Do-over

Emma wanted to wear her wedding outfit to church today, which was fine and I re-did her hair, so I could take some pictures!!

Her teacher told me they were asked to tell something honorable about another kid.  Her friend Joey raised his hand and said that Emma is pretty!  It might be totally shallow, but I was so proud.  I think she's adorable, but its nice to have confirmation!

Cheeky Monkey

The other day Toby got stuck on the bannister.  He needed help to get down, but I made him smile for a picture first!!

I'm sure he won't learn not to do it, just keep getting stuck until he's taller!!

Changing times

The good, well great, news is that Scott started at a different job site this week.  He's been with the same company now for at least a year I think, and they love him.  It's no surprise to me, but I know that it's a real blessing for his value to be recognized, to the point where he is in demand and they move him around where they need his skills.  This location will probably be through the spring, doing trim-work and kitchen cabinets..

There have been some teething problems because he's starting, and finishing later.  Toby loves seeing him in the morning, but is distraught when he leaves!  It's not something he's really had to deal with because Scott always left before he woke up, for pretty much his whole life.

We also need to adjust our evening routine as Scott gets home about the same time I do, which is roughly one hour before the bedtime routine starts.  That's a squeeze to do pick-up, then make dinner, and we've pretty much abandoned chill time.  We'll have to figure something out though, because Emma is supposed to be reading a book a day and that's just not happening.

They're problems, but they are good problems, because it means steady income, and thank God for that.

I think I'm coming through the guilt of working, in to the light of realization that working is just a fact of life!  Adam brought the curse onto men, of toiling all their lives, and the world being what it is a large portion of mothers have to work too.

I may not be the most interactive mother on my days off and free time, so I'm arranging play dates, and making new friends for myself in the process!  Emma has three classmates that we are getting together with, and Facebook helps me keep in touch with the mothers.  I'm not ready to add dance or soccer into the schedule yet, I need more time to adjust to this new crazy school routine!

Bonding Time

Now that Toby and I are alone two mornings a week it's tough to find ways to amuse him, while not trying to get chores done!

On Tuesday we hit the activity pack that Auntie Nicola and Uncle Jon gave him for his birthday.  (Thanks guys!)

He was excited to put the tractor together and managed to complete all the letter pages before he was too fidgety!  I was really impressed.  He knows a lot too.

He had fun putting the stickers on.

I can't say I did that much with Emma because Toby would be fussing.  I'll have to try and do something with her - because she's way too bossy to play doll house with!!

Guinea Pig

One of the joys of having a great hairdresser for a friend is the chance of being asked to be a guinea pig!!  (Note: only agree if they are great!!)

So, I now have an "ombré" color technique on my hair, and I have to say I love it!!

To act or not to act

You may or may not know that there is a nerve transplant surgery for people with Moebius Syndrome.  It is done after the age of four.

I'm reading more and more posts on Facebook from moms asking about it, or getting it done for their young kids.

Scott and I decided a long time ago we would let Emma make the choice to get the surgery when she's older.  However I am reading that 

A) it is better done on young children for developmental reasons;

B) adults with Moebius commonly express regret that their parents had not had it done for them as children.

As you can imagine this has thrown my questioning nature into a frenzy.

Are the two 10-hour surgeries and recovery times worth it for a lifetime of feeling more whole.

I don't know that I even need to ask Emma what she would choose now, though if she said "no" could we even accept that given she's really not fully able to comprehend the impact of the decision.

And then there's the cost.  There's a chance insurance would cover it, but if not... Maybe that would give us the answer.

As I consider the situation, if she was missing a limb or any other physical ability would we not pursue options to the nth degree?  Is the ability to be accepted and expressive, maybe not even more crucial?  We are social animals after all, is this a much bigger disability than we have tried to let it become.

Sure, we pray that she will love herself, have confidence and show others that God creates us to be unique.  But I do not want to force her into that position, as an example of how we should rise above the physical, when I have no idea of the struggle that would be for her, for the rest of her life.

My mind is spinning, my heart is aching and my guilt-o-meter is frantic.

I'm not angry at God for any of this.  I know he has reasons for allowing such things.  But oh, how I wish I had a clear answer on how we should act in response, or not.

Puts some of the other parenting decisions in perspective.

To be young!!

Enjoying the fruits of his birthday!!

Time Flies!

Happy 4th Birthday to our baby boy!!

We love you Toby, and you make us so very proud each and every day.

Party Time

We had Toby's birthday party today, for him and 7 of his closest friends!  He threw us a few curve balls on what he wanted (monster theme, football piñata, limbo!), and we wanted to keep it to a budget, so we worked hard!

We made some decorations, bought others:

Goodie bags

Monster balloons

Mike Wazowski

Limbo rack

Cake (bought, obviously!)

I enhanced the piñata

And we borrowed the church bouncy castle!

The kids had a great time!

Pin the eye on Mike!

Emma watched from the stairs - not invited!

Since Emma was not supposed to be there but she had a stinking cold and couldn't go to her friends, she watched a movie in her room for most of it, then bribed her way in with a gift!

The kids were taking too long to break it open so we invited the passing postie to take a turn!

Toby invited Nick from school.  He's the only person who's name he's mentioned, including the teachers!  Nick's mom went to school with Scott, but I hadn't met her, and Scott hasn't seen her since high school.

The boys were cute together, and apparently Nick likes Toby as much as Toby likes Nick.  It's encouraging that he has a nice friend at school, even though they live in a different town so wouldn't be at school together in future!

Here they are taking a breather!

Since the party Toby has been playing with his toys as we clean up and fight exhaustion!

Tomorrow we'll give him the rest of his presents, from the family.

Stylin'

I got Toby's outfit for Julie's wedding today - the whole ensemble for $12!  

It's a stylish little set, but seriously, I think this boy would look cool in sackcloth!!

I also picked up some real shoes, which he was so excited about because they look like Daddy's!!

If only finding something for me was so easy!

Church day

Scott and I volunteered for the nursery this Sunday - just a one-off!  The kids helped us with Ariella and Georgia!

Then Emma joined us in "big church" for second service!

Scott moved to the back after the singing, but Emma stayed up front for almost the whole service by herself!  I'm not sure what's she was doing, drawing I think, but she was well behaved!

Quote of the Day

Emma:  If fairies are real I believe in them.  Birds are real.  If I know birds, and I do(!), they are kind of like fairies.  So I think fairies are real.

Well Lord, you're gonna have to help me out with this one!!

Wake-up Call!

Apparently 8:30am is long enough to sleep in.  After that, the band intervenes!!

Growing up

Emma is feeling much better after Monday's accident.  Her biggest concern remains the tiny scratch on her finer, despite the huge scabs on her nose and lip.  Apparently they do not hurt!

She is having her photo taken at school today, and I had planned to order the "professional retouching" option, to remove blemishes.  However, someone suggested we should just go with the reality and it will be a funny story.  After much deliberation, and failure to make a decision, I did the smartest thing, and asked Emma what she would want: boo-boo in the picture, or removed?  Her response was so "her" and I smile every time I retell it.  She said "Hmmm, boo-boo in.  But the question is, what am I going to wear?!"

Apparently her yellow Hello Kitty t-shirt, and hair down.  I was not content with this, but did not have time to fight.

As I drove to work I realized that the school picture (and life in general), is not about me getting Emma to fit into my box of how I think she would look perfect, but instead receiving a picture of Emma as she is, perfect to me.

Admittedly, somewhere along the line I became a perfectionist.  Not content with how things are, and certainly not feeling good enough about myself.  I don't want to push my kids in that direction.  Sure, I absolutely want them to be the best them that they can be, but there's a fine line between that, and becoming people-pleasers.  I hope to teach them to "be all things to all people" as the apostle Paul suggests, but only because who they truly are is someone who can love, accept and help others as they are.

You might laugh, knowing that I am not good at this myself.  You'd be right, but being a parent is not about raising a clone of yourself (heaven forbid!), but learning from your weaknesses, mistakes and opportunities to give your children wisdom, confidence and purpose.  Being a shining example of what not to do may be a part of that!

Trauma

What a day!!  Started much like any other Monday, getting the kids ready and heading out for work.

Unfortunately Emma was a little too excited about getting to school and tripped, falling on her face!  She knocked out her front tooth (which was loose from another knock!), but lost it.

She also scraped her nose in top, and just under the nostril.  That's not so bad - it's the swollen upper lip that looks worse.  Her top gums are bruised and she tore the frenulum - the bit that holds the lip to the gum.

It's interesting that I was going to try and have the doctors clip the frenulum, so she saved them the job - although there is a nubby bit still attached to her lip.  I'm hopeful that maybe her top lip will come down more, for more closure.

The worst part was she was really shaken and upset. She couldn't go to school, and didn't want to.  But she was worried that she wouldn't be able to have her library book back in time!!

She cheered up eventually and is doing well.

The worst part is that school pictures are being taken on Wednesday!  Not to mention that she looks really beat up, so I don't know how the other kids will react.

It couldn't have been avoided, and it's not the first time, just what awful timing!! I hope that swelling goes down overnight.

New phase

Emma's Sunday school teacher is a friend of ours and called me this afternoon to share something Emma said today.  She and Emma have a special bond, and Emma sees her as one of her best friends!

The group was discussing having courage (doing what you need to do even when you're afraid). Emma raised her hand to give a testimony.

She shared that her top lip doesn't move. The girl next to her said "what doesn't move?" Emma repeated herself and then said "see?" And showed them all!
 

Then she said "I used to be afraid."  Michele, the teacher was choked up but asked her to go on, and say how she feels now.

Emma said she's not afraid anymore because she knows the rest of her is beautiful.

I have no idea when she was afraid because of this, and when I tried to pull it out of her she denied even having an answer in class! 

I am thankful that even though we were not aware she was struggling with this, she was able to pull through it.  She really is a strong little girl and I hope that she can continue to have this kind of perspective.

It's also such a huge blessing that she has a safe place to share her fears, inspire others and learn more about God's plan for her life.  It's not just kids like Emma who need that, but don't we all?  Because the truth is that God loves and has a plan for us all, and that is what turns the trials into opportunities.

A girl after her great-grandmas own heart!!

This ones 49 pieces.  After she mastered the 20 piece she said "of course I did it - I'm Emma and I never give up!"

Star

Emma was Star of the Day at school yesterday, so all the girls drew a picture of her.

I love how she's smiling in them all!  

No shrinking violet

Emma is certainly no shrinking violet, and her outfit today conveys just that...

She's also brimming with excitement about reading, and now wants to bring this book with her everywhere to read to everyone!  Here she is reading "sideways" to Toby during our 5 minute morning drive!

Update

I'm pleased to say Toby did you to school today, and despite strong reluctance, he allowed them to lead him away from me.

Waiting to go in.  He kept talking to Emma in such a grown up way!  You can tell he feels the struggle between being little, but also wanting to be a big boy.

I told him I would wait in the parking lot - which Emma jumped all over.  "So, you were tricking Toby?"  Glad we aren't classing it as lying!  She is very astute, adding "he won't know we ever left!"

While Emma was at school, Toby and I ran a couple of errands then hung out at home together.

While Toby was at school, Emma and I finished the errands, then came home.  She read a book to me, and then wowed me with her command of the first batch of sight words I showed her.  

Having them in school at different times was not what I planned, but other than the half hour to squeeze in lunch altogether, it actually great.

I'm getting up early and getting to spend alone time with the kids.  I try to leave the chores for when they are both home, so they have a playmate and I don't feel guilty!

With birthdays fast approaching, this is clearly my busy season!  Next year I need to get more done in the summer so it's not so crazy.