I turn 31 today. I know people who struggled with turning 30, and I expect that 31 will be hard too! Not for me really. 10 years ago I never expected to be where I am today, I didn't have a specific dream or plan I determined to accomplish by 30. But where I am is exactly where I am supposed to be.
I couldn't be happier to be Scott's wife and mum toEmma and Toby. It's been an intense few years, especially after 20+ years of not much adventure. Because of that, life is intensely good. As I get older the more I realize the blessing of trials and welcome them, and the magnification of what is important.
Something else I have become more aware of is a lack of identity in my life. So much of my identity is based on being a wife, mum, daughter, friend, and feeling like my overall value depends on my success or failure in these roles. I recently wrote a posting expressing this, but never posted it - that was one for God's eyes only!
On Sunday we heard the second message in the Fearless series which looked at significance. What fortunate timing! There's nothing quite like hearing a sermon that speaks to your current situation.
What it boiled down to was this: most of us find our significance in what we do or what we have. Sounds silly, but for many people if they lose their job or their spouse, maybe a child, they struggle with a loss of identity. For others maybe our homes, cars, savings, income and other stuff give us a feeling of significance. A few seek fame as a source of significance. But all of these things are temporary and so very vulnerable.
For me, the fear of losing Scott or one of the kids (too many crime dramas and movies!) is coupled with that sense of who would I be without them. It's similar to the feeling I had after my career ended. Sure, motherhood replaced it, but being successful in my job made me feel significant.
The answer is simple. We need to find our significance, and root our identity in something that is not vulnerable, does not change and can be trusted. That's right - God is the only one that fits the bill. What is more, God does not value us based on performance, but because we are His creation...
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
When we put our faith in the saving grace of Jesus we are created anew, wiped clean of our past mess, and set on a path of redemption. Although we struggle and stumble often on this path, God looks down on us with love and joy. He sees us not as we are, but who we will be when his work in us is completed.
That was a revelation to me. God doesn't look at me and focus on the stupid mistakes I repeat over and over. He doesn't get frustrated and wonder if I'll ever "get it". He sees me with love, and he sees me after the growing process is complete.
Things my significance do not depend on:
I couldn't be happier to be Scott's wife and mum to
Something else I have become more aware of is a lack of identity in my life. So much of my identity is based on being a wife, mum, daughter, friend, and feeling like my overall value depends on my success or failure in these roles. I recently wrote a posting expressing this, but never posted it - that was one for God's eyes only!
On Sunday we heard the second message in the Fearless series which looked at significance. What fortunate timing! There's nothing quite like hearing a sermon that speaks to your current situation.
What it boiled down to was this: most of us find our significance in what we do or what we have. Sounds silly, but for many people if they lose their job or their spouse, maybe a child, they struggle with a loss of identity. For others maybe our homes, cars, savings, income and other stuff give us a feeling of significance. A few seek fame as a source of significance. But all of these things are temporary and so very vulnerable.
For me, the fear of losing Scott or one of the kids (too many crime dramas and movies!) is coupled with that sense of who would I be without them. It's similar to the feeling I had after my career ended. Sure, motherhood replaced it, but being successful in my job made me feel significant.
The answer is simple. We need to find our significance, and root our identity in something that is not vulnerable, does not change and can be trusted. That's right - God is the only one that fits the bill. What is more, God does not value us based on performance, but because we are His creation...
For we are God's workmanship, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do. Ephesians 2:10
When we put our faith in the saving grace of Jesus we are created anew, wiped clean of our past mess, and set on a path of redemption. Although we struggle and stumble often on this path, God looks down on us with love and joy. He sees us not as we are, but who we will be when his work in us is completed.
That was a revelation to me. God doesn't look at me and focus on the stupid mistakes I repeat over and over. He doesn't get frustrated and wonder if I'll ever "get it". He sees me with love, and he sees me after the growing process is complete.
Things my significance do not depend on:
- A straight part between
Emma 's pigtails (so hard to do!) - Making a perfect meatloaf
- Having $$$$ in the bank (nice all the same!)
- Keeping my house clean and tidy at all times (An exercise in futility)
- Dressing nice for church (Much better to be on time and with a good attitude)
My significance comes from knowing that I am a loved and valued child of God, that will never change. So is everyone else. My purpose is in loving God and others with that in mind.
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