I feel as though I have had remarkably few bad days during this pregnancy, however today has been tough. All the patience I have toward waiting on the baby is equaled by the frustration I have about waiting on the baby!! It's not so much the birth as anxiety about handling two children on a day to day basis!!
Coupled with the uncertainty in our income right now my anxiety level is pretty high. You know that finances are one area I have struggled in trusting God, and I guess right now I am being stretched to put all my faith in him. He has always provided in the past, so I cling to the promises he has given and the examples of the past.
It is quite likely the combination of being 40 weeks pregnant, and the other situations that are making me down today. Not wanting to stay in a downer I decided to look back on the blog posts from November 2007. Perhaps I had some words back then that could encourage me now?
Indeed, I found a few interesting thoughts that have encouraged me today...
it occurs to me how much my emotions resemble a rollercoaster ride. One minute I am up, incredibly hopeful about Emma's progress and complete healing with no lasting affects; the next minute fearing the worst prognosis and wondering of the impact greater health concerns will have on all our lives.
Fear is always in the car behind ours, constantly trying to chase our hopes away. However, just as a rollercoaster, neither Scott or I is in the driving seat (or control booth!) ~ thankfully! As you know we have asked Jesus to fill that role, of the drive and direction for our lives, and it has never applied more than now.
He alone knows where we are heading and what we will encounter along the way, and that is a great comfort.
Scott quoted a speaker at a recent conference who said "everyone wants a testimony, but they don't want to go through the test! You have to 'moan' through a test, to get a testimony!!" How true! It's okay to be upset about things that happen to you, however if you do not try to learn from it and seek the lesson, you may miss the good that can come from it.
Our decision is that we will accept the news, and love our daughter, with a grateful and joyful heart. We know God will provide our strength and resources and that He will be glorified through this. ( I think that is a big part of faith - being able to receive trials in the knowledge that it will glorify God).
There is an alternative option, which is to feel despair, anger and frustration. This benefits nobody, least of all us! We don't want to be negative and still have to face an uncertain future! How much harder will that be!!
And so, I continue to trust in the God of all resources (and hopefully that trust will increase) while also looking at our situation as really not the worst it could be. But oh God, I pray that the baby is healthy, we all remain healthy, and together, through these times.
Coupled with the uncertainty in our income right now my anxiety level is pretty high. You know that finances are one area I have struggled in trusting God, and I guess right now I am being stretched to put all my faith in him. He has always provided in the past, so I cling to the promises he has given and the examples of the past.
It is quite likely the combination of being 40 weeks pregnant, and the other situations that are making me down today. Not wanting to stay in a downer I decided to look back on the blog posts from November 2007. Perhaps I had some words back then that could encourage me now?
Indeed, I found a few interesting thoughts that have encouraged me today...
it occurs to me how much my emotions resemble a rollercoaster ride. One minute I am up, incredibly hopeful about Emma's progress and complete healing with no lasting affects; the next minute fearing the worst prognosis and wondering of the impact greater health concerns will have on all our lives.
Fear is always in the car behind ours, constantly trying to chase our hopes away. However, just as a rollercoaster, neither Scott or I is in the driving seat (or control booth!) ~ thankfully! As you know we have asked Jesus to fill that role, of the drive and direction for our lives, and it has never applied more than now.
He alone knows where we are heading and what we will encounter along the way, and that is a great comfort.
________________
Scott quoted a speaker at a recent conference who said "everyone wants a testimony, but they don't want to go through the test! You have to 'moan' through a test, to get a testimony!!" How true! It's okay to be upset about things that happen to you, however if you do not try to learn from it and seek the lesson, you may miss the good that can come from it.
_________________
Our decision is that we will accept the news, and love our daughter, with a grateful and joyful heart. We know God will provide our strength and resources and that He will be glorified through this. ( I think that is a big part of faith - being able to receive trials in the knowledge that it will glorify God).
There is an alternative option, which is to feel despair, anger and frustration. This benefits nobody, least of all us! We don't want to be negative and still have to face an uncertain future! How much harder will that be!!
And so, I continue to trust in the God of all resources (and hopefully that trust will increase) while also looking at our situation as really not the worst it could be. But oh God, I pray that the baby is healthy, we all remain healthy, and together, through these times.
No comments:
Post a Comment