If Emma were a week old I would not hesitate to tell you that I feel overwhelmed and somewhat daunted by my new role as full-time mother. As it is she is almost 4 months old and I feel like a failure for feeling exactly that now.
We have not had any major incidents or crises. Emma seems to be in good health, and I am sure she has the same temperament as her peers. Yet not 12 hours after my last post, here I am again, at the end of a long day!
Let me fill you in.
Scott came home at 3pm and set about bricking up a hole in our wall. I rocked Emma to sleep and set her in her stroller where I could see her as I started on dinner. I was already struggling with the amount of attention Emma needs!
Not long after she woke up and demanded I leave the thawing chicken I was chopping to attend her! (I hate raw chicken so leaving it out was tough!) Anyway, I got her settled somewhere else and went back to the kitchen, keeping one eye trained on her monitor. She was fine really until dinner was made, but I felt so stretched trying to take care of both.
After dinner we started her 6pm feed but she started to cry inconsolably and we could not calm her down. We stopped the feed to let out any gas and her crying meant milk went every where! We eventually decided to give her a bath, which she enjoyed, but went back to crying as we dressed her for bed!
She went down at 7pm and has been asleep since (except for a poop change!). I feel ridiculous now as I write the scenario out, but at the time I was at a loss for what to do and if it wasn't for Scott's seemingly endless patience I am sure I'd have cried.
It's also sinking in that I am now home every day, and I have some pangs of loss for my former life! As much as Emma needs to be sheltered from sickness where possible, I am going to start taking her out. My sanity surely has some value still!
So people, if your phone rings, it could be me inviting myself over!!
Tune in tomorrow for another dose of Anxiety by Debra!!
We have not had any major incidents or crises. Emma seems to be in good health, and I am sure she has the same temperament as her peers. Yet not 12 hours after my last post, here I am again, at the end of a long day!
Let me fill you in.
Scott came home at 3pm and set about bricking up a hole in our wall. I rocked Emma to sleep and set her in her stroller where I could see her as I started on dinner. I was already struggling with the amount of attention Emma needs!
Not long after she woke up and demanded I leave the thawing chicken I was chopping to attend her! (I hate raw chicken so leaving it out was tough!) Anyway, I got her settled somewhere else and went back to the kitchen, keeping one eye trained on her monitor. She was fine really until dinner was made, but I felt so stretched trying to take care of both.
After dinner we started her 6pm feed but she started to cry inconsolably and we could not calm her down. We stopped the feed to let out any gas and her crying meant milk went every where! We eventually decided to give her a bath, which she enjoyed, but went back to crying as we dressed her for bed!
She went down at 7pm and has been asleep since (except for a poop change!). I feel ridiculous now as I write the scenario out, but at the time I was at a loss for what to do and if it wasn't for Scott's seemingly endless patience I am sure I'd have cried.
It's also sinking in that I am now home every day, and I have some pangs of loss for my former life! As much as Emma needs to be sheltered from sickness where possible, I am going to start taking her out. My sanity surely has some value still!
So people, if your phone rings, it could be me inviting myself over!!
Tune in tomorrow for another dose of Anxiety by Debra!!
1 comment:
Yup. You're a mom! Chrissie and I felt the same way the first two months... they were hard. Know that it gets easier. Don't be embarrassed or down on yourself... all moms go through the same thing. You have been open and honest about it and that is noble. Your words will make other moms feel "normal."
Praying for your sanity...
Brian
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