Red button

We found out today that Emma knows the color red. How? We were at a friends house and someone thought it would be funny to tell Emma to press the red button on our car remote, you know, the one that activates the alarm! (Thanks Mr. T!) She didn't hesitate in pressing it, and had not pressed any others prior to. We had to take the keys away as the temptation was too much for her.

__________________

This weekend was jam packed with things. On Saturday Scott played in a charity softball tournament all day. It was super hot so after the 8 hours in heat it was only fair that his team won the trophy!

In the meantime Emma and I went to a surprise birthday party. The party was at a house we'd never been too, with a pool and a Rottweiler! It was a complete surprise when Emma did not hesitate to walk all around the house, lacking all previous shyness. When we did go out by the pool she continued her exploration, which meant I followed her the entire time she walked around the pool! I won't complain - we asked for her to be able to walk!! Thankfully she does still listen when I give her directions!

In fact a new skill is that I can tell her to lay down so I can vent her belly and she does just that. even pulling her shirt up!

On Sunday we went to church as usual and I was interested in how much walking she would do here. I believe that she has been so hesitant to walk because of her limited vision - she can't move her eyes left or right and due to the torticolis has resistance turning her head. The small vision field must make it daunting in large crowds.

Not to worry, after initial shyness she got going and kept everyone entertained. So many people have followed her progress and are as excited by this new skill as we are (almost!!).

Then straight on to a christening - no nap!! She took a little snooze on Daddy's shoulder but not for long. Then it was off to the party...

At most functions their are a few little kids running around liberated by the large space and their parents distraction. Sometimes they can be annoying, but I've grown increasingly amused by them, especially the kids in our lives. I don't think I ever pictured Emma as one of those kids, it was just too big a stretch. Turns out she was just biding her time!

Again, with lots of people around who knew her story she had everyone entertained just by walking around. When she started dancing too we were all on cute overload! When she was given a gold dollar coin as a gift she carried it around with both hands like it was the most precious thing she'd ever seen!

Despite the total lack of sleep throughout the day she was still peppy when we put her to bed at 8.30pm! The good news is that Emma slept until 8.30am this morning - and so did Scott and I!!!

Pro-talker?

Today Emma had a speech therapy session. It's the first time in a month that Brooke, her therapist has seen her.

At our last session we introduced Emma to saying A, E, I, O and U. We were pretty impressed with how easily she made the sounds. Of course, Emma has been very verbal for some time and used varying sounds and inflection. We had even thought she made sounds close to the words for "all done", as well as Dada and Mama.

As you know on vacation she started saying "Uncle Scott" (and now calls "Scott" by name!), as well as things like up, down, off etc.

Brooke was blown away by Emma today. Not only the number of words she could articulate well, but also her confidence and willingness to repeat any of the words Brooke asked her to. In fact Emma said "bubble" very clearly, which surprised me!

I hadn't really stopped to consider just how great she's been doing with speech (distracted by the more obvious walking!), but in just a month she has really matured and come such a long way.

Brooke said that it has been documented that once children learn to walk their speech dramatically improves, so that fits! I wonder if it's because they really focus so hard on the walking that they ignore speech? just this morning Emma walked the length of the driveway and around the sidewalk in front of the house.

We also gave Emma some food while Brooke was here as she is also a feeding specialist. She also noticed the difference in Emma's eating. She has started to move her tongue out more to move the food around, and to the one side - this is a learned motion that babies pick up as they feed, Emma has to go through the same progression.

It has been an encouraging time!

Pro-walker

Emma has now officially been "walking" for 18 days. However, she is not walking like someone who took their first steps less than 3 weeks ago. She is walking with confidence (increasingly), carrying objects, changing direction etc. This is probably due to her age and the (really) long time she was walking holding hands and cruising on the furniture.

At therapy on Tuesday Melissa was saying that she is more advanced than a 12 month old who just started walking. To illustrate the point as Emma carried a block to me Melissa suggested she come and look in the box for more blocks. Emma instantly stopped and pivoted 180 degrees and went back to the box! She said that was awesome, so I am excited for Emma!

I am aware that some of these milestones may not seem like a big deal to other parents, but then I can only view it from our perspective. We were never sure how her development might be affected by her condition. It is a source of much joy that her body is catching up with her intellect.

Anyway, the past few days Emma has been walking all over the house. Often she is walking for the sake of it and follows me in the kitchen only to follow me right back out! Just today we stopped at the church to see Scott and she walked all around. I hope she will do it on Sunday, but I think all the people make her nervous, not to mention the jungle of legs!!

Last night I thought I would get it on video to show you.

Of course, this was the only time she had trouble with the threshold and crawled a bit!!

After that I gave her the camera and since she kept walking round and round with it I thought it would be fun to press record...

It's so funny - every time Emma walks past us or into the kitchen Scott and I look at each other, all excited! I've said it before and I'll say it again, we will certainly never take milestones for granted!!

Baby Update

You may recall that I am pregnant!! 31.5 weeks to be precise. My due date is September 22, less than two months away. I have to say I feel pretty good. The stairs are a little more challenging than normal and I yawn way more, but other than that I'm "bouncing around" (Midwife's words!).

Today we had a check-up, the baby is measuring well, heartbeat is good and he is head down.

I shared my concern with the midwife over the size of the baby. Scott and his siblings were all between 9-12lbs! Emma was only 5lbs 12oz!! I realize that big babies are born all the time, but it makes it no less scary! Anyway, she informed me that even though I don't have gestational diabetes, what I eat can impact the growth of the baby. The more carbs and fats, the bigger the baby will get. I had no idea - though I probably should have.

So, I will be doing my best to focus on proteins and fruits & veggies. (Not easy - I'm a BIG carb fan!) In the meantime it will hopefully also help me with my weight. I hadn't gained any in two weeks, until we went to Outback last night - d'oh!

With the birth getting so close I am now doing the things I put off, like completing the hospital admission forms - I didn't want to bother until after the ultrasound, as last time we changed hospitals!! At some point soon we'll paint the nursery - I don't think a boy wil appreciate the purple walls!!

Plan ahead

If you know me at all, (and by now you really should!) you know that I like to plan things early. As early as possible! That might be foreign to a lot of people, but now more than ever it is necessary. To visit my family, for example, we've had to plan around births, holidays, hospital stays etc. Not to mention planning for flight costs.

Due to my pregnancy we last visited the UK in December 08, and our next planned visit is not until the summer of 2010. Also in the summer of 2010 is the bi-annual Moebius Syndrome Conference, this time it will be in Denver, Colorado. We had kind of decided to skip it next year as that will a lot to cover in a short time. (Last time the trip was all paid for by a very generous benefactor!)

Yet, as we both thought about it independently we apparently both decided that the Moebius Conference is not something we should ever skip. Not only is it a time for us to connect with other Moebius parents, but also for Emma to discover that she is not alone in having Moebius, and in fact she is really very blessed with the degree of her condition.

When we talked about it over dinner we both agreed to do whatever necessary to make it happen. The debate is whether we drive (1750 miles, 26 hours each way) or fly (3 times the price!)!!

Later that night I caught part of "Hayley's Story", about a little girl with progeria - an extreme premature aging condition. Seeing how hard she and her family have to fight to find treatment (they know the cause, but no approved treatment) and keep her healthy in the body of an 80/90 year old. Well, I truly realized that we are very blessed that Emma is really so very healthy and so much to look forward too.

Rash decision

so this morning I noticed a pin-prick rash around Emma's knees. I thought maybe she had crawled through an irritant, but as I looked closer it was all across her legs, feet, arms and belly. We have been applying a corticosteroid cream for a rash on her butt cheeks (not diaper rash) since Sunday so I thought it might be an allergic reaction to that.

A visit to the pediatrician (who I guess knows better! ;-) determined that it is not the kind of rash that indicates an allergy. That would be more bumpy and inflamed. She swabbed Emma's throat and ran test for Strep which came back negative (but may reveal more after 24hours). She determined that it is most likely some other virus, probably throat related as her throat was red and swollen before the swab.

Emma is showing none of the usual symptoms of being sick, and since she can't tell us it hurts, and we would not see an aversion to drinking other kids would show, we really can't know for sure! In fact she should deal with it better because she won't get dehydrated!!

I did immediately call Christina and told her to watch Nathan. Even though Emma hasn't been to the hospital since last week I won't take chances. I will also not be visiting in case I transmit it. (Some people might not worry - I'm not one of them!!)

Careful!

Be careful what you wish for, right? Well this morning Emma was quite the character. As I vented her, which required some pretty strong squeezing on her belly she started talking. After a few repeats of the same sound I looked at Scott and asked if he heard her. He did.

What was she saying? It was a pretty clear string of three words - "Oh my gosh." She said it several times, but if you ask her to say it, she won't! It's not the best phrase for her to say, and she has heard it from me when I get frustrated. However, I maintain it could be much much worse!

There is no shortage of new sounds coming out of her mouth and she really is trying to talk as much as sign. Mummy is usually signed, whereas Dad or Daddy is verbal! I don't mind - the sign is unmistakable!

Nathan

Nathan is hanging in there at the hospital. We visited him again last night and he was up and about the ward. It's pretty cool, they attach all his monitor wires to a small box that he wears in a backpack, so he is still monitored but not attached to the bed. He took us to the playroom where he seemed like the lively little guy we all love.

Peeking out of the top of his shirt you can now see the scar that runs from his collarbone to halfway down his chest. Apparently he has no wish to see it just yet. I can only imagine how itchy it must be, but he's doing pretty good at not bothering it, with the odd reminder!

Nathan has always been a big drinker. Even as an infant he could chug a bottle at light speed, seemingly not needing to breathe during a drink! Since his surgery they have had to force him to even sip a drink. Yesterday though he actually requested a drink, so that's a great sign of recovery.

It seems as though his heart is still taking it's sweet time to recover and the countdown is now on. If the regular rhythm does not return by Monday they will be fitting Nathan with an internal pacemaker which he will have to deal with the rest of his life. We are still praying that won't be necessary.

Christina tells me that his heart rate was in the 40's when he slept last night, and that actually made it difficult for him to sleep. It is only in the 60's when he's awake. (For comparison, Emma's rate is in the 70's when she is in a deep sleep, and in the low 100's when she is relaxed and awake.) However, because his blood pressure was fine they didn't intervene. Now both Christina and Nathan are sleep deprived!

Here are some pictures from our visit last week...

Emma gets dinner in the waiting area

Emma tries to steal some of Daddy's drink (it was empty!)

Uncle Scott tries to cheer up Nathan on our first visit. Also in the picture is Bearface, the cuddly Rottweiler Scott bought me for my 25th birthday. Nathan loves playing with him, so we washed him and he's keeping guard at the hospital!

Dora Love

We all know how much Emma loves Scott. If he comes in during a therapy session she loses all focus! There is however one that she seems to love more...

Scott came home for lunch today and Emma was in her chair getting a tube feed. To keep her still I let her watch cartoons. Disney in the morning, Dora at lunchtime. Even after she was out of the chair she was mesmerized by Dora. Check it out...

Now that Emma is walking around we needed to get her good supportive shoes. unfortunately she is only a size 4, which is still considered infant size, with very narrow feet, so options are limited. Despite that I found her a pair of trainers (sneakers) that she seemed to like. In the store she walked around in them and stomped her feet in front of the mirror. They look funny as they are quite bulky on the ends of her little legs!

Here are some videos I took on Sunday which are just cuteness on camera!

Krackalackin'

Nursery Time

Two weeks ago I decided to go with Emma into the nursery at church. She simply won't sit through a service anymore, and instead of one of us sitting in the lobby trying to keep her amused it makes sense to sit in the nursery with her, where she can play with other kids and toys.

The first time went well. She was happy to be there and since I stayed we didn't have to deal with separation. Unfortunately though we did encounter one problem - snack time! With 10 kids between 0-3yrs, there is bound to be a snack time. The older kids sit with a juice box and some goldfish crackers. Emma prowled like a hungry hyena, waiting to grab any crackers that dropped to the floor!

As I was watching her, and Jeremy and Christina were taking care of the other kids we were able to avoid a choking incident! It did however raise the question of times when our friends are not in there!

Last week they were taking care of the kids again, and only had about 5 so I left Emma in the nursery for the entire message. She didn't even flinch when I left her, seeing a TV close to floor level and Uncle Jeremy right there. "Mum who?"

The original concerns about putting her in any childcare situation were focused on the germ factor - it's called the common cold for a reason!! During the summer this is less of a concern, plus she now has nursing care to handle the additional care overnight if she did get sick. The other factor is her g-tube. We are on a schedule now that means she eats before church and rarely needs venting during a service. However, we still can't leave her with someone who doesn't know how to handle it, and your average nursery volunteer might not be comfortable with a tube in a childs stomach!

In addition, I am not convinced that people really understand that Emma can not put any solid food in her mouth without constant supervision. A couple of times she has choked on food that has broken off in her mouth and she doesn't make a sound. She can't cough effectively to get it up and doesn't know how to chew. Most people are not familiar with child CPR either!

So, even though she is getting older, the opportunities for leaving her in the care of others are still very slim. The odd church service will have to do, and the rest of the time we'll have to stay with her.

When the new baby comes things will get interesting!

Mummy's helper

Emma loves to copy things she sees us doing. When we stand in the kitchen talking with our arms crossed, she's right there with us! When we leave the house and I tell myself each of the stove burners is off, she is pointing right along with me!

So of course, when she sees me taking the laundry out of the basket to fold it, she wants to do the same, sort of. I take it out, fold it and put it on the sofa or ottoman. Emma picks it up and drops it in the basket! I now have to leave a pile of clothes just for her to do that, so I'm not folding everything twice - usually her clothes!!

My baby is turning into a big girl!!

Busy week

It sure has been a packed week this week. Between bedtime and naptime there are only about 10 waking hours for Emma each day, so that really doesn't leave much room. Despite that we got a lot done.

We went to the hospital 3 times, though only once did Emma see a doctor!! We went grocery shopping twice, moved Emma into her new bedroom, had therapy, worked at the church for a few hours (Emma played with Miss Judy!) and Kimberly spent the day with us on Thursday.

Earlier in the week Emma surprised us again with her growing strength and determination. On Sunday she did this for the first time...

In addition we made our first trip to the Thompsons backyard pool on Wednesday. It wasn't super hot, but worth the initial chill of the water to really cool us down...

Trust me, that's no halo!!! ;-)

We opted for a life jacket this year so we can encourage Emma to kick around more, maybe start the swimming lessons. However, either the cool water or just basic fear meant that she clung to us tightly and whined for quite a long time. We thought it might be the jacket but she was the same after we took it off.

After a while though she got used to it and let us pull her through the water so she could kick...

Hospital Visit

This evening Scott and I went to visit Nathan. We also took his big brother, Jeremy, with us as he had not been to see him yet.

Unsurprisingly Nathan was excited about seeing "Uncle Scott" and we were able to make him laugh with silly comments and funny memories. It was good to be helpful. Apparently it was the most animated he'd been all day - which for Nathan was about 5% of his usual energy level.

It seems that he's been doing pretty good through the day and his heart is showing signs of trying to kick start itself.

After tomorrow comes one of the hardest times (I found) in the hospital - the weekend! It's like all progress stops. I'm not sure if it's because the familiar staff of the week are not there, the hussle and bussle of tests and new admissions is quiet, or what. I just remember the weekends feeling like the longest days ever, which is doubly odd as they were the only days Scott and I were both there!

Perhaps it was because only 2 people were allowed bedside the entire time, or because they wouldn't make changes to Emma's feeds and such over the weekend. It felt like the pause button was pushed Friday night to Monday morning!

Anyway, the Cardiac ICU is a little less restrictive so I would hope that even just being able to have more people bedside should make it pass quicker. Maybe it wasn't such a drag in the early days, but it's tough to recall.

It was a small treat tonight, as we got dinner with the guys in the hospital cafeteria we saw Dr. P, the neonatologist that had the most impact on Emma's treatment, including being the only one who knew which pulmonologist was familiar with Moebius. He seemed to remember us and was very friendly.

I also saw her plastic surgeon, but couldn't remember his name in time to stop him for a "chat." I had a couple questions about setting up future consultations! Of course I saw her pulmonologist on Tuesday but not expecting to bump into him completely forgot the question I had for him!!

Nathan

I just wanted to ask you all to keep praying for Nathan. There seems to be some complications following the surgical procedure and he needs a lot of healing.

Nathan was born with a heart condition that was inevitably going to need fixing at some point, which turned out to be sooner than we had thought. The side effects of the surgery were many and of varying likelihood. It seems that Nathan's complications could require a permanent pacemaker to restore the functionality of his heart.

I've quickly realized that this is way bigger than any of Emma's surgeries, and I can't even imagine what his parents are going through. The closest we have experienced was whether Emma's bowels would function normally. Everything else, like feeding has an alternative. There is no alternative to a functioning heart!

You can keep up to date with Nathan's condition on Christina's blog at http://redcupcentral.blogspot.com/

Take Two

Today was Emma's actual appointment at the hospital and we were there on time! Unfortunately the doctors took a little long getting round and we were there for 2 hours!

That aside, we got good news. Although Emma is only 21lbs 10oz, meaning she gained just 5 oz in 2 months, she is growing well and her length has actually accelerated so she is now on the growth curve for that! Apparently at her age her weight gain should only be around 5g per day and I guess that's what it was - I'm not doing the conversion!!

It was surprising though that she continued the behavior from the dentists office. She started freaking out when I took off her clothes to weigh her and then when the nurse tried to listen to her with the stethescope. I was able to calm her down though by asking the nurse to let Emma show her where to put it. Emma bought in and "helped" the nurse.

She didn't go for it a second time when the doctor came in and clung to me like a limpet. She seems to think if she climbs on the baby bump she can get a better grip on me.

The toughest part about these visits is when there is a long wait in the consultation room. Short of some colorful wallpaper there is nothing for Emma to do - even my Nintendo DS was rejected after a while. We were able to pass some time when I stood her against the wall and she would walk across the bed to me. She wouldn't do it in front of the doctors though!

Toys and books don't work because she really just wants to crawl around the floor - not on my watch!!

After we got out we visited Nathan, who's surgery went well. He is on a lot of pain meds and out cold really. Best way for him to be as he has quite the range of tubes and wires. It's definitely tough to see a lively boy so listless, but he is in the best place and his parents and both Grandmas are by his side.

We didn't stay long, it can be quite taxing to make conversation with visitors when you're so focused on your child, so I didn't want to be a pain. Besides Emma was overdue for a nap and passed out int he car on the way home - nice!!

By the way, she moved in to her new bedroom last night and seems to like it alot. Her nurse loves the new room!! I'll get some pictures up when it's all finished!

Brain Freeze

Today Emma and I headed downtown for a check-up appointment at the hospital. It just so happened that my friend was also taking her son (my Godson) for pre-op stuff at the same time. Little Nathan is having heart surgery tomorrow. :-( So we car pooled and drove together.

We split up and Emma and I went to our appointment, only to find out it is actually TOMORROW!! I'm not sure how I made the mistake, and thinking about it, we never see that Dr on a Tuesday! And of course, he wasn't seeing patients today so we have to go back again tomorrow.

I could put it down to pregnancy brain, but this morning Scott drove an hour to work only to realize he'd left his tool belt and screw gun in my car!! Thankfully he had a spare gun and charged battery in his trunk! Apparently we're both jelly brains!

As for Nathan, he got all his tests done, the last one being a blood test. In the car ont he way home he told Christina "Don't bring me here again Mom!" Unfortunately his surgery is tomorrow so hopefully the 5.30am arrival time will mean he is too tired to care!!

Nathan

I would like to ask all of you to pray for Nathan, and his parents. I think I'm a little de-sensitized to the anxiety of surgery, seeing it as almost routine and normal, but I'm sure Christina and Jeremy are a little nervous. Then there is trying to keep a 3 year old occupied and calm in a hospital room for 5 days - that, I think, has to be the worst part having done hospital stays a few times!

Mental Dental

After a busy weekend, we have a pretty busy week ahead. Scott is back to work, which is good and we'll probably all get into our routine again.

Today Emma had her second dentist appointment. She was fine the first time and since then we've been brushing her teeth daily, which she actually enjoys. Today however, not so much! She started screaming as the assistant put on her gloves to brush Emma's teeth! I had to hold her on my lap with her head on the assistants lap as she fought the whole time.

While we waited for Dentist Rachel I distracted her with a basket of stickers they have for the kids. She calmed down, but still clung tightly to me. When the dentist approached she got upset again and really fought hard against further examination - she even kicked her shoe off!

It's a childrens dentist office so they don't get too bothered by the fuss, thank goodness!

The good news is her teeth all look good, no cavities. Her top front teeth have always been slightly discolored and apparently this does make them more susceptible to cavities so we need to floss them regularly. That's fine except I can't even bother to floss myself!! I'll try though!

After we ran some errands and it was all good. Oh, except that someone put a huge scratch in my drivers door! What's up with that?!!

There's always something.

Freak out

A week of highs would not be complete without a low or two! Life's all about balance, right?!

This week being pregnant really began interfering with my sleep. For a while now it has been painful turning over due to pelvis strain, but heartburn was added to the equation this week. I don't get it very often during the day but I am finding it flaring up during the night. So the 2-3 bathroom trips take me longer to sleep after.

No big deal? My sleep affects me more than I ever realized. Not only does it make my moods darker but also how I think about things.

No doubt the huge steps Emma has made this week brought me insurmountable joy. I was just less able to fight off the worries and fears that the rest of life stirs up.

When I gave up work in 2007 I never anticipated Scott would be laid off, much less for 8 weeks! We have been incredibly blessed that he has had side work to more than cover the lost income, not to mention the extra time we've had together and the time he has been able to work on the church renovations. Yet when I am tired my thoughts turn to the future and uncertainties we all face. I forget the provision that God has already shown us.

Then there's the new baby. Finances aside, I found myself freaking out about how I will be able to handle two children. I'm not so worried about daily routines, as much as how getting little sleep will affect my ability to cope! Plus, how do you run errands with two children? I know it is done by mother's the world over, so there is hope for me!

You see, when you don't get enough sleep, the silliest of things seem like giant problems! I broke down in tears a couple of times Thursday and at 11.30pm as we lay in bed Scott listened to all the thoughts that were getting in my head and then said"Can I make an observation? You only seem to get upset about stuff when you are tired. How can we get you some extra sleep?" He's the best!!

Unfortunately we didn't have a nurse that night so I got even less sleep than normal!! It's just not that easy to get more sleep when everything else requires the same attention!

So, how to snap out of it?

It so happens that I am currently posting the daily devotions on our youth groups blog (http://c4youth09.blogspot.com/) and as I typed it from the book I took in the scripture and message. And so concluded, not only am I incredibly blessed in many ways, but I am also able to look forward to a future in heaven with God. That alone puts everything else into perspective. Time here is short and we can only do our best to serve God and others. We can rely on the Lord for the rest...

For the pagan world runs after all such things, and your Father knows that you need them. But seek his kingdom, and these things will be given to you as well. (Luke 12: 30-31)

On our way

There are currently three fundamental steps in Emma's journey that we are focusing on right now. They are eating, walking and talking. It is my understanding that they usually develop fully in that order from birth, 12-15 months and 13-18 months respectively.

Emma is almost 20 months old and given the challenges she has faced is doing incredibly well. We know she can walk and will do more with confidence. She is starting to talk, often combined with signing which makes it easier. And then there is eating.

Today I did not finish my lunch before the end of her nap so she was pestering me the whole time I was eating. Refusal to comply with her wishes often ends in tears but she was pretty mild today. Since I hadn't lost my patience, once I was done I offered to feed her which she was happy about. (I need patience for feeding as it can be a slow and frustrating time!)

I strapped her in and grabbed a jar of Butternut squash. Heeding the advice from the swallow study I got a small amount on the spoon and put it as far into her mouth as comfortably possible, scraping the food off on her teeth on the way out.

Right away I noticed she wasn't pushing it forward and out in her attempt to eat. I told her to 'chew' which for Emma is basically closing her mouth repeatedly as one might do after tasting something. Emma usually leaves her mouth hanging open so we have to tell her to close it, which really seemed to help.

No food came back out and it wasn't long before she swallowed. I asked her to say something so I could hear if she had anything at the back of her throat and she was clear! We did about 5 spoons and each one was swallowed!! In fact the bib has no food on it!!!!!

This was the first feeding since the swallow study, although we have given her plenty of pretzels and other items to encourage her oral motor skills. and how very encouraging it was. It's often tough for me to see progress being so involved that it must be good!

Emma managed to top it off right after though - I had hung her bag and tube ready for a formula feed and she crawled over to it, pulled her shirt up and tried to hook it up to her g-tube herself! I wonder if...

Daddy's Girl

If there was ever any doubt in the importance of the need to spend time with Daddy Emma removed all of it tonight.

After taking the youth group tubing today, Scott was hanging out with Emma, playing on the floor subtly trying to get her to stand by herself. We have been able to stand her up and quickly move away so she'd stand for a few seconds but this was different.

I was writing a blog watching out of the corner of my eye the first time she went from all fours to standing up all by herself. I quietly grabbed the camera before she did it again. (In fact I never acknowledged what she was doing at all and Scott kept it really low-key too. We were screaming inside!!)

And here it is...

And again...

And then Scott took it one step further, make that 21 steps...

And since then Emma has walked back to me, back to Scott, walked carrying a book and even watched the video of herself walking.

Her therapist said to us on Thursday that she's too smart to trick into standing or walking, and smart enough to understand it if we give her instructions. That's exactly what Scott did and she is!!

It's a proud moment for any parents so I can't tell you if it means more to us, I just know that I was beginning to wonder if it would ever happen. We knew she could, I just didn't think she would!!

God is good, all the time!

Miss Personality

We are really enjoying watching Emma express her personality and individuality (except when it means ignoring our instructions!). Each day she seems to have new mannerisms and quirks that make us laugh or say "Awww!"

In this picture you see Emma watching TV while I get her formula ready. Probably nothing amazing except to us, this is very much a big girl pose! Our baby's growing up so fast.



This is more of Emma's quirky side. At random times, wherever she is crawling she will simply drop to the floor and lay there for a few seconds! Here it's the cool wood of our bedroom. This morning the carpet in the church lobby! No matter the texture, temperature or cleanliness!

This is a recording of Emma "sleeping" at naptime on Friday. She did this for about 2 hours in total! It was very cute to listen to, if not frustrating trying to get her to sleep!

This morning at church I had the microphone before service and Emma was talking in to it for everyone! While younger babies were trying to eat it, she held it to her mouth with two hands and talked! Apparently she is watching everything!!

Happy 4th!

Today is Independence Day in the US, the day to celebrate the defeat of the British rule in America. AKA America's Birthday!

Being British today is just an excuse for a barbecue or used to be a day off work! On this July 4th Scott is working at the church so I decided to run errands with Emma. I wasn't quite sure what would be open on the holiday because on Thanksgiving everything closes.

What I learned was that the roads were deserted and so were the stores!! Saturdays round here are the day to stay off the road because of terrible traffic - not today!! It was a ghost town and took us no time at all to get around.

The highlight of my day was at Kohls department store. I received a $10 gift card from them in the mail and it expired today so I went to spend it. I found a $26 pair of sunglasses on sale for $10.99. With the giftcard, I ended up paying just $1.06 for some designer sunglasses - bargain!!

We then stopped at church to take a coffee for Daddy. Emma was customarily shy at first, before she started drawing on a piece of wood with Scott's pencil!

I'm not sure what we'll be doing this evening but I'm sure I'll hear more than one joke today about the British being defeated!!

Carrot!

This week Emma started to sign 'carrot' which is probably one of the only ones she couldn't do from the DVDs. I was quite excited, but more so about the words she is saying. So I have started a tracker on the right of the blog so you can see her progress.

The funniest right now is "uh-oh" which is not really a word, but she says it so clearly and sounds so cute. In fact she decided not to take a nap this afternoon, having had 40 winks in the car, and spent about 2 hours talking to herself!

I fear we may have to do some re-training for nap time!!

Just right

This morning Emma and I were out in the car, listening to B101 soft rock radio! Phil Collins's In the Air Tonight came on and made me think of England however many years ago. Songs can often do that to me, and I find myself wondering how did I end up where I am today!

Let me back track a minute...

After our vacation Scott and I started working on Emma's new bedroom. We went and bought the paint and rug on Monday, painted Tuesday and finished up last night. This morning Scott (who is still off work, but it's okay we have faith it will not be much longer!) got up to let the nurse out and set to work installing the ceiling fan.

When he finished and came in our room it was about 7.30am. I'd been awake for a little while, enjoying my lie-in!! No sounds from Emma's room until we were checking out the fan together. We went in to her room as she sat up on her knees and greeted us. She is so cute!!

She stood up to get out of the crib and gave us both big hugs and was chatting away. My heart melts when she wakes up so happy.

Scott went to work on renovations at church while Emma and I headed out to IKEA! What could we possibly need at IKEA? Emma has several machines in her room - CPAP, pulse-ox, suction machine and food pump. The food pump is suspended on an IV pole, but the others are on open shelves. Needless to say Emma loses to play with them when she's in her room! We decided to get a cabinet with a door so we can leave her in the room without worrying what she's doing to them!!

So, on the highway to the store she starts choking, more than normal. I pull over on to the shoulder as quick as I can to vent her. The whole time cars and trucks are whizzing past shaking our car. I was pretty nervous about getting hit and got back on the road as fast as I could, discarding the formula that I couldn't get back in her belly.

And as we start off again the song comes on the radio...

I look around me and wonder how I ended up driving on an American highway in the middle of the work day. Really, most people I grew up with are probably at work somewhere in England!

Here I am, not working, home to take care of my precious girl, about to have another baby, while my awesome husband is doing construction at church because he's out of work. Not what I'd have ever expected, yet every detail feels totally right. It's a good feeling to sense you are right where you are supposed to be!

Despite all the uncertainty of medical issues, work, additional family members and all the other stuff that seems to come out of the blue I find great joy in knowing that there is a purpose in all these things and that Jesus walks right beside me through it all.

I'll post pictures of her room when it's finished - it couldn't be more different than her current room!

Chatterbox

We have been working on Emma's speech a lot lately and while she finds it difficult to articulate many words without the lip movement she is doing great.

While we were on vacation Emma spent lots of time with the adults, two 5 year olds and a 3 year old all talking. The kids love Scott, and were always trying to play with him so a phrase Emma heard a lot was "Uncle Scott." Emma liked the sound of it.

Some of the words she is saying, and sometimes using with signs, are:
Up
Down
Off
Mama
Dada
Uncle Scott

The cutest part is that when we want her to say something, rather than sign we point to our mouths, so when she says things she does the same thing!

As with the eating, speaking is going to be slow progress also, and to what extent she will have trouble we don't know. It is encouraging to see progress, especially when children half her age are using words. The sign language is great and has been priceless for her to communicate but I am increasingly eager for her to catch up with her peers. I know - patience!!

And this is just Emma being goofy...

Swallow Study

Today was the big day of Emma's swallow study. What is that? Let me explain...

Emma was given a small amount of liquid to drink that contained barium. While she drank it she was sat in front of an x-ray video machine which showed the path of the barium from the cup and down her throat.

The purpose of the study was to see if the liquid, and therefore any other substance she ingests, took the path to her belly or if it went into her lungs. The latter was possible because cranial nerves are involved in the swallowing process and Moebius Syndrome is a disorder of cranial nerves.

The good news is that of the small amounts they gave her nothing went in to her lungs. However the process of her swallow is different than a child her age.

Firstly Emma has microagnathia (small lower jaw), a very small tongue which does not come out much past her lips, a high pallette (roof of the mouth), and she is unable to close her lips. If you watch yourself eat you'll see you close your mouth (I hope!) to create a seal while the tongue pushes the food back across the roof of your mouth. Not so easy when the parts are not the optimum size.

Then, once food gets to the back of your mouth/tongue it triggers a swallow (cranial nerves carry that message from the brain). Emma does not swallow at this point, she swallows when the food is further down her throat. So, if we put too much in her mouth when she does swallow there is too much to handle and it could leak into her airway by mistake. Also it took her 3 swallows to clear just a small amount of liquid.

This means she needs to eat in very small doses and swallow several times between spoons. In reality this could mean several minutes between spoons as Emma does not swallow very often and is too young to comprehend the instruction, we think. Time and maturity will be the keys to improving her eating capability as she has to learn to eat in the same way most babies do from day one. She's just starting very late and with additional difficulties.

The speech pathologist did say that she thought it would help if Emma was able to close her lips. You can see here that her top teeth are exposed because her top lip is attached to her gums...

I had previously spoken to her plastic surgeon about a lip augmentation that would give her that ability so it is likely sometime in the future. She still wouldn't be able to move the top lip, but it would cover her teeth and the bottom lip comes up.

Both Scott and I were able to take Emma, and one of her therapists, Melissa came too. We didn't know Scott would still be off work so Melissa had planned to come. I had to stand in the hallway during the study due to the x-rays. Interestingly the staff there didn't notice my pregnant belly until I pointed it out!

Standing outside is hard because you have to hear your child scream and not be able to go to them. She settled down after the speech pathologist let Scott feed her!! D'uh!

For once I was the good guy and got the comfort hug after the bad people made her eat!! It was all over in under an hour, from check-in to leaving which was great.

Compare: Emma today...

Emma one year ago...

Vacation story

It was our summer vacation last week. While we were really looking forward to it I couldn't forget that with no nurse overnight one or both of us was facing 7 nights of little sleep. Would it be a rejuvenating vacation or exhausting week?

Here's how it went...

Day 1 - Saturday
We packed the night before so once the nurse left I got up, showered and packed the last few items. Once Scott got up, and then Emma we were really ready to hit the road and by 8.30am we were on our way.

We arrived at the boardwalk about 10am and after 10 minutes it started to pour with rain! It showed no signs of stopping so we headed to a diner for some brunch until we could pick up the keys to our apartment.

Day 2 - Sunday
The weather was still pretty gloom on Father's Day so we were stuck around the house for most of the day. Scott made chocolate chip pancakes for everyone's breakfast, played some Wii and visited other friends who are here on vacation for dinner.

Day 3 - Monday
We were up pretty early thanks to Emma but the day was looking pretty gray. Still, after 2 days here we were determined to hit the beach regardless. Our resolve was not dampened by the occasional rain showers!

I had been unsure what to expect of our beach experience with Emma so mobile and curious. It wasn't ideal for the first day. We decided to try a nap on the beach rather than heading home, but she only got about 45 minutes. She managed to rub either sand or sunscreen in her eye so it was red and watery.

By about 2.30pm I was tired of trying to keep Emma out of trouble and Scott took her down to the water. I assumed she'd have a paddle - I hadn't been anywhere near it so I wasn't sure of the temperature. About a half hour later Scott brought her back soaked from head to toe! He only took her out because she started to turn purple!

I hadn't brought a change of clothes for her, or a towel - perhaps naive to think she wouldn't really go in that deep! So I dried her off with our towel and borrowed some clothes before bringing her home for a bath and food.

We headed out to the boardwalk in the evening, leaving Emma with Grandma Ellen and Pops. We had a great time and it was awesome to be able to stay out later than 10pm!

Day 4 - Tuesday
Learning from Monday we did a better job of planning ahead for the day. We put Emma down for a nap at 11.30am and ate lunch at home before we headed to the beach. Grandma stayed home until Emma and her cousin Josiah woke up. When they did Scott went home to bring them to the beach.

Before that however we took advantage of our freedom and both went swimming in the sea. It was freezing at first but with the water at 70 degrees it was a quick adjustment. It was great to have some fun and not be worried about the baby.

Emma with Grandma Ellen

Cousin Josiah

Not long after Emma arrived I wanted to see her in the water for myself. As you can see she really did love the water. I was very pleasantly surprised.

Later on as we walked along the beach she kept trying to steer me toward the water! She was in dry clothes so I declined. However, as I soaked up a few rays Scott took her for a walk.

After a while I looked around for them and saw they were at the waters edge. I was horrified when I saw Emma crawling on the sand where the water came up. Before long she was soaked, as you can see...

I couldn't get mad though - she was loving it! Clearly she is fearless and even a wave splashing in her face didn't phase her! She did not want to leave!

Later that day the three of us and Aunt Kimberly visited the boardwalk and I challenged Kimberly to a round of Dance Dance Revolution in the arcade. I'm sure a heavily pregnant woman jumping around was a sight to see. Well, judge for yourself... (I think I kept up pretty well!)

Day 5 - Wednesday
After a very late night for Emma she passed out cold by the time we got her in bed and didn't stir all night. That made my job much easier, however when I did get her up I realized I hadn't changed her diaper in the night like usual and apparently it had been necessary. Sheets and all went right in the washer.

Not long after Emma's nap we hit the beach for no more than an hour before torrential rain hit. You've never seen a faster clean up!!

Earlier in the week I dropped my camera in the sand but it was still functioning. For some reason when we got back today it was not working properly. The only picture I took today was this one - Christina reading a book!!
When we were waiting for dinner to cook Emma was at the door scoping the outside and she started taking her hands away. We found Kimberlys camera to capture the new found skill before she quit on us. I'll get that to you ASAP!

Vacation story pt 2

Day 6 - Thursday "Scott's 27th birthday"
Despite it being his birthday Scott got up fairly early as the forecast was for a hot sunny day and we had not seen one of those this week!

We were on the beach by 9.30am and almost right away Emma wanted to go for a walk, and she wanted to go right in the water! It was pretty warm so I let her paddle but was trying not to get her diaper wet just yet!

The rest of our friends arrived around noon and we were on the beach until after 6pm. Emma went home for a nap in the middle of the day and was back, ready for more!

While we were packing up to go home Emma was sat in the tent with our friends 5 year old daughter. Emma loves older kids, and she especially likes Mikenzie. Kenzi found it odd that Emma was staring at her and said "stop looking at me like that!" We explained that Emma can only look like that! Kenzi was quiet at first, but we explained how smart Emma is and Emma was using her sign language. At one point she looked at Kenzi and signed 'friends' without any prompting. I almost cried it was so cute!

After showers Scott and I went for dinner with two of our friends and then to the arcade for him to spend the quarters Emma gave him for Father's day!

It might sound crazy but as we prayed before we left I asked to get a tan! Might sound silly but God does hear every request! However, rather than waiting to see if I would get a tan I did what I could to get the desired results and was a little sporadic with the sunscreen. Needless to say I got burned (most of us did!). It was a good lesson in waiting on God to answer prayer instead of continuing to take matters into your own hands!!

Day 7 - Friday
The forecast was good for today, with storms possible in the afternoon. Well that's still a good day on the beach!!

We were on the beach from 11am until 6pm! The weather was great, the water warm and plenty of waves to jump over. We kept Emma with us the whole time and she ended up sleeping for a good 2 hours, albeit only after she was super tired!

After showering we all hit the boardwalk for junk food and arcade games. We got home about 11am and some how Emma was still awake! She slept well through the night and I expect will be pretty sleepy on the ride home.

(Did you notice that the better the weather the less I used the camera? Well, I was on vacation too!!)

Revived

Don't ask me how but I picked up the camera yesterday and it was working again! When it's off the shutter doesn't fully close still, but it will do until we can get a new one.

Pictures and videos will be coming!!

R.I.P.

All good things must come to an end and unfortunately today was a day that we had to say goodbye to my beloved camera. No ordinary camera, it was a gift from my parents for my mission trip to Africa in 2004. During that trip the camera served me well.

Since then we have used the camera to take thousands (I'm not kidding) pictures of our lives, and especially Emma. The video capability was awesome and brought you all the great classics like Emma's first laugh, sitting up for the first time and generally funny behavior!

I'm sure that technology has moved forward a great deal in 5 years, but I am skeptical that we can find an affordable replacement of that caliber.

Not to mention I don't know when we'll be able to bring you your regular dose of Emma-time.

Watch this space!!

Rainy Day

What miserable weather we had to day! It rained all morning. It didn't hold us back though! The three of us went to the hair salon where I got a trim and Emma got a repair job! She was really well behaved. What was really cute is that she had a baby gown!!

You'll be pleased to hear I was actually happy with my haircut for once. A combination of good communication and minimal distractions!!

This afternoon Scott and I put Emma down for nap and hit the road, leaving her in the care of Grandma Ellen and Aunt Kimberly. Our destination - the Phillies game!

The rain was light at the start of the game and held off for all 4 of the game hours! The Phillies lost in the 9th inning, however we had a great time watching the game live. A few foul balls came close a few sections away. Someone got hit by a ball and there was a brawl across the stadium!! Love the ball park!

Despite a hearty brunch before we left I could not resist getting some fries and cotton candy during the game!! Eh, I'll save a few calories tomorrow!!

A rainy day off beats a nice day at work!!

Hair Today

So I'm pretty sure that if there was a handbook for mothers somewhere in it would be guidelines for cutting you childs hair as all mums do it. Last night I went ahead without the guidebook and cut Emma's hair!

The good news is that hair grows back, the bad news is it takes a while!!

I decided to even out the back of her hair which was quite unruly. I did it after her bath and had her sitting on the changing table with a book while I chopped. What I did not account for was her torticolis, which means her head tends to tilt to one side.

It looked great when it was done and I put her to bed. (Scott was out at a meeting!!)

In the cold light of day one side is longer than the other. Thankfully I have a hair appointment tomorrow so I am hoping she will take pity on my child and fix the damage I did.

Lesson learned - leave it to the professionals!

BRAT 09

This past weekend was the Bible Read-A-Thon at our church. Starting Thursday evening we lock the youth group (5-15 teenagers!) in the church (actually the old parsonage this time!) and taking it in turns they read the entire Bible cover to cover. The purpose is mainly to raise sponsorship money for Speed The Light (a fund supporting missionaries), but also they focus on the Word of God while having fun.

For the youth leaders, Scott and I, plus 3 other adults we take shifts in supervising and participating. This year I was home over night and during naptime so that Emma maintained her schedule. But as soon as she woke up we headed over to the church. Scott spent Thursday night there but came home in the early hours of Friday and Saturday nights.

Emma is incredibly social and it's never more apparent than when she spends time with many people. We saw her increase vocally after visiting with my family at Christmas, and after this weekend she just seems so much more confident.

We are blessed with a youth group of kids that love children and since the leaders have 4 children between us, that makes our lives much easier at events like this. Emma was able to play with our Godsons as well as Aunt Kimberly and the other teens. I don't think she came near me until she was getting tired!

Despite spending so much time in a different place with lots of new faces and no air-conditioning (not pleasant!) she was so well-behaved and really did us proud. I only hope it won't all change when she can walk and talk!!

One of her favorite new experiences was playing with Christina's guitar!! She gave her permission, really. As you can see here, having an audience was quite fun for her too!

We did try to practice walking, but she wasn't playing ball! We tried it a bit at home today and she's definitely getting more confident. She has started getting around on her hands and feet, not knees! Next step is to stand upright!!

Sign of the Times

I've entered a new phase of my pregnancy. It's the one where people are in no doubt I am pregnant and not just fatter! Previously people have asked in a way so as not to be insulting if I was not actually pregnant! It's actually more of a relief because while I feel like a walking blob I clearly have no just 'let myself go!'

It was never more apparent than Sunday while I was giving announcements to the congregation in church. Stood in front of everyone, with a microphone as I do every Sunday, but this was different. As I opened with a welcome to new guests I suddenly got really emotional and choked up. I think I avoided all out crying, just! I'll keep it to a few words next time!

It may/not surprise you to know that there are still people out there who don't hold the door open for pregnant women, even if they are also carrying a toddler!!

Physically I am noticing more aches and pains, especially when I'm trying to sleep or after something mundane like vacuuming. I do still have spritely moments where I'll run up the stairs (actually, it's more like a slow jog, but faster than a walk!!) or generally do something I wouldn't think twice about 6 months ago.

Last week I was reading up on the latter stages of a normal pregnancy - the parts I know nothing about, like frequency of doctors visits etc. It hit me that I enter the third trimester in a couple of weeks, and have just 14 weeks to my due date. Based on how fast the past 6 weeks have gone it will be here fast.

As the summer starts up I feel like I'm doing pretty good. I have gained a total of 30lbs - yes, that's more than I should gain for the whole time, however I will be doing my best to keep any additional gain to a minimum. And while it sounds like a lot I am still able to where pre-preggo t-shirts of mine!

Cankles featured pretty heavily in the last pregnancy so they haunt my nightmares! The squooshy tight feeling around my ankles was not a feeling I have forgotten, nor wish to repeat! Keeping hydrated will be the only way to fight it.

Emma has 4 hospital appointments in August and we will be doing lots of coaching on our goals of walking (close), talking (emerging) and eating (day by day!!). I can see our schedule eating up the time well!

In the meantime we are preparing to move her into her new bigger bedroom. There will be room for some of her toys and more space for the nurse and equipment - important as she gets bigger herself. We're doing it now so that she adjusts well and does not connect the change with the new baby. I hope it goes better than when I tried to switch her crib round!! (I'll be keeping exactly the same layout in the new room.)

We are enjoying Emma's progress so much. "You are so cute" are words we utter throughout every day, whether she is buckling her own car seat or laying in bed with us chating to herself while we try and sleep! I am proud to say that Emma even knows how to put her toys and books away when she is done!! That's my girl!

Walking Tall

Today during physical therapy we re-tried a technique to help Emma walk. You wrap a scarf around her chest, holding the ends up behind her, so her chest is supported. I tried it a couple of months ago and she was very wobbly and I just forgot to try it again.

This time not only was she balancing very well but she was pretty much walking by herself! We only loosely held the ends so we could catch her if she stumbled. She was even standing up by herself in the middle of floor!

We are so excited, and we now have the means to release our grip when she is walking - she holds our fingers with a death grip so she won't walk unsupported!

We'll get some video this weekend - we don't want to wear out the fun she's having with it by making her perform.

Oh the joy - it won't be long now.

More Emma

Yesterday afternoon Scott was with Emma while I took a shower. When I got out Scott called up to say I needed to some and see this. You do too - too cute!!

Later on she was captivated by the mirror in her toy computer...

This is priceless - we are babysitting two of our friends boys and the youngest, Aaron (10.5 mths) is now really mobile. Watching Emma and Aaron was too funny, I couldn't stop filming this. Check it out.

Strike Two

Last night we watched the Curious Case of Benjamin Button. An odd story, but really well done and really enjoyable. It was a long movie, and really is a love story but involves a child with a strange disability that sees some discrimination. I could say it was the pregnancy hormones, but in reality it was just like me to be bawling at the end of the movie! Love a good cry at a movie!!

Anyway, a small character in the movie repeatedly mentions having been struck by lightning 7 times, and being thankful he's still alive. It's actually LOL funny. With today's storms and the events I'm about to relay it occurred to me that lightning really does strike twice.

Remember how on Sunday I got so frazzled when Emma threw up and I was all alone? She topped it tonight!

Scott was up at church working, so I was eating my dinner in the armchair while Emma played on the floor near me. All was good until...

I looked over at her and saw a black smudge on the beige rug. Wondering how she found some mud (or if Scott had been wearing dirty sneakers in the house!) I went to investigate.

It took me quite a few seconds to realize that it was not mud, and indeed the same substance was oozing out of Emma's diaper. There are three important points to mention here:
1) Emma usually only poops when she sleeps - I don't know why.
2) Having been constipated, Emma's poop has been pretty firm and 'neat'.
3) She was not wearing any pants because it was humid today and I never replaced them after her nap! (I know, that'll teach me!)

After recovering from the initial shock I realized that Emma had it on her hand and all down her legs! This was so much worse than some puke! So much worse!!

I quickly laid her down and told her not to move! Deliberating between getting the wipes and getting her shirt off (which was already dirtied!) I think I worked in that order - it's all a blur.

I wiped hands, legs, feet, back to the hands! I grabbed a clean diaper and put it under her before undoing the dirty one. Unfortunately it got soiled on the way so I ditched it for another clean one.

Emma doesn't mind diaper changes, unless you hold her legs up for too long, which of course I had too! So she started crying and squirming!

Once I got her wiped and diapered I put her to one side to play while I tried to work on the 4 carpet stains. Baby wipes did not cut it so I got out the Clorox wipes which did the trick.

I removed the clearly contaminated toys, and prayed that none of the others had been hit!

I washed my own hands about 6 times, and after seeing Emma had something under her fingernails I got a bowl of soapy water and gave her hands and arms a good clean too.

After a few more washes of my own hands (don't judge me!) I was able to sit back down and finish the other 80% of my now barely warm dinner. All the while I was pretty grossed out and wondering how I might microscopically check the wicker toy basket and other toys for bacteria.

The question of whether Emma put her hand in her mouth at any point remains unanswered, I can only presume not as it was her left hand that had any significant poop on it and she prefers to suck her right hand!

So there you have it, a clear example of how one trial (Sunday) can prepare you for a greater trial ahead! And I am pleased to say that I had a sense of humor about this one from the beginning (if not tinged with a smidgen of disgust!).

Reality check

Today started out pretty good, Emma slept in until 7.45 am after a late night last night and I chose an outfit for church without feeling fat or frustrated (major!).

Unfortunately my smooth ride hit a major pothole not much later. Scott and I drove to church seperately as he had to pick some stuff up beforehand. We get there very early, before even the ushers arrive! Emma and I were hanging out when she started to gag - a sure sign that she has gas. When it doesn't subside quickly it's kind of like the warning signs of a volcanic erruption!

I rushed over to my bag, scrambling for the syringe and tube to vent the air from her belly. I connected it and squeezed her belly, but not much came out - yet she was still gagging. As you might imagine it was a matter of seconds before she threw-up.

Emma doesn't have much velocity so it just runs down the side of her face, onto her hair and shoulder and then the church chairs. On this occasion it was alot and although it's just formula, so not particularly gross, it's not the easiest thing to clean up.

What you may not have picked up on is that while Emma's puking, I have to hold the syringe in one hand and somehow get something to soak up the mess!

It's not a situation I've found myself in lately and with Scott not there I was not sure where to turn. I looked around me hoping for someone to lend a hand - I even started calling "help" but no-one came.

I was frantic and grabbed the only thing I could, a handful of baby wipes. With one hand I tried to scoop up the mess from the chair, then clean up Emma.

I finally did the best I could and set her down on the floor while I ran to the bathroom to toss the wipes and flush the tube with water.

When I got back Emma was trying to crawl and was crying because the pretty dress I'd decided to put her in was too long and caught under her knees preventing her from moving. If I had any patience left it was hiding and I informed Emma that it was about time she got up and walked so her clothing would not be an issue. It fell on deaf ears!

The day didn't really get much better and ended with me smashing a bowl! I'm just trying to get through it without anyone getting hurt!

The episode at church has stuck with me all day. It was not a serious incident - I wasn't worried about Emma choking at all. Yet I realized that no matter how together I have everything much of the time there will always be those unexpected moments that circumstances take an unexpected turn and you need help. What was most upsetting for me was that no-one came to help me!

Maybe because it was church, or maybe because I understand that every trial in life has a lesson to learn I looked for more behind this. And here is what it taught me...

Many of us have it together. The major facets of life are running smoothly and we can handle the odd bump in the road without breaking stride. However, it is guaranteed (check the Bible!) that something you don't know how to handle or aren't prepared for will come up. And when it does you won't be able to handle it alone.

Many of us are confident that our family or friends will be there when we need them. Unfortunately, despite the best of intentions they can't guarantee that. Which leaves two options: you deal with it by yourself, alone or you can turn to God. Many people don't decide until they have too, and at that point God may not be the first person to come to mind.

I have been eternally thankful that I had turned to God before things got really hard. I don't know that I would have known how to when circumstances were clouding my mind. And I have relied on Him so much since. Unfortunately this morning, despite being in church, I was consumed with what was happening and not staying calm or keeping a sense of perspective.

Thank goodness God doesn't give up on us, even when we aren't listening to Him!

What?

There is no doubt that the minds of children are often a mystery, and without the language or expressions to elaborate fully it is a fun game to wonder what Emma is thinking! For the most part Emma is a pretty placid, quiet girl though increasingly more verbal.

Today we were out shopping with friends, so Emma had lunch a bit later at noon and then Daddy came home for lunch before she went to bed. Normally she'd have been asleep on the drive home, let alone still going after food, but not today!

After watching her amuse herself (and us) in the kitchen for several minutes I grabbed the camera to capture one of those great times of random crazy behavior! (The reason that she hangs out in the doorway is that she would dearly love to go outside and loiters there int he hope someone will take pity and take her out!

This behavior is quite a departure from how she is first thing in the morning. Scott took this video when they got up today - she's probably watching a cartoon on the TV! (And yes, that's two mornings in a row I've slept until 7am!!)

Earlier this week Emma during Emma's weekly occupational therapy session Melissa brought the bubbles out again. We think Emma likes them, she doesn't really try to pop them, just watches them float! She does seem more interested in generating the bubbles, as you can see here.

While she is not able to make the pout you or I have when we blow on something, the movement in her mouth and tongue shows incredible development. While it's not easy, it is possible to blow without moving your top lip, so perhaps one day she'll be able to blow bubbles. I hope so.

Hello Gorgeous!

When he is working Scott usually has to get up between 5.30 and 6.30am. Not so since he's been off! He's been getting up nearer 8am, which is not too bad, but he's conscious he needs to get back on schedule so it's not too hard to transition back to work.

Unfortunately Scott is possibly the most difficult person to wake up. His alarm clock is an obnoxious siren that wakes the whole house, and I hate it!

On the flip side I can get up pretty quick and don't take much to be woken up. I usually get up around 6am, whenever Emma does. I'll be honest, I've been trying to get Scott to let me sleep in the whole time he's been off - just to help him stay on schedule you understand!!

Last night Scott agreed to get up with Emma today, he just needed me to wake him up and kick him out of bed. I was happy to agree and even got a syringe of water - the last resort because he gets grumpy when I use water, I discovered on Sunday!!

To avoid falling asleep on the sofa Scott took Emma out to get gas in my car and some baby food for her feeding. Apparently at the store an older woman helped them at the checkout and was talking to Emma. Once she finished serving them she said "By gorgeous" so Scott told Emma to say "Thank you." The lady turned to Scott and said "I was talking to you too!"

Too funny - getting hit on at 7am!!

Hairy

When Emma was born she was a hairy little thing! She had hairy shoulders, her head was hairy and I was actually worried she was a little too hairy!


Then as she grew the hair receded and she developed a hairline somewhat like Scotts, which is receding!! I worried that we would be working a comb-over for her!

Lots of people comment on how long her hair is getting and I can't really see it until I look back. Now she is really getting some hair and it seems to be growing in at the thinner spots too!

I don't mind taking a look back at how far she's come too!