Picture time

Meet Molly, our neighbors new Bishon puppy!  Nothing quite like a fuzzy little puppy to make you smile.

The kids trying on their new "Woody" pajamas (thanks to a generous hand-me-down!)...

Emma is quite the little model, strutting around the place!!

 

And check out baby Sophia, these two will be quite formidable in the years to come!

How do you eat yours?

My boss was in the UK last week and after much un-subtle hinting, brought me a favorite of mine that I haven't had in a long-time...

Easter in the UK differs from the US in one major way - while Easter here is accessorized with candy stuffed into plastic eggs and then hidden for a "hunt", in the UK Easter eggs are large (albeit thin and hollow!) chocolate eggs with candy or chocolate on the inside.

A small, delicious favorite of mine is the Cadbury's Creme Egg, which you can buy here, however they are actually Hershey's chocolate (as are all Cadbury products made in the US!).

So it was nice to enjoy a 'real' one!

How do I eat mine?  Slowly , by myself - I don't share chocolate!  (But I might let Scott have one since I got 4!!)

I'm on a chocolate high right now, since my mum sent me a couple big bars last week.  Perfectly timed, at the end of a long week and a frustrating day!

Ah, the little pleasures in life!!

Humble Yourself to End the Argument

 by Rick Warren

“What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” (James 4:1 NIV)

As I talk with couples, one of the most common complaints I hear from people is, “We just can't seem to get along. We argue so much. We love each other, so why is it we have major blowups over such minor issues?” I talk with parents who say, “With my kids there is constant tension. I don’t understand why we’re always in an argumentative mode.”

James doesn’t beat around the bush. Long before modern psychology came along, he had some profound insights on the cause of conflict. James 4:1 says, “What causes fights and quarrels among you? Don’t they come from your desires that battle within you?” James says that the cause of arguments is conflicting desires. When my wants conflict with your wants, the sparks are going to fly.

The Bible makes very clear that there are three basic desires we have that cause conflict: possessions, pleasure, and pride. These desires are legitimate and God-given unless they’re out of control. When you put them above other people and they become the most important things in your life, they will cause conflict.

So what is the cure for arguments? It’s one of the hardest lessons to learn: humility.

Grace is God’s power to change. What would you like to change about yourself? Whatever it is, you need grace to do it. What do you want to change about your relationships, your marriage, or your family? Whatever you would like to change, you can’t do it on your own. You need grace, and there is only one way to get it: You humble yourself. God doesn’t give grace to people who are full of pride and think, “I can do it on my own.” He gives it when we come and say, “God, I need your help.”

That's where you get the power to make the changes you want to see. 

Talk About It

• Think about the last argument you had. Can you identify which of the three desires was the cause?

• What one thing do you most want to change about yourself or your relationships? Do you believe that God’s grace can help you accomplish it?

• How will your conversations and actions change today if you take a humble approach?

Risky Business

Last night, as I sat down to read my Bible (it's been over a month now - every day!!), I started with Our Daily Bread, and this is what it said... 

John 14: 1-6

Jesus Comforts His Disciples  

“Do not let your hearts be troubled. You believe in God; believe also in me.  My Father’s house has many rooms; if that were not so, would I have told you that I am going there to prepare a place for you? And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going.” 

Jesus the Way to the Father 

Thomas said to him, “Lord, we don’t know where you are going, so how can we know the way?” Jesus answered, “I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.  

Life is a risky enterprise. Sometimes we fly high, enjoying great success. But then suddenly we fall into deep disappointments and the haunting reality of failure, leaving our hearts wondering if there is anything worth looking forward to. 

At a funeral recently, the pastor told the story about a trapeze artist. The performer admitted that although he is seen as the star of the show, the real star is the catcher—the teammate who hangs from another trapeze bar to grab him and guarantee a safe landing. The key, he explained, is trust. With outstretched arms, the flyer must trust that the catcher is ready and able to grab him. Dying is like trusting in God as the catcher. After we have flown through life, we can look forward to God reaching out to catch His followers and to pull us safely to Himself forever. I like that thought. 

This reminds me of Jesus’ comforting words to His disciples: “Let not your heart be troubled . . . . I go to prepare a place for you. And . . . I will come again and receive you to Myself; that where I am, there you may be also” (John 14:1-3). 

Life is indeed a risky business, but be encouraged! If you have put your faith in Jesus Christ, the Catcher is waiting at the end to take you safely home. 

Home from the earthly journey, 

Safe for eternity; 

All that the Savior promised— 

That is what heaven will be. 

—Anon.

Big Smile

Last night I was goofing around with the kids and my phone.  I decided to take a picture of me and Emma, which is easy because the phone I have has a camera on both sides so you can see the picture of yourself.  (Handy for self-portraits and in the absence of a mirror!)

In the first instance I said to Emma "big smile", which I always say, and she gave me one of her big beautiful smiles...

You're quite right, I look terrible, so I tried to take another one, and in the meantime Emma did this...

She loves to pull silly faces, but I'm pretty sure that she is not doing that here.  I think she is trying to make her smile go up instead of down.  Remember the chat we had a while back?  Well, given the amount of time she looks in the mirror and that normally she doesn't see the picture as we take it, I think that explains the extra effort to "smile".

Toby, not one to miss out on the action, joined us and Emma worked her smile.

Quite frankly it breaks my heart that she feels compelled to do this (even though it's understandable).  I want her to have such a sense of self-confidence in who God made her to be and how special she is, as she is, that she is comfortable to be herself.

Maybe I'm being selfish, because I don't want this feeling of utter helplessness that I get when I think my child is in pain (emotional or physical) and I can't change things.  I need to refocus on what I can do...

With incredible timing, this morning I read the following devotional (actually from yesterday!) and this is why I will do everything in my power to ensure that my children (and the rest of us!) get the message that God made us to be loved by him and without being open to receive that love, we will be a slave to our fear of rejection and the unrealistic expectations of others and yourself:

Let God's Love Save You from Fear 

by Rick Warren 

“Save me from the insults I fear ... I want to obey Your commands ... Show me how much you love me, Lord, and save me according to your promise. Then I can answer those who insult me.” 

(Psalm 119:39-42 GNT) 

The fear of rejection comes from all directions: your marriage, your family, your parents, at school, at work, from former friends, from disappointments, from criticisms, from a look. Have you ever seen a look kill somebody? Have you ever seen a parent manipulate a kid with an eyebrow? 

That’s the fear of rejection! And it can hinder your life in many ways.

The fear of rejection prevents us from giving and receiving love. Past hurts prevent future relationships. A guy says, “I got burned on a hot stove. I’ll never touch it again!” People say that about relationships: “I got burned in a marriage. I’ll never get married again!” The problem is, people are not stoves. They change. 

Your fear of rejection is based and rooted in two things. One is the idea that we all need to be loved. That's a fact. We do. We all desperately need massive doses of love in our lives to be healthy individuals. 

God says, “I want to love you.” God is love. You need to be loved. That is a deep profound need that you have. But what causes the fear of rejection is the false idea that we think that other people ought to be able to fully meet that need in our lives. When you expect somebody else to meet all your need for love, you're asking for trouble. You're setting yourself up for hurt. You're setting yourself up for rejection. 

You have to put God in first place, because he's the only one who can ultimately meet all your needs. Does God ever use other people? Sure. Does God ever love us through other people? Of course. Does God want us to love others? Yes. Does he want to use us as channels of love? Absolutely. But, you will never have all your needs met by any person or group of people. God never meant it to be that way. They just don't have enough love. Human love is limited. God's love is unlimited, unconditional. No matter how deep your need is, he can fill it. And he never runs dry. 

On the flipside, it is when we allow ourselves to receive God's love, we can be freed from these things that bind us...

There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love. 

1 John 4:18

The closer we get to knowing who God is and how much he loves us, the less we have to fear and the less we will need to wish we are something we are not.

Classic Kids

Our kids love to sing and dance as you can see here...



(While the thumb move was prompted, it was merely a request for what she had been doing before the video - all her own work!!)

Winner

On Saturday both kids participated at the Pinewood Derby at church.  (entries are cars carved out of a standard piece of pine wood, and adhering to a standard set of rules and regulations, then raced on a 50ft track).

Both Emma and Toby were in the "pre-school" category of 3-5 yr olds (I snuck Toby in!!)...

 

Yes, I helped Emma a little with decorating her car!

But Toby's was the one that got a trophy - 2nd prize in the category!

He really didn't care much about the trophy...

...but hasn't put the car down since!

My parents gave Toby this truck when he was a baby (before they had another grandson!) and I decided to give it to him today.  (He'll enjoy it more than looking at it on a shelf in years to come.)

He hasn't put it down and likes to talk about it a lot.

As you know, I've worried about his speech over the past year, and while he is doing great, I still fret.  Now it looks like we may need to get some help -fast.

Confused?  Let me put it simply, a lorry in the UK is called a truck here, in the US.  And Toby seems to replace the 't' with an 'f'...

Yeah, now you're getting it!!

American Women Crushed for Time: Have Themselves to Blame? (Study)

By Sarah B. Weir, Yahoo! blogger 

"Laundry will wait very patiently," wrote novelist Nora Roberts in What I Know Now About Success: Letters to my Younger Self. It's a lesson that the majority of American women have yet to learn. 

VIDEO: Stress Can Damage Women's Health
 
According to a new survey of more than 3,000 women conducted by Real Simple magazine and the Families and Work Institute (FWI), at least 50% of women say they don't have enough free time and more than 60% feel guilty spending what little time they do have on themselves. Surprisingly, 68% claim that work doesn't interfere with their personal lives. The full results are published in the April 2012 issue of the magazine.

Martha A., a former television producer who is now a freelance writer and stay-at-home mom, puts it this way, "When I had an office job, I felt my free time had to be spent on my kids, husband, and the house. Now that I'm at home, I feel guilty because of the nagging sense I don't deserve spending time on myself." Meanwhile, according to an executive summary of the survey, women see their lack of free time as the "main obstacle to achieving happiness."

At a panel discussion on the study, Ellen Galinsky, president of the FWI, said "Its like the new clean plate club." In addition to working and taking care of the kids, women feel they can't relax until all the household chores are complete. While the average husband's to do list encompasses two main jobs: repairs and yard work, the average wife's list contains at least eleven items from cooking, to cleaning, to managing household finances. "Your husband isn't going to say, 'You look really busy, you should have some free time,'" adds Galinsky.

Even though more men than ever are willing to participate in childcare and housework, women are loathe to delegate. Forty-five percent of women who say their partners have equally high standards refuse to cede control of tasks such as organizing and de-cluttering. "I love delegating," laughs Dida F., an accountant, "The question is will they actually do it? At the end of the day, I end up with doing the work."

Panel member Ruth Davis Konigsberg, editor of TIME Ideas, feels that women cling to their sense of authority in the domestic sphere and also acknowledges that men are great at "learned helplessness." Her solution? She advises women to walk away from chores they don't want to do. "It might not get done the way you want it to," she warns, "so, don't get upset about it." Panelist Amy Chua, author of Battle Hymn of the Tiger Mother, says she knows what she's good at and has figured out that "she's bad at a lot of things," including cooking and "anything to do with aesthetics." This allows her to let go of a number of household tasks. "It's liberating to realize what you can't do."

Chua adds that she "outsources chores right up to her income level." However, one of the survey's most surprising findings is that nearly 50% of women wouldn't hire household help if they could afford it and nearly 75% wouldn't hire additional childcare. While many working women feel emotionally tortured about not spending enough time with their children, research shows that even though women's labor force rates have gone up dramatically the last fifty years, women today actually spend on average four hours more a week on child care then they did in 1965. Emily B., mother of six-year-old twins and a university professor reassures others moms, "My children go to an after school program and I would be a very unhappy person, and thus an inferior mother, if they didn't."

So, how did women get themselves into this bind? One issue is that women fill so many different roles, they can always find an example of someone succeeding in ways that they aren't. Stay-at-home moms may feel insecure because they don't hold down paid jobs, and busy working moms cringe when another mother supplies homemade cupcakes for a kid's school birthday. Panelist Claire Shipman, ABC news correspondent, says it also goes back to the way girls are brought up. "Girls are raised to be perfect," she says. "Women are capable of being right most of the time, but at what cost?" Shipman advises women to focus on being "good enough." When you make the inevitable mistake? "Don't dwell, it's a waste of time. Move on."

The executive summary recommends that women get comfortable with delegating and actively scheduling in free time. And leisure time doesn't mean a multitasking mess of watching TV, checking emails, and folding laundry simultaneously. Konigsberg describes this as "contaminated free time" which does little to lower unhealthy stress levels and restore one's equilibrium. Merele B., a real estate broker, advises women to schedule in "me-time" on the family calendar. "I write down everything I want to do for myself just like the children's appointments and events. From exercise to manicures, nothing stands in the way, unless it's a serious emergency."

Galinsky recommends shifting one's mindset. "Many women see life as a marathon, but a better model is weight lifting." After working hard you need time to rest and recover. Real Simple reports that by maintaining the current paradigm, "Women are losing the opportunity to re-energize and bring real benefit to their lives."

IF YOU DIDN'T CLICK ON THE VIDEO LINK, DO IT NOW!

THE VIDEO

Picture Post

Last month went by so fast and I have probably forgotten all of the things I had wanted to tell you!  I'll try harder this month!  That said, here are some pictures from last month, snapshots into my beautifully crazy life with Emma and Toby...

A trip to the park with Joey, Kaylee, Lainey, Toby, Paige and Emma. Lainey and Paige are Scott's cousins daughters, who just moved back to our area and it's been fun to see the kids make friends.  Lainey and Emma are 8 months apart and Toby and Paige are pretty close too - but as you can see, they don't pair off by age!

 

Emma, after school (and some time playing in the dirt) had a tell-tale trail of mud on her face!

Scott's rennovating a basement in his free-time right now, so on one of my less energized nights I took the kids out for dinner...

They have been getting along so well lately (most of the time!), and I love seeing them play - even when it gets loud.  She's not strangling him - she'd trying to pull him in for a hug for the picture!

 Since baby Sophia came along, Emma is much more interested in baby dolls (or "beebies" as Toby says it!).  Here "Sophia" was taking a bath...

"Mommy" Emma loves her baby.  Oh yes, she's wearing a bathing suit, in February.  She took her nap wearing it too!  (I'm learning to choose my battles!)

Here Toby and Kaylee give some "cheese" to the camera at a birthday party!

Last Friday I [bravely] took the kids back to the soft playground as a treat for being so good when mommy has to go to work!  There were about 5 other kids total and my guys had a blast!

 I've noticed something start to happen with Emma.  She loves to say "hello" to people, especially other kids, and moms, at the playground.  Usually they ask her her name and she tells them.

However, due to the paralysis of her top lip, she can't really say "m", and people hear "Enna" and translate it to "Anna".  She has come to me more than once and said "she thinks my name is Anna."  (We won't go into our last name, which also starts with an m sound!)

I thought a good solution would be for her to spell it - the m sound is a little clearer when isolated.

So the last time we were at the playground she had said hi to someone and before the even asked her name she ran over to me and said "Mom, you tell her my name and I will spell it."   This is a clear example of how Emma does not seem to get upset or frustrated by things, rather seeking assistance!

Of course, my heart broke, but rather than try out her new strategy, I just said "Em, she didn't ask your name, she just said "Hi"!"  I don't know if that was the right thing to do - it was the truth, the mom had carried on following her own kid!  Trouble is, I'm not sure anyone can tell me the right way to handle this kind of thing.

It really stinks that my baby can't say her own name properly - but I won't let her know that!  It's just one of those obstacles we will overcome - she can always switch to "Hope" if she wants.

Since it was a special day, we hit Chick Fil A for lunch (special in that there was a 'y' in the day!!)

This past weekend Scott and I attended a conference called "Love & Respect".  I can't wait to share some of the details with you later this week!!

Deb

Classic Emma

Moving on

I have a 3" ringbinder that contains all of the visit summary's from Emma's specialist appointments, and the session reports from evey single therapy session she had until she was 3.  I figure someday she might want to see just how far she's come.

Earlier today I was putting away some of these reports and one was her discharge summary from the NICU, on February 27, 2008.  It was not so much of a surprise that it was four years ago - it seems like that was another lifetime.  

What really surprised me was that I had totally forgotten the anniversary yesterday.  In the past few years I've heralded the day as one of our triumphs, finally bringing Emma home.

I think it's even more of a testimony that Emma has come so very far that the her medical history is kind of the last thing on my mind!

Since she had her g-tube removed, not once has she complained of bellyache.  In fact yesterday she let out a loud burp in the car.  I laughed and said "got some gas have you?"  She responded laughing at me with "You can't vent me, I don't have a tube!" 

The only regular "intervention" that she gets is physical therapy once a week, and Pops takes her to that when I'm working.  The dentist, opthamologist and even ENT are standard for many kids.  The cranial-facial team don't want to see her again until May 2013!

Life is so very different now than it was even a year ago and Emma herself is so confident and couldn't be sweeter. 

What a wonderful milestone to reach, four years and so very different!

World Rare Disease Day

The Moebius Syndrome Foundation is proud to participate in Rare Disease Day on February 29.  As one of the 7,000 rare disorders which affects less than 6,000 people worldwide, our members are pleased to join with NORD and other foundations and rare disorder support organizations to help educate the public about the challenges of living with a rare disorder.  Together we are strong!

More information on on Rare Disease Day activities in the US:

www.rarediseaseday.us

Information on international Rare Disease activities: 

www.rarediseaseday.org

Sky-diving

It was a pretty low-key weekend. Ballet for Emma on Saturday morning,
while Toby and Scott hung out at home. Then Scott went to work until
dinner time, when I went to church.

Sunday was relaxed too, I went to church at 8:15 am because I was
serving, and Scott brought the kids in around 9:30am. After church
the plan was lunch, then nap, then off to a friends birthday party.

The party had been a topic of laughter as it was the same house where
a few weeks ago Toby split his head open. We joked about him wearing
a helmet etc, not really expecting anything to happen again.

So when I brought the kids home after church (Scott stayed behind to
finish "ushering") it was the same process as any other day. Get them
out of the van, coral them up the steps and in the back door.

As he has many times before, Toby climbed up on to the iron bars that
act as a railing around the top of the steps. He does it so often I
guess I'd given up saying "be careful, you might fall."

And if I was a better/more vigilant/consistent/ (insert your choice of
word here) parent I would have made him get down and enter the house
before me. Well, I didn't. So one minute I can see him from the
corner of my eye where I stood in the kitchen, the next second he's
not there.

It took me a second or two to realize that he hadn't come inside
before I ran out the door (in my socks!) and around to the far side of
the steps where Toby was picking himself up off the dirt! I was
thankful he did that since I would not have known whether to move him
or not - seeing as he just fell head first (presumably, since his head
weighs a good 20lbs) at least 5 feet.

I brought him inside (where Emma was watching curiously from a safe
distance) and sat him on the counter to try and get a look at his
face. Sure enough it seemed as though his gums were bleeding a little
but after some water they were fine. No signs of any cuts, bruises or
trauma - he was ready for action again right away.

I had been warned about the block that my little chip came off
(Scott!), and how he was a daredevil as a kid and I don't think was
ever seriously hurt. So between us we have a dramatic talker and an
angel-faced dare-devil!! Our parents will be laughing for years to
come at the poetic justice of it all!

Let's Bowl

In recent summers, bowling has become a favorite past time of mine, and the kids.  It's free all summer for kids, and is accessible for all kinds of strength levels.

We've been taking them quite regularly lately because it's quick (5 minutes from home, and a game takes about 45minutes!), and we can interact with them during our time.  We went a few days ago, when Scott was feeling better, and here are some pictures...(I can't believe how cute my kids are, in my opinion, so I'm always taking pictures!!)

 

Check out Toby's bowling shoes - his first time, now his feet are big!! 

 Emma tried to tap dance in hers!

 Scott and I played too, for once, on the lane next to them...

And I won!!!(I know, he was still sick!!)

Write us!

We love to hear about how A Story of Hope has encouraged others, and are more than happy to answer questions (if we can). 

And now you can email us directly at ehmnews@gmail.com!!

Not so soft

As you might have guessed, last week was a bit busy, and I have not had time to tell you about all that happened, so here goes...

On Tuesday evening we headed to Mrs. T.'s Valentine dinner.  Mrs T and family have known Scott since high school, and loved him through his dark times.  When we had Emma they loved us like no-one else could, and this dinner helps me to remember love is more than just our significant other, it's about friends and family too.  

I have looked forward to the dinner every year since I was first invited.  Mrs. T. makes heart-shaped meatloaf, steak, mashed potatoes and sides, before dessert of heart-shaped red velvet cake, cookies and pumpkin roll (my favorite - she makes the best!).

But the meal is only part of what makes it special - she decorates like most people do for a birthday, and there are love-themed gifts for everyone, including the kids.  

After dinner, Toby and Landon ran riot around the house, while Emma (to cool for two-year olds) started with her new coloring book!  They are all growing so fast, and next year there will be two new grandkids for Mrs. T, so the house will be full!

Scott made it to dinner even though he was starting to get sick with a nasty cold that wiped him out for much of the week.  He ended up sleeping as soon as the kids went to bed (and the Bratwurst I bought on Wednesday made it to Saturday - yeah, he was that sick!) 

In the end he got some antibiotics on Saturday, but we can't be sure if thats what he needs.  Nonetheless, after sleeping through the weekend, he is back at work (and overtime) this week - he's a warrior!!

Back to Thursday, and Emma had an appointment at ENT (Otolaryngology or "Ear, Nose and Throat").  When we went back in November, she had an ear infection and failed her hearing test (a little, nothing major), and we were told to come back and re take it.

Then in January she seemed to be saying "what?" a lot more and had me concerned for her hearing. So I was glad to go back last week.  We got there a half hour early, and thankfully were allowed in early.  The doctor came in and asked rapid-fire questions, before taking a look in Emma's ears and declaring there was mucus in there.  

I was not surprised, she has a cold.  Emma was disappointed - because it was clearly obstructed, there was no point in doing the hearing test (which I refer to as listening games, and she enjoys!).

We have to go back in 6 weeks and if she has not "dried out" then tubes (ear this time). It's not only hearing that's affected, but speech also and she doesn't need anymore issues to deal with.

If that wasn't enough, she seems to be having hearing issues again now, so she's going to our doctor tomorrow to see if the mucus has lead to an ear infection.

Like I said, Scott went back to work today, but it was President's Day, so many people were off, including me. A few friends and I agreed to meet at the indoor playground with our kids.  As I arrived there it was clear many others had the same idea, with a line out the door!

We carried on in, it would've been tough to tell the kids they couldn't go in.  It was very busy, but Emma seemed happy to go play and in the end Toby went off with some of the other kids too.  (There's only one way in and out and we had the exit manned!)

At one point I was watching both kids in different areas of the soft-play and saw Emma fall where she was.  I didn't move immediately, but once I could see she hadn't popped back up I moved fast.  (I've been in there enough to know my way through the maze-like levels.).  I was sure I could hear her crying over the noise of the other kids running around.

When I reached her, she was laying on her belly and I swooped in (come on, you know I was moving like the wind ;-) and picked her up turning her over.  It was then that I saw the blood in her mouth, on her face and on the mat.

I had no tissues on me, and froze not knowing whether to get her out of there or try and clean-up the mat first (well, it's gross leaving blood where people are crawling on hands and knees).  I looked at the mom of two litle girls who had come across the scene and she offered me no answer, just a concerned look. 

I opted to go and carried Emma in my arms.  I wasn't sure of the safest way to get her out - she was crying so hard she would not have moved her self.  I opted for the nearest slide!  

When we got to the bottom I ran over to my friend and said "she's bleeding and I don't know where!"  (My other friend later said she feared the worst because I was carrying Emma like a baby!) She followed me over to a quiet area and grab some napkins.  We quickly determined that  Emma had split her lip, probably hit her chin when she fell.  The bleeding stopped and I wiped her face, now covered in a mix of blood and the tears she was trying to wipe away!

I was shaking with adrenalin, and though it could have happened anytime, we all decided it was time to go - with three 2 year olds, it was getting a little hectic.  While we rounded up the kids I saw a little blonde girl (a dead ringer for one of my nieces) looking around, crying, blood running from her nose.

I knew immediately that it was the little girl who had been with her mom and sister where Emma fell.  They ended up following us out as the girls were worried about Emma!  I ran over to her and looked around for her mom, in the pink jacket.  She was with her other daughter outside the play area and I took the little girl over to her mom.

We were both in disbelief that both girls had ended up like this just a few minutes apart, the other little girl with a bloody nose.  I was pleased that out of Emma's suffering, I was able to help the other girl when no-one else knew who her mom was.  (Is it odd, or is it God?!)

When we tried to leave I thought I'd lost sight of Toby and had a panic-filled 2 minutes.  He was 4 feet away on a video game, but I've never been so scared.  I reaffirmed my previous position of never taking both kids somewhere like that without Scott!

Later in the evening (no, it does not end there!) I had been putting laundry in the machine in the basement, only to find the door locked when I came back up!  It's a french door, with glass panels, but I did not want to break glass if I could avoid it.  The kids seemed to not be able to unlock it (even though surely one of them had locked it?).  I managed to get Emma to bring me my cellphone and slide it under the door.  As I called Scott Emma unlocked the door quickly and easily.  Sure enough, she'd locked me in the basement. 

And there it is, my week, give or take.  But you know what, it was a great week and I am enjoying the freedom of being imperfect, but covered by Christ!

Good breeding

My parents definitely brought me up right - this morning I said "thank you" to an automated voice recording on a phone call to an airline!

That's not a joke - it really happened!!

Pride before a fall

Last night Scott blessed me by listening.  That might sound like a simple thing, but when you talk as much as I do, finding someone to listen can be tough!!  Not to mention that I seem to pick the worst time to want to talk - like the end of the night when he has work the next day!

You can gather from my previous post I've been struggling with insecurities and feeling overwhelmed.  As I shared this with Scott he said the words I didn't know I'd been waiting to hear: "I don't want you to do that anymore.  I'll take care of it."

Sure, it sounds like a perfect solution, for someone else to take a responsibility off your shoulders. Not something I handle well.  And before Saturday night I could not have told you why.

On Saturday, one of my more "Eeyore" days (you know, black cloud following me around and a pessimism to rival the worst), our church launched Celebrate Recovery.  This is a ministry to people with "hurts, hang-ups and habits".  Easily, I brushed it off as a place for addicts and victims, not me.

In fact I persuaded Scott (who wanted to go and support the CR team) that we should go bowling instead.  Unfortunately the bowling alley had a fundraiser on and we could not get in,  With two kids eager to go out and always happy to go to church I had no excuse, so we went.

I am so glad we did.  In a room with 6 other women, some I knew and some I didn't, I shared a story I've told many times before, but this time in light of the question "How has pride stopped me from asking for help and getting help to overcome my hurts, habits and hang-ups?"

Over the next 24 hours I meditated on that question, like a cow chewing on cud!  As I shared my feelings with Scott last night a light bulb went on inside me.

I find myself overwhelmed with my responsibilities frequently because I take on too much.  When someone asks for my help it activates my pride switch and I usually agree, no matter what else is going on.  It makes me feel like I'm needed, good at something and worthy to fulfill a task I am given.  So my pride prevents me from taking a minute to ask "how will this affect the time I have for other people or other responsibilities?" 

One of my [bad] habits is perfectionism.  That doesn't mean I'm perfect (but you knew that), it does mean that I feel compelled to do something perfectly or not at all. When I have too many responsibilities, each one becomes a source of anxiety because I can not devote the time needed to do it "perfectly".

The inevitable impact is I am left tired and running ragged, which is not fair to my family, or to God (with whom I then spend the least amount of time).  I am robbed of my peace and joy - to which I am promised in JEsus Christ.

Still not sure what I'm talking about?  Check out this excerpt from Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World...

An Overloaded Wagon

The story is told of a man who met God in a lovely valley one day.  ”How are you this morning?” God asked the fellow. “I’m fine, thank you,” the man replied. “Is there anything I can do for you today?”

“Yes, there is,” God said. “I have a wagon with three stones in it, and I need someone to pull it up the hill for me. Are you willing?

“Yes I’d love to do something for you. Those stones don’t look very heavy, and the wagon’s in good shape. I’d be happy to do that. Where would you like me to take it?”

God gave the man specific instructions, sketching a map in the dust at the side of the road. “Go through the woods and up the road that winds up the side of the hill. Once you get to the top, just leave the wagon there. Thank you for your willingness to help me today.”

“No problem!” the man replied and set off cheerfully. The wagon pulled a bit behind him, but the burden was an easy one. He began to whistle as he walked quickly through the forest. The sun peeked through the trees and warmed his back. What a joy to be able to help the Lord, he thought, enjoying the beautiful day.

Just around the third bend, he walked into a small village. People smiled and greeted him. Then, at the last house, a man stopped him and asked, “How are you this morning? What a nice wagon you have. Where are you off to?”

“Well, God gave me a job this morning, I’m delivering these three stones to the top of the hill.”

“My goodness! Can you believe it? I was just praying this morning about how I was going to get this rock I have up to the top of the mountains,” the man told him with great excitement. “You don’t suppose you could take it up there for me? It would be such an answer to prayer.”

The man with the wagon smiled and said, “Of course. I don’t suppose God would mind. Just put it behind the other three stones.” Then he set off with three stones and a rock rolling behind him.

The wagon seemed a bit heavier. He could feel the jolt of each bump, and the wagon seemed to pull to one side a bit. The man stopped to adjust the load as he sang a hymn of praise, pleased to be helping out a brother as he served God. Then he set off again and soon reached another small village at the side of the road.  A good friend lived there and offered him a glass of cider.

“You’re going to the top of the hill?” his oldest friend asked.

“Yes! I am so excited. Can you imagine, God gave me something to do!”

“Hey!” said his friend. “I need this bag of pebbles taken up. I’ve been so worried that it might not get taken care of since I haven’t any time to do it myself. But you could fit it in right between the three stones here in the middle.” With that, he placed his burden in the wagon.

“Shouldn’t be a problem,” the man said. “I think I can handle it.” He finished the cider, then stood up and brushed his hands on his overalls before gripping the handle of the wagon. He waved good-bye and began to pull the wagon back onto the road.

The wagon was definitely tugging on his arm now, but it wasn’t uncomfortable. As he started up the incline, he began to feel the weight of the three stones, the rock, and the pebbles. Still, it felt good to help a friend. Surely God would be proud of how energetic and helpful he’d been.

One little stop followed another, and the wagon grew fuller and fuller. The sun was hot above the man pulling it, and his shoulders ached with the strain. The songs of praise and thanksgiving that had filled his heart had long since left his lips as resentment began to build inside. Surely this wasn’t what he had signed up for that morning. God had given him a burden heavier than he could bear….

The wagon felt huge and awkward as it lumbered and swayed over the ruts in the road. Frustrated, the man was beginning to have visions of giving up and letting the wagon roll backward. God was playing a cruel game with him. The wagon lurched, and the load of obligations collided with the back of his legs, leaving bruises. “This is it!” he fumed. “God can’t expect me to haul this all the way up the mountain.”

“Oh God,” he wailed. “This is too hard for me! I thought you were behind this trip, but I am overcome by the heaviness of it. You’ll have to get someone else to do it. I’m just not strong enough.”

As he prayed, God came to his side. “Sounds like you’re having a hard time. What’s the problem?”

“You gave me a job that is too hard for me,” the man sobbed. “I’m just not up to it!” God walked over to where the wagon was braced with a stone. “What is this?” He held up the bag of pebbles.

“That belongs to John, my good friend. He didn’t have time to bring it up himself.  I thought I would help.”

“And this?” God tumbled two pieces of shale over the side of the wagon as the man tried to explain.

God continued to unload the wagon, removing both light and heavy items. They dropped to the ground, the dust swirling up around them. The man who had hoped to help God grew silent. “If you will be content to let others take their own burdens,” God told him, “I will leave these things lying here.”

“But I promised I would help! I can’t leave these things lying here.”

“Let others shoulder their own belongings,” God said gently. “I know you were trying to help, but when you are weighted down with all these cares, you cannot do what I have asked of you.”

The man jumped to his feet, suddenly realizing the freedom God was offering. “You mean I only have to take the three stones after all?” he asked.

“That is what I asked you to do.” God smiled. “My yoke is easy, and my burden is light. I will never ask you to carry more than you can bear.”

“I can do that!” said the man, grinning from ear to ear. He grabbed the wagon handle and set off once again, leaving the rest of the burdens beside the road. The wagon still lurched and jolted lightly, but he hardly noticed.

A new song filled his lips, and he noticed a fragrant breeze wafting over the path. With great joy, he reached the top of the hill. It had been a wonderful day, for he had done what the Lord had asked.

Parent Participation

I have been kind of looking forward to today.  It was parent participation day at Emma's ballet class!

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm no prima ballerina, as graceful as a three-legged elephant is more like it!  However, I can see where struggles and wanted this time to share her joy.

I was pleased to be woken by the phone this morning, to be told class was delayed an hour because of some snow, but in reality it was less than ideal since Emma's group was merged with the 10am class, leaving about 20 kids and 20 parents!!

We spent an hour doing warm-ups, and some ballet and tap moves.  The girls will have a recital in May, performing tap dancing to a song.  We practiced it today and it involved some coordination at speed.  I tried to help Emma refine her moves, without being a "pushy mom".

It was much harder work than I anticipated, I almost broke a sweat!  No wonder Emma was saying she was tired by the end of the class.  If nothing else it will help her stamina.

I think it helped with one of my [current] major anxieties.  I've long known that I am not the most playful parent, but I feel really guilty that I sometimes avoid playing with my kids.  In particular, Emma is constantly (given one free minute) begging anyone and everyone to play dolls house with her in her room.

We join in as often as possible.  I really try and join in but it's just awkward for me (which confuses me because I loved playing with Lego in much the same way until I was quite old!).

So now I'm trying to think of things to take the kids out to do so I'm not wrestling between doing the chores I need to get done and playing with the kids (which I want to do, but don't know how!).

Surely there's a balance between playing with the kids and letting them play by themselves, which also allows us to keep the rest of our responsibilities in check.  I don't know what that is and become paralysed with fear that if I don't play with my kids enough they will not know how much I love them,  Clearly something's gotta give!

It's something I really have to pray about - being able to fulfill all my responsibilities and trusting God that our kids will understand how loved they are, and that when we weren't playing with them, we were still looking out for their best interests.

Man, this parenthood gig is way more complicated than it looks!!

Quote of the day

Julie texted me this one:

Emma: soooo Julie?

Julie: Yes Emma

Emma: so how did Sophia come out of your belly, did she climb out?

Julie: Ask your mom

Making friends

Welcome!

Say hello to my new baby niece, Sophia!

She arrived yesterday evening weighing in at 8lbs 8oz.  She's been in the NICU because of her glucose levels, but is alert and feeding well.

Mom, Scott's sister Julie, is doing well.

I can't wait to see her, but of course I got a stinking cold yesterday!

Julie also told me that when she was having contractions and crying the other day, Emma asked Ellen why.  Ellen told her "Because Sophia is coming" to which Emma responded "Well why is she crying, we want Sophia to come?!"

Life is so simple for kids!

I do it too!

Classic Toby...