I went for a tour, and besides being an old building (with no air conditioning, gulp) it was ok.  There is a courtyard in the middle of the school though, and it was pretty cool - it's the "ecology center".  And theses guys live there 

What a perfect day to enjoy the "unofficial start of summer"!  The water was fairly chilly, but it got hotter as the afternoon went on, so it was good!!

Sleepover

Emma went on her first non-family sleepover this evening... And is now home!

I remember my first sleepover, and how I cried and wanted to come home before bedtime, and the anxiety that caused.  So I made sure that Emma knew if she wanted to come home, she could.  I think it might have been a little overwhelming because there were 4 girls total.  She's going to go back and hang out in the morning though.  And when I brought her home, Scott took her out for ice-cream!  

I'm sure it doesn't help that we have never both left the kids for more than one night - I only left for two nights when I was in hospital having Toby, and Scott was home with her then!  That's right, in 7 1/2 years, we've never had a vacation without the kids!  But, I'm not really trying to, I think I'd miss them.  The odd night here and there, courtesy of Scott's parents, is great.

We also have a great bedtime routine of snuggling, praying and singing them to sleep (or almost asleep).  In fact, I can usually sing the two verses and chorus and they're asleep!  We didn't have to do that with Toby tonight though - he crawled on to Scott's lap about 7:30 and next thing we knew...

So, sleepovers will wait for a little bit, or we'll have a friend over here to stay first.

Summer fun

This weekend marks the unofficial start of summer, and the opening of the local pools!  Our pool (where we spent 95% of our free time last summer) opens Saturday and we are sooooo excited!  They renovated the whole place this past winter so it's all new.  

We don't have any vacation plans this year, and Scott won't be doing any side work, so I expect that if we aren't sleeping, at church or working, this is where we will be!

Toby had his last day of pre-school today.  Quite the change in attitude from day 1...

September 2014

May 2015

Yes, he's excited to finish school, but he's also made some great friends, and hopefully we will see many of them at the pool this summer!

Who, what, why, where and when?

I am increasingly asked about my faith - what I believe, and why.  It's hard to explain in a message or even in person for me (because I go off on tangents!  No, really!). I thought this would be a good forum to put my thoughts out.  So, here goes...

The Bible declares that God ("the Father")has a standard holiness against which will all be judged. His standard includes our actions, but also attitudes, our heart is really the issue he's trying to get to.

The penalty for not meeting God's standard is eternal separation from Him.  As the Bible states, this world will pass away, leaving only Heaven (with God) and hell (eternal torment).  We will all be in one or the other.

But my God, the God of the Bible, is compassionate, loving and merciful.  He does not strike us down with the first sin (many of us wouldn't have made it to adolescence!). Rather, he says that he will wait, for as long as we live, before he will judge us for our sin.  (Unfortunately we may still experience the negative consequences of our sin, or someone else's, but it's not actually "punishment from God.  Often the consequences are punishment enough in the short term.)

Once we sin, what can we do to make it better, atone for our sin?  Well, pretty much nothing!  The Old Testament details an extensive list of rituals and sacrifices of blemish free animals, but I know there's no chance I could keep that perfectly.  I can't even balance a checkbook every month!!

And this merciful, loving God (who, by the way created us for relationship with him, for love) knows that we can't keep the laws perfectly.  So he made another way.  One so simple, so easy, but so painful for him.

He sent his son, who though he was fully God, allowed himself to be subjected to the same (and worse) temptations and trials that we all are, and because of his heart for us and knowing without doubt what his obedience (or disobedience) would mean for us he was able to endure it all, to the point of a brutal, humiliating death.

This is where it gets really "spiritual"!  Because Jesus had not fallen short of God's standard, he was not sentenced to the eternal separation in hell that we are.  So he came back!  And then he returned to heaven, fully alive, to be seated at the right hand (the seat of power) of God's throne.  The Bible also tells us he is there to intercede for those who follow him - he stands up for us with God, asking for more mercy and grace on us.

Since we have all sinned and face this eternal death, Jesus is the deciding factor of our eternity.  If we fully accept our guilt for sin, and simply ask Jesus to forgive our sins, he is quick to cover our sin, our guilt, with his holiness, so that when we finally do die, we will be judged as if we lived Christ's perfect life, and not the messy, dirty life we actually had.

When Jesus forgives, he forgives our past, but also our future.  He knows we are not LITERALLY made perfect in this life (that's right, Christians sin - but you knew that!), and his forgiveness covers our future mistakes.  It's not good works, charity or even penance that increase God's favor - the Bible is clear, we are forgiven because God is good and loving and merciful.  He is just waiting to be asked.  No sin too great, no person too small to be forgiven.

So why do Christians even try to be "good" if our salvation is based completely on grace?  The apostle Paul answers this perfectly:

What shall we say, then? Shall we go on sinning so that grace may increase? By no means! We are those who have died to sin; how can we live in it any longer?

What benefit did you reap at that time from the things you are now ashamed of? Those things result in death! But now that you have been set free from sin and have become slaves of God, the benefit you reap leads to holiness, and the result is eternal life. For the wages of sin is death, but the gift of God is eternal life in Christ Jesus our Lord. (Romans 6:1-2, 21-23 NIV)

I believe this to be true.  I have read the testimonies in the Bible, I have heard the testimonies of people I know and respect greatly.  But I have experienced the transforming power of taking the step of faith, to put your hope and future in God's hands, to trust him enough to do the right thing even when it's hard and I am so thankful that I want to use the rest of my life to serve him and please him - which thankfully includes having a family and meeting awesome people!

Grad

Toby did so great at graduation this year - he walked down the aisle by himself (albeit sombre and quickly!).  He declined to sing or make hand motions for the eight songs, preferring to vigorously wipe his mouth/nose with his sleeve!!

However, I don't care.  I'm just excited that he is ready to move on up into kindergarten.  He knows his alphabet, numbers and is starting to read sight words.  (If this is not as great as I think, don't tell me - I have a hard enough time not comparing him to Emma, even though she is two years ahead of him.)  

Check out this sweet, handsome boy on his special day...

A penny for those thoughts!

We got special dispensation to take some pictures ahead of time since they double-booked the graduation with the spring concerts at Emma's school!  

No - he wasn't pushing my hands off!

Standing next to Owen, Toby looks so little, but he's actually one of the taller kids!  

Getting his "diploma" from his teacher

Outside with his good buddy Kaylee!  (we took them both out for lunch afterward!)

Pops, Aunt Kim and cousins Sophia and Josiah were there to cheer him on too!

Here are his school pictures from this year too...

(I don't know what the photographer said to get this interesting smile!)

Busy day for us!!

First, Toby has his graduation ceremony from pre-school.  It's a little silly, but to him it's a big deal to move up and start big school.

Then emma has her spring concert, which will be the first one Scott has been able to attend!

So proud of these kids!  Just because.

I guess with age comes refinement!

11 years an two kids later we still make a cute couple!  

Last Monday Emma had this

Fitted to her lower teeth. Like this:

Except hers is removable for washing and when she eats.  (Most kids get it glued in, but the orthodontist felt she would cooperate with replacing it, which she does!

She was very brave, likely unaware of what was actually happening.

 But she did go to the nurse a few times at school to try and get her to take it out!  It didn't hurt, it's just taking up precious space in her little mouth.  It took her a few minutes to figure out how to speak but she got over that very quickly.  Unfortunately she can not eat a thing with it in, but that is helping me restrict her over-eating!  At school the nurse removes it before lunch and puts it back in, but at home she can put it in by herself!

She's due to get a palate expander across the top in a few months which will make it even harder.  Not sure how to feel about that.  

I realised that day just how used I have become to not really needing any intervention for Emma.  I got comfortable where we were at, and have been since her gtube came out and she started kindergarten.  Now we are back to speech therapy, we have orthodontics that will be a regular thing for about a year at least.  Trying to balance that with all the usual family demands is a challenge.  

I'm glad the summer is just 5 weeks away, when we have no sports, no school, no homework and plenty of sun and time at the pool!  The calm before the storm since Toby enters the school system in September!  

Mean mom

At Emma's recent foray into cheerleading there was a little girl with Down's who came out with the younger group.  I think I heard an audible "awww" from the crowd, including myself.  Quite patronising really - look at the special needs girl trying to be like all the others.

As the performance got underway she sat down on the ground and played with her Pom-poms.  I saw her mom, off to the side, quite adamantly mouthing and gesturing for her to get up and participate.  At the time I thought she might be a little harsh - patronising and judgemental, nice!

But tonight, on the sidelines at Emma's gymnastics class, I found myself in sync with the other mom.  All the girls were trying cartwheels, which emma is not good at, and nor am I!  She gave great effort to set up the cartwheel according to instructions, but would basically drop to the ground once her hands were down.  I was audibly frustrated and could be heard saying "try harder", "you're not even trying to get your legs up."

And so I find myself wondering if the moms sat near me, who don't know us, were doing the same thing I had.  I wonder if they look at emma, the rotund little girl who doesn't run nearly as fast as the others, and clearly has something different about her, and think "yay for trying!"

Now I am proud of emma for trying - not because she has Moebius Syndrome and should be discounted from such activities (that's rubbish), but I'm proud of her because she is doing something she loves and is persevering even though she is not very good at it, yet.  Even I find it tempting to quit because progress is slow, and maybe I feel self-conscious for her.

Maybe I'm tougher on her because I see her potential, I see her ability and I want so hard for her to succeed at her dreams and goals.  And maybe I look like a meanie to other moms!

It's funny to think that in the picture on the left i weighed more than emma and me combined in the picture from Sunday!

Of course I lost a lot in the years since then, but it has been a battle to keep it down.  I'm loving weight watchers and would encourage anyone who struggles to do it alone to try the support group and accountability it provides.  Who knows, maybe I'll become a leader and help others on the program!

Huge thanks today to my amazing husband who always makes sure that I know how loved and valued I am, and makes sure the kids know too!  He helped them make me breakfast in bed before church - nutella croissants!!

Happy Mother Today

At times, being a mother has felt like the hardest, scariest and most responsible role in the world. There are challenges I could never have anticipated, and many, many moments when I wondered what God was thinking choosing me to do it. 

BUT I am so very glad He did!

 

 2011 > 2015

Thanks Mum!  I can't believe I was an easy kid to raise, but you did a stellar job if I do say so myself!! ;)  With each passing day I understand just how hard it is to be all things to all people, and to do it while holding down a full-time job to boot is impossible!

Family fun

Today is Mother's Day (U.S.).  This is one of my favorite days as Scott is great at making sure I can enjoy time with the family rather than stressing over things that have to be done.  We got ahead of the game last night by having dinner outside, "a picnic"!  The kids loved it and we got to enjoy the early summer weather we've been having.