First Day of School

It is Emma's first day back at school today.  This year she is in pre-Kindergarten, where she will turn 5.  In our school district you have to already be 5 to join Kindergarten, so she will start proper school next September.  This year she has three half days, Kindergarten will be 5 half days.

Emma loves learning, and school of any kind is a favorite of hers.  Today though I really debated whether she should go.  The kids and I got up at 9am - late, but they didn't go to bed until 10pm!  It was much later than I planned, but they were both behaving when we ran errands after work, and then I said we'd get dinner at Chick-Fil-A (Scott was doing sidework, and we haven't been grocery shopping, so there was little choice!).

When we got there, a lady was doing free face/hand painting.  Although it was almost 8pm and her time to clock off, she agreed to do Emma.  

While Toby and I ate we could hear the laughter from the painting table.  Emma was on rare form (which is not so rare for her!) and when the lady was done she looked over to me and said "She has such a wonderful personality."  I just smiled and nodded!  Emma was thrilled...

It was gone 8 and Toby had accepted he wouldn't get a turn, but she offered to paint him too.  Unfortunately she could not do dinosaurs, so he went with a baseball!  He did really well and sat very still, surprisingly since he'd been bouncing around our booth!

By the time I got them home and ready for bed it was 10pm!  So I let them sleep in today so Emma would have energy for school.  However, not long after she dragged me out of bed, she was complaining about her neck hurting.  Not surprising when she was laying on her belly, chin propped up to watch TV.  

She was a little lethargic and didn't eat her breakfast waffle, the latter a red flag!  I took her temp, which wasn't bad, but resolved to keep an eye on it.  About an hour before school I gave her ibuprofen.  When I took her temp it was up again, but she was adamant about going to school, crying when I said she'd better not.

Any other day I would not hesistate to keep her home.  But it's the first day!  There are new girls in her class, and Christina's son Aaron is going to.  I so want Emma to make friends this year, with fewer kids that knew each other previously,  So I made the [potentially bad] decision of sending her.  I don't think she's really sick.

Once I said she needed to get dressed and eat her sandwich if she wanted to go she complied, and seemed to perk up a lot.  

I'm nervous about this year.  I discussed it with the teacher, and I'm going to go in and talk to her class about Moebius.  They are doing a section on "God made you" in the fall, which is the perfect time, and I will use lots of scripture about how God made each one of us special.  I think it's a good idea, kids are starting to point out strange things.

Two examples:

At Target last night, a young woman in the checkout line behind us had pink hair.  Emma looks at me and says "Mom, look, that girl has pink hair.  It looks kinda different!"  "Yes she does" I said, "Not wrong, just different."

This is what we've been stressing with the kids - different is not necessarily wrong.  And weird is a bad word - we say "different".

The second example happened when I took Emma to school.  There are 3 new girls in her class and I encouraged her to introduce herself to them as we waited outside to go in.  One little girl, called Abby, has a brown mole about the size of a penny on the side of her nose.  After taking her hand to lead her inside, Emma says "What's that on her face?"  

"It's a mark," I said "remember everyone's face is different."  Abby's mom just smiled and shrugged it off saying that kids point stuff out at this age.  I let her know that Emma has Moebius, but only seems to notice how other people are different!

Once everyone got inside, all kids were equals, sitting down and playing play-doh...

Emma and Aaron

School for Emma is more about the social interaction than academics at this point.  But we are trying to meet her thirst for knowledge outside school too, and signed up on ABCMouse.com...

She's learning how to use a computer and other lessons at her level, while she thinks she's playing games. 

And poor Toby, he so wants to go to school with Emma, but he's not starting until next September!

Fun on a Sun[day]

This weekend was flipped!  Saturday Scott had to work, but Monday was a holiday.  Usually church is the last day of the weekend - and means an early start and busy day.  So it was really nice to have Monday to chill.

We spent most of Sunday afternoon over at our friends, Garrett and Ruth's house.  (Garrett is PB's son and Nate's dad - you know, Nate the little boy who gets his picture with Emma every Easter?  Keep up!!)

Anyway, the kids (including Nate's cousins) had a blast...


Emma singing one of her VBS songs:


Scott entertaining the kids:


Toby jamming with Garrett:


Emma also surprised me Sunday with quite the feat:

Ecuador

It was with a mixture of fatigue and sadness that we said goodbye to Scott at 5am on a recent Friday morning.  He was off to Ecuador.

I say we, referring to me and Emma.  Toby, who was in bed with the rest of us refused to wake-up.  Literally - I shook him and said "Do you want to say goodbye to Daddy?" to which he responded "No."

It's always tough to say goodbye to someone you love, especially when they're the one going on the adventure!!  We are so thankful that we received enough financial support to cover his trip, and God provided enough overtime to cover the other costs

Scott drove with 7 others to Newark airport, for a flight to Houston, on to Panama, and then to Ecuador around 11.30pm that night.  

The next morning the team drove 8 hours to Sucua. 

They took a stop off on the way...

 

 

They got to Sucua, and were staying in a modest hotel, and the task at hand was to put a roof on the new addition for the Hope House, accomodation for 6 more girls.

This is the how it looked when they started:

 The team will gladly tell you that Scott was crucial in this work.  They first laid tongue and groove wood on the beams, for the ceiling.  Added plywood on top, to be covered by metal...

The missionaries had 5 days scheduled for the work - but they knew not who they were dealing with!!  The guys had it done in two days, and the rest of the metal they needed was not delivered in time!

Not to worry, they found some other projects, including Scott using the tiling skills he developed in Africa...

The team also helped daily with a vacation bible school in a local village...

And of course, there were some giant bugs...

Here's the team from the church, including Pastor Bob (front left).  It's truly great to have such an inspiring leader.  PB will always be the first person to volunteer and get his hands dirty, because his heart is to serve. 

On their way back to the capital and the flight home, they stopped off and saw an active volcano...

...and Scott "high-fived" baby Jesus!

Scott came home a new man.  He has new energy for serving God and reaching people who have not yet understood God's gift of forgiveness and new life.

He has shared many of the missionaries stories.  For example, the Hope House was born when a local woman brought her 8 year old daughter to the missionaries home unexpectedly, with the news that they could either take her in or she would be sold at the market.  Another girl came to them with nothing after her father made it clear she was to have sex with him and her brother or leave.

It's so easy to dimiss these kinds of stories as things that happen in uncivilized countries, but you'd have to live in a cave to not realize this is happening everywhere.  If you see a young girl in a nail salon during school hours, chances are she's not there by choice.

Yes, I wish there was something I could do for the millions of people living like this worldwide.  Maybe I can do a little.  I am recommitting my life (time, energy, money) to spreading the gospel, even right here in my suburban town.

As much as it would be nice to change people's circumstances, that's often not possible.  And at the root of the gospel, it may not be the most important thing.  This life is short, and we are not going to experience "heaven" on earth.  Instead our purpose on earth is to prepare for eternity.

We all have our cross to bear on earth, whether it's physical, relational, financial or emotional.  The question is how will we respond to it, and how will we respond to God's offer of a hope and future, with Him, in Heaven...

He will wipe away every tear from their eyes, and death shall be no more, neither shall there be mourning, nor crying, nor pain anymore, for the former things have passed away.”

Revelation 21:4

Then the angel showed me the river of the water of life, as clear as crystal, flowing from the throne of God and of the Lamb down the middle of the great street of the city. On each side of the river stood the tree of life, bearing twelve crops of fruit, yielding its fruit every month. And the leaves of the tree are for the healing of the nations.  No longer will there be any curse. The throne of God and of the Lamb will be in the city, and his servants will serve him. They will see his face, and his name will be on their foreheads. There will be no more night. They will not need the light of a lamp or the light of the sun, for the Lord God will give them light. And they will reign for ever and ever.

Revelation 22: 1-5 

But our citizenship is in heaven. And we eagerly await a Savior from there, the Lord Jesus Christ, who, by the power that enables him to bring everything under his control, will transform our lowly bodies so that they will be like his glorious body.

Phillipians 3: 20-21

 

Jesus said to him, “I am the way, and the truth, and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me.
John 14:6 

And there is salvation in no one else, for there is no other name under heaven given among men by which we must be saved.”

Acts 4:12

Model poser!

Remember the Moebius Conference, way back before I had major surgery and Scott went on a trip to South America (more about that soon!)???

Today I got a link to the pictures the photographer, Rick Guidotti, took at the conference.  You can check them out yourself at:

http://rickgnyc.exposuremanager.com/g/moebius_2012
password: philly

But here are the [only] two of Emma, and she's just so darned cute!!:

Park Life

Super Mom

This may seem like an odd victory, but, well, I'm odd! 

The other day I decided to try a french braid on Emma - my first attempt on someone other than myself.  I think you'll agree I did a great job!!!

Even better, I was able to leave them in for two days, after which they gave a great look...

Hey, celebrate the small victories, right?!!

Too Long

Wow, time flies!  I can't believe I haven't posted in over a week.  I guess that's testament to things being pretty much back to normal!

I had my second follow-up with the surgeon today, and he said I can do "whatever I want" in response to me asking when I can pick the kids up again.  (Emma is now 40lbs, Toby close behind at 35lbs, and only 2" shorter.)  He did add "just don't go lifting 100lbs or anything.  And if you start to hurt or ache, stop."

Thank goodness.  I wasn't aware of the impact on my limitations until I took the kids to the playground Saturday and I couldn't put the kids on the swings (they still go on the high baby swings - their choice!), or push the roundabout.  

That was not phasing Emma, who asked if she could "go and play with a grown-up" as she knew they could get her on a swing.  A resounding "no" was my response!  (I think she only feels safe to do that when I'm there, I hope.)

I have a few pictures to post when I get a minute, so stay tuned as always!

Survivor

Well, I survived my first day back at work last week, and realized I needed to be more restful when I could if I want to recover soon!

On Friday I had the kids to myself for the first time in almost two weeks.  I missed them terribly while I was in my initial recovery so I was pleased.  Unfortunately I had two therapy sessions scheduled for Emma, so I had to take them out in the car!  To their credit they were awesome, and got into their seats quite quickly.  (I am very glad I have a car they can get into and out by themselves or life would be tough!!)

We had physical therapy first.  Emma goes weekly, but Pops takes her, so I only go on occasion.  I was amazed at the progress she has made and videoed some of her feats.  (Toby also enjoys going and seems quite at home playing in the background!)





Toby helps a lot because Emma will try things she sees him doing, the daredevil!


Onto Speech, and her half hour session per month is really just to check-in and make sure she's keeping up on her pronunciation.  She always gives us a good laugh at the very mature comments she makes, so cute coming from a little girl.  Toby has started to use the same vocabulary as Emma, which is funny.  The other day I said "Oh my gosh!"  Toby corrected me and said "No mommy, you should say "Oh my goodness!", as Emma often tells me!  (People who say "Oh my God" get told they shouldn't say that, immediately.)

Then Scott's cousin Bevin brought Lainey and Paige over to play.  All 4 kids disappear upstairs and play together, giving us a break. 

 That is until the girls come and tell us that Toby is punching/tackling/jumping on the bed, etc.  I lost track of the number of times I had to tell him if he wanted to play with the girls, he would have to play gently.  He can, he and Emma often play quietly together, but the boy in him wanted to show-off and fight!

We went bowling with Christina and Jeremy, and the boys, after dinner.  It was a lot of fun.  I enjoyed watching since I could not play - and because I was a little sore, I also opted out of chasing the kids down!  (FYI: painkillers do not dull the pain, the just make you happier despite it.  That was not what I wanted!!)

On Saturday Scott was working again.  Did I mention he's been working every Saturday for ages and other overtime?  He really is awesome, and tired!  When the kids go to bed (after he wrestles them through dinner and bedtime) he collapses.  Thankfully the kids were pretty easy on me again and even played together upstairs so I could watch some Olympics (my latest obsession!). 

Then, Scott and I went to see the new Batman movie with friends.  It was awesome.  I wouldn't consider it a date movie, unless you are married with kids and want to totally get sucked into another world for a short time.  No lulls in action to worry about who might not be in bed yet (Emma!).

So, I'm slowly getting better.  I can cough and sneeze now without much concern.  I can browse in a store for a few minutes without pain, and driving today was much better. 

I'm excited to say that at no time in the past two weeks have I felt angry at God or "why me?" about having gotten sick.  (And I shouldn't, this was minor compared to all that my baby girl has gone through!)  In fact I feel very blessed to have been relatively not sick, and had so many people help with my recovery.  My one regret is I didn't ask for a tummy tuck!!  ;)

Here's a couple of other cute kid pics for you...

Toby tries something Emma would never do... (yes, it's secured to the wall!)

The kids take it easy, making it easy on me!

Right before bedtime, the kids are still hyper and ask me to take pictures of their crazy poses!

Before bowling we had some time to kill, so Scott won the kids a couple of toys in the arcade.

Emma and Toby play "horse" at PT.  Emma was the horse until we said she couldn't pull the hoop with her neck!!

Emma's been on a creative bent lately.  This is her and her friends...

This is Rapunzel and Flynn Rider...

 And this was a self-portrait, I think!

God Made You Unique to Benefit Others

by Jon Walker

I knew you before I formed you in your mother’s womb. Before you were born I set you apart and appointed you as my spokesman to the world. (Jeremiah 1:5 NLT)

In Jeremiah 1:5, we’re taught that God created Jeremiah to share the Creator’s message with the nations. In the same way, God created you to share yourself with those around you.

You are diminished if you hide yourself under a bushel, keeping your skills, talents, insights, joy, and pain hidden away from others. God wants you to share yourself. He created you with a uniqueness that enriches the world when you give yourself to the community around you.

Maybe you’re a great singer, or a great cook, or a great mechanic, or a great teacher. Whatever gift God has given you, he gave it to you to give away in service to him. 

Ask God why he created you and what you’re supposed to give away. Whose life will you influence by giving of your time and talent?

New Day

Well, I made it through the night (as I'm sure you knew I would!), only to be rudely awoken at 5:30am by a rapid knocking on our back door.  I'm a light sleeper (especially with both kids next to me) so I woke up first and proceeded to try and wake Scott up with "Someone's knocking at the door!" in slightly panicked tones.  He was disoriented and not as fast as me, so I got to the door first. 

Emma apparently sat up alarmed and said to Scott "Daddy, is someone really at the door?"

I opened the blinds first, for security purposes, to see an elderly man on our back steps.  When I opened the door I saw he had his slippers on and a walking frame.  He asked to use our phone, which of course I grabbed for him.  I was scrambling my brain to think who it might be - we live on a corner of two streets and I'd never seen him in any of our neighbors homes. 

He handed the phone right back - he was hard of hearing and our cordless phone was a bit complicated for him.  He told me his phone number which I tried and it didn't work.  He told me again, with the last digits switched around.  Same thing, and each time he repeated it I think the numbers were different. 

Scott had since arrived on the scene and the man introduced himself and asked if he could sit down.  (I'd agreed to him coming in, but he hadn't moved from the steps.)  Scott helped him in and over to a chair.  While they talked, I tried the numbers he gave us again and eventually called the police. 

He was very impressed with the woodwork in the dining room and liked what we'd done with the place (which told me he lives in a house in our development).  He was really a sweet old guy and enjoyed talking to Scott.

By the time the cop arrived I had looked him up in the phone book (online - who has room for a big book you hardly use!) and there was a man with his name at the other end of our street.  I told the cop the address I found and Scott said he had already given him that address, but when he told him, the house number was the same as the number on the digital clock in the kitchen, so he couldn't be sure it was really his house!

The cop and old man left together about 5 minutes to 6, when Scott would have had to get up for work.  Emma was wide awake at this point and wanted to watch TV, so the rest I wanted before my first day back at work was cut very short!  I just hope the old guy has someone to keep an eye on him, he seemed to have dementia or alzheimers.  If he is to be believed, he is 92 - he said he was born in 1919, but told Scott he was "about 50"!

Jumping forward, after Pops kindly picked the kids up for me (Emma was upset I wasn't driving her, but it would have been too much to drop them off and drive in to work!), I headed off to work.  I had not gone more than a mile before I realized how much it could hurt if I didn't take it easy on the drive.  I tried to use smoother movements between the brake and gas pedals, but I was feeling discomfort by the time I got to work.

I am not really in pain, but there are levels of comfort!  I am still a little light headed, but not dizzy per se.  I'll have three days before I have to come back to work, so I'll try to get rest and keep healing during that time.

As for my fears (which are always worse at night, of course!), well, I'm trying to channel them into making the most of each day and treating Scott and the kids in a way they will know how much I love them.  (That's a process - I so easily get mad with little things that I forget how happy and blessed I am!)

All clear

I had a follow-up appointment with my surgeon today.  I took a friend with me because the surgeon has a tendency to talk really fast and run over me!  

I was then really surprised that he was really friendly!  He took a look at my wound and said everything looks great.  He asked me a few questions and told me I could drive again and go back to work.  I still have to avoid heavy lifting and go back again in two weeks.

Everything was going great, until I got home and I got light headed.  I had gone to a meeting at church in the morning and not slept well the night before.  I ate some lunch and waited for it to clear, but as I type I'm still a little light headed/dizzy.

Throughout the evening, as the severity eased we debated whether or not I should go to the ER.  I had called the surgeon earlier and he said to go if I was still experiencing it later, but didn't sound too concerned.  Pops took my blood pressure on his machine and it was fine.

So, in the end I opted not to go.  And that of course leads to fears about what might be wrong and what might happen in my sleep.  I used to worry about leaving the kids and driving on the highway to work each day (dangerous!), but now I have crazy health concerns.

I know, this is not how God intends for me to live, in fear of something I can't control or predict. I'm still working on that!

I put the kids to bed and tried to love on them as much as possible, without them thinking I'm nuts!  (they'll know I am soon enough!)  I guess there's just no way to avoid all the scenarios you can fear, or fear itself.  Faith is trusting that, as you proceed through life, your worst fear may happen, but God is in control...

And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose. Romans 8:28

Fork in the road

I went to church yesterday, which was awesome.  We've only been a couple times in the past 5/6 weeks because of various things, and we are usually there every week, if not twice!  

I've been missing that time which brings my focus back to where it should be.  When I am wrapped up in "life" too much I focus on the little things that aren't important and allow the fears and worries to engulf me.

It was clear from the first few words of the message this week, PB was pulling no punches and he delivered a great message from the truth of God's Word.  It really reinforced a change that had been trying to get through to my spirit.

Following Sunday's surgery, I had a lot of time to start questioning what happened and what was next.  And of course, what might have happened.

I was wondering what if it wasn't appendicitis and I may still have something wrong with me.  Or, what if there are complications from the surgery (still possible, scarring etc, but..).  And so on.

I found it very difficult to adapt to the interruption in my life schedule.  Our routine and daily plans were thrown on their head and I did not like the powerlessness I had in that.

As the week went on though, and I realized I've been denying God's hand in things, I decided I needed to change my thought process.  I had unquestioningly trusted the doctors, which was wrong, and had not prayed about the situation.  But I could choose to dwell on that or look for God.

When I did, it changed my attitude.  Something had prompted me to go to the emergency room for symptoms I wouldn't normally have gone.  They sent me home, without a diagnosis and I felt better than I had.  But they reviewed the CT scan and called me back in.

That chain of events, I believe was a gift from God.  I did not suffer for long with the pain and they caught it before the appendix ruptured.  It could have been a whole lot worse.  And it could have happened when Scott was in Equador!

The secondary pain I mentioned has gone and was probably a muscle pain because of the way I've been carrying myself.  

Today, the result of the biopsy confirmed I had appendicitis, probably in the very early stages.  I'm feeling pretty strong and hopeful that I'll be cleared to drive and work on Wednesday - if I'm ready.  

It's only been a week, but how intense!  I've learned a couple of lessons and probably missed more!  But I do have a greater appreciation for how precious each day is.

“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about your body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes?  Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can any one of you by worrying add a single hour to your life? 

“And why do you worry about clothes? See how the flowers of the field grow. They do not labor or spin.  Yet I tell you that not even Solomon in all his splendor was dressed like one of these.  If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, will he not much more clothe you—you of little faith?  So do not worry, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ for the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.  Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.

Matthew 6:25-34

Long time

It has been a long week, for several reasons!  One is that I spent most of the week alone.I could not have handled the kids by myself this week, and so we are incredibly thankful to Scott's parents who took them almost every day, including last weekend when I got sick.  In fact they even kept them Wednesday night because Scott was also sick.

That's another reason, with Scott sick time seemed to stand still.   Of course he went to work, but he was a hot mess.  Wednesday night he had an incredible fever and I was really worried.  He's bounced back for the most part now, thank goodness.

I've missed the kids a lot.  Not so much seeing them, as I would have been at work a lot anyway, but more being close to them.  I hug my kids a lot. I love to pick them up and squeeze them, tickle them etc, but I have really not been able to do that, and if you ask them to come over for a hug they usually refuse!!

I've really needed the rest though. I get very sore if I try too many routine activities, or get light headed.  I spoke to my surgeon yesterday (he really does not do well relationally!), and we are meeting Wednesday to discuss my return to driving and work.

In the meantime I've developed a pain just under my left ribcage!  This is a little concerning because my family doctor is not convinced I had appendicitis in the first place.  We have to wait for the biopsy results to confirm (although the surgeon says it was definitely inflamed.)  

I would certainly caution anyone who is told that the doctors think they have appendicitis, to get additional tests to confirm.  Also, push for laparoscopic surgery!  The surgeon was in such a hurry he really didn't offer much discussion on the procedure.  I'm really mad at myself, given our experience with Emma, that I did not take more time to discuss it.  I was a deer in the headlights!

And in the back of my head is the question over how much all this is going to cost us, since our insurance sucks.  It's really sad that I am evaluating how bad my health is in financial terms, it makes decision making complicated.

Thanks for all your prayers.  We've been so blessed by the flowers and meals we have received.  I'm hoping to go to church tomorrow and re-enter the real world!

Identity Crisis

Day one of my home recuperation was not what I thought it would be.  I woke up with a stiff neck and shoulders, presumably from my new sleeping position and lack of movement through the night.  Even though the kids were good, walking downstairs under their own volition, I soon realized I would not even be able to manage even the most skeleton schedule of care.

I had to ask Toby to open the heavy freezer drawer of our frideg-freezer, because bending and pulling would not be good.  I managed to give them both a toasted waffle, but opted for a juicebox rather than the heavy juice bottle for Toby.

I hovered around last nights dishes, that stared tauntingly at me!  I never imagined growing up that I'd find it so hard to avoid doing chores when I have not just an excuse, but direct order not to do it!  I guess some fruits of parenting appear well into maturity!

Kim came over to watch the kids for me, yet somehow I could not stop doing little things here and there.

I did take a half of a pain killer after breakfast (half, because the whole one I took yesterday evening almost made me pass out!), but I think there was emotional masking of any pain, not narcotic.  

I realized some time ago that I see much of my value as a person comes from what I can do for people.   Not doing anything for anyone, therefore makes me uncomfortable.  Maybe something I need to face!

Additionally, when I removed the outer dressing from my wound, I discovered a 3-4 inch scar. I'm not sure what I was expecting and I'd told the surgeon I wasn't worried about having a scar (when he seemed reluctant to do keyhole surgery).  However, something a little disheartening about having this long scar across my body.  

I guess it's more of a personal self-image issue than a public one, given that I retired the itsy-bitsy-teeny-weeny bikini when I had kids. Not being able to do my hair nice or wear my cute clothes doesn't help much.

I will need to watch my diet during this period of recovery. I'd gone over 2 months without eating carbs,losing 15 lbs before the surgery.  Since people from church are being kind and bringing us dinner each night, I felt it fair to not impose requirements on them. So, I'll just need to be mindful that my appendix was removed, not my self-control over thought and feeling!

One thing is clear, it was a miracle things worked out how they did.  I was really not in what I would've said was "critical pain", I just felt I needed to go to the hospital.  When they sent me home, it could have gotten much worse overnight. 

Back home

I just got back home after my night in the hospital.  I did not get much sleep last night, mainly because I usually sleep on my side or front, and that's not possible right now.  Additionally, lack of drinking or eating left me with a headache and that makes sleep elusive.

It was fun that my friend who is a nurse at the hospital was working 3-11pm yesterday, but that's the only fun thing!

The doctor came in to see me at 7am today, and cleared me for clear liquids - thank God!!  I'd been asking for hours, but this surgeon is apparently one you don't mess with so no one was willing to buck instructions!  I finally had some juice and water - and some headache pills!  I then slept most of the morning.

After more liquids at lunch I asked for some pain meds, which did not agree with the water ice and I was sick.  I was worried it would stop me going home, but they just gave me anti-nausea meds.

Finally the doctor came back and told me I could go home.  The catch: I can not drive or go back to work for over a week.  Right now I can see why, I'm pretty fragile walking etc, but 9 days!  I really don't like having to sit still - I like to be lazy on my terms!

You'll be hearing plenty from me this week I guess!!

Road to Recovery

Here I am, all alone, ready for a night of rest.  It's kinda funny really, I don't particularly like hospitals or hotels, but my bed here is really comfy and I have no choice, so I'm making the most of the peace and quiet.

Unfortunately I am not allowed to eat or drink all night, which is a pain, but the drugs are keeping my appetite down and I have fluid through an IV.

I just Skyped Emma and Toby, as Scott went home to be with them.  I had told Scott's parents they could take the kids to Target for a new toy if they wanted, on us.  Emma got a Minnie Mouse and fairy Silvermist dress, Toby got a monster truck.  They were very excited, but still so sad when it was time to say goodbye.

It was the right call not to bring them in here because I would've had a hard time letting them go.

I have these cool wraps on my lower legs that periodically inflate like a blood pressure cuff to increase flow.  It's like getting a massage!

I'll keep you posted, but for now, good night!

Surgery went well and I'm in my room. Looks like I'll be in overnight and off work for a week.

I'm so thankful that we got it in time, before it burst and everything seems to have been straightforward.

The poor kids seem very upset, but I promised new toys before I left them this morning!

Emergency surgery

It feels surreal to be writing this, from a hospital bed (mine) in the ER! So often I've been the parent, but now I'm the patient.

It started yesterday with abdominal pain and a CT that didn't show much of anything. I was in the ER for about 4 hours and felt much better when I left.

The phone woke us up at 8:30am this morning (much later than we should have been up for church!). It was the ER doctor telling me radiology reviewed the scan today and believe I have appendicitis. Could I come back?

Duh, yes!! I scrambled to get up and dressed. Scott called his parents to watch the kids and we planned to rendezvous at the hospital.

Before I left the house the dr called again and told me not to eat anything and a surgeon was waiting to see me!!

Change of plan and Pops came over to get the kids so Scott could drive me.

I wasn't really scared about the surgery, no time for that!! I know God is giving me peace about it.

Even so, I wrote out a quick will, a video for the kids and now I'm just waiting.

It's quite sobering to be faced with your own mortality. All the people you wish you could talk to, or share the gospel with.

Death doesn't scare me, I know where I'm going! The thought of leaving loved ones behind who may not join me there, now that's scary!

I'll post again soon...

Jesus said to her: "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live even though they die. He who lives by believing in me will live and never die. Do you believe this?
John 11:25-26

Be Loud

One of the most significant things that I took from the conference this weekend is the need to raise awareness for Moebius Syndrome.  The goal is acceptance, communication and freedom for those affected with Moebius Syndrome, not fear, self-hatred or isolation.

The guest speaker at the end of the conference was Rick Guidotti, a fashion photographer who stepped outside of the bubble of stereotypical beauty because he saw the beauty in those with differences.  Quite the artist.

For some really inspirational images of different beauty visit http://www.positiveexposure.org/.

So, wherever you can, whenever you can, talk to people about Moebius Syndrome.  Awareness that there is such a thing will change the way people see everyone with facial differences. 

One of the stories given at the conference was of a sample lady at the mall who offered her product except the person with Moebius.  In fact, she didn't even look at them, despite them walking by several times.

In recent years, I have seen myself responding differently to people with all kinds of differences and disabilities.  Why?  Because all anyone wants is to be loved and accepted, and a smile while you look directly into that persons eyes means you have told them they are worth it.

There's probably nothing better that you can do to help Emma and others like her, than to spread the word that different is not wrong.

Bad Dream

For several weeks now Emma has been showing up in our bedroom around 3am each night claiming to have had bad dreams. (Except for nights she has been up all day and a late bedtime so she is zonked out!) 

We've been debating whether this is legitimate or a ploy so snuggle with us for the evening. At the conference this weekend it certainly seemed to be likely that it's behavioral and she is repeating a pattern that works. However, my perspective on the issue shifted last night. 

Every night when I put Emma to bed (because it "has" to be me if I'm in the house!), I pray with her and sing a song (my kids are the only people in the world who appear to enjoy my singing, or at least tolerate it!!). Subsequently, when Emma prays herself she uses much of the same pattern I do, based on Jesus' instruction on how to pray (Matthew 6:9) She often will, or ask me to pray for her to have good dreams. 

Last night she prayed... "Lord, thank you for my dreams. Please can you give me happy dreams so I can trust you. In Jesus' name, Amen" 

 Trusting God was the theme of VBS last week, and clearly in Emma's mind. I tried to explain that no matter what happens, we can trust God. Good or bad, the key is that God is with us and enables us to handle what we face. 

When she came in to me at 2.30am she was upset at another bad dream. She snuggled up with me. Then she said: "I prayed for good dreams, but I still had a bad dream." 

:( 

I know the scripture: 

"Which of you, if your son asks for bread, will give him a stone? Or if he asks for a fish, will give him a snake? If you, then, though you are evil, know how to give good gifts to your children, how much more will your Father in heaven give good gifts to those who ask him! (Matthew 7:9-11 NIV) 

So, if it's hard for me to understand why Emma still is having bad dreams (if indeed she is!), I can only imagine the confusion she feels. We tell her to pray, and she believes that means God will do as she asks. 

This is something I think so many of us struggle with. We pray for or about something, but it stays the same or gets worse. 

I always think back to Jesus, who, when he was faced with his imminent suffering, also prayed to His Heavenly Father: 

“Abba, Father,” he said, “everything is possible for you. Take this cup from me. Yet not what I will, but what you will.” Mark 14:36 

 And that's the key. Often we are not willing to accept that God's plan may not be the same as ours. If we do not get the answer we want to our prayers, quickly enough, in rebellious independence, we set about making the outcome we want ourselves. 

However, Jesus shows us that, in trust and faith, we can surrender to God's plan, and in doing so receive the peace of knowing that we are in His hands or protection and provision. After all, most parents know that you can't keep your kids safe if they don't follow your instructions! 

When she woke up this morning I spoke to Emma. I explained that even though she still had a bad dream, we can still trust God. Either the dreams will stop, in God's timing, or maybe he is teaching her to be brave through the dreams. 

I don't know the answer, but trust is the reliance on the integrity, strength, ability, surety, etc., of [God]. I choose to believe God's promises (and there are many times He has made good on those promises to me), and no matter what happens I will trust God.