Ball boy

The weeks are flying by!  Every Monday Emma has speech therapy right after school.  Every Tuesday evening I have a women's bible study and every other Tuesday Scott leads a men's bible study at church.  On Wednesdays Emma has gymnastics and Toby has baseball practice or a game.  Many Thursdays Scott works late.  Fridays usually have something happening.

There are plenty of little stories along the way, moments of joy, tears and laughter, but the earth is spinning too fast for me to blog them all!

Anyway, today (Saturday) I made it to Toby's baseball game.  (Did I mention he played last night also?!)  I say made it because Emma does not like to come and rather than listen to whining, I keep her home.  Thankful that Scott's parents had her over today!

He's playing great and also showing his social side.  I got some great pictures for y'all...

Scott and I don't go out on dates that often, but our schedules have been so full lately with tball and gymnastics, bible studies etc, we are trying to make more time to get out and actually do things!

Friday night we splurged and hit the movies on a double date with our good friends, for opening night of The Avengers!  (These movies are almost as good as James Bond!!)

Awww, aren't we cute?!

I totally embarrassed him by making him get a picture with me, but there aren't that many so he was a good sport!!

I can't believe this month we celebrate 9 years of marriage.  Each year is seriously better than the last as we learn more, trust more and share more.  #iamblessed

Last night, as we were hanging out with friends, Emma announced that on Tuesday, in wellness class, as they were discussing what things you might be allergic to, Emma's friend had suggested Moebius Syndrome.

It stopped me dead in my tracks of course.  I asked what the teacher said (it wasn't her homeroom teacher) and apparently she countered with the fact that you can't be allergic to Moebius.  I asked Emma how she felt about the whole thing and she said that her friend didn't understand Moebius very well, that you are born with it.  I left it at that, for the time being.

Since I have a relationship with the friend's mom, I sent her a quick message on Facebook, explaining Emma's story and asking her to explain that Moebius is not a sickness, not contagious and you are born with it.  She replied this morning, apologetic and assured me they would talk.  Apparently her daughter does not fully understand allergies.  (Who does?!)

I got another message a bit later and she explained why she had said it.  The mom has been suffering with terrible spring allergies and since Emma has been coughing a lot lately, her friend thought maybe she was allergic to that. 

Quite an interesting theory, but totally plausible.  Emma thinks she's allergic to the sun because she sneezes when it's really bright, as she can't squint and rarely covers her eyes! 

Regardless of whether there was any malicious intent, the key thing I am learning is the importance of my reaction, with both Emma and involved parties.  I did contact her teacher to make sure the other teachers understand Moebius so they can answer such questions.  I wanted to talk informally to the girls mom rather than bring in the school counselor, because I know her and think that is the preferable way at times.  With Emma, I kept calm and dropped it until I could give her resolution.  I will not ignore these things, but heightening emotions would be foolish until more facts can be established.

More and more I realize that education and grace are the primary requirements for giving Emma better opportunities.  I want her to know that anger is not a necessary response to ignorance.  After all, unforgiveness holds us as prisoner because we are consumed with anger and desire for retribution.  Grace does not excuse their actions, it seeks to understand and address in love. 

Moving forward

Emma is in her 11/12th week of gymnastics.  She has tried everything and continues to do her best surrounded by little girls who look (to me anyway) like they could compete.  Tonight they did a new thing and she went for it, and I was so proud...

The beauty of a moment in time is that you can't see the struggle for her to get up and the moment her arms buckled and she slid her head down to do a head stand.  And neither will she when she looks back at these!!

The one thing I had so far been unable to persuade her to try was flipping over the bar.  This was as far as she would go...

(I failed to remember that at her age, I too refused to spin around the bar!  I forget exactly how old I was when I first did it, but I was pretty big.  I can still do it now though!)

So at the end of class, because it was very quiet and her teacher was not busy, I asked Emma if she would try if I came over with her.  She agreed and the teacher was all for it.  When we got to the bar she was very scared, so I dangled a carrot in front of her - well, ice-cream actually!  She did it!  Then I told her she needed to try it one more time. She did.

Then I told her she must do it one more time so I could video it for Daddy (and you)!

She was very close to tears after.  But she moved on.  I told her I wanted her to do it at least once each week.  It's not easy pushing your child past their comfort zone, but every baby bird has to get kicked out of a nest in order to fly.

My next goal is to help her with her cartwheels.  I personally can not do them, but I've been watching and paying attention to how the teachers support the kids.  It's worth a try and you never know!

Gone Fishing

This morning I went on a little fishing trip with Emma...

Me: What do you do at recess?

Em: Walk around.

Me: with who?

Em: by myself. 

(Her teacher had told me about this, so I try and monitor it.  She doesn't like to run around in crowds - she's not as agile and has no peripheral vision, so I can't blame her!)

Me: how do you feel when you are walking around by yourself?

Em: peaceful.  It's much quieter than the cafeteria - it's so loud at lunch.

Did your heart break too?  The good thing is this seems to be her choice, and if not, she has a positive outlook on it. 

I could try and push her to play with other kids all the time (she says she does play "hospital" with a few girls sometimes), but I don't want her to think that she needs to be with other kids all the time, that somehow being alone is wrong. 

Emma is not unaware that if you want other kids to play with you, you might have to follow their lead and not dictate the game yourself.  I believe she is choosing instead of following, and that is a great thing.

We have to stop assuming that social interaction needs to be the priority 24/7.  It's no wonder kids get so upset when friendships struggle, because we teach them that they need to be popular!

Growing old gracefully

Well, another year older, and hopefully wiser.

How to celebrate this 36th year?  Well, I opted to have a quiet backyard hangout with a few friends on Saturday night, and had Scott hang up a cheap dartboard outside, and set up the fire pit for making s'mores (roasted marshmallow and chocolate between two crackers).

Since the kids were quite upset about not getting to roast marshmallows we decided to have the family over on Sunday night too!  So Scott's parents, sister Kim (plus boyfriend Derek), nephew Josiah and a couple of our friends came over.

And since I opted for s'mores instead of a cake (because there's cake at every party!), I let everyone forget to sing to me - but they remembered when there was one marshmallow left.  Scott also altered Emma's 7 candle for me to blow out!

The older I get the more I feel that time is the most precious gift you can give someone, or get.  I was excited to have dinner with one of my best friends last Saturday, lunch with another dear friend on Saturday and two backyard parties with family and friends.  

I also find I increasingly miss the chance to spend such times with my family, especially as our kids get older, but we are holding on to hope of visiting in the not too distant future.  We'll have to pack a few years worth of memories into a short space of time again!

Two weeks and it will be Mother's Day, which is almost like a second birthday!  Then our 9th (!!!) wedding anniversary, before Father's Day and Scott's birthday, all in two months!  This is definitely a celebration of us!

A precious gift

When we got home tonight we had a letter from the school district.  I don't know why I always tend to assume the worst, but this was definitely not bad news...

We've thought for a long time that Emma has shown signs of "giftedness" but thankfully not in a socially awkward kind of way.  We have a questionnaire to complete to assist in the evaluation, which will determine if she needs additional attention more than she gets in normal class.  

My initial reaction was one of anxiety - I couldn't remember all the specific examples we are asked for, like I need to prove that she is gifted!  Then I realized the insanity of that.  It's not a label she "needs" like getting medical insurance!  I'll answer as best I can and see what happens. 

It would be a cool letter to get for any parent, but wow, we didn't see this coming 7 years ago!!  It's truly amazing how life can be more than you ever expected.

My little cheerleader

After several weeks of after school practice, Emma's "club" put on a show for the families tonight!





So proud of her, and I love the way she throws herself into everything she does.  There's no fear of looking silly or not being good enough!  I wish I could have a teaspoon of that!!

Here she is with a few of her favorite classmates, teacher and principal!

Today is Wacky Wednesday

This girl was born a kitten but magically became a kitten with a human head.  Crazy right!!

The kids are supposed to eat breakfast in the dining room (at the table), but they have adapted!

So they can watch the TV!

Busy little bees!

Emma had her first oral placement therapy today.  It involves a lot of biting and jaw strengthening exercises.  She NEVER chews on her right side, so that is a big area we have to work on and well as encouraging her to try to move her lips.

I'm not going to lie, this is not how I would like to spend $200 per month, however it is more important than anything else we would be doing with the money.  It also, coincidentally, works out quite perfectly that it's about the same as Toby's tuition which he won't need after May.

Emma is also on her last week of gymnastics and has said she'd like to do it again.  So, it looks like we'll sign her up for that through the end of June - right when we will be swimming at the pool every day.  Again, it's expensive stuff, but $20 per week on Emma's strength and fitness - with her enthusiasm! - it's a steal.  Some people spend that on fancy coffee each week!!

All this is requiring a lot more discipline on our part, especially if we want to do other things.  Rather than resenting it, we are thankful that we have been learning to let go of things that aren't important to invest in things that are.  But we make sure we still enjoy life, with financial peace!

You can't ever be completely prepared for a big emergency, but if we can get consistent in our habits, we stand a greater chance of weathering a storm.  Beyond that, we've seen our God come through in epic ways and believe He remains with us.

T-Ball

Toby entered the arena of athletes this past weekend with a parade and first game for the White Sox!  And who better to coach this child prodigy than his amazing Dad!!  

He's playing T-Ball, which is like baseball except little kids hit the ball off a giant tee!  They play for 2 innings (baseball has 9 innings, plus extra if a tie), no one gets out, no score is kept and no one wins - at least not yet!  However, Scott had those 5/6 year olds engaged and fully participating, like he'd been doing it all his life!

Since Toby is #1 (he got to pick his shirt first!) he was the first batter in the first inning, and the last in the second, which meant he got to run round all the bases after his hit - a home run, sort of!!

Here's the day in pictures!

This is his buddy Dillon, who lives across the street - Scott arranged for him to be on our team.

 Toby told Scott here that he was scared because the other team looked good!  But he overcame it!

and he's been telling everyone about his home run!!

Game one over.

I think we have 12 games to play in the next two months!  Some weeks there are three, others one or none!  Then there's additional practices when Scott can squeeze them in.  It will be busy until June around here!

Making progress

This weekend marked my 3 months on Weight Watchers, and I've done pretty well...

I never expected 20lbs that quick, but it was steady and I've been able to enjoy my favorite foods.  

I'm now at the top end of my healthy weight range, so I've a little more to go until I start just maintaining.

The best part is the freedom in understanding that I'm a food addict!  Sounds cuckoo, but just like other addictions, food impacts your body chemistry and sugar especially is addictive.  You can't stop eating of course, so I'm in the process of retraining my brain and my relationship with food.

I feel so empowered and healthy for the first time in a long time.  It's not a diet, it's going to be a lifelong journey, there will be no "not thinking about what I eat".  

Sure, I will have struggles and fails, but getting right back on track instead of wallowing in guilt and frustration is key.

This is as much for my kids as myself.  I want them to have a healthy relationship with food, not use it as a coping mechanism or friend!

Resurrection

Has it been almost two weeks since my last post?  Wow, that shows you how busy we've been.  No time to sit and write.  Thankful for some time to chill on this most thought-provoking day.

As you might expect we went to church today, or all least three of us did - Toby had a fever and has been battling a tummy bug, so Nanna and Pops kindly watched him while the rest of us went.

Emma was excited to wear her new dress, and first pair of heels!

She was adorable trying to walk in the wedges.  And excited we were both wearing similar sandals!

Easter is a big event in any church.  Easter Sunday (or resurrection Sunday if you want to point out that the word Easter has no relevance!) is the day that celebrates our hope.  The birth of Christ is super important, and the sacrificial death of Christ, bearing the weight and consequence of your sin and mine, that's big too.  But Sunday, the empty tomb, is our hope.

Without the resurrection, death is the final word.  But look carefully - death was the punishment for sin, before sin, death was not an issue.  So, while Jesus allowed not only the physical display of God's wrath to be laid on him, but all the weight of our sin on his mind.  You know, the torturous agony of guilt, shame and deception.  The same feelings that drove Judas to kill himself!  Christ also bore that agony on the cross.

And then he died.  For two days that seemed like the end.  The body was buried, the disciples, scared for their own lives, locked themselves in a room.  They'd seen Lazarus raised from the dead - but Jesus was the one who did it!  Resurrection was not on their mind, it was over.

But on the third day, the women find the tomb inexplicably open, and are told by angels that he is risen.  He the. Appeared inside the locked room, to the disciples, a fully present physical being - not a ghost or mirage!  They touched him, hugged him and saw his wounds.

What does that mean?  It means that Christ overcame death, it could not hold him and he came back. 

Christ died so that you would not have to face the final judgement for your sins - he took your place.  The only response that is required - and a response to the message of Easter is required, you can't ignore the reason - the only response is will you believe?  And will you follow?

Believe that there is a God and whether in thought, or speech, or action, you have broken his law.  The sentence is death, eternal separation from God (which is hell).  You can stand trial for yourself, or you can believe that Christ is your substitute and your debt was paid by him.

Then what?  So you believe that to be true, what next?  Well, given that God gave his only son to die, so that you wouldn't have to, and so that you could have a relationship with God, I would say that the next step is to follow.  As you ask God to show you how you can express your thanks and love to him, he will reveal the things in your life that you need to lay down.  Distractions, sins, harmful habits.  He will transform you inside to the person he created you to be.

He doesn't ask you to be good, he doesn't ask you to be a bible thumper!  He just asks that you seek him.  Pick up a bible, read it.  Talk to him, pray.  Confess your weaknesses to him, he will strengthen you.

Because without Jesus resurrection and gift of eternal life, there is no hope for any of us.

On Tuesday (March 24) there will be a Moebius family featured on the US TV show The Doctors - it's a medical talk show on NBC.  I don't know if I'll be home in time to see it, but I'm hoping it will be online after and I'll post the link!

Obedience.

Obedience. It's such an emotive word! We picture dog training or strict teachers in the classroom! But that is not the whole picture.

As a parent you soon learn the importance of obedience. Your past,experiences and big world perspective often mean you have more wisdom than your children. You have a road map that avoids pitfalls, valleys and cliff edges, that if only they would follow, their life would be blessed.

But they fight, struggle and resist! Why? The bible says we are all born with a "sin nature", a rebelliousness that seeks independence and its own fulfillment. (It is an hereditary condition, inherited through the ages from Adam and Eve!)

Oh, if only they would listen the first time! Even if you are not a parent, you can look back and think of ways you might advise your younger self to go a different path.

The bible is very clear that we reap what we sow, and we reap from where we sow. Many of us learn that the hard way. When we sow our time, money and energy into our self and selfish desires, it can often lead to brokenness, emptiness, destroyed relationships and ultimately unfulfilment.

Jesus said that if we love him, we will obey him. When I think of this command I also hear this : if you believe me, you will trust me.  If we believe that God is all powerful, and that his heart is for us.
In order to follow Jesus, you first must believe that he loves you, unconditionally - which he demonstrated in dying for you.

So, if we believe, then we follow, we obey. How we are to obey God is not some great mystery! He has given us an extensive guide of parental wisdom, aimed not at curbing our pleasure in life, but in
ensuring it! When we follow after Jesus we are promised love, peace, joy and many other things we search for to no avail in the world?

Why? Because many of us are little more than rebellious children refusing to listen to the one who loves us above all else.

We pray and pray for our health, finances, relationships. We lament when they fail and we struggle. And so we ask God to help. But I have increasingly come to the realization that he already has helped.  He already told us how to impact these things.

Want better finances? Are you saving, tithing, giving?

Want better health/weightloss? Are you practicing self-control, wise choices, avoiding gluttony or even balancing work with rest?

Want stronger relationships or even reconciliation? Are you freely forgiving, accepting responsibility and apologizing, demonstrating compassion and helping those in need? Are you loving, giving grace
and mercy, being kind and generous?

We have been deceived by our culture to look out for ourselves only, and to pursue success. These are values God rejects. He is looking at our character, our values and our heart, above all else.

If only we will believe that God knows best. Maybe then we will experience what he has for us, and it will be so GOOD!

It is MARCH 21, right?!!

No, really - it is the first day of spring!!

Getting rear-ended at 7:30am when you are on your way to a hospital appointment with your kid, squeezed in before work, is probably not the best thing that ever happened to me.

But it is an opportunity for two things: 1, that Christ would show up in a powerful way, and 2, that Christ would be displayed in my reaction.  One out of two isn't bad right?!

Jesus totally showed up.  For one, I was totally calm.  I was not at all angry or frustrated even.  I was not upset and not one tear tried to squeeze out.  If that's not a miracle, I have nothing for you!  In addition, I have no other explanation for how my car did not then plow into the huge truck in front of me.

Now, when I did get out of my car, my first word was not "praise"!  (Yeah, still working on that tongue issue!), however I think I was extremely gracious and gentle - but since this guy did not know me from Adam, he wouldn't know that it was not my nature!

None of us were hurt (including his car!) and Emma had a story to tell her school friends!

Poor Toby, he did not want to go to school again today.  He wanted to stay home and "have fun".  I suggested school was fun, but apparently all he does is boring "papers"!

They have a week off at the end of the month but he's not good with timescales so he couldn't grasp the long range goal!

Once I got him in the car though I started making up silly songs and got him laughing!

De Ja Vu

When Emma was less than a year old we initiated a little-known body brushing therapy that required flying to Orlando every few months to meet with a therapist from the UK.  We did it a couple of times before the economy tanked and all the participants bailed out.  We were looking at thousands of dollars a year, but were willing to try and make it work.

Last summer we heard about a different therapy, for speech and for mouth closure.  We saw results and were sold.  So we signed up to participate in a clinical study for 3 months, that would get the therapy more widely available.  After 7 months we finally had the first therapy session on Monday.  It was long (2+ hours) and arduous.  We weren't sure how practical it would be three times a week, even just for three months.

Then last night I go the call.  The study was cancelled due to insufficient subjects.  Rather than being a downer, this is great news!  The team is honoring their promise to send us all the tools from their program FOR FREE, create a therapy program specifically for Emma, and train a therapist to give her the therapy!  Perfect.

Now, while this is an answer to prayer, there is one catch.  Emma does not have an existing speech therapy program, and we are not sure how to get the insurance to pay for one who will be allowed to give this experimental therapy - since insurance companies want to control what their money covers.

So, it looks like we are kind of back to the position of paying out of pocket to get Emma what she needs.  We have the willing therapist, we have the willing subject (Emma!), we just need the finances! 

We met with her therapist on Monday and we are proceeding.  We agreed a "price", though she was surprised when we mentioned it, because it hadn't occurred to her to think about it!  We truly believe she cares for Emma, and is genuinely motivated by a passion for her discipline.

Please pray with us for success!  We are hoping that this therapy will help Emma's speech and mouth closure.  At the very dream end is that she might develop the ability to smile!  With God all things are possible!!

Toby: I don't want to go to school.

Me: if you don't go to school, you have to get a job. But guess what? You can't get a job if you don't go to school. Go get dressed.

#toughlove

Heating up

Sorry if you were waiting on my update - the heat went back on Friday evening, and not a moment too soon.  I was doing my very best to maintain a positive attitude throughout the three days, not least because we technically had heat.  But I do not deal well with the unexpected and apparently have not improved much on that!  So couple the heat issue, with a snow day and another issue I'm not yet at liberty to publish, the whole week was a major test for me.

I'm thankful that the kids are back in their own rooms, the basement is once again toasty and warm, and we can all leave the house at the same time!

You may notice that finances were not listed on my "issues", which would probably have tipped me over the edge if they were.  I am so thankful and blessed to be able to say that we have been doing very well at reinstating the principles from Financial Peace University and a consistent stream of requests for Scott's craftmanship has meant we could take the blow without much damage.  (You can never fully prepare for the unexpected, but there is peace in knowing you've done your best!)

So, we'll be starting a new week and trying to get back on track.  The temps are going way up - 40f never sounded so good, and the snow is already melting fast.  The clocks went forward last night, so we edge closer to Spring by the day!  I already bought my first can of sunscreen - building a supply ahead of time!!

March madness

The beautiful aftermath!  

Emma has school, starting 2 hours late.  I'm working from home because we have to keep the heaters going and they can't be unattended!!

Where is spring?

On Tuesday night we noticed a burning smell in the bedrooms.  Not fire burning, more rubber burning.  We suspected it was coming from the air vents - we have an HVAC system that blows hot air in winter and cold air in summer.

A few hours later I noticed the temperature was lower than we had the thermostat set to, and realized I hadn't heard any air blowing for a while.  A quick examination concluded the fan was kaput!  

That was around 11pm.  Scott called our HVAC company, owned by friends of ours, and left a message.  We got a call back shortly after and they said they'd be over at noon Wednesday.  It was fairly mild that night so we brought the kids in with us and our little space heater (fan heater in the UK) and went to sleep.

Wednesday came and of course the part that is broken has a 24-48hour delivery time.  We have a great HVAC system, but that means nothing when it's down!

Did I mention that Wednesday night and Thursday were forecast as the worst storm of this already ridiculous winter?  It was, and the temperatures are dropping in to the 20s.  Scott rounded up a number of space heaters from friends and family to get us through it, as long as we can stand it!

Now this is the really cool/weird thing... On Tuesday evening, while the heater died, Scott and I were working on a project.  We were making a diagram of our electrical panel - it was never labelled and we wanted to know what is what for each breaker.  We got that all figured out.  Why is it cool?  Well, space heaters use a lot of power, and if we plug them in on a busy circuit, like the fridges or the microwave and oven it could trip the breaker!  So, we have been able to plug in several heaters, all on different circuits in the rooms we need them!

So, it's Thursday morning, school is closed and we are about 1" into the 5-8" accumulation.  Driving in to the office with it only getting worse seems dangerous, and I don't think I can focus on working from home with the kids and cold!  So, wasting a vacation day seems like the only option.  As for staying warm, well, the living room and bathroom have heat, as well as our room.  

I think I'm going to use the time to clean the house and do laundry, and all the moving around should keep me warm!  I wonder if the kids will be okay watching TV all day wrapped in blankets?!

Boys are gross

This morning, right before it was time for me to take Toby to school I realized neither of us had brushed our teeth.  Reluctant to leave the sofa, I ended up carrying him upstairs like a baby!! 

I put him down and went to brush his teeth, but first he let me know, and see, he was chewing on a fingernail!  Removing it himself he asked "can I put it back in after?"

Ugh!  It is nasty, but I take away two positives: 1) I don't have to cut his fingernails! 2) at least he gave up biting his toenails!

Gross.

What do you want on a night like this?  The heating to stop working, of course!  Dream come true, not!!

Sports news

In other news, while we are inundated with snow and freezing rain, Toby has started training for T-Ball, which begins in April.  T-Ball is basically baseball, but instead of the ball being pitched, it sits on a giant tee and gets hit by the player.  It's basically the first level of baseball for kids.  

Toby seems to have a great "arm" (meaning he can throw the ball far, and pretty accurately) for a kid who's never been trained.  He's also a fast runner and, when I went to watch for the first time on Sunday, I noticed he is really focused.  Probably helped by his shyness, he was not interested in goofing off, but was listening, watching and following instructions.  He seems to be enjoying the outlet for his energy.

Here he is lined up for some drills, with our friends little boy in the foreground. 

We hope Toby will gain more confidence socially, as well as in his sporting prowess.  Now, if I can just get him interested in reading!!

Futuristic friendships

Today Emma made a new friend!  

I received a Facebook message from a Moebius mum in York, UK saying that her daughter had seen the pictures of Emma doing gymnastics and wanted to get to know her.  We've commented on some posts together before and the girls seem to have similar personalities.  So, naturally I agreed.

This morning I got this email:

Hi Emma
My name is Amelia but some of my friends call me Millie so you can decide whether to call me Amelia or Millie I don't mind 😆
I am 9 years old and my birthday is the 10th of October
I am in year four and my school is [xxx] primary school
I have a brother called Ben he is 13
My favourite colour is turquoise I love swimming,singing,acting,

writing and drawing
I hope we can skype
                                              From Miliie

 

Emma was eager to reply, as I'd already told her about Skyping with Millie.  This was her reply:

Hi Millie!

I am amazed that you love all the things that I love.  I would be very
happy if we could Skype!

I love your curly hair!

Love emma hope😍

 

When we did finally Skype there was some kind of issue, and the girls ended up using Facetime instead, which seems far more reliable!  I let Emma take the iPad to her room, which was also where Millie had hers, and they chatted briefly before it was time for Millie to go to bed.

 

It really is so sweet to see two girls who are so outgoing, and friendly, connect in what might be an amazing encouragement to them both as they grow up.  

I'm often frustrated with the intrusion technology has allowed and we've often invited into our lives.  But then stuff like this happens, something that 20 years ago was a crazy "futuristic" concept on the Jetsons, but here we are with video phones!!  Proof once again that it's not hardware that is good/bad, but the purpose for which it is used.