Buddy system

Feel free to accuse me of being controlling, or too involved - I won't deny it, and I don't care!!  I have made an unabashed, conscious effort to connect with the moms of Emma's class at school.  There's a few reasons...

First, as much as the kids get to know each other in 2.5 hours in a room of 20+ kids, when seats are moved around, it's hardly going to allow deep bonds to form.

Second, while I [reluctantly] acknowledge that I can't choose Emma's friends for her, I do want to get to know the kids better, and potentially what environment she would be in hanging out at their house, and make a choice accordingly.  After all, I'm not going to let her go where they have inappropriate TV on or curse every other word.  Those friends can come here!

I also want to let the other parents know our expectations for Emma, so if she does behave badly they don't judge us, and understand, for example, that we don't celebrate Halloween, and the kids don't watch Sponge Bob.  Hopefully they would respect that.

That said, three of the girls in her class have clicked with her, and the moms and I have really gelled.  It's exhausting running from dropping Toby at school to a play date, rushing back two hours later, but worth it.

This is Emma and Mia, having a grand time at our house.

Mia's mum is Australian (half English actually!) so we had a great time chatting and comparing stories.  They live a couple of streets over.

This afternoon we walked out of school with another friend, Devon, and her mom.  

So cute, they were holding hands!!

Devon and Emma were in ballet together for two years, but it really wasn't conducive to friend making.  Apparently they are great friends!!  We've had a play date and the girls had a blast.

Four houses away is Alexis, another friend from ballet that we had no idea lived so close.  

We've had a couple dates with her, and her dad Joe just got Scott's car hooked up with a great body repair!  (She's a couple days younger than Em, but super tall!)

I'm exhausted playing social director for the kids, but I know I'll reap rewards!  One Saturday I had the kids by myself and Alexis came over, totally distracted Emma!  And Emma's going round there this weekend for a couple hours.

The girls may not be in the same classes forever, but I hope Emma will always have church friends, school friends and neighborhood friends.  There will be times she may fall out with a friend (like I did as a kid), so having different groups to be with and still feel loved will, I hope, help avoid the loneliness that happens when you are "unfriended."

Julie's husband Sean's Grandma (keep up!!) posted this message for me on Facebook.  I had to share it...

Debra, I have to tell you how adorable and funny Emma was Saturday at Sean and Julies wedding. In the church before the wedding party came in, when she saw Julie coming into the hall she comes running in saying Julies here Julie here and proceeded to take pictures of my sister Ann and Maureen and Pete and kids. She actually told them to get closer with the little hand making motions with it like a close motion. She had us laughing. She was so serious. She talked to Dylan,Liam and Maureen and my sister. I always thought she was shy. We loved her. She was busy showing us all her cross. She was the entertainer til wedding started .So adorable.

Scott and I were in the lobby mainly, so Emma had the freedom to mingle as she chose!!

That's our Emma!

Wedding Day

It was Julie's wedding day on Saturday (Julie is the eldest of Scott's two younger sisters!).  And I was honored to be acting as photographer for the day - chip off the old block, hey Dad!!

I had backstage access and no problem with fidgeting as I was given free reign to go anywhere and snap away!  I took 500 pictures in total, and will go through and edit them this week.

I did get a few of our family, but only one of us four, and (I feel terrible about this) none really of just Emma.  Luckily she wore the same outfit Sunday so I got some then!!

Here are a couple to whet your appetite!!

I left ahead of the family to take pics at the hotel.  Scott did a great job of getting them dressed and to the church.

Julie and Kim, looking stunning!

Emma didn't quite catch the bouquet, but was so upset at not getting it, cousin Stacey kindly gave it to her!!

Julie, Kim and Sophia!

After the ceremony the kids were ready to party but had to wait.  Toby was desperate to show his "cool moves"!!

Weddings are a great time to reflect on the one you love!

And those were just the few I took on my phone!!

It was a great time, the rain stayed away and everyone was blessed by sharing in the celebration.

Do-over

Emma wanted to wear her wedding outfit to church today, which was fine and I re-did her hair, so I could take some pictures!!

Her teacher told me they were asked to tell something honorable about another kid.  Her friend Joey raised his hand and said that Emma is pretty!  It might be totally shallow, but I was so proud.  I think she's adorable, but its nice to have confirmation!

Cheeky Monkey

The other day Toby got stuck on the bannister.  He needed help to get down, but I made him smile for a picture first!!

I'm sure he won't learn not to do it, just keep getting stuck until he's taller!!

Changing times

The good, well great, news is that Scott started at a different job site this week.  He's been with the same company now for at least a year I think, and they love him.  It's no surprise to me, but I know that it's a real blessing for his value to be recognized, to the point where he is in demand and they move him around where they need his skills.  This location will probably be through the spring, doing trim-work and kitchen cabinets..

There have been some teething problems because he's starting, and finishing later.  Toby loves seeing him in the morning, but is distraught when he leaves!  It's not something he's really had to deal with because Scott always left before he woke up, for pretty much his whole life.

We also need to adjust our evening routine as Scott gets home about the same time I do, which is roughly one hour before the bedtime routine starts.  That's a squeeze to do pick-up, then make dinner, and we've pretty much abandoned chill time.  We'll have to figure something out though, because Emma is supposed to be reading a book a day and that's just not happening.

They're problems, but they are good problems, because it means steady income, and thank God for that.

I think I'm coming through the guilt of working, in to the light of realization that working is just a fact of life!  Adam brought the curse onto men, of toiling all their lives, and the world being what it is a large portion of mothers have to work too.

I may not be the most interactive mother on my days off and free time, so I'm arranging play dates, and making new friends for myself in the process!  Emma has three classmates that we are getting together with, and Facebook helps me keep in touch with the mothers.  I'm not ready to add dance or soccer into the schedule yet, I need more time to adjust to this new crazy school routine!

Bonding Time

Now that Toby and I are alone two mornings a week it's tough to find ways to amuse him, while not trying to get chores done!

On Tuesday we hit the activity pack that Auntie Nicola and Uncle Jon gave him for his birthday.  (Thanks guys!)

He was excited to put the tractor together and managed to complete all the letter pages before he was too fidgety!  I was really impressed.  He knows a lot too.

He had fun putting the stickers on.

I can't say I did that much with Emma because Toby would be fussing.  I'll have to try and do something with her - because she's way too bossy to play doll house with!!

Guinea Pig

One of the joys of having a great hairdresser for a friend is the chance of being asked to be a guinea pig!!  (Note: only agree if they are great!!)

So, I now have an "ombré" color technique on my hair, and I have to say I love it!!

To act or not to act

You may or may not know that there is a nerve transplant surgery for people with Moebius Syndrome.  It is done after the age of four.

I'm reading more and more posts on Facebook from moms asking about it, or getting it done for their young kids.

Scott and I decided a long time ago we would let Emma make the choice to get the surgery when she's older.  However I am reading that 

A) it is better done on young children for developmental reasons;

B) adults with Moebius commonly express regret that their parents had not had it done for them as children.

As you can imagine this has thrown my questioning nature into a frenzy.

Are the two 10-hour surgeries and recovery times worth it for a lifetime of feeling more whole.

I don't know that I even need to ask Emma what she would choose now, though if she said "no" could we even accept that given she's really not fully able to comprehend the impact of the decision.

And then there's the cost.  There's a chance insurance would cover it, but if not... Maybe that would give us the answer.

As I consider the situation, if she was missing a limb or any other physical ability would we not pursue options to the nth degree?  Is the ability to be accepted and expressive, maybe not even more crucial?  We are social animals after all, is this a much bigger disability than we have tried to let it become.

Sure, we pray that she will love herself, have confidence and show others that God creates us to be unique.  But I do not want to force her into that position, as an example of how we should rise above the physical, when I have no idea of the struggle that would be for her, for the rest of her life.

My mind is spinning, my heart is aching and my guilt-o-meter is frantic.

I'm not angry at God for any of this.  I know he has reasons for allowing such things.  But oh, how I wish I had a clear answer on how we should act in response, or not.

Puts some of the other parenting decisions in perspective.

To be young!!

Enjoying the fruits of his birthday!!

Time Flies!

Happy 4th Birthday to our baby boy!!

We love you Toby, and you make us so very proud each and every day.

Party Time

We had Toby's birthday party today, for him and 7 of his closest friends!  He threw us a few curve balls on what he wanted (monster theme, football piñata, limbo!), and we wanted to keep it to a budget, so we worked hard!

We made some decorations, bought others:

Goodie bags

Monster balloons

Mike Wazowski

Limbo rack

Cake (bought, obviously!)

I enhanced the piñata

And we borrowed the church bouncy castle!

The kids had a great time!

Pin the eye on Mike!

Emma watched from the stairs - not invited!

Since Emma was not supposed to be there but she had a stinking cold and couldn't go to her friends, she watched a movie in her room for most of it, then bribed her way in with a gift!

The kids were taking too long to break it open so we invited the passing postie to take a turn!

Toby invited Nick from school.  He's the only person who's name he's mentioned, including the teachers!  Nick's mom went to school with Scott, but I hadn't met her, and Scott hasn't seen her since high school.

The boys were cute together, and apparently Nick likes Toby as much as Toby likes Nick.  It's encouraging that he has a nice friend at school, even though they live in a different town so wouldn't be at school together in future!

Here they are taking a breather!

Since the party Toby has been playing with his toys as we clean up and fight exhaustion!

Tomorrow we'll give him the rest of his presents, from the family.

Stylin'

I got Toby's outfit for Julie's wedding today - the whole ensemble for $12!  

It's a stylish little set, but seriously, I think this boy would look cool in sackcloth!!

I also picked up some real shoes, which he was so excited about because they look like Daddy's!!

If only finding something for me was so easy!

Church day

Scott and I volunteered for the nursery this Sunday - just a one-off!  The kids helped us with Ariella and Georgia!

Then Emma joined us in "big church" for second service!

Scott moved to the back after the singing, but Emma stayed up front for almost the whole service by herself!  I'm not sure what's she was doing, drawing I think, but she was well behaved!

Quote of the Day

Emma:  If fairies are real I believe in them.  Birds are real.  If I know birds, and I do(!), they are kind of like fairies.  So I think fairies are real.

Well Lord, you're gonna have to help me out with this one!!