Party prep is on full power with under three days to go!  Tonight I copied a printed picture of Olaf from 10" to 4'!

And since Emma didn't want him cut out, I gave him a home!

The nose is orange paper.  There are 13, one for each girl to pin on him!

Do you believe?

This evening Emma asked me if I always believed in Jesus.  We had been talking about whether I had had the same bedtime routine as she does - prayer and song.  I had to think carefully before I answered.

Growing up in a Christian country, where our school was officially Church of England lead, we heard about Jesus.  We re-enacted the nativity every Christmas (I was the narrator at least once, probably because I didn't need a mic!), we had Carol services and I was even in the school performance of Joseph and his Technicolor Dream Coat (for some Old Testament reference!).

I was taught that Jesus was the Son of God and that he died on a cross.  Beyond that it's tough to separate what I knew then from what I have learned since. 

But, I didn't realise that the reason Jesus showed up in the manger, and was required to die as a criminal, despite no crime (spiritual or legal), was because of me.  And you. And everyone else from Adam to Zaccheus!  Sure, when Eve, then Adam, disobeyed God and ate the apple they called down a curse upon themselves, but we inherited that curse.

What curse?  Death, and separation from God.  Prior to that the plan was to live in the Garden of Eden with God himself.  But the disobedience (sin) was not something our holy God can live with, and we were cast out of the garden, and cursed to face eternal separation.

Despite this, God still loved the people he created (to love) and had relationship with those who showed faith and trust in him.  One of them, Enoch, had so much faith that he was taken up to heaven without having to die first!  

And there was Abraham who trusted God enough to leave his family and follow God on the promise that his family would inherit the promised land and he would be the father of many nations.  He messed up a lot!  Did things that showed his flaws, but God saw his heart, which was to follow God - even when he was still childless in old age. God always honours his promises (or covenants, to use a churchy word!) and Abraham's lineage went on to cover the world.

Eventually, the special nation set apart as God's own, Israel, were on their way to a land of their own after years in slavery.  God revealed Ten Commandments for them, a law, his standard of holiness.  It was not designed to be a rule list, God already knew that no person could keep the law perfectly.  It was given as a mirror for us to reflect on our own lawlessness, how we had failed to be worthy of God.  And to draw us to a place of humility and surrender, falling at God's feet and asking for mercy and forgiveness.

Even though it is in God's heart to give mercy, he is perfectly just (despite what people often claim) and there was still the *small* matter of our sin debt to be settled.  Remember, the consequence of sin is death.  All sin - there is no degrees of sin, and no way to make up for it by being really good the rest of the time.

Knowing that we were powerless to pay our debt ("atone for our sin" is the churchy phrase) God made a way himself.  Jesus arrived, having been in existence before time began, he stooped down with full disclosure of what he was getting in to, and came as a baby, in the most degrading way, especially for one who belongs on the throne of heaven.  

Jesus lived the perfectly sinless life, not in secret, but in full display that we might understand the personality of God, the kind of life he desires for us.  He came with all authority of God, to forgive people of their sins.  He did not come to condemn anyone for their sin, but to show them the way to be cleared of their sin - but it requires that we acknowledge our rebellion against God, in heart, words and action.

And then Jesus was wrongly convicted and put to death (remember, death is only required for those who have sinned).  Since he was not deserving of death, he overcame it to be resurrected, returned to life.  When he came back he let people know that they too could overcome eternal death, by following him.

Jesus already died for your sin - that gift has been given.  In order to accept the gift, you must first believe that there is a gift.  That requires acknowledging God has all authority to judge you, and you have fallen short of his standard (hint: we all have.)  Then, believing that he loves you and sent his son to die in your place, so you would not have to spend eternity separated from him (hell).

So, I never believed IN him, until I believed my need for him and his ability to save me.  I always believed what I knew about Jesus, but I never understood that I needed him.  I never understood that he loved me and had a better way for me.  I never understood that he died for MY sins, ALL my sins.

If Jesus died in your place, so that you could escape that penalty, how will you respond?  It was my choice that I lay down my life (desires, decisions, plans) at his feet and ask him to be my Lord, not just my Savior.  He has replaced many of my desires, actions, flaws, with himself.  But it's a process and requires a daily decision to lay down my will and give him authority over me (have you heard the line about daily "take up your cross"?  That's this!). Why wait for a new life in heaven, God is working in people here, and now! 

 I will not be perfect this side of heaven, but I have changed.  Sometimes I don't even recognise myself.  God doesn't save you to leave you as you are, he wants you to live up to your potential, of character.

I don't know I would have the courage to follow him if it weren't for Scott, and incredible church family who remind me of the truth when I get caught up in the temptation of sin.  Remember, sin doesn't always look bad, it's merely being independent of God.  

LEGOLand

I finally put together the LEGO my mum brought over from England.  This is just some of the LEGO I played with as a kid, and it had fun putting it back together!  I guess you never grow out of it!  

The kids love it, and refer to it as their "Legotown"!  I guess that will make buying gifts easier.  Toby spent a gift card yesterday on... Batman LEGO!  No town is complete withou superheroes (and I expect a princess or two will show up!)

Hope Lives

This week did not start out well for me. Nothing was different in my life, and I know that I am very blessed. But something wasn't right in me. I was struggling to find joy, and hope.  But I didn't give up, I didn't shake my fist at God and say your way is not working for me, I'm going to try and do this myself. I know better. I know that my way has nothing in comparison to what God has for me. And so in faith, I continued to walk the path that I believe he has led me to, in the hope and belief that things would get better.  And they have.  

I pressed in on seeking God's power over the negativity I was feeling.  I feel restored.

Far too often, we underestimate the power, and importance of hope. Hope is mentioned so much in the Bible, it has to be important. The hope we have in Jesus.

We can rejoice, too, when we run into problems and trials, for we know that they help us develop endurance. And endurance develops strength of character, and character strengthens our confident hope of salvation. And this hope will not lead to disappointment. For we know how dearly God loves us, because he has given us the Holy Spirit to fill our hearts with his love. 

Romans 5:3-5 NLT

But what is hope? Well, have you ever had a really tough week, where you feel like you're going to break under the stress, or pain that you're feeling. But, you know in your heart, that Saturday is coming. For some reason everything will just be better at the weekend. Many of us go through every week like this, maybe that's how you get through every single workweek, knowing that the weekend is coming and it will all be worth it.

But the truth is, that the weekend is not guaranteed at all. You have absolutely no way of knowing for sure that this week will end with a Saturday. You can only go by what has happened previously, what you have experienced in the past and believing the people around you who tell you that it will indeed be Saturday soon. That is hope. It is the expectation of what has been promised.

Faith is the confidence that what we hope for will actually happen; it gives us assurance about things we cannot see.

Hebrews 11:1

So we don't look at the troubles we can see now; rather, we fix our gaze on things that cannot be seen. For the things we see now will soon be gone, but the things we cannot see will last forever.

2 Corinthians 4:18

fixing our eyes on Jesus, the pioneer and perfecter of faith. For the joy set before him he endured the cross, scorning its shame, and sat down at the right hand of the throne of God. 

Hebrews 12:2

When your life feels like a really bad Monday, all the time, you need help. And that is what is found in Jesus Christ. It is the belief that after this life, there is heaven. Belief that I can and will enter heaven, not hell, because Jesus is the son of God and he died for my sins.  I have been redeemed and I will spend eternity in heaven.   

Your situation and circumstances may not change, but your perspective should, so that you can endure your cross, knowing that better things are promised.

Traditions

This morning was interesting. It was the day of Halloween costumes in
Emma's school. Last year we kept her home, rather than have her spend
the 2 1/2 hours of school with kids in costume at a party for
something we don't agree with! We will do that for Toby tomorrow.
But for Emma, keeping her home for a full day would mean missing a
whole day of school, due to a costume parade and party. We would have
done so, but wanted to see what the school could do (without
suggesting that the Halloween thing in schools is an issue in and of
itself.).

The principal of Emma's school is wonderful and she was very
understanding of the situation. She explained that Emma's class would
be arriving in costume and doing their parade in the morning. As an
alternative, Emma would be invited to go to one of the classes that
would have an afternoon parade, and visit her friends. Emma loved
this idea and understands (and agrees) with why we do not participate
in Halloween, so I was very much relieved.

When we arrived at school, later than the rest of first grade, there
were still kindergarten kids coming in with costumes. I was sure Emma
felt sad about that (she told me she would, and she would love to wear
a costume to school), but she did not say a word. In fact she
complemented the teachers (all dressed as hippies) and walked on to
the library, where she was going to have one on one time with the
librarian for a while. Em was really excited about that and said "the
most important thing is I'm not doing Halloween!"

After the parade her class removed their costumes and Emma joined them as usual.

I have had friends question our decision to avoid Halloween on the
basis that it's fun for kids and they don't want them to be left out.
Aside from our deeper reasons for disliking Halloween, this alone
concerns me. Even if parents do not feel comfortable with the
celebration, they join in to avoid being left out. A basic human
nature judgement.

On the contrary, I am thankful for the opportunity to teach our kids
that it is not only important to stand by your convictions, but it is
also not the end of the world. There are going to be many times, as
they get older, that the crowd will be going in a direction that they
should not be going. The temptation to acquiesce to nagging and
whining from the kids to let them join in will be great. But if we
are to lay a foundation on which to build, let it be now, from the
start.

I have to say that neither kid has actually protested the decision!
We have explained our thinking and reasoning and they are in
agreement. Sure, they are just children, but how often do children
accept reason over desire?! We are thankful that they have the
maturity to trust our decision on what is best and may even truly
agree with us. I think it helps that on Halloween night we go out to
a fun place as a family and we have so much space and fun because
there are no other kids in the way!! What a great way to spend the
evening.

I've backed away from detailing our reasons for avoiding Halloween
because I'm not asking anyone to agree or disagree with me. I'm happy
to share if requested, but otherwise I just encourage others to go
with their conscience.

There are many traditions in our culture, some of which have even been
introduced by church organizations. We understand the enjoyment and
fulfilment that being a part of these brings. However, I've also seen
the anxiety and bondage traditions have placed on families - pressure
to continue as has always been done regardless of how the family has
changed. As we try and do with every aspect of our lives (finances,
time, future goals, tv watching etc), we are taking cultural
traditions back to the Bible, and asking God to guide our decisions on
how they do or don't fit in our family.

It's the same with Christmas - we celebrate the birth of Jesus with
our family, and friends. We give gifts, but we have de-emphasized
that part of the holiday in comparison to the culture. Scott and I go
all out for the kids birthday, celebrating them on their special day,
spoiling them and making a huge fuss. But Christmas, the gifts are
fewer, and the focus is on others, not ourselves. The kids do not
make a list (though they will ask for things randomly as they see
commercials!), and they get only a couple of small things in a
stocking.

I try to avoid using the word Santa at all, but out of respect for
others traditions we have not told them the truth on that one! When
the time comes we will, and the issue won't be so big because Santa is
not a part of our family celebration! I'd much rather they get to
kiss and hug the individuals who gave them a gift than put it on a
mythical man!

Not what it seems!

Scott and I lead a men's and women's bible study (respectively), on alternating Tuesdays.  Tonight was Scott's turn to be gone, so I was to put the kids to bed by myself.  I usually do it in two stages: Toby first (he's the youngest and needs more sleep to function in the morning!), that takes about 10 minutes for him to fall asleep after I pray and sing to him.  Then the same with Emma.

Of course, tonight was not going to go as planned!  Emma had got a splinter in her hand this afternoon.  I tried to remove it (and failed) which lead to copious amounts of tears.  So I opted to put them both down at the same time.

After a preliminary snuggle with Emma, and a promise to return, I went in to Toby.  He told me immediately that he did not want me to stay in his room!  I was proud, getting to be such a big boy, but ignored him and went over for a little snuggle. 

He kept asking me to leave, and I was about to when I noticed that his one arm was under the covers.  I realized he had something under there, and sure enough he'd snagged a toy care on the way to bed!  He wanted to get rid of me so he could play.

Ah, the wiles of children.  But I won!!

Strength and weakness

This afternoon Scott went to help a member of our church congregation fix their mailbox (because he's just that nice!).  It's not someone we know well, in fact I'm not even sure what their names are, but it seems they know us, or at least of us!

In the course of conversation the guy said to Scott something like this: "you and your wife are so strong, how do you do it?  We see you in front of the church, and serving all over.  It's so difficult."  This gave Scott a sad smile as he thought about the scene not an hour earlier, at home!

When Scott came home from work the kids were playing and I was just a blob in the couch.  As I tried to express what was up tears came.  No specific reason, just feeling empty, no, make that spent.  Refreshing tears flowed, like waters breaking through a dam.  Sounds poetic, but it was a lot less pretty and more noisy!

Strong!  Me? No!  Isn't it funny how people judge you, good or bad, from a few encounters in one environment - especially the one place you feel strong!  Church is our spiritual home.  When many shy away when they feel weak or hurt, we run to church. 

I've been through a lot the past few years, most of it is not outside the realm of most peoples life, much less difficult than the lot of many!  Has it made me stronger?  I don't think it has.  It has made me wiser.  

My strength is fluctuating.  It is easily depleted and sometimes misguided.  So I have come to rely on the strength of my God.  

But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.  ”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

2 Corinthians 12:9

When I am at me weakest, when I let go of the pursuit of perfection, the attempt to have it all together and fall to my knees in defeat, only then can I really step aside and be renewed with grace.

You see it's not my faith that saved my soul, nor does faith give me strength.  It is grace.  It is the extended grace of God, that he would send his Son to be my substitute, AND that he would place his Holy Spirit to live in this surrendered body of mine, equipping me to face the daily challenges with joy and peace.  To love others more than myself, to serve Him when my natural tendency is to pull back and hoard my time, money, energy and gifts.

So when I stop trying to make it all work, in my way, on my time, for my purpose, God moves in and fills me with the strength to do it his way, in his time, for his purpose, as I was created to do.

There are not two Debra's.  There is me: flawed, petty, selfish, scared and broken.  And there is Him: love, grace, peace, mercy, joy, gentleness and patience, to name but a few character traits.

As I learn to step out of his way, I see the fruit of the spirit in me, in my life and it fuels me.  I so want to be full of strength at all times, and I believe that as I continue to follow Jesus and surrender my will to him that his strength will increase in me.

”Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.

(Just in case this didn't quite come across, I feel so much better now!  Don't want you to worry!)

Soccer pics are in!

National pride

Yesterday Emma brought this book home to read...

It raised the issue of the war of independence (which I knew nothing about until I moved here, of course!).  We explained why the Americans fought the British.

Emma asked "who won?"

I would like to think that it's a coincidence that this morning she selected this outfit...

Mum - please send some Union Jack clothes!!

Emma has math homework every night, and it occurred to me (at IKEA) that this would be helpful!!

Spelling queen!

Emma never ceases to amaze me! Yesterday she came home from school with a word that her writing teacher had shared with her. She spelled the word out to us but it didn't make any sense and we looked it up and it wasn't really a word. She came home today and had asked the teacher to confirm the word the word was metacognition! And she spelled it for us perfectly.  Apparently it means unlocking your mind!

Today she was a really big help when to be decided he wanted to do some homework! So I got out of writing book for him and he was working on his lowercase letters, but not doing so well. I'm always happy to help and it was just so awesome to see them working together.

Work boots

As I looked down at these dirty worn boots again today I chose not to think about how they prevent my kitchen looking like pristine, and instead saw what they stand for (no pun intended).

The wearer of these boots is a hard worker. They aren't 20 years old, probably less than 20 months old, but they are worn day in, day out, up and down flights of stairs in buildings without elevators, carpets or heat and often without windows, yet!

The laces have been replaced more than once, after fraying and snapping from wear! They may be losing the arch support on the inside after bearing the weight of the wearer. But they have not been replaced. The money they contribute to earning goes not on new boots, but is to provide a family with a blessed life, all needs supplied and a great deal of extras.

I often wish I could put these boots away, hide them in a cupboard out of sight. But now I'm thinking they deserve a mantel, for proud display, as large as the wearer is humble!

New phase

Toby has been in school for about 5/6 weeks now.  He usually waits in the hallway with me, glued to my side, while the other kids congregate by the stairs they go up.  I get a firm hug and big kiss when the teacher comes down to get them.

But on Wednesday, everything changed in a moment.  Before I knew what was happening, I was alone, and Toby was with the crowd.

When the teacher came down, he went right up, with only a cursory backward glance when I called "bye Toby!"  It was inevitable, but unexpected, at least for me!

Thursday was the same, so it seems the cord has been cut and my baby is officially a big boy. 

Groovy Baby

Every morning, Toby and I have about a half hour between dropping Emma at school and when he goes in. We've found a few ways to amuse ourselves, but this morning Toby went with something new!

He found a Motown mix CD my dad made for me a few years ago and went to town...

Bob's furniture

A new discount furniture store opened up  in town last week so we went to check it out on Saturday!

It was fun!

They had face painting!

And the kids had a blast with this "automatical" recliner!

We found a great sectional for the basement with a sofa bed in it, so we can have guests!  Now we've gotta save up!!

Wedding #2

This afternoon Scott and I went to a wedding for a couple from church.

(Obligatory picture of us!)

It was quite the unique wedding because the couple are older (50s) and met ballroom dancing.  Most of their guests were dancers so the dance floor was never empty and it was very entertaining.

We sat next to someone who teaches ballroom dancing, so she and her husband gave us a little cha-cha lesson!  So much fun!

Oh, and here's a better look at my outfit! I loved the dress (on sale, even better!) and my hair was crazy easy, but just as well since I had 10 minutes after church before we had to go!!

A sisters love

This is the birthday card that Emma made Toby...

I decided not to correct her "you're" because it was just too sweet!!

5 years old! (From Monday!)

When I look back, this seems like far more than five years ago!

Toby turns 5 today and this little bundle

is now so big!!

He can be a handful at times, but he has such a big heart and even bigger personality!  I've not seen many boys with such extremes of shyness and outgoing when he's comfortable!

Our baby is growing up so fast, becoming a strong, respectful, compassionate and caring young man.  I love this boy with all my heart!

Party Time

Hard to believe my baby boy turns 5 tomorrow, but he does!  We decided to have the party today, the day after the big wedding!  Yes, I'm crazy!!

He wanted a Putt-Putt party (mini-golf), which meant I would not have to lift a finger!  Tempting enough, but the price included a round of golf, a tournament, trophies, pizza or hotdog and drink, an ice-cream cake, 20 tokens for the arcade and a gift cup!  All at less than I usually spend on parties at home.

I'm not a huge fan of location parties, but this place is small and I knew the kids would largely be together!

Our friend Brian and his son Joshua were first to arrive.  I took these too pics separately but how funny the resemblance!!

I don't know if this picture conveys the pure joy on Toby's face when his friend Nicky arrived.  They were in pre-school together last year, would never speak outside the classroom while waiting to go in and haven't seen each other since May.  I expected shyness, but it brought tears to my eyes to see his face!

We'll be arranging some more play dates!!

7 boys and Kaylee!  I was only having boys, but since her dad was coming with her brother and she is Toby's best school buddy, I figured she could tag along!  It worked out because one kid couldn't make it and I was paying a minimum of 8!

Toby got a hole in one, as did a few other kids!

(Just like his father, turns out he doesn't like ice-cream cake much!!)

Kaylee hit the jackpot on one ticket game!  450 tickets!!

After golf we headed to Scott's parents for a little family party and Toby got a real cake!

He is crying here, not because he cut himself the biggest piece of cake EVER, but because Scott had flicked an elastic band and accidentally got Toby with it!!

Tears dried fast and he got down to playing with his gifts!!  More to come tomorrow as I hope to Skype my family as we give him the gifts from them!

More wedding pics!!