Matthew 16:24
We all have our crosses to bear. some are physical - for Jacob, he had a limp after wrestling with God. Paul had a disability that made him weak so God's strength could be shown. Countless other people have physical limitations that they have to deal with each day. Others can be emotional, or internal challenges.
As I laid in bed and prayed for God to transform my heart he revealed that he is in the process of just that! It was so clear I had to write it down!
I'm facing some challenges right now, a new baby, change of lifestyle etc. The struggles that I am facing in my own life are not really due to Moebius or the like. Emma's condition will be a cross for her to bear - I'm realizing it is not ours at all. Of course, we will help Emma all we can though.
My trial right now is coming from giving everything she needs to my daughter, to serve her needs and put myself second. The same struggles my sister faces with Eloise, and many other new mums around the world. After all babies just don't get it when you ask them to give you 5 minutes to put your feet up (or head down)!!
We will eventually regain the opportunity to sleep at night, take long showers, sit down quiet for 10 minutes, etc. But right now the opportunity is here for me to develop a servant heart, and attitude. To give all I can for Emma, not because I have to, but because I love her and want to give her the best I can.
(I hear cries of "you need to take care of yourself," "take time off," etc. Don't worry I will, I'm not crazy, yet. A friend told me to never forget that I am more than Emma's mother. I realize now what she meant!)
Anyhow, it is in the midst of giving what I can to Emma that one of my own crosses becomes very heavy to carry.
One question I am asked, more than any other, is why did I come here, to America and I don't really have an answer. The better question is why did I stay! After being here for one year and going back to the UK I sensed very strongly that this was where God wanted me to be. When I came back I knew I was right.
You see there are often times when I long to see my family, escape to the home I grew up in and forget that I am now an adult with responsibilities! Homesick leads to heartache, but thankfully love is a cure for that and I have a home filled with it! The webcam helps also!!
If I had not come here, and stayed I would not know Jesus, the source of all hope and strength during difficult times. Sure enough, I would also not know Scott, whom I met through the church, and Emma ... well you get the picture!
And so, this cross is one of distance rather than disability. Some days it is heavier than others, but it is always with me. I am so thankful for all the friends that make it so much easier to carry because of their love, and open doors!
Each day I choose to continue to carry that cross because I am following Jesus. God alone knows if he will lead us somewhere else in the future, that remains to be seen.
(No, we're not moving!! I'm just sharing what's on my heart.)
We all have our crosses to bear. some are physical - for Jacob, he had a limp after wrestling with God. Paul had a disability that made him weak so God's strength could be shown. Countless other people have physical limitations that they have to deal with each day. Others can be emotional, or internal challenges.
As I laid in bed and prayed for God to transform my heart he revealed that he is in the process of just that! It was so clear I had to write it down!
I'm facing some challenges right now, a new baby, change of lifestyle etc. The struggles that I am facing in my own life are not really due to Moebius or the like. Emma's condition will be a cross for her to bear - I'm realizing it is not ours at all. Of course, we will help Emma all we can though.
My trial right now is coming from giving everything she needs to my daughter, to serve her needs and put myself second. The same struggles my sister faces with Eloise, and many other new mums around the world. After all babies just don't get it when you ask them to give you 5 minutes to put your feet up (or head down)!!
We will eventually regain the opportunity to sleep at night, take long showers, sit down quiet for 10 minutes, etc. But right now the opportunity is here for me to develop a servant heart, and attitude. To give all I can for Emma, not because I have to, but because I love her and want to give her the best I can.
(I hear cries of "you need to take care of yourself," "take time off," etc. Don't worry I will, I'm not crazy, yet. A friend told me to never forget that I am more than Emma's mother. I realize now what she meant!)
Anyhow, it is in the midst of giving what I can to Emma that one of my own crosses becomes very heavy to carry.
One question I am asked, more than any other, is why did I come here, to America and I don't really have an answer. The better question is why did I stay! After being here for one year and going back to the UK I sensed very strongly that this was where God wanted me to be. When I came back I knew I was right.
You see there are often times when I long to see my family, escape to the home I grew up in and forget that I am now an adult with responsibilities! Homesick leads to heartache, but thankfully love is a cure for that and I have a home filled with it! The webcam helps also!!
If I had not come here, and stayed I would not know Jesus, the source of all hope and strength during difficult times. Sure enough, I would also not know Scott, whom I met through the church, and Emma ... well you get the picture!
And so, this cross is one of distance rather than disability. Some days it is heavier than others, but it is always with me. I am so thankful for all the friends that make it so much easier to carry because of their love, and open doors!
Each day I choose to continue to carry that cross because I am following Jesus. God alone knows if he will lead us somewhere else in the future, that remains to be seen.
(No, we're not moving!! I'm just sharing what's on my heart.)
1 comment:
I finally did my presentation today on Emma :) I basically told her life story in about 20 minutes!!
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