Love and Respect

This Friday Scott and I are hosting a video conference of the Love and Respect Marriage Conference at church.  I'm so excited!!  

We have been reviewing the DVD's that we bought at the live conference in February.  It's a little tough to hear and realize the ways that you might have been contributing to your spouse feeling unloved or disrespected, however unintentional.  

In fact, it's so easy over the course of years for comments or attitudes to buld up walls between us.  Each day something little can be an irritant, like a wet towel on the floor or dirty shoes walked through the house.  Like a grain of sand in your eye, that irritant can cause major damage if left unchecked.  

But we need to give our spouse grace, choose to remember that they are basically a good-willed person who is not trying to hurt us.  Then we might be a little less irritated by the habit and a little quicker to love and respect them the way they deserve, the way God calls us to love and respect them.

It is our hope and prayer that people will come (30 signed up, others may just come) and find a new understanding of how they can meet the needs of their spouse, and have their own needs met.  

If we can help just one marriage find new life it will be worth the work.  I spoke to a lady who is new to our church.  Her marriage of many years is not a happy one and she is determined not to quit on it.  I prayed with her and she was able to persuade her husband to come!!  I know this will open up conversation and hopefully restoration in their marriage - it's never too late!

I was really excited to find the blog of Dr. Eggerichs and his wife at http://emersonandsarah.blogspot.com/ - this will be my new daily read.  Check out this great testimonial they posted:

We’ve been talking about wedding anniversaries and romantic expectations… and how to get free from the blame game. 

Here’s a story from a wise wife who made a powerful discovery about her wedding anniversary:

My husband and I attended your seminar and it opened my eyes in so many ways.  I realized what was missing in the way I respond to him and how I've been disrespectful towards him causing him to respond in unloving ways.  All this time I'm blaming him and asking and praying for God to change him.

Last weekend was our 17th anniversary.  He's such a golf fanatic that I told him my gift for him would be for him to play golf at a golf course of his choice and money is no object.  To top it off, I told him that I'd caddie for him - drive the golf cart for him and whatever else a caddie does. He was excited the morning of our anniversary while getting ready for golf - he couldn't believe it.  Once we arrived at the golf course, he was telling everyone how that day was my anniversary gift for him and that l would even caddie for him.  I could tell he was so proud.  It was a VIP golf course and we were treated as such the whole time and he couldn't believe it.  All of the guys were saying they wish their wives would do the same for them and one actually shook my hand and thanked me for what I did for my husband and said that men need more wives like me. You can say that my husband had a smile the whole time and he said he actually shot his best score ever. 

I've always (thought) our anniversary is all about me and that he better have a nice gift for me.  You have changed that for me and I never would have thought of thinking about what would make him happy.....Thank you so much!!!!  

What I love about this story is not only did this wife make a powerful realization – that marriage isn’t all about her – but she acted on it.  Though golf was not her idea of romance, she discovered a deeper joy in giving her husband the gift of respect.  I’m quite sure her husband would say that was their most romantic anniversary ever!