Some people think I have control issues! I prefer to think of it a management issue. I realize that I can not control my life, there are too many outside influences, and besides I try to make decisions based on God’s will for my life, not my skewed desires.

When we chose to try for a baby we were steering things, but the actual pregnancy was not under our control. I made every effort to make choices that would keep the baby healthy, but that was not completely under my control. When Emma was diagnosed with gastroschisis we felt like our lives were spinning out of control, for a while, until we chose how to respond to the change from our expectations.

We don’t have any say in things like that, but our response was one of faith and trust in God’s plan.

My “control” issues relate to benign issues like keeping the house in shape, losing weight. After Emma was born the only decisions I could make were about what time I would be at the hospital!

Since Emma came home I feel like I’ve been playing catch-up, unable to get a hold on any one area. I’ve been losing weight, but not intentionally! Emma gets naps, but we have not been consistent with a schedule so she gets over-tired. And to a certain extent my daily plans are abandoned because I don’t have the energy!

Well, today I’m really hoping we can be more pro-active, Emma and I! Today I was able to do Pilates for 45 minutes! Then also take a shower – good job! Emma cooperated by playing in her playpen (and dozing!).

Next we are going to run errands – all of them!

If I can get consistent with that maybe I’ll work on healthier eating and get Emma on a schedule! One day at a time though!

I can’t control the future, and I am thankful that God knows what’s in store and is preparing us for it by how we handle the little things.