Yesterday a kid we don't know told Emma she looks weird. She
immediately told me, and just like a kid that falls and looks to mom to
see if they should be hurt or laugh, I think she was stunned and upset,
but was at a turning point.
My mom default is to neutralize the
hurt - I asked her how many people had told her she looked beautiful
earlier in the day! She said "tons." I suggested that she listen to
those people and not the ignorant kid, and she agreed. (why do we ALWAYS listen to the few negative things we hear, instead of the good?!! I can go back 30 years on negative comments, don't recall many positive ones recorded to my inner soundtrack.)
But, although she seemingly moved on, as if I had taken a physical blow for her, I absorbed the hurt on
her behalf. I was shaken and frustrated, it took me a while to calm
down. And I was not happy with the way I had left it - you always think
of something better to say later on!!
I was waiting for another opportunity to address the mean comment without harping on it and it came at Dairy Queen as we all sat eating our ice-cream. It started when my Toby said to Em "don't tell mom and dad what I said to you on the playground", which means tell them! So Em told us "he said he loves me". HUGE deal because he only usually says he doesn't love her, which she gets sad about. When asked why he said it, it was "because she was sad at church earlier!"
Anyway, I said I'd thought about a good way for both of them to respond to someone in that situation (because it's not limited to Moebius kids!) - "I don't care what you think." It was actually my second suggestion, but the first was shot down for being too long!!
Emma then showed the character that sets her apart - she said "well, when I first saw myself after surgery, I thought I looked weird!"
We can't stop people from being mean or rude, but we can stop ourselves from living in anger, hurt and behind walls. If we can show people grace, it allows love and peace to reign in our heart and lives!
I was waiting for another opportunity to address the mean comment without harping on it and it came at Dairy Queen as we all sat eating our ice-cream. It started when my Toby said to Em "don't tell mom and dad what I said to you on the playground", which means tell them! So Em told us "he said he loves me". HUGE deal because he only usually says he doesn't love her, which she gets sad about. When asked why he said it, it was "because she was sad at church earlier!"
Anyway, I said I'd thought about a good way for both of them to respond to someone in that situation (because it's not limited to Moebius kids!) - "I don't care what you think." It was actually my second suggestion, but the first was shot down for being too long!!
Emma then showed the character that sets her apart - she said "well, when I first saw myself after surgery, I thought I looked weird!"
We can't stop people from being mean or rude, but we can stop ourselves from living in anger, hurt and behind walls. If we can show people grace, it allows love and peace to reign in our heart and lives!
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