Last night I was goofing around with the kids and my phone. I decided to take a picture of me and Emma, which is easy because the phone I have has a camera on both sides so you can see the picture of yourself. (Handy for self-portraits and in the absence of a mirror!)
In the first instance I said to Emma "big smile", which I always say, and she gave me one of her big beautiful smiles...
You're quite right, I look terrible, so I tried to take another one, and in the meantime Emma did this...
She loves to pull silly faces, but I'm pretty sure that she is not doing that here. I think she is trying to make her smile go up instead of down. Remember the chat we had a while back? Well, given the amount of time she looks in the mirror and that normally she doesn't see the picture as we take it, I think that explains the extra effort to "smile".
Toby, not one to miss out on the action, joined us and Emma worked her smile.
Quite frankly it breaks my heart that she feels compelled to do this (even though it's understandable). I want her to have such a sense of self-confidence in who God made her to be and how special she is, as she is, that she is comfortable to be herself.
Maybe I'm being selfish, because I don't want this feeling of utter helplessness that I get when I think my child is in pain (emotional or physical) and I can't change things. I need to refocus on what I can do...
With incredible timing, this morning I read the following devotional (actually from yesterday!) and this is why I will do everything in my power to ensure that my children (and the rest of us!) get the message that God made us to be loved by him and without being open to receive that love, we will be a slave to our fear of rejection and the unrealistic expectations of others and yourself:
Let God's Love Save You from Fear
by Rick Warren
“Save me from the insults I fear ... I want to obey Your commands ... Show me how much you love me, Lord, and save me according to your promise. Then I can answer those who insult me.”
(Psalm 119:39-42 GNT)
The fear of rejection comes from all directions: your marriage, your family, your parents, at school, at work, from former friends, from disappointments, from criticisms, from a look. Have you ever seen a look kill somebody? Have you ever seen a parent manipulate a kid with an eyebrow?
That’s the fear of rejection! And it can hinder your life in many ways.
The fear of rejection prevents us from giving and receiving love. Past hurts prevent future relationships. A guy says, “I got burned on a hot stove. I’ll never touch it again!” People say that about relationships: “I got burned in a marriage. I’ll never get married again!” The problem is, people are not stoves. They change.
Your fear of rejection is based and rooted in two things. One is the idea that we all need to be loved. That's a fact. We do. We all desperately need massive doses of love in our lives to be healthy individuals.
God says, “I want to love you.” God is love. You need to be loved. That is a deep profound need that you have. But what causes the fear of rejection is the false idea that we think that other people ought to be able to fully meet that need in our lives. When you expect somebody else to meet all your need for love, you're asking for trouble. You're setting yourself up for hurt. You're setting yourself up for rejection.
You have to put God in first place, because he's the only one who can ultimately meet all your needs.
Does God ever use other people? Sure. Does God ever love us through other people? Of course. Does God want us to love others? Yes. Does he want to use us as channels of love? Absolutely.
But, you will never have all your needs met by any person or group of people. God never meant it to be that way. They just don't have enough love. Human love is limited. God's love is unlimited, unconditional. No matter how deep your need is, he can fill it. And he never runs dry.
There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear
has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in
love.
1 John 4:18
The closer we get to knowing who God is and how much he loves us, the less we have to fear and the less we will need to wish we are something we are not.
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