Praise the Lord!
November:
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May:
Tuesday, May 13, 2008
Milestone
Emma is now 6 months old! I can't believe it. I'm not sure if it's been a long six months or short six months! I just know it's a blessing that she is doing so great. Just look at how far she's come!
Praise the Lord!
November:
April:
November:
May:
November:
May:
December:
May:
Praise the Lord!
November:
April:November:
May:
November:
May:
December:
May:
Plan B
So we had to stop adding the teaspoon of formula to Emma's milk as she was pooping too often - suggesting she was not absorbing the nutrients. So we have switched to plan b - lipids! Lipids are basically fat in a liquid. We will add 3ml of lipids to every feed which will increase the calories without doing too much to the volume.
Before arranging delivery of a regular supply of lipids, which are expensive, we popped down to the hospital to pick up a few bottles to try out.
While we were there who should we see but Emma's NICU neighbor! That's right, the baby boy who had the room next door the whole time was there for a follow-up. They are a nice family and have far more to deal with than we do.
It was so nice to see them and have a mini reunion! Speaking of which, the fetal surgery department holds a reunion in June for all former patients. We'll be heading to that to catch up with the doctors and people we met (not that I don't see them pretty regularly anyway!!) It will give Scott a chance to meet the new doctors we're seeing and say hi to the others as he doesn't come to the appointments.
I took the opportunity to ask Emma's nutritionist why she's not gaining weight as she should. Turns out that she, and the GI doc are happy with Emma's growth! It's the pulmonologist that feels she should be growing faster.
I'm sure it will work out! As for now I think someone's hungry - and I've already eaten!!
Before arranging delivery of a regular supply of lipids, which are expensive, we popped down to the hospital to pick up a few bottles to try out.
While we were there who should we see but Emma's NICU neighbor! That's right, the baby boy who had the room next door the whole time was there for a follow-up. They are a nice family and have far more to deal with than we do.
It was so nice to see them and have a mini reunion! Speaking of which, the fetal surgery department holds a reunion in June for all former patients. We'll be heading to that to catch up with the doctors and people we met (not that I don't see them pretty regularly anyway!!) It will give Scott a chance to meet the new doctors we're seeing and say hi to the others as he doesn't come to the appointments.
I took the opportunity to ask Emma's nutritionist why she's not gaining weight as she should. Turns out that she, and the GI doc are happy with Emma's growth! It's the pulmonologist that feels she should be growing faster.
I'm sure it will work out! As for now I think someone's hungry - and I've already eaten!!
Sunday, May 11, 2008
A new experience for a new mother
It was only moments after being awoken at 8am with breakfast in bed that my enthusiasm for Mother's Day piqued! After a solid night of sleep and bacon & eggs surely it couldn't get any better?!
As you can see, Emma (with Daddy's help) got me some new cooking utensils, which I wanted, and flowers. Not to forget the bubbles - not sure whose idea they were!!
Well, I got to take a long shower without having to listen for cries, get myself ready for church while Scott dressed Emma in the dress I bought yesterday! (Yes, she is the cutest thing!)
At church the celebration of mothers was akin to a sorority of women who have made caring for little ones a part of their life's mission (they didn't even need to be biological mothers to be included!). Scott even took Emma out when she started fussing so I could listen without distraction.
Emma and Nate posed once more for the parental paparazzi...
As for the rest of the day, we joined friends and family at four different gatherings, celebrating our favorite mothers, who all seemed to be getting a day of pampering.
Clearly as a child I had not grasped this format for the day and feel bad for my own mum who really got a card and flowers and not much else. Well, here's to you Mum - you deserve 29 days of pampering and celebration. I wish I could be closer to make them a reality!! They say it's the thought that counts though, right? Hopefully it will bring you joy to know that I hope I can be as great a mum to Emma as you have been to me.
With love.
As you can see, Emma (with Daddy's help) got me some new cooking utensils, which I wanted, and flowers. Not to forget the bubbles - not sure whose idea they were!!
Well, I got to take a long shower without having to listen for cries, get myself ready for church while Scott dressed Emma in the dress I bought yesterday! (Yes, she is the cutest thing!)
At church the celebration of mothers was akin to a sorority of women who have made caring for little ones a part of their life's mission (they didn't even need to be biological mothers to be included!). Scott even took Emma out when she started fussing so I could listen without distraction.
Emma and Nate posed once more for the parental paparazzi...
As for the rest of the day, we joined friends and family at four different gatherings, celebrating our favorite mothers, who all seemed to be getting a day of pampering.
Clearly as a child I had not grasped this format for the day and feel bad for my own mum who really got a card and flowers and not much else. Well, here's to you Mum - you deserve 29 days of pampering and celebration. I wish I could be closer to make them a reality!! They say it's the thought that counts though, right? Hopefully it will bring you joy to know that I hope I can be as great a mum to Emma as you have been to me.
With love.
Happy Mothers Day (US)!
So it's my first official Mothers Day being a mother (the UK already had mother's day but I wasn't there so it doesn't count!). I can't say I'm particularly excited, I'm not really sure what it means, oh - other than I get the day off! Scott tells me I don't have to do anything tomorrow, including get up for feeds. Just one day, it seems like a lot of effort to get excited only to be back to work the day after!!! ;-)
In all seriousness, I am wishing mothers everywhere a wonderful day tomorrow, whether with their children or not. After all we don't have kids because of what they do for us, but because - why do we have kids?
What did you answer? I hope it wasn't to look after you in your old age, or for the child tax credit!! I have to say that the only reason I have for having Emma is because I wanted a child to pour my heart into. I have always loved babies, and my own child - how much fun to have my own to love and raise.
Really, there is no other logical reason! They wreak havoc on your lifestyle, suck your wallet dry, cause you many occasions of worry and despair and, quite often I'm sure, someday tell you they wish you'd leave them alone! If it wasn't about our love for our children our families would not work because all too often children don't show us much love!!
Yet knowing all this we can't wait to create this new little being that will occupy much of our time for the rest of our lives!
I am so thankful for Emma and the privilege of being her mother.
Thinking about it, you have got to wonder what God was thinking when he created a whole race of us, and how he feels when we act like the runaway teenager that does not want to acknowledge they even have parents who know what's best. He waits patiently for us to turn to him and ask for his guidance and the way to peace and rest.
In all seriousness, I am wishing mothers everywhere a wonderful day tomorrow, whether with their children or not. After all we don't have kids because of what they do for us, but because - why do we have kids?
What did you answer? I hope it wasn't to look after you in your old age, or for the child tax credit!! I have to say that the only reason I have for having Emma is because I wanted a child to pour my heart into. I have always loved babies, and my own child - how much fun to have my own to love and raise.
Really, there is no other logical reason! They wreak havoc on your lifestyle, suck your wallet dry, cause you many occasions of worry and despair and, quite often I'm sure, someday tell you they wish you'd leave them alone! If it wasn't about our love for our children our families would not work because all too often children don't show us much love!!
Yet knowing all this we can't wait to create this new little being that will occupy much of our time for the rest of our lives!
I am so thankful for Emma and the privilege of being her mother.
Thinking about it, you have got to wonder what God was thinking when he created a whole race of us, and how he feels when we act like the runaway teenager that does not want to acknowledge they even have parents who know what's best. He waits patiently for us to turn to him and ask for his guidance and the way to peace and rest.
Friday, May 9, 2008
Neverending Story
Where was I? That's right, we have completed all 5 of our appointments this week with physical therapy yesterday and occupational therapy today. Both therapists were impressed with Emma's progress and strength, which was more pronounced as it's been a month and two weeks respectively since they saw her.
They also agreed that they think her weakness in the left arm is from torticollis, not the nerve damage the doctors had suggested earlier in the weak. Mainly because she has far more strength and ability than you would expect.
We do need to get back to working on her turning her head - as she's gotten stronger she turns her body instead, so her range of motion has stalled!
However, like I said, everyone this week has been really pleased with her progress.
Now, we started adding the formula and as we feared, she's been pooping more often which could mean she's not tolerating it well. I have emailed the nutritionist today but if I don't hear back I'm going to stop adding it until I do.
In a strange twist Scott is worried about the lack of growth because the doctors aren't! I'm not so worried, but I think that's because I'm not sure what we should be worried about!
We have started to notice a habit Emma seems to have picked up from me - watching TV! This afternoon we were chatting online with my parents and Scott obstructed her view of the TV. She yelled until he moved! And as you can see from this picture, it's clearly too easy!
They also agreed that they think her weakness in the left arm is from torticollis, not the nerve damage the doctors had suggested earlier in the weak. Mainly because she has far more strength and ability than you would expect.
We do need to get back to working on her turning her head - as she's gotten stronger she turns her body instead, so her range of motion has stalled!
However, like I said, everyone this week has been really pleased with her progress.
Now, we started adding the formula and as we feared, she's been pooping more often which could mean she's not tolerating it well. I have emailed the nutritionist today but if I don't hear back I'm going to stop adding it until I do.
In a strange twist Scott is worried about the lack of growth because the doctors aren't! I'm not so worried, but I think that's because I'm not sure what we should be worried about!
We have started to notice a habit Emma seems to have picked up from me - watching TV! This afternoon we were chatting online with my parents and Scott obstructed her view of the TV. She yelled until he moved! And as you can see from this picture, it's clearly too easy!
Watching Dancing With The Stars with us!Oh well, we can only do what we can do [aka "it is what it is!"].
Wednesday, May 7, 2008
Mixed bag
Two appointments today: Dr. B - feeding & nutrition, Dr. W - Neurology. Both doctors were really pleased with Emma's progress and how well she is doing.
Dr B. has instructed us to add a teaspoon of formula to every feed for Emma. This will increase the calories without increasing volume. There was an alternative of just adding fat to the milk, but they don't want her to get just fat, she needs to grow. The formula will also add protein and nutrition. It's also important that she doesn't get fat because it would give her a fatty liver - bad!!
She's getting taller and developing well otherwise. We go back in a month.
Dr W tested her reflexes and other cues. She was impressed with how interactive Emma is, compensating for the lack of eye movement by moving her head. She noted that she is a little weak all over, but for a baby that spent so much time in hospital she is doing great.
Emma really has some great doctors that are so caring and supportive. If only we didn't have to deal with the other side. Insurance.
When we left the hospital we were given a bunch a of appointments. We went to the appointments and the follow-ups that we were given. Only today, for the first time did someone tell me that we needed referrals from her pediatrician for the insurance to pay for them. Anyone know how much it costs to meet with top doctors? Me neither, so you can imagine the anxiety I'm feeling.
We may be able to get retro-active referrals, but cannot guarantee the insurance will accept them.
In the UK there are two main things people complain about - gas prices and hospital waiting times. In the US there are two main things people complain about - gas prices and insurance. So far gas is still cheaper here, so the US still has something going for it! Seriously though, the insurance side of things has been the biggest source of anxiety for me! Why? Because it is dependent on people. Emma's health is really in God's hands, and I'll do everything I need to for my part.
Once again Emma's wonderful progress is tainted by stress!
Emma, on the other hand is carefree, (and nap-free!)...
Dr B. has instructed us to add a teaspoon of formula to every feed for Emma. This will increase the calories without increasing volume. There was an alternative of just adding fat to the milk, but they don't want her to get just fat, she needs to grow. The formula will also add protein and nutrition. It's also important that she doesn't get fat because it would give her a fatty liver - bad!!
She's getting taller and developing well otherwise. We go back in a month.
Dr W tested her reflexes and other cues. She was impressed with how interactive Emma is, compensating for the lack of eye movement by moving her head. She noted that she is a little weak all over, but for a baby that spent so much time in hospital she is doing great.
Emma really has some great doctors that are so caring and supportive. If only we didn't have to deal with the other side. Insurance.
When we left the hospital we were given a bunch a of appointments. We went to the appointments and the follow-ups that we were given. Only today, for the first time did someone tell me that we needed referrals from her pediatrician for the insurance to pay for them. Anyone know how much it costs to meet with top doctors? Me neither, so you can imagine the anxiety I'm feeling.
We may be able to get retro-active referrals, but cannot guarantee the insurance will accept them.
In the UK there are two main things people complain about - gas prices and hospital waiting times. In the US there are two main things people complain about - gas prices and insurance. So far gas is still cheaper here, so the US still has something going for it! Seriously though, the insurance side of things has been the biggest source of anxiety for me! Why? Because it is dependent on people. Emma's health is really in God's hands, and I'll do everything I need to for my part.
Once again Emma's wonderful progress is tainted by stress!
Emma, on the other hand is carefree, (and nap-free!)...
Tuesday, May 6, 2008
One down
That's one appointment down, four to go!!
Today Emma and I made it out the house at 7.40 am. I was shooting for 7.30, so that's pretty good! I think Emma was disgruntled because I normally cuddle up with her in bed to try and get her back to sleep. Not today!
While we were waiting to see the doc the team from Fetal Surgery saw us and came over. The doctor that delivered Emma, the ultrasound technician and nurse practitioner who took care of me during the latter stages of pregnancy. We see them on most visits as they are on the same floor.
At every appointment she gets weighed, and for that she has to be naked. To save time I gave up the idea of dressing her in cute outfits, and she goes in an all-in-one with poppers (snaps). She weighed in at 11lbs 12oz, which is 8oz more than last Monday, and the scale was on the low-side the last time she was on it. That's good news, however Dr. R, the pulmonologist (he is the primary doctor with Moebius experience) said she is still not within normal weight range, she should have been packing on the ounces in catch-up weight.
Still, he's not overly worried. Ideally a baby that is born growth-retarded should have caught up by the end of the first year, so she still has 6 months.
Other than that he was really pleased with her. She is developing well and he said she is vocalizing earlier than other Moebius kids he has seen (and they normally come to him at 1 year!).
I may have mentioned before that she does not use her left arm much, and Dr. R. thinks there may be some weakness to it. The arms are not usually affected by Moebius though, so she may have trapped a nerve when she was born, but she should grow out of it and the therapists are working with her on it.
Thankfully we have been cleared to fly, so we should be heading to the UK soon! She won't need oxygen, but her saturation level may drop below 90% as it will drop to 90% for everyone on board! Scott and I will need to be vigilant with the monitor, silencing the alarm that sounds if she drops below 90%!
After our appointment we stopped by the NICU and found that only one of Emma's nurses was working! It was a shame but we visited for a few minutes with the receptionists! Perhaps we'll stop in again tomorrow after our appointments with GI and Neurology!
Right now, Emma's catching up on her missed morning nap and hopefully she'll take another later in the afternoon!
Today Emma and I made it out the house at 7.40 am. I was shooting for 7.30, so that's pretty good! I think Emma was disgruntled because I normally cuddle up with her in bed to try and get her back to sleep. Not today!
While we were waiting to see the doc the team from Fetal Surgery saw us and came over. The doctor that delivered Emma, the ultrasound technician and nurse practitioner who took care of me during the latter stages of pregnancy. We see them on most visits as they are on the same floor.
At every appointment she gets weighed, and for that she has to be naked. To save time I gave up the idea of dressing her in cute outfits, and she goes in an all-in-one with poppers (snaps). She weighed in at 11lbs 12oz, which is 8oz more than last Monday, and the scale was on the low-side the last time she was on it. That's good news, however Dr. R, the pulmonologist (he is the primary doctor with Moebius experience) said she is still not within normal weight range, she should have been packing on the ounces in catch-up weight.
Still, he's not overly worried. Ideally a baby that is born growth-retarded should have caught up by the end of the first year, so she still has 6 months.
Other than that he was really pleased with her. She is developing well and he said she is vocalizing earlier than other Moebius kids he has seen (and they normally come to him at 1 year!).
I may have mentioned before that she does not use her left arm much, and Dr. R. thinks there may be some weakness to it. The arms are not usually affected by Moebius though, so she may have trapped a nerve when she was born, but she should grow out of it and the therapists are working with her on it.
Thankfully we have been cleared to fly, so we should be heading to the UK soon! She won't need oxygen, but her saturation level may drop below 90% as it will drop to 90% for everyone on board! Scott and I will need to be vigilant with the monitor, silencing the alarm that sounds if she drops below 90%!
After our appointment we stopped by the NICU and found that only one of Emma's nurses was working! It was a shame but we visited for a few minutes with the receptionists! Perhaps we'll stop in again tomorrow after our appointments with GI and Neurology!
Right now, Emma's catching up on her missed morning nap and hopefully she'll take another later in the afternoon!
Saturday, May 3, 2008
Friday Pics
Earlier on Friday, Emma goes au naturel and enjoys the warmer weather! (I had to change her clothes because I got milk on them!!)
Later on we break the rule about eating in front of the TV as Emma gets supper while watching What not to wear upside down - her favorite way!
Later on we break the rule about eating in front of the TV as Emma gets supper while watching What not to wear upside down - her favorite way!
Friday, May 2, 2008
Pity party is over!
When Emma was born I stepped down as a youth leader in our church. Much the same as my job, I did not know when I would be able to return and anything less than full commitment would be unfair to the team and youth. The past few weeks Scott has been with the youth and I have attended the adult bible study, which has been like a spiritual top-up!
When Scott came home this afternoon I was napping on the sofa (yay!) and the baby was in her crib sleeping. When we woke up he knew I was not feeling good. I would say joyless would describe my day! He encouraged me to get out of the house and called his mom to come and babysit (yes, Ellen has been wonderful!).
We joined the youth group at the bowling alley for a couple of cames and I had SOOO much fun! It was great to spend time with the kids and our friends who are also leaders. It was exactly what I needed. AND it helped me too realize I'm not depressed - I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself that easily if I was.
Tomorrow Grandma Ellen and Pops are watching Emma for a few hours so that I can go and get my hands dirty and help with the church renovation! Can you say Power Tools!! Scott also said he'd do the night shift on Saturday so I can get 8 hours of sleep. I'll need every minute of it - we have 3 hospital appointments and two therapies next week!!
When Scott came home this afternoon I was napping on the sofa (yay!) and the baby was in her crib sleeping. When we woke up he knew I was not feeling good. I would say joyless would describe my day! He encouraged me to get out of the house and called his mom to come and babysit (yes, Ellen has been wonderful!).
We joined the youth group at the bowling alley for a couple of cames and I had SOOO much fun! It was great to spend time with the kids and our friends who are also leaders. It was exactly what I needed. AND it helped me too realize I'm not depressed - I wouldn't be able to enjoy myself that easily if I was.
Tomorrow Grandma Ellen and Pops are watching Emma for a few hours so that I can go and get my hands dirty and help with the church renovation! Can you say Power Tools!! Scott also said he'd do the night shift on Saturday so I can get 8 hours of sleep. I'll need every minute of it - we have 3 hospital appointments and two therapies next week!!
Still waiting!
For some reason I thought this parenting thing got easier as time goes on! I'm still waiting.
The long nights actually seem to be getting harder. Why is it that tasks are so much harder and more frustrating at 1am, than they are in the daylight? This week Scott has had to get up because he's heard me getting frustrated over the baby monitor! Nothing serious, just some harsh words to the feed bag!
I know he wants to help, but asking him to get up during the night is firstly more work than doing it myself, but also he is as tired as me from work! He needs to get the sleep so he can focus at work and not get hurt!!
This week Scott's mom came over to watch Emma for a few hours while I got some extra sleep (thanks Ellen!). That was great and gave me a boost, but I don't want to do that too often - the day time is Emma's "therapy" time and she's doing so well.
I am hopeful that we can work out a new feeding schedule that won't require a middle of the night feed. It's not as simple as leaving it out, we have to add the calories in somewhere else for her to gain weight, and I don't think we can increase the volume any more.
As it turns out she skipped her 1am feed last night - I hooked it up and went back to sleep. When I returned at 4am only 25% had gone in because of some air in the line. Normally it would all be in within a half hour and I would go back at 2am, but last night I did not have the energy. She didn't wake up hungry at all!
I just watched Gwyneth Paltrow talk about her post-partum depression and she was saying that the sleep deprivation is a huge contributor to depression. I would have to agree, but so far I think the occasional good sleep has kept me sane. Emma's naps are too short and sporadic for me to do anything less than grab a sandwich!
This is really only as hard as it is because I feel so responsible for Emma's development through doing all the therapy things, plus advocating for her with the medical and insurance people.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing about it! I don't know anyone who's been through the same thing - everyone's different, so perhaps I should just assume that I'm doing a super job!! And at least Emma seems to be happy and healthy, which is really all I want!
The long nights actually seem to be getting harder. Why is it that tasks are so much harder and more frustrating at 1am, than they are in the daylight? This week Scott has had to get up because he's heard me getting frustrated over the baby monitor! Nothing serious, just some harsh words to the feed bag!
I know he wants to help, but asking him to get up during the night is firstly more work than doing it myself, but also he is as tired as me from work! He needs to get the sleep so he can focus at work and not get hurt!!
This week Scott's mom came over to watch Emma for a few hours while I got some extra sleep (thanks Ellen!). That was great and gave me a boost, but I don't want to do that too often - the day time is Emma's "therapy" time and she's doing so well.
I am hopeful that we can work out a new feeding schedule that won't require a middle of the night feed. It's not as simple as leaving it out, we have to add the calories in somewhere else for her to gain weight, and I don't think we can increase the volume any more.
As it turns out she skipped her 1am feed last night - I hooked it up and went back to sleep. When I returned at 4am only 25% had gone in because of some air in the line. Normally it would all be in within a half hour and I would go back at 2am, but last night I did not have the energy. She didn't wake up hungry at all!
I just watched Gwyneth Paltrow talk about her post-partum depression and she was saying that the sleep deprivation is a huge contributor to depression. I would have to agree, but so far I think the occasional good sleep has kept me sane. Emma's naps are too short and sporadic for me to do anything less than grab a sandwich!
This is really only as hard as it is because I feel so responsible for Emma's development through doing all the therapy things, plus advocating for her with the medical and insurance people.
I'm not even sure why I'm writing about it! I don't know anyone who's been through the same thing - everyone's different, so perhaps I should just assume that I'm doing a super job!! And at least Emma seems to be happy and healthy, which is really all I want!
Thursday, May 1, 2008
Picture post
Here are some pictures that my mum took while we were chatting via webcam! Thought I'd share...
Wednesday, April 30, 2008
Selective frugality!
No matter how much I fret about finances (and that's regardless of what state they're in!!) I somehow have no problem spending money on Emma! I'm not so worried about toys at this stage, but I will pick up the odd cute outfit and anything that we think might help her development.
Today I simply had to go to the pharmacy. Beforehand I stopped by my friends house for a while. From there I headed to Babies R' Us - did I mention she needs a summer sleepsack? I had a look at the Bumbo seats there and they didn't have the right color, so I popped in to Target, where they happened to be on sale. I then dropped off some things at the church, by which time Emma was due for lunch (as was I) so we headed home.
That's right, I totally forgot the pharmacy! But look how cute Emma looks in her Bumbo...
And, my hero, Scott is hitting the pharmacy on his errand run!
Did I mention I picked up a cute sundress for just $6? Now if only the weather will stay on track!
Today I simply had to go to the pharmacy. Beforehand I stopped by my friends house for a while. From there I headed to Babies R' Us - did I mention she needs a summer sleepsack? I had a look at the Bumbo seats there and they didn't have the right color, so I popped in to Target, where they happened to be on sale. I then dropped off some things at the church, by which time Emma was due for lunch (as was I) so we headed home.
That's right, I totally forgot the pharmacy! But look how cute Emma looks in her Bumbo...
And, my hero, Scott is hitting the pharmacy on his errand run!
Did I mention I picked up a cute sundress for just $6? Now if only the weather will stay on track!
Tuesday, April 29, 2008
Pictures included!
We got an email from Emma's nutritionist within hours and increased her feeds to 140ml, an increase of over 10%! So far she has been tolerating it well and when we go to the hospital next week we hope to see some weight gain.
Emma is increasingly active with a love for waving her arms and legs! also a favorite is pulling on any tube or wire she can find, which includes her feeding tube (she's tried to eat the end of that), her feeding bag (she laid on the sofa today pulling at the tube, watching the hanging bag shake!) and her pulse-ox wire that is attached to her foot!
Here she is after being caught waving the bag!
This afternoon Scott came home and picked up Emma as soon as he could! It chokes me up to see how he can't wait to see her! Of course after they'd both had dinner the inevitable happened:
Later on as we debated who would make a trip to pick up some milk Emma started to cry from her crib. Scott drew the short straw (I think!) and went out while I went to tend the baby. Now all the books say not to stimulate the baby too much, just get in and get out so they will get back to sleep. Tell me if you could find this and not at least want to give her a quick squeeze!
Emma is increasingly active with a love for waving her arms and legs! also a favorite is pulling on any tube or wire she can find, which includes her feeding tube (she's tried to eat the end of that), her feeding bag (she laid on the sofa today pulling at the tube, watching the hanging bag shake!) and her pulse-ox wire that is attached to her foot!
Here she is after being caught waving the bag!
This afternoon Scott came home and picked up Emma as soon as he could! It chokes me up to see how he can't wait to see her! Of course after they'd both had dinner the inevitable happened:
Later on as we debated who would make a trip to pick up some milk Emma started to cry from her crib. Scott drew the short straw (I think!) and went out while I went to tend the baby. Now all the books say not to stimulate the baby too much, just get in and get out so they will get back to sleep. Tell me if you could find this and not at least want to give her a quick squeeze!
Monday, April 28, 2008
Inspiring message
On Sunday PB started a series looking at the life of Noah and inspired me! Here's my take on the sermon, and what I have read elsewhere.
PB started out with the background that we rarely look at next to the cutesie pictures of the
The LORD saw how great man's wickedness on the earth had become, and that every inclination of the thoughts of his heart was only evil all the time. The LORD was grieved that he had made man on the earth, and his heart was filled with pain. So the LORD said, "I will wipe mankind, whom I have created, from the face of the earth—men and animals, and creatures that move along the ground, and birds of the air—for I am grieved that I have made them." But Noah found favor in the eyes of the LORD. Genesis 6:5-8
So there it is, God was going to wipe out everything and everyone on the face of the planet. But one man (and because of him, his family) were spared because of his heart for God.
Now even though God chose to spare him, it was not that simple. There was one condition – Noah had to build an
However, as I understand it, Noah, who lived in a land-locked place and had never seen rain (the earth was watered from the ground up until this point) had to build a giant boat. Thankfully he was not required to round-up the animals – the Bible says the animals came to him (after all, this was God’s plan and He can direct the animals!).
But Noah wasn’t a ship-builder, so taking this huge step of faith, spending many years building a boat for a flood that The Weather Channel had not confirmed. And all the while, he’s surrounded by people who don’t give a hoot about God! The people around him are living life doing as they please, doing things that I’m sure they knew were contradictory to God’s commandments. Even if they are “good” people, they are not living for God’s purposes, and that put’s them at odds with God.
Amongst all of this, it’s easy to imagine that Noah took some abuse for his wild and crazy theory on the flood that was coming. Even if he didn’t run around like Chicken Little, shouting “the end is nigh”, his very occupation of building this boat was like a siren saying he believed judgement was coming and he was determined to be saved even if it meant standing alone amongst the non-believers. His actions were in effect condemning their lives.
This account is so much bigger than just a boat to save some animals! It’s about having Ark-sized faith in what God says, if you have personally experienced his power in your life. And maybe it’s about seeing those who have had that experience and in some way changed their life as a result and thinking that it may be time to decide what you’ll do when the flood comes.
The last part of this account is the rainbow:
I have set my rainbow in the clouds, and it will be the sign of the covenant between me and the earth. Whenever I bring clouds over the earth and the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will remember my covenant between me and you and all living creatures of every kind. Never again will the waters become a flood to destroy all life. Whenever the rainbow appears in the clouds, I will see it and remember the everlasting covenant between God and all living creatures of every kind on the earth." Genesis 9:13-16
The flood won’t return, but Jesus will.
I wanted to share this with you because it’s such a great example of faith that I can only dream of, but aspire to. I’m never going to be perfect and I can’t even say for sure I’d have the courage to give it all up to build an Ark, but if you ever think I’m nuts and standing on my soapbox too long, just call me Noah!
Weekend Update
I had a great birthday on Saturday and Sunday was pretty good too!
Today we had a visit from a nurse with the homecare supply company. She seemed pretty surprised that she was sent seeing as we are proficient in caring for Emma! Anyhow, she noticed some photos I had taken in Africa and asked me about them. Turns out she is a new Christian that came to Jesus because of her daughter! I got the opportunity to encourage her and hopefully made her day a little better.
Then we headed to the pediatrician to get weighed. we were optimistic because Emma seems to get heavier every day! Unlike previous visits she was pre-feed so I expected the increase to be a little lower. However, a gain of 1oz in 2 weeks (yes, ounce, not pound!) is not good.
I am a little frustrated because I don't know what to do. The pediatrician thinks we should increase the volume of feeds, but defers to the specialists (who said to not change anything last time). I have been following the specialists guidelines to the letter, but still I feel like somehow it's my fault that she's not gaining weight. (Yes, irrational guilt issue, I know.)
Hopefully the specialists will email me back soon and at least give me some idea of what they're planning. It's hard to leave this all up to the doctors, but I really don't have a better idea!
We are back at the hospital next week for follow-ups with neurology, pulmonology and GI!
Today we had a visit from a nurse with the homecare supply company. She seemed pretty surprised that she was sent seeing as we are proficient in caring for Emma! Anyhow, she noticed some photos I had taken in Africa and asked me about them. Turns out she is a new Christian that came to Jesus because of her daughter! I got the opportunity to encourage her and hopefully made her day a little better.
Then we headed to the pediatrician to get weighed. we were optimistic because Emma seems to get heavier every day! Unlike previous visits she was pre-feed so I expected the increase to be a little lower. However, a gain of 1oz in 2 weeks (yes, ounce, not pound!) is not good.
I am a little frustrated because I don't know what to do. The pediatrician thinks we should increase the volume of feeds, but defers to the specialists (who said to not change anything last time). I have been following the specialists guidelines to the letter, but still I feel like somehow it's my fault that she's not gaining weight. (Yes, irrational guilt issue, I know.)
Hopefully the specialists will email me back soon and at least give me some idea of what they're planning. It's hard to leave this all up to the doctors, but I really don't have a better idea!
We are back at the hospital next week for follow-ups with neurology, pulmonology and GI!
Saturday, April 26, 2008
I am H-A-P-P-Y
We had so much fun at the Aquarium I can't even tell you! I touched a stingray, jellyfish and two sharks!! I also came face to face with a huge hippo, with only thick glass between us (No, it was not a mirror!).
Scott thought it was funny that I was so excited about the weird creatures and cool exhibits, like fish with legs and frogs that look like moss! I darted from case to case while he pushed the stroller!
Emma got a free penguin as we went in, so we didn't need to get her a souvenir! We grabbed a bite to eat as soon as we went in, she fell asleep and stayed asleep the whole time we were there!!
We came home via Target (success - 3 new tops!!) pretty tired, so we opted for a Chinese take-out buffet at home for dinner and the rest of the family came over with a cake (yeah, baby!!)
Scott thought it was funny that I was so excited about the weird creatures and cool exhibits, like fish with legs and frogs that look like moss! I darted from case to case while he pushed the stroller!
Emma got a free penguin as we went in, so we didn't need to get her a souvenir! We grabbed a bite to eat as soon as we went in, she fell asleep and stayed asleep the whole time we were there!!
We came home via Target (success - 3 new tops!!) pretty tired, so we opted for a Chinese take-out buffet at home for dinner and the rest of the family came over with a cake (yeah, baby!!)
(The last picture, of me hurrying Scott along, before the battery ran out!)Spending the day with my husband and baby girl - priceless!
Friday, April 25, 2008
No doubt
So we are having a webchat with my parents and Emma is sat in her rocker (which is where I put her when she gets fed). Sat behind the rocker, I look over and say "What?" to her and she makes this sound. I thought it might be the start of a cry because she'd been fussing when I put her in there. So I did it again, and so did she!
My parents and I enjoyed listening to Emma crack up at me! I called Scott so he could hear too and he said to video it. So I did, and here it is! Enjoy this wonderful sound (Emma laughing, not me - sorry if it's loud, I was right by the microphone and very excited!!)
My parents and I enjoyed listening to Emma crack up at me! I called Scott so he could hear too and he said to video it. So I did, and here it is! Enjoy this wonderful sound (Emma laughing, not me - sorry if it's loud, I was right by the microphone and very excited!!)
Birthday plans
When we were kids my sister and I would often stay with our grandparents during school breaks. We used to do so many different things (ask me and I'll list them!) but one of my favorite was going to the aquarium. We went several times (I think) and I loved to see all the weird creatures, especially an octopus! I'm not really a zoo person though! Maybe the fish seem more free - I didn't think Finding Nemo was real (not like some after seeing Happy Feet - you know who you are!!)
So, for my birthday we are going to the aquarium! I am so excited. I hope that we can create some wonderful memories as a family by doing things together and feeding Emma's imagination.
Now, I need to clear off my digital camera memory - we have only 6 photos left! (There is room for 1500 on there, but some of the memory is taken up with video!)
This week we three stopped by ICF. ICF is the church that is in a building that we helped to rennovate from an industrial space 3 years ago. As I stood on the porch in the warm sun, looking at the street that was so familiar to us the whole year of the rennovations I got thoughtful.
This time three years ago Scott and I had been engaged for 3 days! We were spending most of our free time at ICF, grabbing late dinners together afterward. Boy did we eat a lot of take-out food! I can remember it so vividly, but it's hard to believe that just three years have passed. We are approaching our second wedding anniversary, and have a baby almost 6 months old!
The past 12 months have probably been the hardest, but the best, and that is one of the strangest notions! Sure things could have been easier, could have been different, but as far as my experience, each year gets better than the one before!
So, for my birthday we are going to the aquarium! I am so excited. I hope that we can create some wonderful memories as a family by doing things together and feeding Emma's imagination.
Now, I need to clear off my digital camera memory - we have only 6 photos left! (There is room for 1500 on there, but some of the memory is taken up with video!)
This week we three stopped by ICF. ICF is the church that is in a building that we helped to rennovate from an industrial space 3 years ago. As I stood on the porch in the warm sun, looking at the street that was so familiar to us the whole year of the rennovations I got thoughtful.
This time three years ago Scott and I had been engaged for 3 days! We were spending most of our free time at ICF, grabbing late dinners together afterward. Boy did we eat a lot of take-out food! I can remember it so vividly, but it's hard to believe that just three years have passed. We are approaching our second wedding anniversary, and have a baby almost 6 months old!
The past 12 months have probably been the hardest, but the best, and that is one of the strangest notions! Sure things could have been easier, could have been different, but as far as my experience, each year gets better than the one before!
Wednesday, April 23, 2008
Love a duck
Emma had a visit from a speech therapist today. She will be working with her once a month, in addition to the physical therapist (gross motor skills) and occupational therapist (fine motor skills). All the therapists were so surprised at how good Emma is doing after her eventful beginnings.
Specifically she said she would not expect much more verbal communication for a baby without the medical challenges. She gave us some things that we can do with Emma to encourage her to "talk" more. One is for me to talk all day, describing everything we do. No problem, I hear you say! Yeah, I'm not that talkative that I find it easy to talk to myself!
Another thing is repeating certain sounds to her, sounds that babies usually make first. They are:
Ba
Be
Bi
Bo
Bu
And then the same vowel arrangement after D, M and N. Each one repeated 5 times and pausing to allow her to respond. Apparently B, D, M and N are the first consonants babies use!
Something else you may not know - Emma loves her duck! Check it out (I don't think it talks back!)
Specifically she said she would not expect much more verbal communication for a baby without the medical challenges. She gave us some things that we can do with Emma to encourage her to "talk" more. One is for me to talk all day, describing everything we do. No problem, I hear you say! Yeah, I'm not that talkative that I find it easy to talk to myself!
Another thing is repeating certain sounds to her, sounds that babies usually make first. They are:
Ba
Be
Bi
Bo
Bu
And then the same vowel arrangement after D, M and N. Each one repeated 5 times and pausing to allow her to respond. Apparently B, D, M and N are the first consonants babies use!
Something else you may not know - Emma loves her duck! Check it out (I don't think it talks back!)
As for Emma's cold, she's still fighting it, but is otherwise much like herself.
Just a thought
Today I read this in a devotional:
Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is going ahead and doing what you’re called to do in spite of your fear.
You can have faith that God wants you to do something and still be scared to death. You have to begin with the faith you already have: it may be just a little, but you start there. You take your little faith, “Lord, I believe! Help me with my unbelief!” You put it in our big God, and then he’ll show you how he works out huge results.
Sometimes people will say they don’t want to go to church or make a commitment to Christ until they understand it all.
What I took from it? You can't wait until you're 100% sure and not scared to move forward.
I could list many things that I am fearful of, not only in my life but in the lives of my family. But I won't! Instead I'll just say that I am not giving up hope that we will all be together in eternity. Whatever happens in this life is but for a short time. What we need to think about is how we want to spend eternity. (If you don't believe that life is eternal you probably get much more depressed about your birthday than I will!!)
Nothing in life makes complete sense. But if we had to understand everything completely before we trusted it we would probably live in a cave alone!
Courage is not the absence of fear. Courage is going ahead and doing what you’re called to do in spite of your fear.
You can have faith that God wants you to do something and still be scared to death. You have to begin with the faith you already have: it may be just a little, but you start there. You take your little faith, “Lord, I believe! Help me with my unbelief!” You put it in our big God, and then he’ll show you how he works out huge results.
Sometimes people will say they don’t want to go to church or make a commitment to Christ until they understand it all.
What I took from it? You can't wait until you're 100% sure and not scared to move forward.
I could list many things that I am fearful of, not only in my life but in the lives of my family. But I won't! Instead I'll just say that I am not giving up hope that we will all be together in eternity. Whatever happens in this life is but for a short time. What we need to think about is how we want to spend eternity. (If you don't believe that life is eternal you probably get much more depressed about your birthday than I will!!)
Nothing in life makes complete sense. But if we had to understand everything completely before we trusted it we would probably live in a cave alone!
Tuesday, April 22, 2008
Yesterday afternoon I ran some errands (no success on the shopping front! :-( ) and when I came home this is what I found:
Emma got plenty of sleep yesterday and still slept all night.
Today she was more like herself, wanting to play, but she still has a cough and plenty of [whisper] snot! Thankfully we have been able to keep her clear enough that her oxygen level is good.
Always looking for new ways and places to make Emma comfortable this afternoon she staked her claim on the one and only recliner:
Emma got plenty of sleep yesterday and still slept all night.
Today she was more like herself, wanting to play, but she still has a cough and plenty of [whisper] snot! Thankfully we have been able to keep her clear enough that her oxygen level is good.
Always looking for new ways and places to make Emma comfortable this afternoon she staked her claim on the one and only recliner:
"One million dollars!"We have now booked our hotel for the Moebius conference and it looks really nice! It has a pool, nice rooms and our meals are included with the conference, so it should be a nice mini-break as well as finally giving us some answers about what to expect for Emma.
Monday, April 21, 2008
It's a cold
At least it looks that way. I had an email back from Dr. R this morning (how awesome to be able to email a top doctor on Sunday night and get an answer back Monday morning! We are so blessed.) and he said it is probably a cold, or teething and not to worry too much if her SATs (% of oxygen, saturation, in her blood) are okay - between 90-100%. Thankfully they are in range.
However, poor Emma sounds terrible. We had to suction her for several minutes last nigth to get all the snot and drool out. (sorry! TMI?) Even then she still sounded congested but we couldn't bear her screaming at having the tube down her nose and throat.
NB: There is no worse scream than one you're responsible for!
We found that when she was laying on her belly she did not have to clear her throat so much and relaxed. So, we broke the major rule about letting a baby sleep on their belly. She was out like as light and sounded great, SATs and heart-rate looked great.
Of course I could not leave her like that - she still struggles to lift her head when tired, so after an hour or so I put her on her side and she slept the rest of the night.
She has now been sleeping for most of the morning (on her belly!) which is just fine as she needs regular suctioning when she's awake. That was not an issue in the hospital, but apparently she has developed an acute aversion to it and pulls her head out of the way and grabs the device making it tough to do! At least asleep she is not aware of the discomfort and I can just keep an eye on her.
I pray that this is short lived and she'll be back to herself soon. Until then it's probably best to keep her at home and as comfortable as possible. I don't want to take the chance it could get worse by going out and about.
I guess I'll do some laundry...
However, poor Emma sounds terrible. We had to suction her for several minutes last nigth to get all the snot and drool out. (sorry! TMI?) Even then she still sounded congested but we couldn't bear her screaming at having the tube down her nose and throat.
NB: There is no worse scream than one you're responsible for!
We found that when she was laying on her belly she did not have to clear her throat so much and relaxed. So, we broke the major rule about letting a baby sleep on their belly. She was out like as light and sounded great, SATs and heart-rate looked great.
Of course I could not leave her like that - she still struggles to lift her head when tired, so after an hour or so I put her on her side and she slept the rest of the night.
She has now been sleeping for most of the morning (on her belly!) which is just fine as she needs regular suctioning when she's awake. That was not an issue in the hospital, but apparently she has developed an acute aversion to it and pulls her head out of the way and grabs the device making it tough to do! At least asleep she is not aware of the discomfort and I can just keep an eye on her.
I pray that this is short lived and she'll be back to herself soon. Until then it's probably best to keep her at home and as comfortable as possible. I don't want to take the chance it could get worse by going out and about.
I guess I'll do some laundry...
Sunday, April 20, 2008
Peace and joy
So I did get my hair cut, and I am very happy with it! It's great to hold Emma up to my shoulder without worrying about it getting in her eyes or mouth! Not to mention she can't pull on it now!
I also went shopping and got a couple of things, but I will be hitting Target this week for more!
A new haircut and a couple of new tops has a wonderful ability to make you feel like a new person, or it may just be me! A new lease on life, and half the time to wash and style!! (Not to mention reduced shampoo costs.)
It may be just in time. Scott and I have a few concerns about Emma that I have just shared with her doctor in an email. Allow me to elaborate...
Emma is probably missing some nerves in her throat which affects her swallowing. This is why she is fed through a tube - feeding by mouth could lead to choking or aspiration. Increasingly Emma is coughing. We had thought it was because she was getting her food to fast, but now we think she is having to clear her throat more. She has a lot more saliva, which is thick and sticky, and doesn't swallow it efficiently. This will only get worse as she starts teething etc.
The good news is her oxygen levels are doing great. It's just a pain for her because she wakes herself up with a cough, the same way we do when we have a cold. We have been suctioning her and there isn't really anything else we can do at this point. Her position does not make a difference.
So here is my plea: please join us in praying for her health and comfort. We want no less than complete healing for our baby, including the Moebius Syndrome and we believe God can do it. However we also know that there is a purpose behind all struggles and we are committed to his plan, knowing it offers the peace and joy of God. Therefore at the very least we pray Emma would be able to rest well and grow strong.
If you are looking for peace and rest from struggles in your life I would be happy to let you know how Jesus can provide it. Unless you've been reading for a while and know that God's peace surpasses all understanding!
I also went shopping and got a couple of things, but I will be hitting Target this week for more!
A new haircut and a couple of new tops has a wonderful ability to make you feel like a new person, or it may just be me! A new lease on life, and half the time to wash and style!! (Not to mention reduced shampoo costs.)
It may be just in time. Scott and I have a few concerns about Emma that I have just shared with her doctor in an email. Allow me to elaborate...
Emma is probably missing some nerves in her throat which affects her swallowing. This is why she is fed through a tube - feeding by mouth could lead to choking or aspiration. Increasingly Emma is coughing. We had thought it was because she was getting her food to fast, but now we think she is having to clear her throat more. She has a lot more saliva, which is thick and sticky, and doesn't swallow it efficiently. This will only get worse as she starts teething etc.
The good news is her oxygen levels are doing great. It's just a pain for her because she wakes herself up with a cough, the same way we do when we have a cold. We have been suctioning her and there isn't really anything else we can do at this point. Her position does not make a difference.
So here is my plea: please join us in praying for her health and comfort. We want no less than complete healing for our baby, including the Moebius Syndrome and we believe God can do it. However we also know that there is a purpose behind all struggles and we are committed to his plan, knowing it offers the peace and joy of God. Therefore at the very least we pray Emma would be able to rest well and grow strong.
If you are looking for peace and rest from struggles in your life I would be happy to let you know how Jesus can provide it. Unless you've been reading for a while and know that God's peace surpasses all understanding!
Saturday, April 19, 2008
New life
It is my 29th birthday soon (it's okay, I'm not ashamed of my age, yet!) Instead of a gift I told Scott I wanted to get my hair done and do some shopping (not spend to much, but get out in the city and go shopping - I love to do that! There's fun in the time spent, not just the items bought!)
Unfortunately my hairdresser is away next Saturday so I am going in this weekend! I am very excited. I last had a significant change in style after we got married, and well, it's time for another! When I look in the mirror I see the same face and body that was there a year ago ( a bit smaller actually!!) but the person is very different. I feel like now would be a fun time to try something new, and it wil grow back if it doesn't work out!
So Friday evening, before bed I went an extra step and gave myself a pedicure and manicure so that tomorrow I'll feel polished, head to toe! To enhance the mood I watched What Not to Wear and similar shows. The last one was about a British couple getting married to each other for the second time (yes, each other, but it's not relevant) after having had a baby (they kept saying she was a miracle baby, not sure why but it stirred something).
I turned the TV off and headed upstairs (Scott already asleep by midnight because he's working tomorrow). As I walked past Emma's door I felt compelled to go in. I went over to her crib, turned on the light (she's out of it, so didn't wake up!) and sat down. I just sat there and watched her (I didn't take a picture, sorry!) all snuggled up with her pacifier wedged under her chin!
It was all I could do not to snatch her up and give her a big kiss.
Looking past all the appointments, monitors, therapy and schedules, Emma is the best birthday gift I could want (already being married to Scott of course!). Sometimes it is hard to see the baby girl for all the work that comes with her, but I plan to go and stand over her often so I never forget how precious a gift she is. (Maybe not so much when she's a teenager and her floor is strewn with neck-breaking mess!)
Unfortunately my hairdresser is away next Saturday so I am going in this weekend! I am very excited. I last had a significant change in style after we got married, and well, it's time for another! When I look in the mirror I see the same face and body that was there a year ago ( a bit smaller actually!!) but the person is very different. I feel like now would be a fun time to try something new, and it wil grow back if it doesn't work out!
So Friday evening, before bed I went an extra step and gave myself a pedicure and manicure so that tomorrow I'll feel polished, head to toe! To enhance the mood I watched What Not to Wear and similar shows. The last one was about a British couple getting married to each other for the second time (yes, each other, but it's not relevant) after having had a baby (they kept saying she was a miracle baby, not sure why but it stirred something).
I turned the TV off and headed upstairs (Scott already asleep by midnight because he's working tomorrow). As I walked past Emma's door I felt compelled to go in. I went over to her crib, turned on the light (she's out of it, so didn't wake up!) and sat down. I just sat there and watched her (I didn't take a picture, sorry!) all snuggled up with her pacifier wedged under her chin!
It was all I could do not to snatch her up and give her a big kiss.
Looking past all the appointments, monitors, therapy and schedules, Emma is the best birthday gift I could want (already being married to Scott of course!). Sometimes it is hard to see the baby girl for all the work that comes with her, but I plan to go and stand over her often so I never forget how precious a gift she is. (Maybe not so much when she's a teenager and her floor is strewn with neck-breaking mess!)
Friday, April 18, 2008
Thursday, April 17, 2008
New discoveries
Raising a child is a journey of discovery! Allow me to share some of my most recent discoveries that add to the excitement...
- Emma's eye drops leave a PERMANENT grease stain on clothing!
- There is a way I can hold her when she's tired that she falls right to sleep. But I have to have my feet up!
- Changing a feed bag in the dark usually leads to spilled milk!
- Emma is not slightly bothered by the vacuum cleaner.
- My singing is entertaining, not soothing.
- Emma can shuffle her way around the crib so that she wakes up 180 degrees from where we laid her! And it's in a clockwise direction!
- Plastic rings are no substitute for a pacifier!
- There is more than one way to hold said pacifier:
Wednesday, April 16, 2008
Parking lot
Today has been a great day, sun shining, warm breeze etc. A good day for Emma and I to head into the city to visit the office where I used to work. Everyone was excited to meet Emma and I always love it when they find out she is just as cute as her pictures, if not more so, and does not show signs of the complex start in life she has had!
After a great lunch (ah, sushi!) we headed back to the car. On the way I called Scott to let him know we'd be home in about a half hour. All I had to do was take her out of the stroller and into her car seat. Pretty straight forward?
Yeah, not this time! Before I took her out of the stroller I changed her wet diaper and vented her (letting the air out of her belly through the tube) as she had been fed a little while before. Out of the stroller, into the car seat and there it was, the sound that so frequently comes after a diaper change and why we go through so many! You know the sound I mean, I don't need to go there!
As she was already buckled I made the decision that another change would wait until we got home (is that cruel? she goes for longer at night!) Well, then she gagged - the sound she makes when she has air in her belly and needs venting. (It's a horrible sound and I can not bear it when I'm driving!)
I half unbuckled her and plugged in the tube. Out came the air and with it some of the milk from her belly. Once all the air came out I unplugged the tube, let the air out and plugged it back in to put back the milk.
All done, lift the car seat to put it in the car and see the feeding tube laying there. Can you guess? I didn't plug it in right but I couldn't see where it went, so carried on.
After all that I had to change her diaper - a crying baby is not conducive to safe highway driving! When I took her out the seat I found her clothes were soaked with milk! So I had to change her diaper AND clothes, on the back seat of the car in a dark parking lot!
All that took about a half hour! Good thing I had enough money to pay the higher parking tarif!
I thought it was a pretty funny story and if you know me, and how the feeding tube works I think you can get a good visual of the situation!
On the down side today, the hospital has told us we can't take their equipment to the UK because they wouldn't be able to fix it if it broke. they tried to find a company that could help in the UK but nada. Their solution? We should buy a pulse oximeter and suction machine. HELLO!! They would be $400 a month to rent them! mmm, may have to figure something else out!
After a great lunch (ah, sushi!) we headed back to the car. On the way I called Scott to let him know we'd be home in about a half hour. All I had to do was take her out of the stroller and into her car seat. Pretty straight forward?
Yeah, not this time! Before I took her out of the stroller I changed her wet diaper and vented her (letting the air out of her belly through the tube) as she had been fed a little while before. Out of the stroller, into the car seat and there it was, the sound that so frequently comes after a diaper change and why we go through so many! You know the sound I mean, I don't need to go there!
As she was already buckled I made the decision that another change would wait until we got home (is that cruel? she goes for longer at night!) Well, then she gagged - the sound she makes when she has air in her belly and needs venting. (It's a horrible sound and I can not bear it when I'm driving!)
I half unbuckled her and plugged in the tube. Out came the air and with it some of the milk from her belly. Once all the air came out I unplugged the tube, let the air out and plugged it back in to put back the milk.
All done, lift the car seat to put it in the car and see the feeding tube laying there. Can you guess? I didn't plug it in right but I couldn't see where it went, so carried on.
After all that I had to change her diaper - a crying baby is not conducive to safe highway driving! When I took her out the seat I found her clothes were soaked with milk! So I had to change her diaper AND clothes, on the back seat of the car in a dark parking lot!
All that took about a half hour! Good thing I had enough money to pay the higher parking tarif!
I thought it was a pretty funny story and if you know me, and how the feeding tube works I think you can get a good visual of the situation!
On the down side today, the hospital has told us we can't take their equipment to the UK because they wouldn't be able to fix it if it broke. they tried to find a company that could help in the UK but nada. Their solution? We should buy a pulse oximeter and suction machine. HELLO!! They would be $400 a month to rent them! mmm, may have to figure something else out!
Tuesday, April 15, 2008
Strollin
This afternoon I took Emma for her first walk around the neighborhood. I've been nervous about doing it just because I don't know if the sunlight hurts her eyes. As it was she seemed to enjoy it - I was careful to make sure her face was always in shade!
I'm sure Scott was confused when he got home and we weren't around though the car was!
We even stopped to speak to some people in the neighborhood out in their front yard.
I am so proud to show Emma off to people, but I'm still learning that when someone asks how old she is or praises her beautiful eyes I don't need to add the reason she is smaller than you'd expect, or why her eyes are quite so big!
I can only imagine how things will be as she gets older, but one thing is for sure, we will work it out together.
I'm sure Scott was confused when he got home and we weren't around though the car was!
We even stopped to speak to some people in the neighborhood out in their front yard.
I am so proud to show Emma off to people, but I'm still learning that when someone asks how old she is or praises her beautiful eyes I don't need to add the reason she is smaller than you'd expect, or why her eyes are quite so big!
I can only imagine how things will be as she gets older, but one thing is for sure, we will work it out together.
no nap
Yesterday was a "no-nap" day for me! That was a pity because Sunday night was almost a "no-sleep" night! By the time Scott came home I felt pretty burned out (I had some insurance issues to deal with too - the US medical insurance system really makes you appreciate the NHS!)
Thankfully he loves to play with Emma, so he gave her her bath and put her to bed. He made her laugh a couple more times first though (is it wrong to be jealous that I can't do it!!).
When we finally turned in for the night we were listening to the Veggie Tales CD that was playing in Emma's room, via the baby monitor! It was so funny I had to switch it for the instrumental CD we've had since last year, just so I could go to sleep. The CD was playing 24/7 in the hospital and I think we've actually burned it out now! So we left the CD player off. Apparently though I need the music to sleep now!!
Emma was back up again at 4am, and since I needed to pump I brought her downstairs with me where she usually falls back asleep. I was watching her half asleep, fight with herself to get her pacifier. I couldn't resist capturing it for you, enjoy!
Monday, April 14, 2008
Gaining weight
Great news - Emma gained 12oz in the past 13 days! She is now 11lbs 4oz which is exactly double her birth weight. She is 22.75" long.
Everything is going well and I'm pleased to say that I am having a quiet day! (Emma is currently trying to tell me why she does not want to nap in her crib at the present time! I wonder what words she'd be using if she could talk!!)
So, I took the opportunity to snap some pics of the bathroom facelift! it wouldn't be complete without the pictures of how it looked before!
Before...
After...
Since it was just a facelift we couldn't change the wall tile, tub or toilet, so we tried to incorporate them.
Here are the other features we added: (these pictures are really just my way of saying how proud I am of Scott for his great work!)
Both the new light fixture and recessed lighting are new - Scott could be an electrician!! The hotel shower rod is curved making the space in the tub much bigger when closed!
Everything is going well and I'm pleased to say that I am having a quiet day! (Emma is currently trying to tell me why she does not want to nap in her crib at the present time! I wonder what words she'd be using if she could talk!!)
So, I took the opportunity to snap some pics of the bathroom facelift! it wouldn't be complete without the pictures of how it looked before!
Before...
After...
Since it was just a facelift we couldn't change the wall tile, tub or toilet, so we tried to incorporate them.
Here are the other features we added: (these pictures are really just my way of saying how proud I am of Scott for his great work!)
Both the new light fixture and recessed lighting are new - Scott could be an electrician!! The hotel shower rod is curved making the space in the tub much bigger when closed!
Sunday, April 13, 2008
Definitely, maybe
Today's church service was Family Day, where the whole service has a kiddie vibe and Pastor Bob's alter-ego Wally reeks havoc! We had so many kids and family's there because afterwards was the annual Pinewood Derby. Emma is so well behaved and sits quietly through each service and today was no exception.
She gets lots of attention from everyone and we love to show her off. I know it's hard for people not to touch her, but everyone's been great. I wonder why we have a compulsion to touch babies! I know I do it too. Someone should do a study!
Scott went to help out with the derby, so Emma and I came home after church and took a long nap. Well, in total! It was actually three shorter naps! The first Emma was in her crib, the rest she came into the big bed with me. I think she'd have been fine to get up, but I needed sleep and she always falls asleep with me.
We got up about 5pm and had dinner as a family. This weekend has been so great, just the three of us hanging out. I'm sure it could seem boring to some, but how I've longed for some "normalcy"!
While Scott was laying on the floor bouncing Emma on his belly this strange noise came out of her mouth, one we hadn't heard before. Every time he pushed her up and made a loud noise, she made this noise. It wasn't a cry, and it was not a regular sound. We think she laughed!
It came out like a "HA". We did it as many times as we could get her to do.
Assuming she was actually laughing it is so incredibly exciting!
She gets lots of attention from everyone and we love to show her off. I know it's hard for people not to touch her, but everyone's been great. I wonder why we have a compulsion to touch babies! I know I do it too. Someone should do a study!
Scott went to help out with the derby, so Emma and I came home after church and took a long nap. Well, in total! It was actually three shorter naps! The first Emma was in her crib, the rest she came into the big bed with me. I think she'd have been fine to get up, but I needed sleep and she always falls asleep with me.
We got up about 5pm and had dinner as a family. This weekend has been so great, just the three of us hanging out. I'm sure it could seem boring to some, but how I've longed for some "normalcy"!
While Scott was laying on the floor bouncing Emma on his belly this strange noise came out of her mouth, one we hadn't heard before. Every time he pushed her up and made a loud noise, she made this noise. It wasn't a cry, and it was not a regular sound. We think she laughed!
It came out like a "HA". We did it as many times as we could get her to do.
Assuming she was actually laughing it is so incredibly exciting!
Quality time
Yesterday was such a nice day. Why? It was pretty unremarkable!
Scott and Emma slept in the living room on Friday night so that I could sleep through for 8 hours. We all got up about 10am!! Scott spent a few hours finishing the flooring in the bathroom - he moved the toilet and thank goodness he did, the fixtures were barely there!! So we got that fixed as well.
After a quiet lunch we headed out in the car to IKEA!!! Thankfully it was not too busy, probably due to the awesome weather! We really only went to get some knick knacks for the bathroom, which we did, a night light for Emma, which we did (a giant pink flower that lights up, with a green cord!!) and the inevitable things that you didn't know you needed!!
Emma, wonderful baby that she is, was super good and only started to fuss toward the end. We weren't sure why until I asked Scott the time. It was 5.45pm and Emma was due a feed at 5pm!! She wasn't even crying, just fussing.
Well, feeding Emma can be tricky in a public place! She was in her carriage stroller so it was easy to access her g-tube, but when you have to hang a large syringe from the handle bar and then prime the feeding tube before connecting, well you get the point! Scott did an admirable job of this in the bathroom section of IKEA! Just as well, we didn't get home until 7.30pm.
We kicked of the pre-summer season by grilling some burgers for dinner! Sometimes simple is best!
Last night Scott stayed up to do the 1am feed, so I got some significant rest before the 5am feed. I've been up since then tidying up, doing some laundry etc so that we can go straight to nap-time after church!
Have a great day!
Scott and Emma slept in the living room on Friday night so that I could sleep through for 8 hours. We all got up about 10am!! Scott spent a few hours finishing the flooring in the bathroom - he moved the toilet and thank goodness he did, the fixtures were barely there!! So we got that fixed as well.
After a quiet lunch we headed out in the car to IKEA!!! Thankfully it was not too busy, probably due to the awesome weather! We really only went to get some knick knacks for the bathroom, which we did, a night light for Emma, which we did (a giant pink flower that lights up, with a green cord!!) and the inevitable things that you didn't know you needed!!
Emma, wonderful baby that she is, was super good and only started to fuss toward the end. We weren't sure why until I asked Scott the time. It was 5.45pm and Emma was due a feed at 5pm!! She wasn't even crying, just fussing.
Well, feeding Emma can be tricky in a public place! She was in her carriage stroller so it was easy to access her g-tube, but when you have to hang a large syringe from the handle bar and then prime the feeding tube before connecting, well you get the point! Scott did an admirable job of this in the bathroom section of IKEA! Just as well, we didn't get home until 7.30pm.
We kicked of the pre-summer season by grilling some burgers for dinner! Sometimes simple is best!
Last night Scott stayed up to do the 1am feed, so I got some significant rest before the 5am feed. I've been up since then tidying up, doing some laundry etc so that we can go straight to nap-time after church!
Have a great day!
Saturday, April 12, 2008
Thanks
Thank you all for your prayers and well wishes. Emma and I are both doing much better.
Emma was back on form pooping yesterday and I think her sleep problem has probably been due to a change in the schedule we have informally been following! We're trying to get her back on schedule, if only we knew what it was!!
I'm doing better and have hopefully worked through the problem. I'll be watching for signs of fever etc and will not be shy about seeking medical attention!
Yesterday Grandma kept Emma busy while Scott and I tackled the bathroom project. We had not done anything to it since moving in (except cleaning) so in addition to replacing the vanity we also put on a coat of paint, some new lighting and storage. To make the facelift (as opposed to a renovation) complete we are sticking down some adhesive tiles! And then praying we won't have to replace anymore pipes for some time! Pictures will be posted later!
It was so great working together on this project. Scott and I formed our relationship over this type of team work at the church, in Africa etc. I had not been able to help when pregnant and since Emma was born we hadn't had the chance.
Today we're getting in some quality family time!
Emma was back on form pooping yesterday and I think her sleep problem has probably been due to a change in the schedule we have informally been following! We're trying to get her back on schedule, if only we knew what it was!!
I'm doing better and have hopefully worked through the problem. I'll be watching for signs of fever etc and will not be shy about seeking medical attention!
Yesterday Grandma kept Emma busy while Scott and I tackled the bathroom project. We had not done anything to it since moving in (except cleaning) so in addition to replacing the vanity we also put on a coat of paint, some new lighting and storage. To make the facelift (as opposed to a renovation) complete we are sticking down some adhesive tiles! And then praying we won't have to replace anymore pipes for some time! Pictures will be posted later!
It was so great working together on this project. Scott and I formed our relationship over this type of team work at the church, in Africa etc. I had not been able to help when pregnant and since Emma was born we hadn't had the chance.
Today we're getting in some quality family time!
Friday, April 11, 2008
Prayer request
I woke up a few minutes ago in a certain amount of discomfort. I thought I was simply very engorged so I went to pump. However it became clear right away that something was not right and at the very least I have a badly blocked duct. It could turn out to be mastitis again, but I do not have a fever and have not been feeling run-down, that I can discern.
After pumping and much massage there is less of a mass, but still plenty of pain. I will continue to try and work it through today, but I fear I may need to seek medical attention and have not got a local doctor to go to!
On the other hand, Emma's breathing seems to have been pretty labored all night and she has had low oxygen levels about 5 times, whereas we have rarely seen it drop more than once in a night. For the past few days she's only pooped once the whole day and seems to be sleeping less.
Please keep us in your prayers.
After pumping and much massage there is less of a mass, but still plenty of pain. I will continue to try and work it through today, but I fear I may need to seek medical attention and have not got a local doctor to go to!
On the other hand, Emma's breathing seems to have been pretty labored all night and she has had low oxygen levels about 5 times, whereas we have rarely seen it drop more than once in a night. For the past few days she's only pooped once the whole day and seems to be sleeping less.
Please keep us in your prayers.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Sunny disposition
The bathroom is still out of commission, there is still a layer of dust on most surfaces, but you know what? The sun is SHINING and it's going to be a beautiful day (yes, warm enough for flip-flops!).
We had plans to visit friends this weekend for our first family trip. However, because we simply have to get the bathroom back on-line and putting that off until next week simply isn't smart we have had to change our plans. The situation brought to mind this scripture, so apt for much of our recent life!
Brian and Chrissie - we WILL make it out to you soon.
Trying to adapt our plans, Emma and I hit the road to go and see what bathroom fixture the Home Depot is offering. I was pleasantly surprised. If we didn't have inches of cement to pull up I'd even think we could re-do the bathroom in one weekend - or have I been watching too many shows on TV!
Back home and Emma is in her summer gear playing on the floor! It would be wonderful to take her outside, but she keeps her eyes closed when it's this bright (she can't squint, remember) and we don't have any leaves on our trees for shade!
There will be time for all that!
We had plans to visit friends this weekend for our first family trip. However, because we simply have to get the bathroom back on-line and putting that off until next week simply isn't smart we have had to change our plans. The situation brought to mind this scripture, so apt for much of our recent life!
Now listen, you who say, "Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money." Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow. What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes. Instead, you ought to say, "If it is the Lord's will, we will live and do this or that."
James 4: 13-15
James 4: 13-15
Brian and Chrissie - we WILL make it out to you soon.
Trying to adapt our plans, Emma and I hit the road to go and see what bathroom fixture the Home Depot is offering. I was pleasantly surprised. If we didn't have inches of cement to pull up I'd even think we could re-do the bathroom in one weekend - or have I been watching too many shows on TV!
Back home and Emma is in her summer gear playing on the floor! It would be wonderful to take her outside, but she keeps her eyes closed when it's this bright (she can't squint, remember) and we don't have any leaves on our trees for shade!
There will be time for all that!
Wednesday, April 9, 2008
Cry me a river
When I was seven months pregnant Scott and I began a six week renovation of our kitchen and dining room. For weeks we had a plastic sheet covering the archway into the living room and we lived on sandwiches, made inside the fridge, or take-out (not so bad for a pregnant food-lover!!).
One of the hardest aspects (after the cost of everything! ;-) was the dust that covered the rest of the house. It was unavoidable really, and I could say it was my hormones that made it so upsetting, but let's be real - I hate dirt, and even more, I hate dirt in my home!
So tonight when Scott ripped out the sink, wall and floor, without shutting the bedroom doors I think it was the straw that broke the camels back! My dresser had a layer of cement dust on it as I brought up the freshly laundered linens to make the bed. Poor guy, I feel so bad that I moaned about that like it's his fault our bathroom sucks.
He had to go take a shower at his parents because we can't turn the bathroom water back on - the faucet pipes have no shut-off!
I simply don't know whether to laugh or cry at the continuous trials that keep coming up! I lie, I wanted to cry but I think I'm all out of tears.
I don't even care about the money (someone print that and frame it - may not see it again!), I just don't know how I can face either renovations of our ONLY bathroom (yep!) or a temporary fix delaying the inevitable. Here all day. With a baby.
Finally, please pray for me - it is only my self-centeredness that makes this as big a problem as it is. I'm a big girl, I can admit that. I'm still learning how to get over myself and get on with what lies ahead. Anyone know the secret to it? Really??
I truly really hope you're having a better day. No sense in us both being down, right?
One of the hardest aspects (after the cost of everything! ;-) was the dust that covered the rest of the house. It was unavoidable really, and I could say it was my hormones that made it so upsetting, but let's be real - I hate dirt, and even more, I hate dirt in my home!
So tonight when Scott ripped out the sink, wall and floor, without shutting the bedroom doors I think it was the straw that broke the camels back! My dresser had a layer of cement dust on it as I brought up the freshly laundered linens to make the bed. Poor guy, I feel so bad that I moaned about that like it's his fault our bathroom sucks.He had to go take a shower at his parents because we can't turn the bathroom water back on - the faucet pipes have no shut-off!
I simply don't know whether to laugh or cry at the continuous trials that keep coming up! I lie, I wanted to cry but I think I'm all out of tears.
I don't even care about the money (someone print that and frame it - may not see it again!), I just don't know how I can face either renovations of our ONLY bathroom (yep!) or a temporary fix delaying the inevitable. Here all day. With a baby.
Finally, please pray for me - it is only my self-centeredness that makes this as big a problem as it is. I'm a big girl, I can admit that. I'm still learning how to get over myself and get on with what lies ahead. Anyone know the secret to it? Really??
I truly really hope you're having a better day. No sense in us both being down, right?
It doesn't rain, it pours
As we start to get a handle on things and I feel like I'm hitting stride something pops up to test us once more!
A few days ago our bathroom sink became blocked. As I have been shedding copious amounts of hair we assumed that I had caused the blockage. Our good friend, who is also a plumber came to take a look. They did pull a bunch of hair out, but guess what else they found? That's right, the pipe is leaking in the wall, somewhere between the bathroom and the basement!
So, what to do? Well, for now we are going to rip the sink off the wall and see if we can patch the leak. But inevitably some time soon we will need to replace the pipes, and well the bathroom!
Of course all of my HGTV research will come in handy for design, but so far I have not been hired as a design consultant so it's back to Scott's overtime to pay for it!
It's at times like this that the extra tiny half bathrooms really come in handy! Of course it doesn't really effect Emma. She has her own bath tub and does not use the sink! For me it just means I have to go up and down the stairs a few extra times at 1am, 2am, 5am and 6am to use the sink for feeds - but I'm not complaining!!
A few days ago our bathroom sink became blocked. As I have been shedding copious amounts of hair we assumed that I had caused the blockage. Our good friend, who is also a plumber came to take a look. They did pull a bunch of hair out, but guess what else they found? That's right, the pipe is leaking in the wall, somewhere between the bathroom and the basement!
So, what to do? Well, for now we are going to rip the sink off the wall and see if we can patch the leak. But inevitably some time soon we will need to replace the pipes, and well the bathroom!
Of course all of my HGTV research will come in handy for design, but so far I have not been hired as a design consultant so it's back to Scott's overtime to pay for it!
It's at times like this that the extra tiny half bathrooms really come in handy! Of course it doesn't really effect Emma. She has her own bath tub and does not use the sink! For me it just means I have to go up and down the stairs a few extra times at 1am, 2am, 5am and 6am to use the sink for feeds - but I'm not complaining!!
Monday, April 7, 2008
This morning an old friend asked me a question about Emma no-one else had! The question was "what does she do?" At first I was confused! When he repeated it I realized he meant "what does she do?" A question of genuine interest in my baby! Thanks Bret!
Now I know that most people know what Emma is up to because of the blog, but it was so great to just reel off all the things she is doing!! I'm such a proud mum!
So if you don't know, here's what she's doing...
Last night Emma slept from 8.30pm to 7am! It is awesome that she gets so much rest. Even better for her is that we feed her at 9pm, 1am and 5am and she does not need to wkae up for any of it! If only the same could be said for us! ;-)
Now I know that most people know what Emma is up to because of the blog, but it was so great to just reel off all the things she is doing!! I'm such a proud mum!
So if you don't know, here's what she's doing...
- grasping and waving toys
- holding and replacing her pacifier
- rolling onto her side, and from her side, onto her belly
- reaching for and grabbing toys while on her belly holding her head up
- baby chatting, including eye contact
- turning toward voices she recognizes
- sleeping in her own room
- generally being cute!
Last night Emma slept from 8.30pm to 7am! It is awesome that she gets so much rest. Even better for her is that we feed her at 9pm, 1am and 5am and she does not need to wkae up for any of it! If only the same could be said for us! ;-)
Sunday, April 6, 2008
Whine and dine
In church today Pastor Bob played this clip: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=R9ya9BXClRw If you can spare a few minutes, it is well worth watching, after all, how often is an Oprah segment played in church! It's not a Christian message, but on the whole it's powerful.
After watching it, and PB's sermon I was convicted about complaining about things. You see I don't really mean to complain about anything. Statements of fact, if something I'm not happy about seem to come out like that. Maybe that is the definition!
It is entirely possible that many of the things I journal on the blog day to day read like complaints, after all it is hard to write with inflection! So I am taking this opportunity to assure you that I find great joy in having been blessed with my baby girl. Even more than that, I feel blessed that I have been on this journey of discovery, with Emma and Scott, through some dark times, always feeling the warmth of God's presence and the light to guide us.
Every day that Scott is blessed with work, so I can take care of our precious gift is a joy. Every cry that let's us know she is totally aware of her surroundings, even if it's not happily, is a joy. Joy is a choice that cuts through fatigue. Much like love, which is also a choice.
you can be unhappy about something (late-night diaper changes, for example) but still take joy and love what you do! If I did not find joy in such things I would not jump up and tend to Emma when she needs it, without hesitation. That is not to say Scott doesn't, but at this time, Emma's care is one of my primary purposes, in which I am honored to serve.
One of my aims with the blog is to try and share the struggles and trials that we go through, not just because Emma has Moebius etcc, but just as new parents! To encourage others that we all go through trials, but in God strength and joy can always be found!
I have some very happy memories from my childhood, as does Scott and we long to give Emma even greater freedom and adventure to follow her dreams. (Referring to the video clip...) but I can not guarantee I'll ever be happy about her drawing on the walls!!
I guess after every complaint, and the temptation to feel dissatisfied I hope to take one more step to thank God that we are even here to experience these things that so many could only dream of.
After watching it, and PB's sermon I was convicted about complaining about things. You see I don't really mean to complain about anything. Statements of fact, if something I'm not happy about seem to come out like that. Maybe that is the definition!
It is entirely possible that many of the things I journal on the blog day to day read like complaints, after all it is hard to write with inflection! So I am taking this opportunity to assure you that I find great joy in having been blessed with my baby girl. Even more than that, I feel blessed that I have been on this journey of discovery, with Emma and Scott, through some dark times, always feeling the warmth of God's presence and the light to guide us.
Every day that Scott is blessed with work, so I can take care of our precious gift is a joy. Every cry that let's us know she is totally aware of her surroundings, even if it's not happily, is a joy. Joy is a choice that cuts through fatigue. Much like love, which is also a choice.
you can be unhappy about something (late-night diaper changes, for example) but still take joy and love what you do! If I did not find joy in such things I would not jump up and tend to Emma when she needs it, without hesitation. That is not to say Scott doesn't, but at this time, Emma's care is one of my primary purposes, in which I am honored to serve.
One of my aims with the blog is to try and share the struggles and trials that we go through, not just because Emma has Moebius etcc, but just as new parents! To encourage others that we all go through trials, but in God strength and joy can always be found!
I have some very happy memories from my childhood, as does Scott and we long to give Emma even greater freedom and adventure to follow her dreams. (Referring to the video clip...) but I can not guarantee I'll ever be happy about her drawing on the walls!!
I guess after every complaint, and the temptation to feel dissatisfied I hope to take one more step to thank God that we are even here to experience these things that so many could only dream of.
Friday, April 4, 2008
A big step
Thank you all for your encouragement. With the new day comes new possibilities!
Last night we took a big step and moved the crib, with it's tiny occupant, back into the nursery! Emma fell asleep about 8pm during the deconstruction and was put in the crib in her room for the first time at 9pm. She slept through until 6am.
Of course, she had moments of stirring etc but we left the light of and under cover of darkness placed the pacifier in her mouth! She didn't even wake up for diaper changes!
We got a basic baby monitor so that I could hear when she cries, not just when the alarm sounds on her medical monitor. It also meant that I could just leave her in her crib for a while when she was awake, and listen to her chatting away!
I also spoke to a couple of Moebius moms, and they reassured me that their babies did start to laugh even without smiling (well, I had to ask!). One also suggested we assume that if she's not crying then she is smiling! I'll give it a try and also keep talking to her etc.
Things are looking up!
Last night we took a big step and moved the crib, with it's tiny occupant, back into the nursery! Emma fell asleep about 8pm during the deconstruction and was put in the crib in her room for the first time at 9pm. She slept through until 6am.
Of course, she had moments of stirring etc but we left the light of and under cover of darkness placed the pacifier in her mouth! She didn't even wake up for diaper changes!
We got a basic baby monitor so that I could hear when she cries, not just when the alarm sounds on her medical monitor. It also meant that I could just leave her in her crib for a while when she was awake, and listen to her chatting away!
I also spoke to a couple of Moebius moms, and they reassured me that their babies did start to laugh even without smiling (well, I had to ask!). One also suggested we assume that if she's not crying then she is smiling! I'll give it a try and also keep talking to her etc.
Things are looking up!
Thursday, April 3, 2008
Feelings
You know those characters in movies that are quiet people, but when they do speak it's all negative? You can imagine how hard it would be to stay positive around them right? Now imagine that they speak a foreign language so all you here are the negative tones, without being able to respond to the specific issue.
That's is how I sometimes feel about Emma. If she's quiet, great. But some of the time she cries for no reason. I think that's probably how it is with most babies at first - especially when you're sleep deprived! However, I think by now (approaching 5 months) many babies start to smile, coo, maybe even laugh, and having been around those kind of babies I know that will make you feel special!
so I am struggling, still, with staying positive some of the time. Don't get me wrong, when she is kicking around and playing with her toys, or looking up at me and chatting, my heart swells. But say I'm driving in the car, like this afternoon and she's tired, rubbing her eyes (big no no) and crying. Well, it's all I can do not to cry! (Yes, a nap today would've helped us both!)
That's when those memories of pre-baby life seem so perfect (even though they had their own issues!). Thankfully I do realize that it's the selfish part of me that allows those thoughts, and when that happens I remind myself that Emma is not at fault, and I love her to pieces. I wouldn't go back to life before Emma, and I can deal with the tough times.
I wonder if things will get easier when she can show me I do make her happy at times. Though I suspect there is always a little grass-was-greener syndrome for us all!!
On a lighter note, when we got home this afternoon Scott took over and got her changed for a little exercise...
That's is how I sometimes feel about Emma. If she's quiet, great. But some of the time she cries for no reason. I think that's probably how it is with most babies at first - especially when you're sleep deprived! However, I think by now (approaching 5 months) many babies start to smile, coo, maybe even laugh, and having been around those kind of babies I know that will make you feel special!
so I am struggling, still, with staying positive some of the time. Don't get me wrong, when she is kicking around and playing with her toys, or looking up at me and chatting, my heart swells. But say I'm driving in the car, like this afternoon and she's tired, rubbing her eyes (big no no) and crying. Well, it's all I can do not to cry! (Yes, a nap today would've helped us both!)
That's when those memories of pre-baby life seem so perfect (even though they had their own issues!). Thankfully I do realize that it's the selfish part of me that allows those thoughts, and when that happens I remind myself that Emma is not at fault, and I love her to pieces. I wouldn't go back to life before Emma, and I can deal with the tough times.
I wonder if things will get easier when she can show me I do make her happy at times. Though I suspect there is always a little grass-was-greener syndrome for us all!!
On a lighter note, when we got home this afternoon Scott took over and got her changed for a little exercise...
I think he was channeling Jane Fonda!
Baby friends
As you can see here, Emma is a very friendly baby. This picture was snapped on easter Sunday as Emma and her buddy Nate (Pastor Bob's Grandson) chilled out between services! Nate is two months younger than Emma, but age is just a number!!Despite the innocent face Emma displays here, underneath lies a determined soul! This week we are learning about boundaries. Emma feels I should have none, and carry her around all day and hold her at will. I am working endlessly to try and construct some, that would allow me to get some chores done, or rest!
I have already had lots of "advice" on the matter and if only listening to her scream at the top of her lungs was not so, well, excruciating I would find it easier! I mean, how long is too long for a baby to be crying so hard?
I did flash back to the NICU today though, and the baby boy in the next room. He would cry so much all day, mainly for attention. I hope his Mom gets plenty of rest before they bring him home.
I fear I may have created a monster with Emma. I would happily leave her alone, but as she gets more mobile there are less places I can leave her unattended - she can roll over but struggles to keep her face out of the carpet for long. To plug her in to the monitor at these times would be futile as she kicks her legs so much to set the alarm off!
And so we daily dance the fine line between careful observation and paranoid fear!!
Oh, the 20 minute nap, after 30 minutes of crying is over! And so ends my respite!
Wednesday, April 2, 2008
Hard day
One grouchy baby, limited nap time and a session with the physical therapist - one tired baby!The session with the therapist was very encouraging and we have some things we can do with Emma to help her progress.
I'm sooo tired!!
Tuesday, April 1, 2008
Weighing in at...
... 10lbs 8oz!!! Can you believe it? Our prayers have been answered - 9ozs in 8 days. The pediatrician said babies should gain between a half and full ounce per day, so that is right on!
I will let the doctors know at the hospital and see if they want to make any changes to her nutrition, or just leave it and hope she keeps gaining.
On another note, the scar from her gastroschisis surgery may be infected, so please pray that there is no problem with that.
Emma and I are going to celebrate with, what else, a nap!!
I will let the doctors know at the hospital and see if they want to make any changes to her nutrition, or just leave it and hope she keeps gaining.
On another note, the scar from her gastroschisis surgery may be infected, so please pray that there is no problem with that.
Emma and I are going to celebrate with, what else, a nap!!
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