I am on day 6 with no caffeine! I know diet coke is toxic so I'm trying to give it up or at least dramatically reduce it. Apparently it can also increase the sweet cravings, of which I already have too many, so cutting it may help there!
Surprisingly I have had less 3pm slumps than usual this week, which may also be due to being back on my exercise plan. This is my second full week of Focus T25 and I have enlisted Scott to help me stick to it. He has full permission to nag me and will also distract the kids while I do it. He's so supportive he even ate all our ice cream so I wouldn't be tempted!!
Seriously though, exercise is the best form of anti-depressant and I was in a bit of a post-Christmas slump.
Unfortunately being a Christian does not immediately eliminate the negative voice that most of us grow-up developing, at least not right away. Mine became a little too loud over the winter so far, drowning out God's still small voice.
Earlier this week I hit an emotional wall as I struggled to accept the likelihood that I am going to fall short of expectations of me. The feelings of failure and unworthiness crashing over me like a tidal wave.
Thankfully I was already out of my nameless slump, (so thankful for some amazing preaching on Sunday mornings to speak truth in to my heart), so it was not long before I turned my eyes toward heaven for my help.
I very clearly felt God ask me why failing to meet those [perceived] expectations was so devastating to me, when my value, my worth and my purpose comes not from other people, but from God.
And there it was. I have chosen to live my life by God's values and priorities. I know that to be the good choice. So I can not also meet all the expectations of people, be they family, friends or strangers. You can not serve two masters.
Oh, the peace I felt at that point. The freedom. I have nothing to prove to anyone because God has already validated me.
And so, I will do what I can, when I can, without compromising my values and beliefs - because to do so leads to a joyless, anxious, and ineffective life.
On Wednesday night Emma had a pajama party at school for the whole kindergarten at 6pm. One parent had to accompany her. She chose Scott, which I was pleased about, not least because in the past people assumed Pops was my husband because they see him with Emma!!
According to Scott they got the royal treatment, many of the moms remembering my Facebook post from Friday! I'm not sure if it went too far, with moms ushering kids over to say hi to Emma, but I'm sure the teachers aren't so inclined!
I need to remember to tell her that having Moebius is not her purpose in life. Her purpose is to love and serve God, and demonstrate his glory and strength by living with joy and peace despite Moebius. If she chooses to become an advocate for others like her, that's her choice.
I wonder what else this week has in store?!
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