My plan worked on Saturday night, at least with Toby! He slept through the night and has been pretty agreeable ever since. I'm also trying to tire him out before bed. He's waking up at 6am of course - you can't have it both ways!!
Emma on the other hand is a fighting me all the way. Saturday night I agreed to let her sleep in a princess costume. I thought this was a great idea. If it's not a costume, she keeps changing her mind about the pajamas she wants to wear.
The details are sketchy since it was the middle of the night, but I know that once I was called in and she just had to change her costume AND pull-up (not wet). For a quiet life I agreed and told her to go back to sleep.
Around 3am I heard our bedroom door open and Emma came in. This has happened only a handful of times but I could have lost my mind when she said she wanted to change her outfit again!
Sunday night was not much better and that was after she did everything possible to avoid sleep.
Last night I got tough with her. She had to wear the same pajamas as the night before. I acquiesced to letting her wear a diaper to bed - she seems to prefer that to a pull-up and I'm not really bothered!
She went to bed at the same time as normal but cried pretty much the entire time until she eventually went to sleep. I really did my best to stay calm - I was proud of myself as I kept cool through the 4 or 5 trips to her room when she was in danger of waking Toby.
At one point, after she calmed down she said "I know - how bout I sleep downstairs for a little bit?" That's the fight now, Emma wants to stay downstairs or sleep in our bed. I calmly told her that I love her very much, but no matter how much she cries she is not sleeping downstairs.
It's our own fault. I don't think we realized the fine line between indulging Emma's creativity and independence, by allowing regular dress-up and agreeing to requests along those lines, and just spoiling her. It started with the food, just being thankful that she would eat anything and giving her whatever she wanted.
Now I'm working to correct the balance by offering limited choices and occasional refusals. It seems all the more crucial now as we look forward.
On Thursday we are going to tour a pre-school for Emma to attend in the fall. She will only be going Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and as she will turn 4 in November, she'll be one of the older kids in the 3 yr old class.
I was excited about the prospect as I know she will love it. Just seeing how much she enjoys Sunday School - she was pretending to be the teacher this week, telling the other kids to sit and listen to the story.
However, Scott brought me crashing down when he shared his fears. I could only agree with him that we want to protect Emma from the cruelty that other kids can show. We simply don't know how it will go.
In my recent experience kids who are a couple of years older notice that Emma has some different characteristics. It's not the paralysis, or even her eyes that draw most attention, but her mouth. Emma top lip is barely there and does not cover her top teeth at all. It's something I discussed with the plastic surgeon in November, but there seems to be nothing they can do to change it.
My hope is that, as it is at church, the kids her own age seem almost oblivious to a difference. Many of them having their own speech issues or just being far too worried about themselves. Clearly this will change as they grow out of that stage and it may be more obvious.
Our other concern is that the pre-school is not in our school district, so the kids she will meet and befriend will not join her when she starts school in a couple of years. We would like to use a local pre-school, but we don't have same references for them. The class she will be in has two teachers for twelve kids, allowing them to have lots of time for each one. We will need them to let us know of any issues.
We are pretty much in agreement that as parents, no matter what, the best we can do is to ensure that Emma knows how much she is loved and valued by us, God and her family and friends. It's a message that all children need to be given by their parents so they don't question their self-worth because of detractors or mistakes.
Emma on the other hand is a fighting me all the way. Saturday night I agreed to let her sleep in a princess costume. I thought this was a great idea. If it's not a costume, she keeps changing her mind about the pajamas she wants to wear.
The details are sketchy since it was the middle of the night, but I know that once I was called in and she just had to change her costume AND pull-up (not wet). For a quiet life I agreed and told her to go back to sleep.
Around 3am I heard our bedroom door open and Emma came in. This has happened only a handful of times but I could have lost my mind when she said she wanted to change her outfit again!
Sunday night was not much better and that was after she did everything possible to avoid sleep.
Last night I got tough with her. She had to wear the same pajamas as the night before. I acquiesced to letting her wear a diaper to bed - she seems to prefer that to a pull-up and I'm not really bothered!
She went to bed at the same time as normal but cried pretty much the entire time until she eventually went to sleep. I really did my best to stay calm - I was proud of myself as I kept cool through the 4 or 5 trips to her room when she was in danger of waking Toby.
At one point, after she calmed down she said "I know - how bout I sleep downstairs for a little bit?" That's the fight now, Emma wants to stay downstairs or sleep in our bed. I calmly told her that I love her very much, but no matter how much she cries she is not sleeping downstairs.
It's our own fault. I don't think we realized the fine line between indulging Emma's creativity and independence, by allowing regular dress-up and agreeing to requests along those lines, and just spoiling her. It started with the food, just being thankful that she would eat anything and giving her whatever she wanted.
Now I'm working to correct the balance by offering limited choices and occasional refusals. It seems all the more crucial now as we look forward.
On Thursday we are going to tour a pre-school for Emma to attend in the fall. She will only be going Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and as she will turn 4 in November, she'll be one of the older kids in the 3 yr old class.
I was excited about the prospect as I know she will love it. Just seeing how much she enjoys Sunday School - she was pretending to be the teacher this week, telling the other kids to sit and listen to the story.
However, Scott brought me crashing down when he shared his fears. I could only agree with him that we want to protect Emma from the cruelty that other kids can show. We simply don't know how it will go.
In my recent experience kids who are a couple of years older notice that Emma has some different characteristics. It's not the paralysis, or even her eyes that draw most attention, but her mouth. Emma top lip is barely there and does not cover her top teeth at all. It's something I discussed with the plastic surgeon in November, but there seems to be nothing they can do to change it.
My hope is that, as it is at church, the kids her own age seem almost oblivious to a difference. Many of them having their own speech issues or just being far too worried about themselves. Clearly this will change as they grow out of that stage and it may be more obvious.
Our other concern is that the pre-school is not in our school district, so the kids she will meet and befriend will not join her when she starts school in a couple of years. We would like to use a local pre-school, but we don't have same references for them. The class she will be in has two teachers for twelve kids, allowing them to have lots of time for each one. We will need them to let us know of any issues.
We are pretty much in agreement that as parents, no matter what, the best we can do is to ensure that Emma knows how much she is loved and valued by us, God and her family and friends. It's a message that all children need to be given by their parents so they don't question their self-worth because of detractors or mistakes.
No comments:
Post a Comment