Wednesday, February 23, 2011
Tuesday, February 22, 2011
All in God time
This week is the third anniversary of when we brought Emma home from the hospital. It's almost as significant to me as her birthday! Naturally it's been on my mind as I think back over the past three years.
We've been through alot and probably more than we know. But despite all the experiences and lessons something today was just as significant if not more...
After finishing her lunch (scrambled eggs and toast then yoghurt) Emma developed hiccups. We went through our normal naptime routine and I vented her an extra time to see if it would help, but to no avail.
After tucking her in I started to leave, when I felt a prompting to pray with her about the hiccups. Prayer is not in our nap-time routine and I ignored it, but before I got to her bedroom door I was compelled to pray with her.
I went back over to her bed, sat down and suggested we prayed for her hiccups. We closed our eyes and prayed. After saying "amen" Emma hiccuped. "It didn't work." she said. (Oh, how often we respond in the same way!)
I knew better and said "Ah - it didn't work YET! When you ask God to help you, He will, but you have to wait. God works in His own time." I leaned over to give her a hug and a kiss.
I lingered slightly, waiting for the next hiccup, and sure enough it never came. Emma's hiccups were gone!
We are so quick to dismiss our prayers as denied or unanswered when we do not see the desired outcome, or any outcome in our acceptable time frame. When we put God in a little box of our expectations we deny His wisdom and sovereignty, as well as lack of faith that He loves us and will act in our best interests.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.
We've been through alot and probably more than we know. But despite all the experiences and lessons something today was just as significant if not more...
After finishing her lunch (scrambled eggs and toast then yoghurt) Emma developed hiccups. We went through our normal naptime routine and I vented her an extra time to see if it would help, but to no avail.
After tucking her in I started to leave, when I felt a prompting to pray with her about the hiccups. Prayer is not in our nap-time routine and I ignored it, but before I got to her bedroom door I was compelled to pray with her.
I went back over to her bed, sat down and suggested we prayed for her hiccups. We closed our eyes and prayed. After saying "amen" Emma hiccuped. "It didn't work." she said. (Oh, how often we respond in the same way!)
I knew better and said "Ah - it didn't work YET! When you ask God to help you, He will, but you have to wait. God works in His own time." I leaned over to give her a hug and a kiss.
I lingered slightly, waiting for the next hiccup, and sure enough it never came. Emma's hiccups were gone!
We are so quick to dismiss our prayers as denied or unanswered when we do not see the desired outcome, or any outcome in our acceptable time frame. When we put God in a little box of our expectations we deny His wisdom and sovereignty, as well as lack of faith that He loves us and will act in our best interests.
Now faith is confidence in what we hope for and assurance about what we do not see. This is what the ancients were commended for.
By faith we understand that the universe was formed at God’s command, so that what is seen was not made out of what was visible.
By faith Abel brought God a better offering than Cain did. By faith he was commended as righteous, when God spoke well of his offerings. And by faith Abel still speaks, even though he is dead.
By faith Enoch was taken from this life, so that he did not experience death: “He could not be found, because God had taken him away.” For before he was taken, he was commended as one who pleased God. And without faith it is impossible to please God, because anyone who comes to him must believe that he exists and that he rewards those who earnestly seek him.
By faith Noah, when warned about things not yet seen, in holy fear built an ark to save his family. By his faith he condemned the world and became heir of the righteousness that is in keeping with faith.
By faith Abraham, when called to go to a place he would later receive as his inheritance, obeyed and went, even though he did not know where he was going. By faith he made his home in the promised land like a stranger in a foreign country; he lived in tents, as did Isaac and Jacob, who were heirs with him of the same promise. For he was looking forward to the city with foundations, whose architect and builder is God. And by faith even Sarah, who was past childbearing age, was enabled to bear children because she considered him faithful who had made the promise. And so from this one man, and he as good as dead, came descendants as numerous as the stars in the sky and as countless as the sand on the seashore.
All these people were still living by faith when they died. They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance, admitting that they were foreigners and strangers on earth. People who say such things show that they are looking for a country of their own. If they had been thinking of the country they had left, they would have had opportunity to return. Instead, they were longing for a better country—a heavenly one. Therefore God is not ashamed to be called their God, for he has prepared a city for them.
By faith Abraham, when God tested him, offered Isaac as a sacrifice. He who had embraced the promises was about to sacrifice his one and only son, even though God had said to him, “It is through Isaac that your offspring will be reckoned.” Abraham reasoned that God could even raise the dead, and so in a manner of speaking he did receive Isaac back from death.
By faith Isaac blessed Jacob and Esau in regard to their future.
By faith Jacob, when he was dying, blessed each of Joseph’s sons, and worshiped as he leaned on the top of his staff.
By faith Joseph, when his end was near, spoke about the exodus of the Israelites from Egypt and gave instructions concerning the burial of his bones.
By faith Moses’ parents hid him for three months after he was born, because they saw he was no ordinary child, and they were not afraid of the king’s edict.
By faith Moses, when he had grown up, refused to be known as the son of Pharaoh’s daughter. He chose to be mistreated along with the people of God rather than to enjoy the fleeting pleasures of sin. He regarded disgrace for the sake of Christ as of greater value than the treasures of Egypt, because he was looking ahead to his reward. By faith he left Egypt, not fearing the king’s anger; he persevered because he saw him who is invisible. By faith he kept the Passover and the application of blood, so that the destroyer of the firstborn would not touch the firstborn of Israel.
By faith the people passed through the Red Sea as on dry land; but when the Egyptians tried to do so, they were drowned.
By faith the walls of Jericho fell, after the army had marched around them for seven days.
By faith the prostitute Rahab, because she welcomed the spies, was not killed with those who were disobedient.
And what more shall I say? I do not have time to tell about Gideon, Barak, Samson and Jephthah, about David and Samuel and the prophets, who through faith conquered kingdoms, administered justice, and gained what was promised; who shut the mouths of lions, quenched the fury of the flames, and escaped the edge of the sword; whose weakness was turned to strength; and who became powerful in battle and routed foreign armies. Women received back their dead, raised to life again. There were others who were tortured, refusing to be released so that they might gain an even better resurrection. Some faced jeers and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were put to death by stoning; they were sawed in two; they were killed by the sword. They went about in sheepskins and goatskins, destitute, persecuted and mistreated— the world was not worthy of them. They wandered in deserts and mountains, living in caves and in holes in the ground.
These were all commended for their faith, yet none of them received what had been promised, since God had planned something better for us so that only together with us would they be made perfect.
Hebrews 11
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Powered by the Holy Spirit
When Pastor Bob first asked Scott a few weeks ago, to preach this Sunday, Scott's response was characteristically humble. He thought PB was crazy to ask him, but agreed to do it, with honor. The message: bring the sermon of Battle at Kruger to our congregation. A message Scott heard at the men's conference last year, but that was very personal to him.
Over the past few weeks Scott has been super busy so this week was the first time he really got going in earnest. First let me mention that Scott will take hours to prepare for the Sundays when he leads a 5 minute prayer and offering time! He battles nerves, feelings of unworthiness, but always gets up and does great.
I am so proud and invited everyone we know. To us, and our friends, this is the equivalent to someone who likes music giving their first solo performance!! Scott's a rock star to me!!
For this message though he really didn't seem to concerned, peaceful almost. He prepared his sermon and we worked together on a handout and a powerpoint for the big screen. We finished up the latter around midnight last night!
This morning at 7am Scott got a call on his cellphone, from Grant, who set's the church up for service. A tree fell over and there was no power to the church and it was freezing inside. (We had a power cut for a couple of hours in the afternoon yesterday.) PECO said that only 9 of the 8,000 homes in Springfield were affected - the church considered 2 of those! Scott was heading there early anyway and left soon after.
When I arrived there at 9am there was still no power and it was unclear how things would go. One thing was for sure - the service would go on!! (in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:11)
The kids were in the nursery as usual, albeit still with their coats on. The congregation stayed in their overcoats and huddled together in the seats. Someone brought some blankets, another a propane heater!
The music was quieter than usual with no sound system, but somehow was as powerful if not more. Picture a campfire-type atmosphere!!
I stood up and did the announcements, urging guests to bear with us and assuring them we paid the bills!! It was quite the feat since I had not worn socks and my feet were solid ice!!
Fast forward and Scott took the platform, in his new suit and cool as a cucumber (literally!).
It was cold, so Scott had his hands in his pockets!!
And this is where I post the video I took of the message - except that YouTube won't let me upload anything longer than 15 minutes! :-( With Christina's help we got it in two parts...
The second service was a little different. The kids all had to stay upstairs because there was a problem with the downstairs with no power. There were about 20+ kids of all ages in the sanctuary, but you know what - they were barely noticeable. As someone put it afterwards, of course they were quiet - Uncle Scott was talking!! (He is Uncle Scott to all the kids in our church!)
The message was great, again and several people went up to the altar for prayer following the message. And then it happened...
The lights came on as soon as the second message was over!!! The devil may have tried to halt the service, but the personal trials we had faced earlier in the week put us on alert and we were on the lookout!!
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, 1 Peter 5:8-9a
If you want to see the video Scott was talking about you can see it here.
Over the past few weeks Scott has been super busy so this week was the first time he really got going in earnest. First let me mention that Scott will take hours to prepare for the Sundays when he leads a 5 minute prayer and offering time! He battles nerves, feelings of unworthiness, but always gets up and does great.
I am so proud and invited everyone we know. To us, and our friends, this is the equivalent to someone who likes music giving their first solo performance!! Scott's a rock star to me!!
For this message though he really didn't seem to concerned, peaceful almost. He prepared his sermon and we worked together on a handout and a powerpoint for the big screen. We finished up the latter around midnight last night!
This morning at 7am Scott got a call on his cellphone, from Grant, who set's the church up for service. A tree fell over and there was no power to the church and it was freezing inside. (We had a power cut for a couple of hours in the afternoon yesterday.) PECO said that only 9 of the 8,000 homes in Springfield were affected - the church considered 2 of those! Scott was heading there early anyway and left soon after.
When I arrived there at 9am there was still no power and it was unclear how things would go. One thing was for sure - the service would go on!! (in order that Satan might not outwit us. For we are not unaware of his schemes. 2 Corinthians 2:11)
The kids were in the nursery as usual, albeit still with their coats on. The congregation stayed in their overcoats and huddled together in the seats. Someone brought some blankets, another a propane heater!
The music was quieter than usual with no sound system, but somehow was as powerful if not more. Picture a campfire-type atmosphere!!
I stood up and did the announcements, urging guests to bear with us and assuring them we paid the bills!! It was quite the feat since I had not worn socks and my feet were solid ice!!
Fast forward and Scott took the platform, in his new suit and cool as a cucumber (literally!).
It was cold, so Scott had his hands in his pockets!!
And this is where I post the video I took of the message - except that YouTube won't let me upload anything longer than 15 minutes! :-( With Christina's help we got it in two parts...
The second service was a little different. The kids all had to stay upstairs because there was a problem with the downstairs with no power. There were about 20+ kids of all ages in the sanctuary, but you know what - they were barely noticeable. As someone put it afterwards, of course they were quiet - Uncle Scott was talking!! (He is Uncle Scott to all the kids in our church!)
The message was great, again and several people went up to the altar for prayer following the message. And then it happened...
The lights came on as soon as the second message was over!!! The devil may have tried to halt the service, but the personal trials we had faced earlier in the week put us on alert and we were on the lookout!!
Be alert and of sober mind. Your enemy the devil prowls around like a roaring lion looking for someone to devour. Resist him, standing firm in the faith, 1 Peter 5:8-9a
If you want to see the video Scott was talking about you can see it here.
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Spring Fling
It's been a good week, not perfect, but good!
Here are some pictures and updates on the kids.
I tried my Mum's suggestion of putting plastic down so Emma can color without Toby trashing my carpet or table.
Turned out the problem was neither of those, but instead eating the markers/crayons and trashing Emma's work!!
The kids are getting more fun when I leave them alone long enough that they want to play with each other and not me...
Or watching TV together...
Sunday night Scott fell asleep after giving Toby a breathing treatment. The poor baby (Toby!) had some problems with the cold he had last week, but is fine now.
Tuesday night the kids and I went to a friends for dinner, while Scott was working on the church renovation. It was just what I needed after many days alone with the kids. The kids had a great time too!
At physical therapy Emma loves the swing, and has the therapists changing the various swings every couple minutes. As they change them she comes and sits with me, calling over "Is my swing ready yet?"
Today was a fling with spring (see the link with the title!!). The weather was warm, about 60f and after hitting the supermarket I let the kids play outside for a few minutes - the first time this year, and Toby's first time as a walker!
This is Toby channeling Popeye!!
The big event this week was this afternoon. The pre-school we visited asked me to bring her back in to meet the teachers. The director had told the teacher about Emma and I guess they were worried about her limitations and wanted to see how she would do.
We got there as the class was sitting down together on the rug for circle time. Emma was invited to go and sit with the kids and rather than sitting on the floor, she went straight to the "special" chair next to the teacher!
The class then had snack. This made me nervous. They were having little cookies, but Emma kept saying she wasn't hungry, but wanted a drink. I didn't take her sippy cup and they just used small open cups. She refused, as expected. They found her a juice box, which she couldn't manage alone, but I squeezed and she drank from happily. The teacher agreed to let her use a sippy cup when she attends, if still necessary.
Of course, not long after that she told me she needed to be vented! Emma never normally needs venting outside of tube feeds, so this was not good. I took her into the hallway so's not to bring attention to it. I am hoping this is not an issue in the fall - I'm hoping the tube could be out!!
Emma had a great time and joined in with all the activities and other kids. One of the 12 kids is a girl in Emma's Sunday school class, so she took Emma under her wing and mothered her!
By the end of the 2 hours Emma was endeared to both teachers and most of the kids - although they will not be in her class.
The other concerns we had were using the potty - she is a little small to do that by herself. The teacher said that shouldn't be a problem.
Both of us enjoyed the time. I felt much better about sending Emma to school and she had a taste of the future and liked it! I have to admit I was also really proud that Emma is on a level with kids a year older!
Here are some pictures and updates on the kids.
I tried my Mum's suggestion of putting plastic down so Emma can color without Toby trashing my carpet or table.
Turned out the problem was neither of those, but instead eating the markers/crayons and trashing Emma's work!!The kids are getting more fun when I leave them alone long enough that they want to play with each other and not me...
Or watching TV together...
Sunday night Scott fell asleep after giving Toby a breathing treatment. The poor baby (Toby!) had some problems with the cold he had last week, but is fine now.
Tuesday night the kids and I went to a friends for dinner, while Scott was working on the church renovation. It was just what I needed after many days alone with the kids. The kids had a great time too!
At physical therapy Emma loves the swing, and has the therapists changing the various swings every couple minutes. As they change them she comes and sits with me, calling over "Is my swing ready yet?"
Today was a fling with spring (see the link with the title!!). The weather was warm, about 60f and after hitting the supermarket I let the kids play outside for a few minutes - the first time this year, and Toby's first time as a walker!
This is Toby channeling Popeye!!
The big event this week was this afternoon. The pre-school we visited asked me to bring her back in to meet the teachers. The director had told the teacher about Emma and I guess they were worried about her limitations and wanted to see how she would do.
We got there as the class was sitting down together on the rug for circle time. Emma was invited to go and sit with the kids and rather than sitting on the floor, she went straight to the "special" chair next to the teacher!
The class then had snack. This made me nervous. They were having little cookies, but Emma kept saying she wasn't hungry, but wanted a drink. I didn't take her sippy cup and they just used small open cups. She refused, as expected. They found her a juice box, which she couldn't manage alone, but I squeezed and she drank from happily. The teacher agreed to let her use a sippy cup when she attends, if still necessary.
Of course, not long after that she told me she needed to be vented! Emma never normally needs venting outside of tube feeds, so this was not good. I took her into the hallway so's not to bring attention to it. I am hoping this is not an issue in the fall - I'm hoping the tube could be out!!
Emma had a great time and joined in with all the activities and other kids. One of the 12 kids is a girl in Emma's Sunday school class, so she took Emma under her wing and mothered her!
By the end of the 2 hours Emma was endeared to both teachers and most of the kids - although they will not be in her class.
The other concerns we had were using the potty - she is a little small to do that by herself. The teacher said that shouldn't be a problem.
Both of us enjoyed the time. I felt much better about sending Emma to school and she had a taste of the future and liked it! I have to admit I was also really proud that Emma is on a level with kids a year older!
Tuesday, February 15, 2011
Friday, February 11, 2011
Wednesday, February 9, 2011
Haircut
Christina has clippers and practice cutting her boys hair.
He was quite the challenge and I went from holding his head still in
the high chair to holding him horizontal in my arms!! Still, it looks
pretty good!
Tuesday, February 8, 2011
Monday, February 7, 2011
Mii Time
Scott asked two things of me yesterday after I told him how I was feeling (he wants me to be home with the kids, unless I want to work for the social aspect! Love him!). The first was to not miss him too much when he's working long hours. The second was to turn the TV off as much as possible! (The second makes the first harder and vice versa!!)
Every day presents a choice after naptime. Either keep the kids busy and happy, or make dinner so that we can all eat together. Recently it's been easier because Scott is working late, so I keep the kids happy and then make them something quick (but not nutritious!) for dinner. We eat later.
However, Scott's about to head up a big church renovation which will keep him out most nights from 6pm to 10pm and Saturdays. So I want to make the most of the time he's home, especially having dinner together before he goes. So tonight I chose to make dinner. I also tried to keep the TV off!
It was fine at first, both kids in their high chairs with a piece of toast! (Emma still has the high chair because she's so little it makes it easier for her to feed herself.) Emma had the DS while Toby ate. TV off.
When Toby started to get restless Emma was amusing him. I watched as she would yell something at him and they'd both crack up. That only lasted until the toast was done.
When I let them out Toby was a fussy mess, but I was determined to make the chicken casserole I had planned for dinner. I ignored the crying at the kitchen gate, but when he climbed up on the table I grabbed him for time out in the Pack n Play! More crying.
Scott arrived home shortly after and took them off my hands. A friend dropped by unexpected which distracted the kids from the TV for a while longer. Then Scott took a shower and got the kids bathed while I finished up dinner. No TV.
We sat down to dinner, but Emma did not want to eat the casserole. Normally they'd both be facing the TV but tonight we sat round the table. Toby started eating and eventually Emma agreed - and finished her plate! No TV.
After dinner Scott brought the Wii down from our room so we could have some family fun - technically it was TV, but not programming!! Emma had a great time bowling and playing baseball, before Scott and I played some tennis.
It was a nice change and after a while Emma stopped asking to watch her "shows". We kept Toby amused with the spare Wii-mote and then Scott's cellphone!
Of course, we had to update Emma's Mii and create a new one for Toby...
I'm doing much better. I want to thank my friend that called and let me know I'm not the only one who feels like this. That's probably the worst part, when you feel like you're alone. I know I can trust God to provide, I guess I'm just really struggling to trust Him, to do it His way. And that is a daily decision that I'll be making for the rest of my life.
I liken it to driving in fog, where you can only just see the car in front of you. You can't see the road ahead, but you trust that if you drive slow, and stay on the road, you'll come out the other side.
Every day presents a choice after naptime. Either keep the kids busy and happy, or make dinner so that we can all eat together. Recently it's been easier because Scott is working late, so I keep the kids happy and then make them something quick (but not nutritious!) for dinner. We eat later.
However, Scott's about to head up a big church renovation which will keep him out most nights from 6pm to 10pm and Saturdays. So I want to make the most of the time he's home, especially having dinner together before he goes. So tonight I chose to make dinner. I also tried to keep the TV off!
It was fine at first, both kids in their high chairs with a piece of toast! (Emma still has the high chair because she's so little it makes it easier for her to feed herself.) Emma had the DS while Toby ate. TV off.
When Toby started to get restless Emma was amusing him. I watched as she would yell something at him and they'd both crack up. That only lasted until the toast was done.
When I let them out Toby was a fussy mess, but I was determined to make the chicken casserole I had planned for dinner. I ignored the crying at the kitchen gate, but when he climbed up on the table I grabbed him for time out in the Pack n Play! More crying.
Scott arrived home shortly after and took them off my hands. A friend dropped by unexpected which distracted the kids from the TV for a while longer. Then Scott took a shower and got the kids bathed while I finished up dinner. No TV.
We sat down to dinner, but Emma did not want to eat the casserole. Normally they'd both be facing the TV but tonight we sat round the table. Toby started eating and eventually Emma agreed - and finished her plate! No TV.
After dinner Scott brought the Wii down from our room so we could have some family fun - technically it was TV, but not programming!! Emma had a great time bowling and playing baseball, before Scott and I played some tennis.
It was a nice change and after a while Emma stopped asking to watch her "shows". We kept Toby amused with the spare Wii-mote and then Scott's cellphone!
Of course, we had to update Emma's Mii and create a new one for Toby...
I'm doing much better. I want to thank my friend that called and let me know I'm not the only one who feels like this. That's probably the worst part, when you feel like you're alone. I know I can trust God to provide, I guess I'm just really struggling to trust Him, to do it His way. And that is a daily decision that I'll be making for the rest of my life.I liken it to driving in fog, where you can only just see the car in front of you. You can't see the road ahead, but you trust that if you drive slow, and stay on the road, you'll come out the other side.
It's a process
While the kids were eating their lunch, watching TV, I found myself crying my eyes out on my knees in the kitchen. I didn't know what else to do.
This morning was like most other mornings in our house. Scott went to work before the kids woke up. When the kids got up we came downstairs and I put the TV on for them while I made breakfast. They both ate well and then got down to play.
All the while in my head I'm replaying the same thoughts over and over. Things are going okay, really. Scott has work and we think it will be there for at least a few weeks. At the basic level it's really not enough, but here and there he gets an extra job to meet the need.
After doing a well-paid freelance project in January and the odd bit last year I am increasingly anxious about whether I should seek more permanent employment and take the pressure off Scott, but in doing so we would incur costs, and the kids who already only see a little of Scott would hardly see me.
I started to fixate on the finances, and create a list of "if only..." and "maybe..." in my head. I knew that wasn't a good use of my energy or time so I did what I tell everyone else to do and pulled out the scriptures.
Matthew 6:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
This morning was like most other mornings in our house. Scott went to work before the kids woke up. When the kids got up we came downstairs and I put the TV on for them while I made breakfast. They both ate well and then got down to play.
All the while in my head I'm replaying the same thoughts over and over. Things are going okay, really. Scott has work and we think it will be there for at least a few weeks. At the basic level it's really not enough, but here and there he gets an extra job to meet the need.
After doing a well-paid freelance project in January and the odd bit last year I am increasingly anxious about whether I should seek more permanent employment and take the pressure off Scott, but in doing so we would incur costs, and the kids who already only see a little of Scott would hardly see me.
I started to fixate on the finances, and create a list of "if only..." and "maybe..." in my head. I knew that wasn't a good use of my energy or time so I did what I tell everyone else to do and pulled out the scriptures.
Matthew 6:
25 “Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? 26 Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? 27 Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?
28 “And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin. 29 Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these. 30 If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith? 31 So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ 32 For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. 33 But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 34 Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.
Matthew 10:
26 “So do not be afraid of them, for there is nothing concealed that will not be disclosed, or hidden that will not be made known. 27 What I tell you in the dark, speak in the daylight; what is whispered in your ear, proclaim from the roofs. 28 Do not be afraid of those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather, be afraid of the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell. 29 Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground outside your Father’s care. 30 And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. 31 So don’t be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.
I felt better for a little while, but then I allowed thoughts to creep back in. What if we need to replace the car? How will we...?
The worst part about this kind of thinking is that you become paralyzed. There are no answers because there is no way to see the future (unless you choose a path where you make things happen regardless of the law or God's will). No matter how frustrated I get at the situation, I won't condone that. We see many guys claiming unemployment while doing work for cash - it's not right.
Scott texted me back after I dragged him into it and said that if I needed to get out of the house then we could find a way for me to work. Then I felt guilty about not wanting to work, but also not feeling like I was doing the best for the kids. A friend popped in and said we should go for a walk because the weather was not as bad. I had no desire to leave the house!
Then I started worrying about the kids. I get alot of guilt about not teaching them more at home. I don't let Emma color or do puzzles because Toby tries to eat everything and then Emma gets upset when he messes with her stuff! Then I have no idea what to do with Toby. I had guidance for Emma and she was so much more willing to sit and interact. Toby is not like that.
I get these weekly emails about the progress of my "16 month old: week 1" and yesterday it said something about 10 essential nutrients, which my kids do not get! As I figure out lunch I try hard to think of a way to get them to eat healthier.
In the back of my head I feel like a complete failure as a mother (interesting since I just joined a bible study on mothering without guilt!), as I prepare chicken nuggets and baked beans. Putting green beans and carrots in the baked beans gives me a little peace, especially when Emma ate them without fuss. Toby on the other hand resisted!
While they were eating Scott and I were texting again and he told me to read Psalm 139. I read it and started crying. It can be so hard to apply truth that you see for others to yourself. I believe totally that God loves everyone, despite our flaws and sees us as the children he wants us to become, not as we are. This is great news - you don't need to worry about what you are lacking or screw up when you come to God. He's just looking for a humble heart, repentance of sin and desire to follow Jesus - the forgiver.
Except me. Other people may feel like this too. But I'm just to lazy/selfish/stubborn/[insert criticism here] for God to ever truly love me. However, [as I write this] I realize that God loved us before we ever became like that or did those things that we feel are unforgivable. He loved us before we were born and he still loves us that way.
What made me stop crying? Emma: "Mommy? Is that you?"
As I look at Emma now (Toby's in bed), under the table tickling my feet, I get it. She's not perfect and does things she shouldn't (no, really she does!), but I love her with all my heart and will always try to give her what's best for her. Regardless of how she responds to me. The same with Toby of course. Thank God that He has more patience with me than I do with my kids!!
When I can't see how things will work out, there is a strong temptation for me to try and take control of the situation. While it might be understandable to go get a job, I'm not sure that's what I'm supposed to do. The temptation to worry and ultimately try and play god in my life could do more harm than good!
Matthew 11:28
“Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest.
Saturday, February 5, 2011
Choose Faith and Acknowledge God's Control
by Tom Holladay
“Everything in the heavens and earth is yours, O Lord … we adore you as being in control of everything.” 1 Chronicles 29:11 (LB)
When Jesus rebuked the wind and the waves in Matthew 8 the disciples were amazed and asked each other, “Who is this that even the winds and the sea obey him?” (Matthew 8:27 LB).
In that moment, they acknowledged God’s control. They realized there was no reason to worry because the God who commands galaxies with a word and holds molecules together with his power was right there in their boat.
Why do we worry? Because we try to do what only God can do. We try to control the uncontrollable, explain the unexplainable, do the undoable, stop the unstoppable, fix the unfixable, bear the unbearable; and then we wonder why we are messed up.
Only God is in control. That may leave you wondering, “If God is in control, why doesn’t he change this, or do that, or make this thing better?” Honestly, I don’t know. But I do know that I trust him. And I have found time and again that he is trustworthy. This world is not all there is. There is an eternity to come where everything will be made right and just.
God has allowed evil for a time, but it will not be forever. So I’m going to put my trust in him because he is the only one in control.
In the meantime, what should you do? Jesus says, “Don’t be anxious about tomorrow. God will take care of your tomorrow, too. Live one day at a time” (Matthew 6:34 LB).
This doesn’t mean you don’t plan for the future. You should continue to set goals; in fact the Bible says it’s wise to set goals. But once you set those goals that might guide your direction, then you live one day at a time. If you decide to worry about what is going to happen tomorrow, you’ll miss out on what God wants you to do today.
The therapist asked her if she needed help, I told her she didn't!
The only guidance I gave was verbal ("just three lines on the E" and
"next an M") and the rest was all her.
She says "up down up down" when she does an M and "up down across" for the A!
Allie, the therapist said she was the youngest child she's ever seen
write her name like that.
Emma also messed with Allie by saying random words like "lemon" when
asked to tell her what a picture was of. Emma found it hilarious (as
did I) but allie didn't realize it was intentional at first!
It was only a half hour session but she was clearly bored. Next week
we're getting an hour so it should be interesting!!
Solidarity
Toby wanted to join her!!
Wednesday, February 2, 2011
Stormy weather
The storm of the century hit the country yesterday and I am so thankful that we really only caught the edge of it. We were forecast widespread ice up to 4" thick due to freezing rain, but in our area the precipitation was just rain after about 3am and does not seem to have done much damage.
For you who are not familiar with this kind of weather, it doesn't just impact the road, but power lines and trees can come down with the weight of the ice.
When I looked out this morning it was so pretty. Our trees are coated with ice, so every tiny branch looks like it's made of glass. I don't know if you can see it in the pictures here...
For you who are not familiar with this kind of weather, it doesn't just impact the road, but power lines and trees can come down with the weight of the ice.
When I looked out this morning it was so pretty. Our trees are coated with ice, so every tiny branch looks like it's made of glass. I don't know if you can see it in the pictures here...
Of course, the schools are opening 2 hours late, which means that Emma misses Physical Therapy again. At this rate she'll be lucky to get therapy once a month, let alone every week.Scott's working for a company in the city doing maintenance work right now. It's not a full-time position but they have been keeping him busy. And because it's inside, the weather does not affect him like it does on many construction jobs outside. No word on getting any union work, long or short term, it seems to be as scarce as it's ever been.
I read a book on Wednesday (the whole book in 4 hours!) instead of watching TV when the kids were in bed. The Land Between uses the story of the Israelites wandering in the desert, between the slavery they left in Egypt heading to the promised land.
They had never experienced a relationship with God during their enslavement, so when they found themselves literally in a desert with nothing they had to choose to either trust God - that he loved them and would provide (after all he did rescue them from slavery as they had prayed)...
The LORD said, “I have indeed seen the misery of my people in Egypt. I have heard them crying out because of their slave drivers, and I am concerned about their suffering. 8 So I have come down to rescue them from the hand of the Egyptians and to bring them up out of that land into a good and spacious land, a land flowing with milk and honey. Exodus 3:7-8
or would they deny the truth they had heard of their forefathers Abraham and Joseph, and grumble, complain and take matters into their own hands...
So the people grumbled against Moses, saying, “What are we to drink?” Exodus 15:24
In the desert the whole community grumbled against Moses and Aaron. The Israelites said to them, “If only we had died by the LORD’s hand in Egypt! There we sat around pots of meat and ate all the food we wanted, but you have brought us out into this desert to starve this entire assembly to death.” Exodus 16:2-3
Then the LORD said to Moses, “Go down, because your people, whom you brought up out of Egypt, have become corrupt. They have been quick to turn away from what I commanded them and have made themselves an idol cast in the shape of a calf. Exodus 32:7-8
The Israelites struggled to trust God. Even though God had been faithful to keep his promises to all, and even provided bread from heaven, literally - Then the LORD said to Moses, “I will rain down bread from heaven for you. The people are to go out each day and gather enough for that day. In this way I will test them and see whether they will follow my instructions. On the sixth day they are to prepare what they bring in, and that is to be twice as much as they gather on the other days.” Exodus 16: 4-5
What was the purpose of experiencing this total dependence on God in the wilderness? Because they were going to inherit the promised land, the purpose for which they were chosen. It would not come without struggles and battles, for which they would need to have a solid faith in God if they were to find success.
We may have avoided the ice storm, but there are constantly storms raging all around us in life. While our faith can build when we are in a quiet time and things are going smoothly, it is during the times of great testing that we truly learn to trust God and experience his power in our lives.
We've done all we can to secure our position financially - within God's will. Now we are in his hands, and their is no safer place to be.
Root of the Problem
Tree roots. That's right, those beautiful trees in our front yard caused the blockage in our drain. The fine roots (though one was at least 1/8") grow through the cracks in the sections of drain pipes and clog up like a giant hair ball.
We are so thankful to a friend of ours, who happens to be a plumber. He came over Saturday night and helped diagnose the problem, only to return Sunday afternoon with a crazy contraption that forces heavy cable out through the drain pipe and pulls out the clogs.
It was awesome that he came on a Sunday to fix it - and I am very grateful to his wife, knowing how frustrating it can be when your spouse is out on the only day of rest!
While the drains are clear for now, we'll probably need to add it to the list of routine maintenance you never think about when you buy a house. Ah, I'm not really annoyed, just relieved it's not serious and I can work on catching up on the mountain of laundry and dishes that has piled up. (Don't make meatballs when you won't be able to do the dishes - not a good mess!)
While I think about it, the little spiritual lesson I got yesterday seems even more profound now. The tiniest little slivers can work their way into the smallest cracks in our armor, and eventually block the healthy flow in our lives. Translation: bad habits might not seem like a big deal, but if you have 50 bad habits, together they combine to make us ineffective and stagnant.
Even if you work at clearing all the bad habits away in one fell swoop, the chances are that they will grow back unless you develop a new habit. For me the bad habits I can think of immediately are putting the TV on [for no reason], choosing the internet instead of my bible, playing before praying. Even doing chores rather than playing with my kids when they want nothing more. Sometimes we just need to do something more important.
LOL, I may be stretching the experience to get this lesson out of it! But it's still a lesson I need to learn.
We are so thankful to a friend of ours, who happens to be a plumber. He came over Saturday night and helped diagnose the problem, only to return Sunday afternoon with a crazy contraption that forces heavy cable out through the drain pipe and pulls out the clogs.
It was awesome that he came on a Sunday to fix it - and I am very grateful to his wife, knowing how frustrating it can be when your spouse is out on the only day of rest!
While the drains are clear for now, we'll probably need to add it to the list of routine maintenance you never think about when you buy a house. Ah, I'm not really annoyed, just relieved it's not serious and I can work on catching up on the mountain of laundry and dishes that has piled up. (Don't make meatballs when you won't be able to do the dishes - not a good mess!)
While I think about it, the little spiritual lesson I got yesterday seems even more profound now. The tiniest little slivers can work their way into the smallest cracks in our armor, and eventually block the healthy flow in our lives. Translation: bad habits might not seem like a big deal, but if you have 50 bad habits, together they combine to make us ineffective and stagnant.
Even if you work at clearing all the bad habits away in one fell swoop, the chances are that they will grow back unless you develop a new habit. For me the bad habits I can think of immediately are putting the TV on [for no reason], choosing the internet instead of my bible, playing before praying. Even doing chores rather than playing with my kids when they want nothing more. Sometimes we just need to do something more important.
LOL, I may be stretching the experience to get this lesson out of it! But it's still a lesson I need to learn.
Tuesday, February 1, 2011
Sleep storm
My plan worked on Saturday night, at least with Toby! He slept through the night and has been pretty agreeable ever since. I'm also trying to tire him out before bed. He's waking up at 6am of course - you can't have it both ways!!
Emma on the other hand is a fighting me all the way. Saturday night I agreed to let her sleep in a princess costume. I thought this was a great idea. If it's not a costume, she keeps changing her mind about the pajamas she wants to wear.
The details are sketchy since it was the middle of the night, but I know that once I was called in and she just had to change her costume AND pull-up (not wet). For a quiet life I agreed and told her to go back to sleep.
Around 3am I heard our bedroom door open and Emma came in. This has happened only a handful of times but I could have lost my mind when she said she wanted to change her outfit again!
Sunday night was not much better and that was after she did everything possible to avoid sleep.
Last night I got tough with her. She had to wear the same pajamas as the night before. I acquiesced to letting her wear a diaper to bed - she seems to prefer that to a pull-up and I'm not really bothered!
She went to bed at the same time as normal but cried pretty much the entire time until she eventually went to sleep. I really did my best to stay calm - I was proud of myself as I kept cool through the 4 or 5 trips to her room when she was in danger of waking Toby.
At one point, after she calmed down she said "I know - how bout I sleep downstairs for a little bit?" That's the fight now, Emma wants to stay downstairs or sleep in our bed. I calmly told her that I love her very much, but no matter how much she cries she is not sleeping downstairs.
It's our own fault. I don't think we realized the fine line between indulging Emma's creativity and independence, by allowing regular dress-up and agreeing to requests along those lines, and just spoiling her. It started with the food, just being thankful that she would eat anything and giving her whatever she wanted.
Now I'm working to correct the balance by offering limited choices and occasional refusals. It seems all the more crucial now as we look forward.
On Thursday we are going to tour a pre-school for Emma to attend in the fall. She will only be going Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and as she will turn 4 in November, she'll be one of the older kids in the 3 yr old class.
I was excited about the prospect as I know she will love it. Just seeing how much she enjoys Sunday School - she was pretending to be the teacher this week, telling the other kids to sit and listen to the story.
However, Scott brought me crashing down when he shared his fears. I could only agree with him that we want to protect Emma from the cruelty that other kids can show. We simply don't know how it will go.
In my recent experience kids who are a couple of years older notice that Emma has some different characteristics. It's not the paralysis, or even her eyes that draw most attention, but her mouth. Emma top lip is barely there and does not cover her top teeth at all. It's something I discussed with the plastic surgeon in November, but there seems to be nothing they can do to change it.
My hope is that, as it is at church, the kids her own age seem almost oblivious to a difference. Many of them having their own speech issues or just being far too worried about themselves. Clearly this will change as they grow out of that stage and it may be more obvious.
Our other concern is that the pre-school is not in our school district, so the kids she will meet and befriend will not join her when she starts school in a couple of years. We would like to use a local pre-school, but we don't have same references for them. The class she will be in has two teachers for twelve kids, allowing them to have lots of time for each one. We will need them to let us know of any issues.
We are pretty much in agreement that as parents, no matter what, the best we can do is to ensure that Emma knows how much she is loved and valued by us, God and her family and friends. It's a message that all children need to be given by their parents so they don't question their self-worth because of detractors or mistakes.
Emma on the other hand is a fighting me all the way. Saturday night I agreed to let her sleep in a princess costume. I thought this was a great idea. If it's not a costume, she keeps changing her mind about the pajamas she wants to wear.
The details are sketchy since it was the middle of the night, but I know that once I was called in and she just had to change her costume AND pull-up (not wet). For a quiet life I agreed and told her to go back to sleep.
Around 3am I heard our bedroom door open and Emma came in. This has happened only a handful of times but I could have lost my mind when she said she wanted to change her outfit again!
Sunday night was not much better and that was after she did everything possible to avoid sleep.
Last night I got tough with her. She had to wear the same pajamas as the night before. I acquiesced to letting her wear a diaper to bed - she seems to prefer that to a pull-up and I'm not really bothered!
She went to bed at the same time as normal but cried pretty much the entire time until she eventually went to sleep. I really did my best to stay calm - I was proud of myself as I kept cool through the 4 or 5 trips to her room when she was in danger of waking Toby.
At one point, after she calmed down she said "I know - how bout I sleep downstairs for a little bit?" That's the fight now, Emma wants to stay downstairs or sleep in our bed. I calmly told her that I love her very much, but no matter how much she cries she is not sleeping downstairs.
It's our own fault. I don't think we realized the fine line between indulging Emma's creativity and independence, by allowing regular dress-up and agreeing to requests along those lines, and just spoiling her. It started with the food, just being thankful that she would eat anything and giving her whatever she wanted.
Now I'm working to correct the balance by offering limited choices and occasional refusals. It seems all the more crucial now as we look forward.
On Thursday we are going to tour a pre-school for Emma to attend in the fall. She will only be going Tuesday and Thursday afternoons, and as she will turn 4 in November, she'll be one of the older kids in the 3 yr old class.
I was excited about the prospect as I know she will love it. Just seeing how much she enjoys Sunday School - she was pretending to be the teacher this week, telling the other kids to sit and listen to the story.
However, Scott brought me crashing down when he shared his fears. I could only agree with him that we want to protect Emma from the cruelty that other kids can show. We simply don't know how it will go.
In my recent experience kids who are a couple of years older notice that Emma has some different characteristics. It's not the paralysis, or even her eyes that draw most attention, but her mouth. Emma top lip is barely there and does not cover her top teeth at all. It's something I discussed with the plastic surgeon in November, but there seems to be nothing they can do to change it.
My hope is that, as it is at church, the kids her own age seem almost oblivious to a difference. Many of them having their own speech issues or just being far too worried about themselves. Clearly this will change as they grow out of that stage and it may be more obvious.
Our other concern is that the pre-school is not in our school district, so the kids she will meet and befriend will not join her when she starts school in a couple of years. We would like to use a local pre-school, but we don't have same references for them. The class she will be in has two teachers for twelve kids, allowing them to have lots of time for each one. We will need them to let us know of any issues.
We are pretty much in agreement that as parents, no matter what, the best we can do is to ensure that Emma knows how much she is loved and valued by us, God and her family and friends. It's a message that all children need to be given by their parents so they don't question their self-worth because of detractors or mistakes.
Saturday, January 29, 2011
Flushing Nightmare
So as I pulled the plug on Emma's bath this evening we heard a noise from elsewhere in the house. Toby was already asleep so we knew it wasn't him.
Turns out the kitchen sink was full of water!
Right now Scott is outside (9.15pm!) digging the snow out from around our sewer vent. It's probable that there is a blockage somewhere in the drain - likely caused by "flushable" wipes!
Yes, I was warned about them, and no I did not take any notice! They should not say flushable if it means they do not break down. A hand towel is flushable but I wouldn't flush it down the toilet!
I haven't used that many, but given Emma's sickness this week, I used more, more often the past few days.
Argh - stupid little things that cause giant problems.
Which lead on in my thinking...
No trial is without lesson!!
Turns out the kitchen sink was full of water!
Right now Scott is outside (9.15pm!) digging the snow out from around our sewer vent. It's probable that there is a blockage somewhere in the drain - likely caused by "flushable" wipes!
Yes, I was warned about them, and no I did not take any notice! They should not say flushable if it means they do not break down. A hand towel is flushable but I wouldn't flush it down the toilet!
I haven't used that many, but given Emma's sickness this week, I used more, more often the past few days.
Argh - stupid little things that cause giant problems.
Which lead on in my thinking...
Little acts can have large consequences. King Saul lost his kingdom for two small sins. His first mistake was not waiting for Samuel to arrive to offer sacrifices. But who can blame him? Samuel was late (from Saul’s perspective) and Saul’s army was slipping away. If Saul didn’t seek the Lord’s favor soon, he would go to war without God’s blessing (1 Samuel 13:5-9).
Saul’s second failure came on the heels of a signature victory. His armies defeated the Amalekites; but rather than destroy everything as God had commanded, Saul and his men “kept the best of the sheep and goats, the cattle, the fat calves, and the lambs—everything, in fact, that appealed to them” (1 Samuel 15:9).
The root of these seemingly insignificant sins was the sin of fear. Saul feared losing his army, either by not offering the sacrifice fast enough or by sacrificing something his men wanted. But he feared his men more than he feared God, and God responded by revoking his kingship.
Learn the lesson of Saul: some sins are understandable, but none are excusable—and all are devastating.
No trial is without lesson!!
Remember this?
We do! This was March 2009, when Emma was 16 months old. Guess who else is almost 16 months old and starting similar behavior of HIS own? That's right - Toby!! (But he's stronger and less inclined to fall asleep!)
In recent days and weeks, as the kids have been sick and we have been on a more unpredictable schedule Scott and I have been more inclined to sleep in. So when one or both the kids wakes up before we are ready, in to bed with us they come. Such a slippery slope!
Additionally, the kids want to stay up later and Emma has taken a shine to hanging out with us in the living room until she passes out with exhaustion. It seemed like a better option than hearing her cough continuously in her room.
So last night, as I stayed home with the 99% recovered kids (Scott went to our bible study - way to take one for the team!!) the bad patterns came to a head.
Toby, was put to bed around 7.30pm after several "If you climb those stairs you are going to bed"-type threats. He proceeded to cry, loudly. Emma was put to bed about 25 minutes later and was agreeable with the promise of a story and 4 songs!
At one point Emma bolted out of her room to the top of the stairs. When questioned she responded with "I miss you." Back to bed! I agreed to come back and see her "later" - the vague timescale that all parents appreciate, along with "soon" and "a minute".
After 50 minutes I lost my resolve with Toby and went and got him. In my defense I was feeling lousy, which I now know is because I was too scared to eat anything and my body was hurting! As I sat with him and tried to watch the episode of House I DVR-ed on Monday I hurt the most pitiful noise.
On Emma's monitor I heard a few whimpers, then a cry of "no, no" followed by crying. Already a broken shell of a mother I called out "Emma, you can come downstairs." Even I was impressed by instant turnaround in a clear and joyful "Now?" "Yes." And then she went a step further, as she ran to the stairs "I'm so happy!"
I hoped that when Scott returned he would take charge and fix it, but apparently he was not in the mood either and it was 10pm before Toby was put to bed (and once again cried), then Emma at 10.30pm, when we went to bed ourselves.
Emma passed out quickly, but not Toby. Scott brought him into our bed before the lights were even out - a new low for us!! But Toby was not settling down to sleep so he was put back in his room.
I don't quite remember the exact turn of events, but I know that he was in our bed when I woke up and he spent most of the night there, curled up against my back!
It's just so hard to hear the wailing and not know if he's actually sick or hurting (top molars pushing through as we speak)! So, it's going to be some tough love for the next few days. Starting with tonight. Both kids will get baths before bed, after a shorter afternoon nap. They are both healthy now, which is great. Eating normally and I'll introduce milk back in today.
To all the parents out there I say "Reclaim your bed!!"
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