Theology with Toby

Tonight at bedtime we had "theological questions with Toby!"

"does God know every every everything?  Does he know what I like?

Yes.  And he knows things about you that even you don't know.  He put things in your heart that you'll find super fun if you let him show you.

"where is God?"

God is in heaven, and he watches over us.  

"Why did you say he is coming back?"

Jesus is in heaven too, and he's coming back to earth.  But the Holy Spirit lives in your heart if you ask him to, and he's all around us.

"He indivisible (invisible!)?"

Yes.  

"When we go to heaven will we see him?"

I don't know!  That's a really good question!

"Will he make us indivisible?"

Again, I don't know!

"who's in control?  Are we in control or is God in control?

Another good question!  We have the freedom to make our own choices, but sometimes we find it hard to make good choices.  If we ask God, he will help us make the right choices.  Otherwise we can be controlled by sin, the devil uses that to tempt us to make bad choices.

And that concludes "theological questions with Toby" for tonight!

Summer Saturday

Busy day today!

First off Em and I went into the city to get our back to school haircuts!  She was most excited about the shampooing!!

 It's significantly shorter than it was, but it's a definite style, and sooooo easy! I got a curling wand (it tapers at the end, making a tighter girl that will hold) and added some curls for an extra cute look!

And that was just in time for our third annual Backyard Blast!  Every summer the church has 2 or 3 barbecues at someone's home or he church. This was our third year hosting one, and we ended up with over 70 people joining us in our yard for food and fun!  We had the bouncy castle from church, put up the dartboard and had a 5 tables each with 8 chairs, featuring these simple centrepieces I made:

We had a great time and we're thrilled that some of our own friends and neighbors came over too.

Scott worked today, before the barbecue and will also be working again tomorrow (popping home to teach the pre-schoolers at church, then going back)!  Thankfully we have some plans for him to get a break from the grind before summer ends, God-willing.

Health is beautiful

While I was mowing the lawn today (girlpower!) emma came inside, put on her leotard and did the entire T25 cardio workout (alpha level, but who's counting)!! (Verified by Daddy.)

When I came in she told me what she'd done and I was so proud.  Could I have inspired her to do this?

Then she said "do I look skinny now?"  My heart broke.  I rarely use that word (it will never apply to me) so I don't know where she heard it.  I'm not even sure she knows what it means.

Trying to help an overweight child understand why they can't eat as much as they want whenever they want without them thinking it's because of looks is so hard.  I just want her to be healthy, to have self-control and avoid the guilt & shame cycle I've been on for years.

However I don't agree with the new trend of saying that as long as you are happy with your body it's all good.  Obesity is unhealthy, and its implications, especially for children, are far beyond dress size and feeling beautiful.

My grandmother told me that my great grandmother had a very simple pearl of wisdom when it came to losing weight. "Eat less."  I guess that's where I get my bluntness from!  But she was right, if you eat less, eat better, and move around a bit, you should be able to maintain a healthy body, notwithstanding illnesses or conditions.

The reason so many of us gain weight, struggle to lose weight and keep it off, is that we are unable to say no to ourselves, because we don't like being told "no". We have become so boundary less that we struggle to tell others know, but we also struggle to deny ourselves things that we want to, that are not good for us.

Learning how to relate to food, is as much about dealing with our own ability to say no to ourselves, as it is as much about the food we eat.

These days we have a tendency, if our desires do not line up with the word of God, that we question the word of God, and not our desires. But the Bible is fairly clear about the importance of self control. But we're overlooking that because we have decided that anywhere the Bible addresses behavior, it's judgmental.

Many of us need to practice saying no to ourselves, as much as we need help in saying "no" to other people.  And nobody likes to hear "no", to be told that they will not get their own way, and so we often refuse to tell ourselves know. 

Maybe you heard no way too much as a kid, maybe you didn't hear it enough.  I could probably point the finger and a number of reasons why I do not like to hear "no", but the truth is none of that matters, because I understand now, that I am responsible for my actions.

This is a daily battle for many of us, I still struggle with this almost minute by minute, but I know that what I want, is not what I should always have. And I need to be OK with not feeling OK.  At the same time, I'm trying to teach my kids how to say no to themselves. Part of my responsibility as a parent is to teach them how to have self-control, which is funny considering that I struggle myself with it.

But, I'm thankful that God knows what he's doing, and I'm not alone in this. He is right there with me giving me strength, wisdom, and grace.

Take me out to the ballgame

This evening we were fortunate enough to be offered four free tickets and parking for a Phillies game.  We snapped them up and brought the kids to their first game!!

We had great seats!

We had some dinner

And watched the game!

Making memories is what summer is for!

Me and my girl!!

From last Saturday!

Toothy time

I took emma for a follow-up at the orthodontist today.  I've lost track of how long she's had the lower expander in her mouth, but apparently it's really working.

Today she had "spacers" put in.  These are small pieces of rubber/plastic that were wedged between two upper teeth on each side.  Her teeth will move apart and in a week metal rings will replace them, fixed around one tooth on each side.

A week after that (two weeks time) the palate expander apparatus will be attached and we will begin to widen the top too.

Emma is very nervous, and I can't tell her for sure it won't hurt, but the spacers stopped hurting within a couple hours and the dentist said it might take a few days. Emma is holding on to that!

At the appointment they actually told me it would be two weeks between each appointment, putting the day for the expander to go in as the second day of school.

I politely but firmly told them that that was not going to happen.  She is already at a speech disadvantage with new people, under no circumstances will i handicap her the day after starting a new school!!

So, she'll have a week to adapt for eating and speech.  Her therapist will come in that week too, so she will help if necessary.

I'm glad I stood my ground, even offering to remove the spacers if they couldn't work with us!!

Scott promised Toby a new gun if he passed the swim test a while back.  Toby didn't forget!

Scott bought the gun.  

True artist

True to my word, I took emma to a painting class.  She really enjoyed it, we had some good mother daughter time and came home with a really good painting!

Check out this smile!!

What a constructive way too spend $25 and a Sunday afternoon!

Summer nights

After the triumphs with deep water, we hung out until past dusk

And had a lot of fun trying to make the biggest splash with cannonballs of the high dive!

It was a great Saturday, following a great Friday night when we went out to our favourite restaurant with the same friends, and a few others!

Emily, Christina and Kali with me!

Left to right: Grant, Scott (they could pass for the Mitchell brothers from Eastenders!), Christina and Jeremy, Kali, me and Emily (Grant's wife)

I had Emily snap this picture after I grabbed Scott!  He's not one for posing for pictures - not a huge social media fan!!

Bucket List

We got a major item crossed off our summer bucket list today!

To celebrate the birthday of our good friends son, we invited them to come to our pool for dinner and swimming.  They brought their three boys and niece, we brought pizza and wings!

In order for the two younger sons to go in the lazy river or off the slide, they had to pass the deep water test.  The test (which Emma passed back in June) consists of a length of the pool (any stroke) then treading water for 30 seconds before floating for 30 seconds.  They both did fine, it was really just a formality.

But the excitement of that, plus the fact that the pool was very quiet, inspired Josiah (our nephew) and Toby to go for the test.  They've both been able but resistant for some time.

Josiah went first and did great.  He immediately went to the slide!

Toby was all about it so he had his turn...

Swam the length strong, then had to tread water (which I'd never seen him do!)

And finally float - again, something he'd not been good at!

And he got it.

It was a proud moment, as much for the courage to try as the actual skill required.  He's far less likely to try if he thinks there's a chance he might fail, than Emma.

But he was super buoyed by the win!

Moebius Meet-Up

Last Saturday we left the house at 8am and headed south, to Virgnia.  After 3.5hrs or so, we arrived at Curtis Lake Park for a Moebius Syndrome meet up!

We met old friends, and new ones.

Left to right: Lauren (who we first met in 2008), Austin, Em, Jessica, and Toby

By the time we got to dinner our kids couldn't get enought of the big kids!  We couldn't ask for better role models for Em - these guys are learning and demonstrating self-acceptance, authenticity and respect!

Scott was asked to say grace before we ate lunch, but it turned out to be a mini-sermon after dinner, when he let everyone know that God made them with a purpose and they can impact the lives of everyone they meet, positively or negatively.  

This picture was a special moment for me.  You might not be able to tell, but Toby is talking to Shelby, a vibrant young woman with Moebius, and she also happens to have significantly deformed arms.

Last night Toby indicated that he might struggle today, he said he doesn't like Moebius and just wanted to make friends with people without Moebius.  I had no idea how it was going to go.

Thankfully he seemed to take his cues from Emma and Scott and was soon playing with the little kids that arrived.  Even still, I knew that adults are different for him - he's always shy.  Maybe it was because Shelby was so friendly and engaging, or that the other kids here were her niece and nephew, but Toby was not only talking, but let her touch his Mohawk - hugely surprising!

As you saw in the above pictures, by the end of the day, both my kids were seemingly oblivious to facial differences, and just wanting to hang with the big kids, as it should be!

A long ride home - 3.5 hours is much different at 9pm than 8am!

I read this story on Facebook:

A father takes his son into the forest, blindfolds him an leaves him alone. He is required to sit on a stump the whole night and not remove the blindfold until the rays of the morning sun shine through it. He cannot cry out for help to anyone. Once he survives the night, he is a MAN. He cannot tell the other boys of this experience, because each lad must come into manhood on his own.

The boy is naturally terrified. He can hear all kinds of noises. Wild beasts must surely be all around him . Maybe even some human might do him harm. The wind blew the grass and earth, and shook his stump, but he sat stoically, never removing the blindfold. It would be the only way he could become a man! 

Finally, after a horrific night the sun appeared and he removed his blindfold. It was then that he discovered his father sitting on the stump next to him. He had been at watch the entire night, protecting his son from harm. 

We, too, are never alone. Even when we don't know it, God is watching over us, Sitting on the stump beside us. When trouble comes, all we have to do is reach out to Him. 

If you liked this story, pass it on. If not, you took off your blindfold before dawn. Moral of the story: Just because you can't see God, Doesn't mean He is not there. "For we walk by faith, not by sight!!!

Magic

Yesterday I offered the kids one item from a container that had brownies, chocolate chip cookies and two large chocolate covered pretzels coated in M&Ms, for dessert. 

After they'd devoured the pretzels Toby asked if tomorrow he could have something again from my "magic box of desserts"!!!  We couldn't stop laughing every time he said it.

Unfortunately Scott got into the box (much like a pack of coyotes) and it is no longer a box of desserts!!

God sighting

At Vacation Bible School the kids learn to look for "God-sightings" - when you see God working in your life.  I had a big one this week!

Since changing my hours a year ago, from 3 full days to 5 half days, I have parked in a small lot that is very affordable because it's "early bird" rate went until 10am, which is when I started work.  However, toward the end of the school year, the little lot started filling up before I could get there and I was forced to go elsewhere and pay full daily rates.  Thankfully school finished and I could start my day at 9am and find another early bird rate - they all go until 9am.

But, in the fall my hours will go back to starting about 9:45am, so that I can take Emma to school and pick her up (Toby is still half days this year!).  So I was concerned about the jump in parking fees - about an 80% increase!

I've been parking in a small, but great car park that is under ground, and always has spaces, and is very close to the office.  I reached out to them to see if I could sign up for a monthly rate (presumably less than the daily $18).  It took about a month before I got the right person and was told I could do a monthly pass, with guaranteed spot, and $1 CHEAPER per day than the early bird, no matter what time I come in!!

What's more, the parking lot has security, and because it's underground, my car stays out of the sun, rain and snow!!

When I went to pick up the pass I was told that I had the very last one.

Now, I don't believe in coincidences or luck, I believe in a God that knows my every need, and provides the means and a way for me to follow him in peace and confidence.  And just like the superhero that shows up when there seems to be no way, God reveals his power and provision when I have exhausted my own.

It's not hard to have a "God-sighting", you just have to look for Him,

New obsession

I don't know who thought of this, but ther a genius!!  A place you go and learn to paint a picture in a couple of hours!  You can go with friends, and bring food and drink for when the paint is drying, or bring kids to a family class!

A little known fact about me is that I love to paint and would love to be any good at it!  I had a blast with it tonight.  I think I'm hooked!

This is the teachers painting we were emulating:

This was mine - not terrible for a first go!!

I wasn't alone!! I went with a few friends, and we had the place to ourselves!

I'm going to take Emma to a class and see if I can hold back the perfectionist critical mommy, and help her be the artist she wanted to be on Job Day!  

Hope you like art for Christmas!!