Grounded

Discipline is not my favorite part of parenting, but I realize how important it is, and early on, to avoid harder time bringing in rules when kids get older.

Emma is pretty simple - she totally understands cause and effect, and one hint of consequences is usually all it takes for her to know why she should make a better choice.  She responds well to "no TV", "no playdate" and "early bedtime"!  I try hard not to use food as a reward or punishment.

Toby is a whole different animal.  He is actually more responsive to relational consequences than Emma - she is fine to play alone or do her own thing!  Toby is not interested in the TV unless he's super bored, and he goes to sleep whatever time we put him to bed!

However, Toby is scared of being on one level of the house if no one else is there.  For example, if he refuses to go upstairs to bed, the rest of us just go up and he will run up the stairs as fast as he can!!  He also is very active, so if he is told to sit alone, and still, in time out, it's hard for him!

Today was a day of action after many days of warnings.  Toby does not like to get dressed and do his checklist (yes, I have a printed list of things they both need to do before school!  Includes dressing, eating, teeth and making the bed) without a lot of vocal coaching!

And today, after playing with his bowl of Cheerios (thankfully dry), he spilled them all over the floor.  I told him to pick them all up, and I went to take my shower and get ready. By the time I came down, 15 minutes before it was time to leave I found the Cheerios as they were.  I called him to clean them up and he pitched a fit. 

Thankfully I've been working on my own morning routine, to benefit us all, and it seemed that prayer time and having Christian music playing has had a good effect.  I let him do his thing, and left the Cheerios there when we left.

As soon as we got home this afternoon I asked him to pick them up and he did, with no fuss at all.  I was thrilled. 

I decided that he really needed some more consequences.  So when he saw the neighbor outside playing and wanted to go out I told him "no".  He was upset.  Then his friend from across the street came over to see if he could go and play tennis.  Again, I said "no" and he lost it! 

Understanding his feelings, I ignored the tantrum and did not engage in arguing.  He got over it and started playing with Emma. 

It remains to be seen if he will clean up his act in the morning, but for sure, he knows what it means if I tell him he will be grounded!!