No shrinking violet

Emma is certainly no shrinking violet, and her outfit today conveys just that...

She's also brimming with excitement about reading, and now wants to bring this book with her everywhere to read to everyone!  Here she is reading "sideways" to Toby during our 5 minute morning drive!

Update

I'm pleased to say Toby did you to school today, and despite strong reluctance, he allowed them to lead him away from me.

Waiting to go in.  He kept talking to Emma in such a grown up way!  You can tell he feels the struggle between being little, but also wanting to be a big boy.

I told him I would wait in the parking lot - which Emma jumped all over.  "So, you were tricking Toby?"  Glad we aren't classing it as lying!  She is very astute, adding "he won't know we ever left!"

While Emma was at school, Toby and I ran a couple of errands then hung out at home together.

While Toby was at school, Emma and I finished the errands, then came home.  She read a book to me, and then wowed me with her command of the first batch of sight words I showed her.  

Having them in school at different times was not what I planned, but other than the half hour to squeeze in lunch altogether, it actually great.

I'm getting up early and getting to spend alone time with the kids.  I try to leave the chores for when they are both home, so they have a playmate and I don't feel guilty!

With birthdays fast approaching, this is clearly my busy season!  Next year I need to get more done in the summer so it's not so crazy.

Big guy

Tuesday was also a big day for Toby - orientation at his pre-school.  We chose it because it's in our town, and several friends highly recommended it.  It also happens to be around the corner from Scott's parents house!!

However, we had not met his teachers before this.  We did take the kids for a tour in May, so Toby has been pointing it out each time we drive by.

Toby was clearly back and forth between excitement, bravado and anxiety!  He's nowhere near as outgoing as Emma so this was a big step for us both!

I had to take a recent picture with us, but I rarely print these days, so I took one that morning and emailed it to be printed.  I can't believe how big he is getting!

Despite the big grin, he was fairly anxious all day.

We dropped Emma at Nanna's and walked round to the school.  He did not want to hold my hand, and ran ahead most of the way!  He wore his "cool" shoes, but wouldn't let me spike his hair - he doesn't like all the attention it gets, albeit positive. In fact the other day Emma was telling him he looked handsome, and he said "No Emma! I not handsome, I'm cool!" Haha!

Once inside he still didn't hold my hand but leaned up against me, shy and quiet.  He clung to my leg as we filtered in to the classroom and only cheered up when he was drawing a picture.

He drew a self-portrait, and then I told him to put his name on it, and he did.  I think that's pretty impressive!

His first homework assignment was to decorate the bag all the kids are given for school.  I put his name on it and then taped over the letters so he could paint all over it!

Tonight I spent 3 hours going through the piles of papers we have received from the schools.  They have all kinds of events and fundraisers, sign-ups for all kinds of things.  At both levels they really want parents involved - and chipping in with supplies!  We had to buy a bunch of stuff like pencils and glue for Emma.

Since Emma will bring home a new book to read EVERY night, and has sight words to learn etc, I turned one of the cabinets into a cubby, and they can each have a bin to store their school stuff in. 

 

This couple of weeks has been so hard, and all my mom friends say it stays this busy!  So, it will just be a case of juggling the schedules and activities and not losing my mind or patience!

If you think of it, please pray for Toby.  He seems to be overly anxious and very volatile at the moment.  I guess it's a big transition, and with Emma being so easy, it's hard to know how to help him.

The letter

Here's what I gave to the parents:

Hi!

We are so thankful for this opportunity to address you.  Our daughter will be in Mrs. B’s Kindergarten class with your child, and we are hopeful that they will all have a great experience and build strong friendships that become the cornerstone of a positive academic career.

All children have strengths and weaknesses, challenges and differences.  And, our daughter Emma has some physical differences that may be something your children notice and speak with you about.  We hope that with this heads-up, we can reduce any awkwardness or discomfort for the kids.

Emma has Moebius Syndrome.  It's a very rare disorder that effects everyone in different ways, to different extents.   The main features of this is facial paralysis – no expression above the mouth, and very little in the way of a smile.  Additionally Emma cannot blink or mover her eyes left/right, so she can appear to be staring or unhappy. 

This is Emma, smiling her biggest smile…

In our experience kids usually don’t say anything to Emma, but will ask their parents.  We want to assure you, and them, that she is not mentally impaired, nor is this condition “catching”.  It I not progressive and

Other than these differences, Emma is typical 5 year old.

You may have some questions, and we will be happy to answer any of them.  Even "can she feel her face if it's paralyzed?" to which the answer is yes!  

Many thanks for taking the time to read this. 

Scott and Debra

Back to School

Tonight was back to school night at Emma's school.  That means all the parents go in and hear from the teacher about the curriculum and calendar.  I had only been to them at Emma's pre-school, which was much smaller and informal.

I had emailed the principal and teacher with a proposed letter I wanted to print and give to all the parents in Emma's class - something I know other Moebius parents have done.  But I had no response.

Scott and I arrived about 10 minutes early, looking sharp (wanting to make a good impression for our kid!!) and joined other parents in the cafeteria.  There were stalls set up selling things and giving out information - I was overwhelmed and confused.  We had no idea what to do.

We started chatting to the mom I had connected with on day one, and her husband (he is a college soccer coach, so inevitably the conversation turned to British soccer!).  The principal came over to us and she is so nice.  I mentioned the letter and she said she hadn't received my email - but she would go "right now" and print out the letter!  I mean, one of the busiest nights for her and she went to do that!

We headed to Emma's class and I sat at Emma's chair while Scott stood at the back.  As the teacher began talking, the principal came in and said she couldn't find the email.  I found it on my phone (love smartphones!) and re-sent it to her.  A few minutes later she came back with the letter printed 25 or so times!  

At the next pause, she started to address the parents about all our kids being special and different etc. as Emma's teacher handed the letter out.  It was such a touching intro I had to stifle tears.  Then they asked if we wanted to say anything.  I just let the other parents know that she is normal, bright and its okay if their kids have questions.  

The other parents were very encouraging, and it was great because it was spontaneous so I did not have time to fret beforehand!

After the teacher was done, the moms on either side of me asked where I was from!  Turns out that the little girl that sits with Emma also needs speech therapy, so Emma might not seem so odd.  Her mum (!) is half English, half Australian!  They live a couple streets over from her and, get this - both parents worked in my industry and know my company - that's really rare.

We hit it off fabulously, and we should be getting together for a playdate.  You can write that off as coincidence, I see that as an answer to prayer!

So there is Mia, then there's Devon, who Emma went to ballet with and whose mom I get along with, and Delaney, whose family are Christians and also live nearby!

I'd say that is a great start!!

While moms away...

This is what I came home to after work:

Bow and arrow out of hangers!  I'm not sure what's more dangerous - the kids or Scott's imagination!!

Sunday Review

We arrived at church on Sunday to learn there is a problem with the projector that displays the song lyrics and PB's message.

Scott may be the only guy who can a) carry the giant ladder and b) will hop right up into the heights of the ceiling!  In dress pants and shirt no less!!

He hit the reset button and all was good.

PB would definitely be another guy who could do it, but he's preparing to preach before service.  However, he still graciously paused to authenticate my passport pictures and form!  He really is a special man, and leader.

After church we headed home, but before we got out of the car I broke the news to the kids, that for the next 4/5 months we will be watching football on Sundays.  No TV for them!  That's a big deal, but they responded well and found their own way to cope:

Watching Cinderella,

Or a much needed nap!

When Toby did wake up he showed some interest in the game, which is great.

Then it was back up to church for the monthly Family Experience, a service that is all for kids and has dances, skits and experiments.

Both Scott and I were performing this time.  Here he is as Potipher's wife in the story of Joseph

And then again as Pharoah!

Toby helped show how circuits work

While Emma is all about the drama!

Yeah, church is definitely boring and lifeless!!  (Kidding!!)

Attic

The attic is done, and ready to store the stuff from the basement.  

It would be such a great den for the kids, if it weren't for these

Copious amounts of nails from the roofing shingles.  However, I plan to keep it clean and functional, so should we need to use it as such in the future the kids can go up there if they're mature!

It's really exciting, to finally have that as usable space - the first step in having more space to live in.

Scott really did a great job, working in the heat too!

Trying new things

On Tuesday Scott worked some overtime and then headed to a baseball game we were given tickets for.  After all his work over the "holiday" weekend, he deserved a night off!

I also decided it would be a good time to try my hand at something I had considered for a while, but never done before: mow the lawn!

Our yard is pretty big, with a lot of grass, but I wanted to give Scott a break on that too.

So I pulled out the mower (we have two, one is broken, so I was pleased I picked the right one first time!) and started it up.

With two kids driving around, fighting over the cars I had to stop fairly often.  There was also a bloody knee to clean up.

Then I figured out how to use the weed whacker to trim the edges (a little too much in places), before using the leaf blower to clean up the grass.

I think I did okay for a rookie!

The best part was realizing I burned over 400 calories!!  I think I'll have to make this a regular thing.

School Girl

And so ends Emma's first "week" at school.  I can't say for sure, but I think the stress of this week caused extreme fatigue and headaches!  I've been wiped out at the end of each MORNING!!

How has she liked it?  "Good" is her response to the question each time.  I don't think she's made any super best friends yet, but that's just like her.  She does her own thing and will be friendly and sociable.  I'm not ready to panic that other kids haven't taken to her.

I have always lamented never having a had BFF (best friend forever), thinking I must've missed out on that special companionship.  Maybe I did, I'll never know, but I am also thankful that having a broad (and effectively shallow in depth) range of friends caused me to be self-sufficient and independent.  I still retain much of that, which is more of a hindrance in my relationship with God, but being married to a true BFF, and having developed some amazing friendships in recent years I am able to let my guard down.

It's also quite likely that deeper ties to home would've held me back from making huge steps in life that have brought me to a life I couldn't have dreamed of, with a great sense of wholeness.  And that is what I want for Emma - to follow God's plan for her life and trust that the right people will meet her along the way. 

So, Thursday was her first time flying solo.  She was not even slightly nervous, and expected her teacher to personally "introduce her to the class!"

I drove up to the school, and they have a car line, where a teacher collects them from the car and walks them inside.  You don't have to do that, but I didn't realize and so when suddenly she was out of the car and I had to move on, without time to even take a picture, I felt guilty. 

When I returned to pick her up a couple of hours later I walked up to the door to collect her.  I happened to pass the playground where her class was playing before the end of the day.  Emma was not really playing with anyone, but she was joining in with the large group.

I did see one little girl that was in Emma's ballet class.  They weren't really "friends" at ballet, but her mom and I got along, so maybe we can help forge a friendship.

I also connected with a mom who was really excited to learn that we are Christians, and lives not too far from us.  She and her daughter are coming over for a play date on Tuesday.

I know I can't force Emma to befriend the kids I choose, but I do want to facilitate opportunities for the kids in her class to get to know her individually, so at least they know she's just like them.

(Can you tell I'm not worried about academics?!  I'm so thankful that she is so naturally intelligent and engaged.)

Here are a couple pictures from the end of the week...

Her chosen outfit for day two:

We went to the store and got her the headphones she is required to have:

And of course Toby had to have some too!  (At $5 I chose not to fight that battle!)

They were both listening to music when I took the pictures - they aren't total posers!!

The other stress of the week was learning that Friday was to be Spirit Day. In this case, the first Friday of each month everyone wears the school/town sports colors, to create community spirit. Since they don't have to wear uniforms (unfortunately), this is kind of cute.

The colors? Blue and gold!  No, Emma did not have either in her closet, surprise surprise!!  Thanks to a desperate Facebook post a friend of mine suggested the local craft store, where they have all color t-shirts - and I got a blue one for $3!  I also grabbed a gold (aka yellow) headband.  She totally looked the part...

For me the biggest challenge is going to be learning how this school thing works here.  It's nothing like the UK, so I'm flying blind.  I'm thankful to have a few friends whose kids started school last year to ask about it, but the school assumes everyone knows!

Next week: Toby starts pre-school at an entirely new school!  

Revisiting the past

My sister-in-law Julie has been digging out old photos!  Here's one of Scott...

Toby definitely inherited that mischievous grin!

On my side of the family, my cousin Trevor has sent me some incredible pictures from the past!

This is my great grandmothers brother, who moved to the US in 1910.  He became a minister in Massachusetts and then Maine. 

And here is my great grandparents, with my grandma and her brother.  

I never met my great grandad, but I was lucky enough to know my great gran throughout my childhood.

(Grandma - you seriously have not changed!!)

I don't know how long it's been since my grandma has seen these pictures, including these...

Sometimes we are so fixated on the future, we miss the present and forget the past.  It's nice to take a moment or two to look back at the legacy the older generations left.

I don't think anyone could've predicted that I would emigrate to America, and consider serving Christ as my greater purpose.  I didn't realize I was following in the footsteps of my relative only three generations ago!

First Day of School

Today was Emma's first day of school.  Well, technically it was just a 90 minute visit that I stayed with her for.  On Thursday she will go in by herself for a half day, and every weekday thereafter.

Her teachers are very nice, and we checked out her classroom and met half the class.  The rest will visit tomorrow.

It was really stressful because they had a scavenger hunt around the classroom, which was chaotic to me.  I also hadn't realized that she would be at school in the morning, so I didn't bring the required supplies - the pm kids don't bring them until January!

The supplies?  Crayons, markers, pencils, tissues and a slew of other things.  It's pretty standard here, although I feel our taxes should cover it!!

Emma chose a dress to wear today, because it is still hot, and her tatty old sandals!!  I was not in the mood to argue!

After the school visit I took her for lunch.  

Yes, we went home so she could change (!) as it was really hot, and to get the supply list for after lunch.

She got a free watch, and then told me the time every other minute!!

Due to the stress and heat I have to say it was not the special quality time lunch I had hoped.  I struggled with feelings of anxiety, failure and frustration.  I'm finding it harder and harder to detach my expectations of myself from the reality, and just try and enjoy my kids.

There's always tomorrow.

Attic

Scott's been working hard this week to "finish" off the attic.  It's been empty since we moved in, and now it's thoroughly insulated, with a strong floor.  Some cheap carpet and it will be ready to use as a storage space, though some others may have different plans!!

Toby has mastered the art of the screw gun, while Emma supervises with her "checklist!"

Then my friend came over with her son and the boys had a blast "helping"!

It would be a great play space while they're little, but the purpose of this is to clear out the basement.

Then we will do minimal things so that the basement is suitable for the kids to safely play and hangout over the winter.  We're even thinking of hanging a little swing!

Then we can take time to make the upgrades necessary for it to be a guest-worthy accommodation!

Moving forward, trying to keep up with the kids!

End of summer

The last weekend of summer was a scorcher, and we headed over to New Jersey this afternoon for a visit with best friends Brian and Chrissie.  They're those kind of friends that you know love you warts and all - and have a good laugh at your warts!

Emma was taking pictures on the way there!!

It's truly a blessing that our kids are not also the same age, but also get along so great.  (Baby Isaac will just have to work his way in there when he gets older!)

Toby tried his hand (or feet) at roller skating!

Yes, he tied a cushion to his butt!

We went out for frozen yoghurt, and Emma won hers for free!  (They even took her picture for their Instagram page but haven't posted it yet.  Trying not to read too much in to that!)

Every table has an iPad, so the kids would've stayed all night!

We all went swimming, and after the kids took baths it was time for a relaxing dance

Or gymnastics!

We're so thankful for our friends, and pray our kids will continue to enjoy being together as much as we do - or they'll be really bored!! ;)

A wise commentary.

http://themattwalshblog.com/2013/08/28/dear-son-dont-let-robin-thicke-be-a-lesson-to-you/

Liar liar!

My friend took her daughter for a play date today, with some of the classmates from Emma's, and her, preschool class.

They were all moms that I tried to befriend, but they were quite cliquey, and so I let it go.  I always try and be friendly to other parents so they won't speak I'll of my kids - as I've heard them do!

My friend Sabrina said they all started discussing the assessments their kids had been given for placement in kindergarten.  Some good scores, some not so good.  And then...

"Well, not as good as Emma!"

Sabrina wax taken aback and confirmed they were talking about my Emma.  "Her mom makes her read encyclopedia!"

Well, did I laugh my head off when I heard that later?!  Not only am I shockingly lax at reading with my kids, but I'd far rather watch TV with them.

Which just goes to show how much of Emma's intelligence has little to do with pushing her to read, and everything to do with providing a well rounded life.

Interestingly one of the moms was at high school when Scott was, and passed along the fact that he was into drugs in school.  (True, very true!  Which makes who he is now all the more miraculous!)

Unfortunately she also decided to tell the other women that I too was into drugs, meth no less!  Oh honey, you couldn't be more wrong on that one.  It makes me sad that people feel the need to make up flat-out lies, even when you live as transparently as I do!

Anyway, I couldn't help have a little fun at their expense, posting this on Facebook...

A little light reading before bed!

Braided

Working on some new braids for my repertoire... (All first attempts!)

Dutch

Four-strands (this one was hard and my first attempt was clunky but it worked!)

Waterfall

Team work

Two of our friends thought we looked so cute together giving an announcement in church that they took pictures! (Weirdos!)