Last night, as we were hanging out with friends, Emma announced that on Tuesday, in wellness class, as they were discussing what things you might be allergic to, Emma's friend had suggested Moebius Syndrome.
It stopped me dead in my tracks of course. I asked what the teacher said (it wasn't her homeroom teacher) and apparently she countered with the fact that you can't be allergic to Moebius. I asked Emma how she felt about the whole thing and she said that her friend didn't understand Moebius very well, that you are born with it. I left it at that, for the time being.
Since I have a relationship with the friend's mom, I sent her a quick message on Facebook, explaining Emma's story and asking her to explain that Moebius is not a sickness, not contagious and you are born with it. She replied this morning, apologetic and assured me they would talk. Apparently her daughter does not fully understand allergies. (Who does?!)
I got another message a bit later and she explained why she had said it. The mom has been suffering with terrible spring allergies and since Emma has been coughing a lot lately, her friend thought maybe she was allergic to that.
Quite an interesting theory, but totally plausible. Emma thinks she's allergic to the sun because she sneezes when it's really bright, as she can't squint and rarely covers her eyes!
Regardless of whether there was any malicious intent, the key thing I am learning is the importance of my reaction, with both Emma and involved parties. I did contact her teacher to make sure the other teachers understand Moebius so they can answer such questions. I wanted to talk informally to the girls mom rather than bring in the school counselor, because I know her and think that is the preferable way at times. With Emma, I kept calm and dropped it until I could give her resolution. I will not ignore these things, but heightening emotions would be foolish until more facts can be established.
More and more I realize that education and grace are the primary requirements for giving Emma better opportunities. I want her to know that anger is not a necessary response to ignorance. After all, unforgiveness holds us as prisoner because we are consumed with anger and desire for retribution. Grace does not excuse their actions, it seeks to understand and address in love.
It stopped me dead in my tracks of course. I asked what the teacher said (it wasn't her homeroom teacher) and apparently she countered with the fact that you can't be allergic to Moebius. I asked Emma how she felt about the whole thing and she said that her friend didn't understand Moebius very well, that you are born with it. I left it at that, for the time being.
Since I have a relationship with the friend's mom, I sent her a quick message on Facebook, explaining Emma's story and asking her to explain that Moebius is not a sickness, not contagious and you are born with it. She replied this morning, apologetic and assured me they would talk. Apparently her daughter does not fully understand allergies. (Who does?!)
I got another message a bit later and she explained why she had said it. The mom has been suffering with terrible spring allergies and since Emma has been coughing a lot lately, her friend thought maybe she was allergic to that.
Quite an interesting theory, but totally plausible. Emma thinks she's allergic to the sun because she sneezes when it's really bright, as she can't squint and rarely covers her eyes!
Regardless of whether there was any malicious intent, the key thing I am learning is the importance of my reaction, with both Emma and involved parties. I did contact her teacher to make sure the other teachers understand Moebius so they can answer such questions. I wanted to talk informally to the girls mom rather than bring in the school counselor, because I know her and think that is the preferable way at times. With Emma, I kept calm and dropped it until I could give her resolution. I will not ignore these things, but heightening emotions would be foolish until more facts can be established.
More and more I realize that education and grace are the primary requirements for giving Emma better opportunities. I want her to know that anger is not a necessary response to ignorance. After all, unforgiveness holds us as prisoner because we are consumed with anger and desire for retribution. Grace does not excuse their actions, it seeks to understand and address in love.
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