You know those characters in movies that are quiet people, but when they do speak it's all negative? You can imagine how hard it would be to stay positive around them right? Now imagine that they speak a foreign language so all you here are the negative tones, without being able to respond to the specific issue.
That's is how I sometimes feel about Emma. If she's quiet, great. But some of the time she cries for no reason. I think that's probably how it is with most babies at first - especially when you're sleep deprived! However, I think by now (approaching 5 months) many babies start to smile, coo, maybe even laugh, and having been around those kind of babies I know that will make you feel special!
so I am struggling, still, with staying positive some of the time. Don't get me wrong, when she is kicking around and playing with her toys, or looking up at me and chatting, my heart swells. But say I'm driving in the car, like this afternoon and she's tired, rubbing her eyes (big no no) and crying. Well, it's all I can do not to cry! (Yes, a nap today would've helped us both!)
That's when those memories of pre-baby life seem so perfect (even though they had their own issues!). Thankfully I do realize that it's the selfish part of me that allows those thoughts, and when that happens I remind myself that Emma is not at fault, and I love her to pieces. I wouldn't go back to life before Emma, and I can deal with the tough times.
I wonder if things will get easier when she can show me I do make her happy at times. Though I suspect there is always a little grass-was-greener syndrome for us all!!
On a lighter note, when we got home this afternoon Scott took over and got her changed for a little exercise...
That's is how I sometimes feel about Emma. If she's quiet, great. But some of the time she cries for no reason. I think that's probably how it is with most babies at first - especially when you're sleep deprived! However, I think by now (approaching 5 months) many babies start to smile, coo, maybe even laugh, and having been around those kind of babies I know that will make you feel special!
so I am struggling, still, with staying positive some of the time. Don't get me wrong, when she is kicking around and playing with her toys, or looking up at me and chatting, my heart swells. But say I'm driving in the car, like this afternoon and she's tired, rubbing her eyes (big no no) and crying. Well, it's all I can do not to cry! (Yes, a nap today would've helped us both!)
That's when those memories of pre-baby life seem so perfect (even though they had their own issues!). Thankfully I do realize that it's the selfish part of me that allows those thoughts, and when that happens I remind myself that Emma is not at fault, and I love her to pieces. I wouldn't go back to life before Emma, and I can deal with the tough times.
I wonder if things will get easier when she can show me I do make her happy at times. Though I suspect there is always a little grass-was-greener syndrome for us all!!
On a lighter note, when we got home this afternoon Scott took over and got her changed for a little exercise...
I think he was channeling Jane Fonda!
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