Studies show...

while it's true that you can pretty much find a "study" that backs up any perspective, it was a source of joy to me today to see this as I perused the internet on my lunch break:

Working Mothers Are Healthier (STUDY)

The article, which did not criticize any mom status, echoes my feeling about working, which is nice, on my first day back after a long break.

The article (found here) said "the working mothers experienced better work-life balance and fewer incidents of depression when their kids were infants and pre-schoolers."

And added "It also may be that mothers who are home with children all day experience greater child-related stress which is relieved to some extent once children are in school,"

I was off work from December 23 until today and it really was a question on whether I would find myself wishing to have the freedom to stay home each day.  

It was nice to wake-up with the kids (literally, one on each side!) and kick around in our PJs for much of the day. But, when it came to running errands or doing chores, I found myself getting stressed and frustrated with the kids.

It wasn't fun for anybody.  They wanted to play with me because I was there, and I was trying to somehow do it all and let them know I love them.  I'm not good at finding that balance, no, I'm terrible at it!  I can not switch of my chore radar long enough to sit down and color or play cars.  (Maybe I'm programmed to work first and chores seem like the primary responsibility for me as "stay-home", when it should be the kids come first.)

Interestingly I felt more guilt about that than I do when I leave them to come to work.  Maybe that's because they have such a great time with Nanna and Pops!  (All week they asked to go and see them, and if they can't they want to call them!)

When I'm at work during the week, I feel less of a burden to get all the chores done because I know that I have been busy earning.  That may sound crazy, but my logic does not always follow conventional wisdom!

In conclusion, for me and my family, it is better for me to work part-time (at a job and company I enjoy) and easier for me to dedicate my free-time to the kids in balance with that. 

Regardless, the kids seem happy and while I will always struggle to leave them, any time, any where, Emma helps me.  She picked up a line from a movie at some point, about never leaving me, or me never leaving.  She'll hug me and tell me "I'll never go away from you."  I hug her back twice as tight and say the same back to her.  She often now adds "but it's okay if you go to work!"

(In case you're wondering, because you know me really well - I do also add that if, for some reason, I was not around, that I will always be with her in her heart, as long as she remembers me.  To which she replies "in my belly?!"