Back to school

The kids are going back to school, and so is this 40yo momma!!  

They say that if God showed you the entire journey, you'd never take the first step.  So, without knowing where it will lead, we are taking a step of faith in attending Ministry School, opening the way for God to lead us on a new path.

It's scary, and daunting, but so EXCITING!!  My heart is to live ALL IN with purpose, however and wherever God calls us.  Fitting it in with all of our other purposeful activities will be a challenge, but comfort is the enemy of growth!!

Virus-free. www.avg.com

Baseball

They say sports builds character, and it's true.  But I believe that it's on the bench, in a game, as in life, where you decide if you're going to be a quitter, or if you will persevere.

When Toby was selected for the 9U tournament team this year we had no idea what to expect.  I've never been the biggest sport spectator and I love my summer pool time!

Fast forward two months, and 6 tournaments, meeting great people, and cheering on a team of awesome kids 2-5 days a week, until I'm hoarse, it's been so much fun! 

I loved cheering Toby on when he played, but as the competition got more intense, my little rookie watched from the bench more than he played.  My heart hurt for him, but he taught me something I could never have seen coming.

When the team were at bat, Toby was in the dugout cheering loud.  When a batter hit, he was proud to go and retrieve the bat.   When the team were fielding, he loved to be the one to help them warm up.

Not once did he want to skip practice, he was always ready for his games, and any time I needed to get him moving I just threatened to make him miss a game!

Toby never complaints ed, whined or quit.  He didn't question the coaches, or compare his season with anyone else's.  

I'm so thankful that we were part of the team this year, but mostly I am thankful that I got to see my boy's heart and be so very proud!💛💙

Peru Missions Report

Pain

After my appendectomy in 2013 I was prescribed Percocets for pain management.  I only took them a couple of times bc we are super wary of addictive meds.  I remember the one time I took them, I had been in quite a lot of pain that day and we were going out, so I wanted to feel more comfortable.  I think I took a half pill.  What I remember feeling, and why I didn't bother taking them again, was that the pain didn't really subside, rather my feelings were elevated and I just didn't care so much about the pain!

 

Scott once said to me that to mask the pain this way is not good because pain lets you know something is wrong, and you need to rest or get help!  (He's so wise!)

 

There are many ways we try and mask pain in our life, but just like in my experience, the masking only deluded me into thinking it didn't matter, for a short while.  The underlying cause of the pain remains, and if we are not careful, we will find ourselves in an addictive cycle of masking pain, rather than addressing the underlying cause.

 

It didn't stop me comfort eating at times, or comfort shopping!  Or burying myself in a busy schedule, or trying to do enough good things to outweigh whatever was causing me internal pain.

 

It is my experience that when one really wants to be healed of pain, we must go to the Healer!  Only in light of His plan, do we find that there is purpose in the pain, and there is a way through it.

 

 "Come to me, all you who are tired and are carrying heavy loads. I will give you rest. Become my servants and learn from me. I am gentle and free of pride. You will find rest for your souls. Serving me is easy, and my load is light."

Matthew 11:28-30 NIRV

 

Faith alone does not heal.  It is the One in who we place our trust that heals.  When we offer our pain to Him, in faith, He replaces it with a lighter load.  When we give up trying to control, trying to redeem ourselves, trying to make it all work, He asks us only to serve Him. 

 

He will redeem us, He is in control, all things work through Him.  Just follow Him.

 

The man, the myth, the legend: Gramps

Today we laid to rest one of my heroes, my maternal grandfather.  Just shy of his 90th birthday, this man was well loved and respected by many, and will be missed greatly.  It will be my honor to share thoughts on his legacy to those who gather in today.

Today I would like to paint you a picture of not cliff Slade, but Grandad.  Specifically, I’d like to tell you about the legacy his life created for his grandchildren.

Grandad was well known as a steward at Esso, but He was also a good steward of his resources, and taught us grandchildren well. We learned that the inexpensive toys and sweets were just as good as the fancy ones!  More than once he promised that my Christmas present would be nothing more than a coloring book and some crayons. But I’m thankful that Grandma is the one who did the Christmas shopping.

There were plenty of family jokes about Grandads frugality, but I’m thankful that this sensibility was passed down through our family, a foundation of responsibility.

Although Grandad was conservative with his cash, he was not with his time. I have many childhood memories that include him because we would spend many half terms and summer holidays in Plymouth with my grandparents.  Grandad would take us on trips around Devon and Cornwall. He would pitch the tent in the back garden for us to camp out overnight, knowing full well we would never make it till morning! He taught us how to play card games, roulette, shove ha’penny, and Rummikub, and how not to cheat!  

Grandad displayed Christlike compassion throughout his life.  He provided simple care and service to the widows in the neighborhood. Tending their gardens, helping them with things like doctors visits and things they couldn’t manage on their own.  But His service to widows didn’t stop there. My grandparents opened their home to my great-grandmother for decades. It was all I knew, but I now see how extraordinary that is!

I’m sure you also have stories you can tell of his compassion, and service in your life.  Service threads its way through granddad‘s life. From serving in Palestine with the paras after second world war, through Esso, and on through our family.

And behind all of this, love.  From his stories of his 9 siblings and his parents, to stories about My uncle and my Mum. His pride for both of them was unmistakable.  He didn’t compare or criticize, but cheered them on, offering encouragement, support and wisdom. I’ve seen that love and respect returned too.  

I’m thankful for the unconditional love he showed us as grandchildren.  Always ready to receive a visit, a place of love and rest, with a big hug.  No judgement or criticism. But maybe a healthy dose of truth!!

And to see the committed, love between Grandma and Grandad, married for over 60 years!  I’m married, I know it’s not as easy as they made it look!! I don’t recall seeing them argue or  criticize, but rather sacrificing for the other, united. This was never more evident than how Grandma cared for Grandad over the past year.  I am so thankful for their example, and their strength.

Grandad will be missed, but may our lives honor and reflect him.

x

The empty chair

Where you once sat, is now an empty chair.
The void you have left, hanging heavy in the air.
It's too soon for anyone else to occupy that space,
A clear sign that nothing can take your place.

A legend, a gift, a leader to all,
Your passing, a tragedy on us to befall.
Your wit, your compassion, your wisdom, still an echo,
In our hearts and our minds, wherever we go

Where you once stood are footsteps too hard to follow,
Where you once gave us counsel, the rooms feel so hollow.
Our hearts will heal with the passing of time,
And a big part will always be yours, of this heart of mine.

Looking ahead to the day we will meet again,
When we'll embrace and rejoice that we are just the same.
At peace, all together,
Time for some tea, and maybe a quick game!

Sunday is coming.

Easter is approaching, and while the world seeks to commercialize on it, and sell cards or candy, there is really a much more significant opportunity.  To consider why we remember Easter. 

Jesus was not worrying about his popularity or image when he hung on that cross.  He wasn't trying to avoid the shame or embarrassment of suffering a criminals death.  

All he was thinking about was you.  How he loves you so much he couldn't let you face the eternal death that awaits us all.  He left the splendor of Heaven, endures as a man, and died a martyr, suffering pain and torment of separation from his Father.

For you.  For me.

He didn't wait for it to be convenient, or fun.  He didn't have his friends with him, or a social media following.

He didn't do it to prove a point or win an argument.  He did it because he is love, and love lays aside self.  He did it because only he could, or we would be without hope.

"Jesus said to her, "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die; and whoever lives by believing in me will never die. Do you believe this?""

John 11:25-26 NIV

This is the gospel.  That while we were still sinners, Christ died for us.  That whoever believes in Him will not perish, but have eternal life.

What did he ask in return?  Share.

"He said to them, "Go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation. Whoever believes and is baptized will be saved, but whoever does not believe will be condemned."

Mark 16:15-16 NIV

Why?  Love.

"Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.'"

Mark 12:30 NIV

"If you love me, keep my commands."

John 14:15 NIV

NO ONE is excluded from the gift that Jesus delivered.  It is a free choice to accept, or reject it.  But you can not ignore the defining act in history, that defines time itself, and demands a response.  To ignore Him is to reject him, to declare that you can do it on your own.

"Then Jesus said to his disciples, "Whoever wants to be my disciple must deny themselves and take up their cross and follow me. For whoever wants to save their life will lose it, but whoever loses their life for me will find it. What good will it be for someone to gain the whole world, yet forfeit their soul? Or what can anyone give in exchange for their soul?"

Matthew 16:24-26 NIV

I came across this Christmas poem in an old Facebook post today, from 2013. It was in a card my Grandad sent me. With him gone, it seems ever so much more meaningful.

"Peace and Faith, Love and Hope
Four candles burning low
Yet side by side they lit the night
And gave a warming glow

But anger soon diminished peace
As faith gave in to doubt
And love abandoned faded too
And soon all three went out

But hope still kept her flame alight
A joy for all to see
And growing stronger through the dark
She soon relit all three

When peace and faith and love grow dim
And struggle to survive
Hold fast to hope through doubt and fear
And keep the flame alive

Just like our Emma Hope"

Emma now has glasses! She doesn't need them all the time, she has astigmatism like me. I love her new look!!

Transformation

It's been two years since I underwent the biggest physical transformation of my life. But the reason it was so pivotal to me, is that it was much deeper than just weight loss.

We spend countless hours and dollars in the process of transforming ourselves. We have a clear picture of who we want to be, but we often stop short of the key to lasting change.

Many of us have found time and time again our activities only change temporarily, and we cycle back to where we started. This is because we need to be transformed in our thinking and vision if we desire to have a lasting positive change in our lives.

So how do we transform internally? The world has a number of different solutions for this, and inevitably they all seem to focus on self. "The more you focus on yourself the more you will be transformed."

But this is counter to Christian thinking. Scripture tells us that we should be transformed by the renewing of our mind, which comes through the Word of God, by way of the Holy Spirit. We are transformed when we get our eyes OFF ourselves, and fix them on God.

However, I think so many of us are scared to approach God to ask him who we are, because we have this impression that he is an angry and spiteful God who wants to punish us. And that couldn't be farther from the truth of the God of the Bible.

The Bible reveals to us a God who is incredibly patient and merciful. A God who created each one of us knowing that we would rebel against him and potentially spend our entire lives ignoring him. It is not that we are worthy of his love and grace, but that he deems us worth it - to the point of dying for us!

When Christ came and died for us, it was with full understanding that we may never appreciate what he did, or show any measure of love back to him. But God doesn't love us because we love him, he loves us because he IS love!

The truth is that you have value and worth, your life is precious and you are loved. Whether you have people in your world that communicate that to you or not, that is biblical truth. You have a heavenly Father who desires to speak blessings over you and bring you a joy that exceeds any possession or relationship available on earth.

You are not a failure, you are not a disappointment, because the one who created you knew your future before you were ever born, and he chose you still!

It is when we understand this truth, that it's not because of how well we have performed in the past, but because of who created us that we should. When we grasp that, we are to make lasting changes in our life, because we understand that we are worth caring about, we are worth helping and worth pursuing.

It's your choice whether to believe that transforming truth, or not.

Give thanks, in all circumstances

"Though the fig tree should not blossom and there be no fruit on the vines, though the yield of the olive should fail and the fields produce no food, though the flock should be cut off from the fold and there be no cattle in the stalls, yet I will exult in the LORD, I will rejoice in the God of my salvation. The Lord GOD is my strength" (Habakkuk 3:17-19).   

It's easier said than done right?  But our praise and thanksgiving should never be dependent on our circumstances or our situation, which frequently change.  Praise for God is based on who He is and what He has done for us, through Jesus Christ, and that is unchanging!!

When we take our eyes off the eternal truth I just mentioned, we are tossed around in a sea of emotions, challenges, and fear.  It's what happened when Peter stepped out of the boat, and after fixing his eyes on Jesus he walked on water.  But as he looked around him, taking his eyes of God, he began to sink.

As he did with Peter, Jesus will pull us up out of the storm when we fix our eyes on Him, and reach out for his help.  

Our lives come and go, ever so briefly, but our future rests in our hands, and how we respond to Jesus' call to get out of the boat and trust him.  and we can always praise Him, always give thanks, because He never ceases to watch over us and give us his strength.

We've had some storms recently, some real, some just dark clouds threatening on the horizon.  I was thankful to realize that rather than panic and run for the hills, I grabbed my umbrella and pressed on, confident that God would be in the storm with us, if He did not completely remove the storm.

It is well known that a grateful heart can withstand much, because it is focused on what is good, and it is much easier to move on to what good may come from that standpoint!

Don't lose sight of who God is, or what He has done in your life and the lives of those you love.  See His faithfulness and love and cling to it.

Mawiage

It's not only women who are affected by parenting!  Both moms and dads find that time is limited to care for oneself, when little tyrant elves are running around demanding food, shelter, car rides, and attention!  And some of that is even required by law!!

It's even harder, after trying to survive, to invest meaningfully in your marriage.  We are drained of energy, resources, and usually patience, leaving only the threadbare remains of a loving feeling at the end of the day.

Here are some suggestions for things to consider for the future...

Dates.  Not the fruit!  Remember what it was like to have time solely set aside to enjoy each others company?  From a coffee or meal out, to going to a movie, department store, pool hall, or other random places, together - when planned regularly, dates don't need to be Facebook worthy, just "put your phone down" worthy!

Budgeting.  Not sexy, I know, but financial strain and mis-matched expectations are a HUGE cause of stress and marital conflict.  Sit down and plan out the month, year, or next week TOGETHER!  Commit to being accountable to one another and sharing!

Health.  You knew it was coming!  Nothing says "I love you" like "I'm willing to work hard to be healthy and available to you for the next 50 years!"  Women worry about their husband's health, as much as they do their kids, but feel powerless to help.  It's why they make comments or try to force changes that are received as nagging or disapproval.  It's not, it's love, in a naggy voice!

Communication.  With me on my Facebook, and him on his iPad, we can go for hours without connecting.  And then we wonder why we feel like it's been days since we saw each other.  You might to do a screen-time fast, or set time, or maybe just give each other permission to ask for face-to-face time!

Dreaming.  My dreams often involve construction!  So rather than joining in my day-dreaming, Scott starts imagining workload!  With a little communication (see above) we can dream together, knowing that it's just sharing information, not setting goals or requiring overtime!

Grace.  A small word, with a powerful impact.  Grace is undeserved favor.  We all need it, in bucketloads!  If you treat me the way I deserve to be treated, my life will be miserable.  I forget things, I run out of time for things, I mess up at things.  Grace is loving me anyway, and continuing to invest in our relationship. Marriage needs that.  It needs you to forgive the snippy comment this morning, or the undone chore that was "important".  It needs you to continue to value their hard work, their commitment, and the grace they show you too!

There are many other things I could speak of, but these are a few that come to mind, worthy of a resolution at anytime.  Let's resolve to put marriage where it belongs, a top priority, and a beacon of hope for our kids.

Happy New Year

These lines are from "The Gate of the Year," a poem written in 1908 by Minnie Louise Haskins:

I said to the man who stood at the gate of the year
"Give me a light that I may tread safely into the unknown."
And he replied, "Go into the darkness and put your hand into the hand of God
That shall be to you better than light and safer than a known way!"

 

New Years Eve was a lonely night for me, for many years.  When you are single, it seems magnified that "everyone" has someone special on that night - though many of those relationships are hollow shells. 

 

It's a time when we feel compelled to make changes for the future, but often fail to celebrate our successes or embrace contentment.  We need to balance our pursuits of self-improvement, with the peace of knowing we have intrinsic worth.  Lest we fall into the "disease of more" (https://getpocket.com/explore/item/the-disease-of-more)

 

This is the time to heed the call of Christ:

"Come to me, all of you who are tired and have heavy loads. I will give you rest. Accept my work and learn from me. I am gentle and humble in spirit. And you will find rest for your souls. The work that I ask you to accept is easy. The load I give you to carry is not heavy." (Matt. 11:28-30)

 

There is no amount of money, no level of popularity, no pinnacle of professional success, no number of adoring children, no accolades and trophies, that can fill the desire to be significant.  Just look at all those who have reached their personal summit only to be disappointed and look around searching for what they still lack.

 

BUT, God.  He tells us we are loved, individually created, with intention, care, forethought, and purpose.  God invites us to know Him, and in turn be fully known, without fear of rejection.  We don't need to hide from God - we can't.  And even knowing all that you have done, thought, or said, and even knowing all that you will do, He invites you to be loved, be redeemed.

 

Christmas

The kids were up at 5:56 am, which was way too early since we didn't go to bed until midnight!  We weren't wrapping gifts this year, we had that taken care of well in advance, but there was football on!!

The kids have embraced the tradition from my childhood, where their stockings are outside their bedroom door and they bring them into our room and open them with us.  This year they both know the truth about Santa, but were adamant about still having stockings!!  I put some together for the dogs, and Scott and I!  Ours both included a gift certificate for a professional one hour massage - if there aren't perks to all the hard work, what's the point LOL?!

After stockings it was breakfast (pancakes and bacon), then on to the tree!!  In the U.S. most often all the gifts are under the tree, and are from Santa!  I have never understood that, I want the kids to know who has blessed them with a gift!!  They were thrilled with everything, and it was so much fun.  They don't make formal lists, we tend to seek out things we know they love or need, so the expectations are low and appreciation high!

After the flash of gifts, which included a lot of family games, we played together, and the kids also disappeared!  Later in the day we headed over to visit a few friends and get out of the house! 

Christmas Eve

Christmas Eve we had Scott's family over for lunch, then it was off to church!  The cousins exchanged gifts, and Aunt Kim surprised Emma with a trip to the Museum of Archeology and Anthropology (it's her thing right now!), and Toby got tickets to see a Sixers basketball game with Kim!

Then it was off to church for the candlelight communion services.  I gave a reading during the service, posted below!

Then we watched The Star movie before bed!!

Christmas Cookies

All season we have been watching all the baking shows on the Food Network!  Emma has been dying to bake some cookies, and on Sunday I finally let her!!  Toby and Scott helped us decorate and we saved them to share with our guests over Christmas!